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SO, guys. I'm being totally and super serial right here.
A huge Narwhal has just exploded out of my floor right now and well, I'm frightened and scared for my life like a lost little girl. Saef me!
So, er ITT: discuss what to do if a horned animal suddenly appeared out of your floor bearing aggressive intentions and there's no escape. What do? How do you kill it?
You can't bear wrestle a narwhal surely. The nose is sharp!!!
every once in a while a big goat-man appears in my room. this usually results into a huge orgy of pleasure and human sacrifices.
bawww you're lying. Narwhals are nice and jovial creatures. They just want to nuzzle you with their humongous horn.
I just tried giving it a hug and I got a bitchin big hole in my shoulder area!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty
I loathe you with every fiber of my being.Quote:
SO, guys. I'm being totally and super serial right here.
No no no. What you have to do is listen to the narwhal, and do exactly what it tells you to do. You might think you have a problem, but narwhals have problems too.
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/729269/Images/narwhal.gif
You had no contingency plan for this situation? I suppose you're not prepared for the Chinese invasion either. The dangers of the world must be prepared for, ya know.
Narwhal in your floor? No, Shoden, no. It's the narwhal's floor now.
I tried to tell it to go away, nicely and I got stabbed a few times. Never knew before how vicious and awesome Narwhals are. They weren't joking about beating polar bears in a fight.
I've raised that Narwhal since it was a pup! Back in '62 I was feeding him peaches and daisies! Please do not harm him. :(
The reason I left him on your floor is because you keep stealing my rations, oh the precious rations, I was thinking, what do I do now, Shoden is stealing my rations, even the raisins, (raisins just dried up grapes.)
Stop stealing the rations, I call off Hunkleberry!
I don't even... Just... yes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Clo
Who else is disgusted with Shoden's inactivity? What a let down! All that build up! :nonono:
Or possibly, he wasn't lying about the Narwhals. Maybe, in his confusion, he just thought they were the mythical Narwhal creature, when in actual fact they were hungry alligators, and now Shoden is being slowly consumed by these dreadful slow eating alligators. :whimper:
Why, oh, why, does cruel destiny have to take Shoden away from me again?
Narwhals are my friends... And didn't explode...He made you think he exploded!! :P
Nope, they still haven't gotten me yet. There's a lot of blood but er, I think I'm managing to survive.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive-Man
It helps to procrastinate them. Twice.
Twice you say? that's where I was going wrong then, I was only going for one on one each.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive-Man
Seriously Narwhals in your floor is a very annoying problem to have to put up with.
I can no longer walk around barefooted anymore!!
You may find it's better for the land and your health that way, though. Bare feet leave small trace organisms which eat away everything around them and sometimes can actually grow into Narwhals. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by ShodenTwice you say? that's where I was going wrong then, I was only going for one on one each.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive-Man
Seriously Narwhals in your floor is a very annoying problem to have to put up with.
I can no longer walk around barefooted anymore!!
You're joking right? This is a very vivid and in depth realisation and point that ultimately proves that my crisis episode of narwhals is but a foreshadowing of the true, grim, malevolent and tyrannical motives of this pointy nosed species.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive-ManYou may find it's better for the land and your health that way, though. Bare feet leave small trace organisms which eat away everything around them and sometimes can actually grow into Narwhals. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by ShodenTwice you say? that's where I was going wrong then, I was only going for one on one each.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alive-Man
Seriously Narwhals in your floor is a very annoying problem to have to put up with.
I can no longer walk around barefooted anymore!!
One by one by one by one they appear, they rise, take over our floors worldwide til they have us all cornered inside or outside. Our species wont have the privacy or window to reproduce so therefore... we will go extinct UNLESS... Unless we do something about these Narwhals NOW.
Think old friend, think. We need a plan, well truly cunning and unfailable plan!
A plan? Join them. I already did.
Didn't you give him cupcakes? everyone knows Narwhals love cupcakes duh!
Narwhales don't just show up unexpected. What did you do?!
Only thing I can think of that summoned them was the sheer loudness of playing bass with a 160watt amp at full blast, XPQuote:
Originally Posted by theundeadhero
super serial
I like the version on boobs more.Quote:
Originally Posted by I Took the Red Pill
Everyone knows the Narwhal's only natural enemy is the Golden Marmoset. You need to be careful when handling them though. The stench of human blood sends Marmosets into a battle-rage.
I really don't see another option, though. Marmosets are the originators of modern CQC/urban warfare tactics, and you need that expertise in this situation.
Its a risk I'm sure is worth taking, they've adapted nazi uniforms now so like, these narwhals mean business now like.
There is no defeating the almighty Narwhals, the Narwhals will have your home, have your mother, have your wife and definitely have your children they are the alpha and the omega the beginning and the end and they have become death, the destroyer of worlds.
Sounds like you have a hard on for the narwhals.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceglow
They're the Jedi of the sea, why the hell would I not? For that matter Wooks howcome you don't too?Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGodSounds like you have a hard on for the narwhals.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceglow
Because a wet wookiee is a smelly wookiee.
No you mean that there might be some furry Narwhals about once you're done but thats ok because the ones on Shoden's floor already did your furry mother.
I think you just like the thought of me boning some whale poon.
That would be Aliveman's duty, he wont let you taint his precious narwhals!Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod