Preliminary Voting Results! [and next tasks!]

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"The Warrior of Light is watching over these elections, so don't piss him off."

Ladies and gentlemen, quinas and pupus, the first voting round is closed and results are in! After painstakingly double checking, triple checking and then quadruple checking just because I like the number four, we have the parties going through to the next round.

Now, previously (and just to add suspense) it was a two-party race. Last year exemplified this. There were a number of large parties and they all eventually folded to yield just two super powers. But when you only have two sides of a coin, you miss out on the edge. So, EoFF, this year we're bringing back the edge.

The parties going through to the next stage are:

• Justice League of the Internet Unlimited
• The Poké Party
• The Newbie Party

That's right. Three of you suckers. This should change the dynamic a tad, shouldn't it? :D

But we must respectfully acknowledge the efforts of the other three parties. They have done a lot in the pursuit of power and we thank them for making this a more enjoyable occasion! This goes out to you, Princess Party, Cactuar Hemp Taco Party and 501st Legion. We love you guys!

I want to see those smear campaigns continuing strongly, but it's time for your next two tasks.


The Minister for Foreign Affairs: your job is to choose one website on the internet with which to merge, invade or destroy. EoFF needs more power! You must provide justification, and a strategy for actually doing so. Your battle plan is to be sent to me via mognet message!

The Treasurer: your job is to design a "Get Rich Quick" scheme for EoFF so that it can become an independent entity. EoFF has been owned by a non-Cid for too long, it's time to take it back for the people! The only requirement for this task is that it is awesome. Mognet message it to me when you're done.

Both tasks are hereby given 48 hours to complete.


As for the Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister, you will be getting tasks in roughly 25 hours. This humble Election Booth has another event to attend to, but there will be an opportunity to inform you all of your missions!

Fun fact: All three of our top parties scored the same number of votes. That's a tight race if ever I saw one! This would be true if it wasn't for ICEGLOW'S VOTE AT THE LAST MINUTE FFFFFUUUUU. But seriously, tight race or what.

Haha that last bit amuses me

Poor 501st Legion. Come join us for Tacos at the losers table :D We've got girls! (And supposedly they're princesses~)

Looks like we're not done delivering our share of unlimited justice yet.

Wow, I was expecting close. But...not that close XD That is indeed, amusing.

Congratulations to the victorious, and I salute the fallen. Let the games begin! :bigsmile:

Also, awesome banner! To quote Bartz, "Let the light shine upon us!....Or whatever."

http://vignettegrimoire.com/_lynx/charmander.jpg

Edit: Remember to vote early, and vote often! Thank you, second accounts!

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Wesley Plimpington was a normal and mild-mannered young man. However, with the tragic events in Japan in 2011, he was bitten by a radioactive fundie, after the radiation, believed to be no more harmful than a sneeze, spread to his home state of Maryland.

The fundie bite gave Wesley the power of LOGIC! Of SCIENCE! Of ARGUING and NOT STOPPING until all opponents have GOTTEN BORED! He became....

ATHEIST DORK!

With his sidekick, Shoeshine Boy, Atheist Dork patrols the internet, purging the illogical, crushing their logical fallacies and smashing their strawmen, until all recognise his superiority.

In his latest adventure, after a falling out with Shoeshine Boy, Atheist Dork is lured by a sultry temptress, Palindroma of the JLI. But what does her boyfriend, Super Delete think of the love of his life hooking up with a sworn rival?! And will actually getting laid cause our hero to lose his powers and stop being the mighty Atheist Dork?!?

Find out in Atheist Dork Issue 58 on sale, now!

Thanks for all the love and support, bitches!

The planet-destroying laser beam shall be arriving shortly.

Election booth said the race was really close, so you probably fed one too many newbies to the sarlaac. :(

Also this banner looks fantastic :bigsmile:

Woohoo Newbie Party!

How about that, the JLI prevails!

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Originally Posted by Election Booth

[CENTER]
Fun fact: All three of our top parties scored the same number of votes. That's a tight race if ever I saw one! This would be true if it wasn't for ICEGLOW'S VOTE AT THE LAST MINUTE FFFFFUUUUU. But seriously, tight race or what.

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What can I say I'm the 11th hour ice breaker!

smurfing eleventh hour super power, dick.

Poké party, I choose you! :kaocheer:

Good to have your support Remon, the PokéParty has room for all sorts!
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BREAKING NEWS: SICK SCIENTIST LOONY BOB CONDUCTS DEPRAVED EXPERIMENTS ON NEWBIE PARTY MEMBERS?!

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After last week's report about Loony BoB attempting to sell drugs to unsuspecting newbies, our top man, Genius Lynx, decided to see just how far the rabbit hole goes. What he found shocked him to the core, and he barely escaped with his life to bring you this fantastic image.

