I like to think of Jesus with, like, big eagle's wings, singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with, like, an angel band, and I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk.
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I like to think of Jesus with, like, big eagle's wings, singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with, like, an angel band, and I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk.
I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life.
I like to think of Jesus as the kind of dude that just shows up at your house on a Saturday afternoon with a twelve pack and a Game Cube and just bros out with you the whole time. And when I'm all, "gettin' kinda hungry dude, you up for some food?" he's all "yeah bro, I got this" and he orders two pizzas and pays for them. And then, like, as the day goes on, and we drink more and more, we really start to open up. I talk about the problems I've had with relationships in my life, and then he tells me about some of the problems he's had with his dad. And then we both just sort of commiserate about things and say how good it is just to have someone else who understands because sometimes it just feels so lonely in the world but y'know sometimes you just need a bro there who'll always listen and know how you're feeling. And then we'd be like, why can't bros cry around each other? And we'd start tearing up, and then eventual full-on crying. And we'd just be like, drunk and bawling on the couch, and then we'd hold each other for comfort because we're just bros and that's something we should be able to do. And then at one point between sobs and whimpers we'd catch each other's eyes and just stare deeply for a moment. And it's just be like, well, I've always felt it, and I just bared my soul to him, why not now? Maybe he feels the same! And then I'd lean in, and he would too, and I'd feel his beard brush against my face, and well, you can guess the rest.
That's how I like to imagine Jesus.
You were drunk when you wrote this, weren't you?Quote:
Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon
"...anyway thank you for listening to me jesus...i know i've said a lot but these are problems that have been plaguing me for a while now. please help....amen"
*baby jesus fartz, giggles*
I was going to post something awesome but I see shoeberto has already won
I like to think of Jesus as Kim Jong Il. Everyone's not quite certain why he does what he does, but it's not our place to question. He's elevated to a higher plain, and whenever he decides to sink a South Korean war ship or shell village it's because it's all part of his grand design. His grand design being a fully capable nuclear weapons system.
These are just tests of your faith. If you fail that test, your asking for a Taepodong 2 aimed at your house.
I don't like to think of Jesus. I'm muslim :bigsmile:
Don't Muslims believe in Jesus as God's prophet as well?
The Daily Mail has taught me to know that all muslims believe in are beheadings and bloody conquest.
They consider him a prophet. But it's not a praying figure for them. So they don't think of him :PQuote:
Originally Posted by Bunny
I didn't know thinking about and praying to were considered the same thing.
This thread is about how you picture Jesus when you pray, isn't it? -.-
I would be hard-pressed to imagine the first four posters of this thread praying at all.Quote:
Originally Posted by Remon
my post involves me screaming "oh god!" a lot but i don't know if that countsQuote:
Originally Posted by BunnyI would be hard-pressed to imagine the first four posters of this thread praying at all.Quote:
Originally Posted by Remon
:erm:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoeberto
Remon, the intent of this thread was to generate a series of quotes from the movie "Talladega Nights" because I was watching it late last night and laughing my honky tonk hillbilly ass off.
It took a decidedly different turn.
Oh, uh, I was also just quoting that movie which I have also seen.
Well, I understood the purpose of this thread. :)
I tried watching Talledega Nights but I decided to castrate myself instead.
I feel I did the more enjoyable thing.
It's funny, because it's reasonably accurate. I love King of The Hill because of all the times I can relate to being exposed to that type of culture.Quote:
Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon
Which comic was it that said if Jesus came back sporting shades and preachin' people would be calling him 'hey seuss chris' ?
One you made up?
I need to rewatch Talledega.
Not drawn comic! stand-up comedian!Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod
I think it was chris rock.
that would make sense because chris rock isn't funny ayeQuote:
Originally Posted by PeegeeNot drawn comic! stand-up comedian!Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod
I think it was chris rock.