Deep within his foul lair, the wicked scientist Loony BoB has the poor members of the Newbie Party under his thrall. Pictured, we can carry him carrying out depraved experiments on Flying Arrow, Christmas, ScottyRedXIII, Shaibana, and boris no no.

It seems the entire Newbie Party was a front, designed to lure naive and trusting members into the spider's web, so that his disgusting urges and manaical fantasies could be carried out.

With the Newbie Party apparent favourites in the election, I must now make this appeal to neutral voters. Do you really want to allow, nay, endorse, a regime such as this one? Do you really want your Prime Minister to be a sick modern day Dr Mengele? Do you really want Team Rocket to swoop in and steal all of your Pokémon?

Do the right thing. Vote Poké Party, before the world is consumed by Loony "Giovanni" BoB's vile ego.

For people who claim the other party's leader is a sick nazi these Poke guys seem to have a well oiled propaganda machine that dr. Goebbels himself would be proud of.

don't like nazis? Take up the fight for justice and vote for us!

For those you less inclined to prove Godwin's Law, use your head and let reason lead you to the Poké Party.

I barely escaped that hedonistic bird's nest with that evidence. Were lighting better, more horrors would probably come to light. I am never going near there again.

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Originally Posted by PsychoticWalrein

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BREAKING NEWS: SICK SCIENTIST LOONY BOB CONDUCTS DEPRAVED EXPERIMENTS ON NEWBIE PARTY MEMBERS?!

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.[/I]

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Now you have Lynx to supply you with pictures! :mymelbert:

PS: Cute picture btw!! :kaoclove:

Sorry for the delay my friends, but apparently my university feels that internet is an unnecessary construct and sees fit to have it crash constantly on my laptop. I would be sending angry emails, but alas...

But now onto the important business. I promised you an update and here it comes! The Deputy Prime Ministerial and Prime Ministerial Candidates, you have a debate-esque task ahead of you. However, I couldn't decide which of the citizen's suggestions to use, so I'm going to make you work a bit harder.

I'm not going to stipulate which member does what, but I want proposals from each of the parties on the following subjects:

• Inactives: What should we do with the dead weight?
• The Front Site: Does it need improving? If so, how?
• Boring EoFF: Do we need more events, and what sorts? Give suggestions and they may come true!
• Avatars: Is 80x80 really enough? Or should we return to the golden 60x60 days?

Now there's quite a few topics there, and it's going to be a challenge. The first two topics are due in 48 hours from the time of this post, and the next two topics are due a further 48 hours after that. I'll try and remind you all!

Other ministers and ordinary party members are encouraged to contribute ideas to this. But I want to see a fun yet constructive view on all of them. After all, that's what wins you votes!

Let me repeat. The first two topics are to be mognet messaged to me within 48 hours. These proposals should contain the entirety of your argument - I'm not going to let you officially respond to any other proposal. Feel free to misconstrue their words to villify them, though.

I'm sure you'll all figure it out in the end. Best of luck to you all!

PS if you are uncertain of something, ask me. I don't bite much, and it's only soft and sensual. But seriously, I will clarify anything that you need clarified.

An avatars debate? You might as well smurfing thrown it up there as a Pop v Soda debate, jesus.

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Originally Posted by Jiro

An avatars debate? You might as well smurfing thrown it up there as a Pop v Soda debate, jesus.

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The only correct answer is soft drink.

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Originally Posted by Pokéface

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Originally Posted by Jiro

An avatars debate? You might as well smurfing thrown it up there as a Pop v Soda debate, jesus.

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The only correct answer is soft drink.

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I love you.

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Originally Posted by PsychoticWalrein

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BREAKING NEWS: SICK SCIENTIST LOONY BOB CONDUCTS DEPRAVED EXPERIMENTS ON NEWBIE PARTY MEMBERS?!

http://vignettegrimoire.com/_lynx/_a...tist-small.jpg

After last week's report about Loony BoB attempting to sell drugs to unsuspecting newbies, our top man, Genius Lynx, decided to see just how far the rabbit hole goes. What he found shocked him to the core, and he barely escaped with his life to bring you this fantastic image.

Deep within his foul lair, the wicked scientist Loony BoB has the poor members of the Newbie Party under his thrall. Pictured, we can carry him carrying out depraved experiments on Flying Arrow, Christmas, ScottyRedXIII, Shaibana, and boris no no.

It seems the entire Newbie Party was a front, designed to lure naive and trusting members into the spider's web, so that his disgusting urges and manaical fantasies could be carried out.

With the Newbie Party apparent favourites in the election, I must now make this appeal to neutral voters. Do you really want to allow, nay, endorse, a regime such as this one? Do you really want your Prime Minister to be a sick modern day Dr Mengele? Do you really want Team Rocket to swoop in and steal all of your Pokémon?

Do the right thing. Vote Poké Party, before the world is consumed by Loony "Giovanni" BoB's vile ego.

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BREAKING NEWS: WHAT HAPPENED TO INNOCENT NEWBIES WHEN THEY JOIN EOFF!?

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Do the right thing. Vote Newbie Party, before the world is consumed by Psychotic's lust.

WHAT IF BOTH OF THEM ARE RIGHT

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Well in my business you learn quickly that often there is no such thing as truth, only what sells papers and what doesn't.

We Newbie Party work together for the better of EoFF! We have a mission to reveal the dirty truths of the other parties to the public! We are no Shinra Corporation that will use any unscrupulous means for profit! :bigsmile:

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This just in:

PokeParty members admit to having horrible taste in webcomics.

Hey hey hey, don't blame me for all of this. She brought that filthy B^U rag onto this forum, I am merely using her own weapon against her.

You can't explain your way out of this one, dirtbag.

You're right. Wh...what have I done?! :crying2:

mom if youre reading this im sooooo sorry

I used to look up to you, Paul. :(

Dear Psychotic exerts enough consideration and ethics when playing Halo to make up for this small faux pas. He saw CAD and raged, like any intelligent being. We apologize for Christmas bringing up CAD due to her excessive traumatic experiences with drugs and BoB.

I am really upset about having work to do. You know being in charge means no responsibility, right? I have people so I can do nothing.

I prefer Penny Arcade, personally.

More of a pictures for sad children guy myself.

Every time Lynx speaks, I love him more and more.

Are we talking about nerd comics or just comics now?

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Originally Posted by Julbacca

Are we talking about nerd comics or just comics now?

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either way xkcd is the correct answer :p

I think I'm late? Yeah, I'm late. Sorry about that crew, time slipped away from me there. Instead of making a new thread, I'll just use this one. Entries incoming!

Minister for Foreign Affairs task

Here are the submissions from our prospective Ministers for Foreign Affairs! There is quality work here gentlemen, nicely done indeed. Once again, the order is random.

The JLI

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Originally Posted by Viewtiful Prot

I suggest that we destroy Facebook, for the sole purpose that this particular website is slowly invading the lives and privacy of everyone on the internet. Plus the fact that this website is selling our profiles to unwanted third parties for profit while we, the consumers or users who use Facebook, earn nothing out of it. Destroying Facebook will free everyone of these injustices caused by Facebook. Like this if you like this idea.

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The Newbie Party

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Originally Posted by Bert

Codename: BAMFS!



Purpose:
Infiltrate the Squaresoft website and show them who the real BAMFS are in these Final Fantasy interwebs!



Procedure:
Hack into Squaresoft's main website and replace all banners with Eyes On Final Fantasy banners
redirect every link to every Final Fantasy to the Eyes On Final Fantasy corresponding page
Replace the color scheme with the traditional Eyes On Final Fantasy colors
Redirect all of the questions and inquiries to the Eyes On Final Fantasy chat room


Infiltrators:
The now defunct site staff. I mean come on they gotta have something to do right?


Estimated Time of Completion
May 06 2011 08:00



Minister of Foreign Affairs,

Senior Escobert Trowa Barton IV


This message will self destruct in 30 seconds...:smash:

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The Poké Party

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Originally Posted by Pokéface

Let it be known that the Poképarty stands for all that is just and all that is true. This means that we are the sworn enemy of all purveyors of BULL:bou::bou::bou::bou:. And one Bull:bou::bou::bou::bou: purveyor which must be brought down is FOX NEWS. Yes, that's right, we're going straight for the grand chancellor of Bull:bou::bou::bou::bou: purveyors 'cos that how we roll. Of course there will be several obstacles along the way, not least of which will henceforth be called Phase 1: How to convince the biggest purveyor of Bull:bou::bou::bou::bou: in the world to join forces with the world's biggest Final Fantasy site. Well, the answer is, in fact, much simpler than you might think.

Phase 1 - Cutting off the head of the dragon
There is a one word answer to this problem: Akumaou812. Or Joel, for those that joined after the Akumaou812 era. Or Our Expansive Mascot to those who never had the fortune of knowing Joel. The process is as follows:

• Send him to the Fox News HQ, claiming he's invented nuclear fusion. Fox News, being purveyors of Bull:bou::bou::bou::bou:, will not research him, and will put him straight into a prime time slot.
• While he's en route, send an email to Bill O'Reilly, which says Joel refuses to speak to anyone who a) likes Slipknot b) likes Chun Li.
• Bill O'Reilly, during the interview, mentions offhand how Slipknot are responsible for 90% of the evil in the world and Chun Li is responsible for the other 15% (you can't explain that), and...
• Joel enters Jude Khanzo mode, and rampages througout the studio, killing the prominent members of staff.
• This leaves the malleable underlings who will submit to our will, for fear of being eaten.

Phase 2 - Combining forces with the headless body
We shall instate our REAL reporters; Jiro being the first and we'll run with that for a while. During Phase 2, our primary concern is to integrate the two websites. Unfortunately, the Fox website will still contain a lot of Bull:bou::bou::bou::bou:, so we'll have to incorporate it until we have the manpower to change it. I've incorporated a screenshot of the website during Phase 2.

Click to see EoFF during Phase 2:


Phase 3 - The EoFF-Fox News dragon-chimera baby is born.

• With our figureheads having a strong foothold, all remaining Fox staff will be fired. This includes all reporters, anchors, journalists, cameramen and caterers.
• This means Jiro will be required to take over the journalistic responsibilities of all former Fox journalists; fortunately he's a very hard-working young man.
• Shiny will also be responsible for all camera work. I foresee Shiny and Jiro forming a strong friendship during this time.
• Slowly, but surely, the Bull:bou::bou::bou::bou: to Good :bou::bou::bou::bou: ratio will decrease, as the old Fox News content is removed and replaced by real news.
• Joel will become the new mascot of Fox News. This will frighten people into watching. We will be ruling with fear.

Finally, we will not report on fat people blaming McDonald's for their girth. And we won't report on anyone who uses the phrase "You can't explain that."

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Certainly plans to think about EoFF. We might yet become rulers of this wasteland we call the internet!

Treasurers' submissions incoming!

Treasurer task

Our Treasurers had to think of a way to make EoFF rich. Our dream is to be a fully self funded community, not ruled over by non-Cids! So, here are our proposals.

The Poké Party

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Originally Posted by Iceglow

Here is my plan of action for making us all rich as quickly as possible.


Ice Master Iceglow, Poké Party Treasury officer's get rich quick proposal!

I will sell my posts at $1 a word. We will all become billionaires overnight.

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The Newbie Party

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Originally Posted by ScottyRedXIII

Our Idea to get rich quick is to sell Charlie Sheen Endorsed Products to make even the biggest loser feel like they're #WINNING.

Products include:

• Drinkable tiger blood (not real tiger blood). And 15% of income from selling this will go towards saving the tigers (#WINNING)

• Charlie Sheen Pills for an extra dose of #WINNING in the morning to wake you up.

• Protect your self from the troll's kit to become the ultimate warlock.

• Charlie Sheen Inspirational posters to motivate and much much more.

We know this will be a great success because when the other parties inevitable lose, they will want all of these products so they can feel like they're #WINNING too.

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The JLI

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sir Beardclava

First off, we help The Ultimate WARRIOR beat up the evil Hoak Hogan, recover all the loot from his evil deeds,
and return it for the reward. The beat up will be recorded, and sold has propaganda.

In case that that doesn't work, we heroes of justice will open a barbers shop, and shave the foul villains who have been hit by my power. After all, the beards my power creates are so tough, that finding a way to shave it off can get rather expensive. They are also very shiny, so anyone who has one is obiviously evil, and has their assets frozen. For those who are wondering how they will pay with no money, Super Delete will delete all records of them other been frozen.

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Care for some cash EoFF? Remember these proposals when the time comes to vote!

And now we wait for the proposals from our Prime Ministers and Deputy Prime Ministers. ISN'T IT EXCITING, EoFF?!

Looks like I've got a job lined up at Fox then?

Do I love my party? Hell yes.

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Originally Posted by Genius Lynx

Do I love my party? Hell yes.

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My sentiments exactly.

The JLI does not spin propaganda machines. Well, not since the JLI's central computer went rogue*. We persevere onward towards our goal of great internet justice, and don't let the political squabbling of citizens get in the way.

I am happy to see our ministers furthering our cause and providing worthy entries.

*see JLI Unlimited #47: Firewall on Fire

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Originally Posted by qwertysaur

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Genius Lynx

Do I love my party? Hell yes.

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My sentiments exactly.

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I thought you guys would like the surprise of my suggestion :D

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Originally Posted by Election Booth

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Iceglow

Here is my plan of action for making us all rich as quickly as possible.


Ice Master Iceglow, Poké Party Treasury officer's get rich quick proposal!

I will sell my posts at $1 a word. We will all become billionaires overnight.

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For that to work you'd need to start posting interesting things. :greenie:

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Originally Posted by PsychoticWalrein

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POV FROM A NEWBIE WHEN HE JOINED EOFF

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Well, we clearly walked those two tasks.

I don't know what Proto was on about although I liked his witty final sentence. Bert was pretty organised, I liked it too. But Face just delivered a manifesto for awesome that no-one can compete with.

In the second task, the other parties were going on about how great they were, which is nice and all, but it is something we've all heard a lot over the past couple of weeks or so. Steve, in a brilliant dose of irony, made the shortest entry. And the funniest too, because damn can that boy talk.

also, Becky - Shauna? Turkeyberry? They stopped being active at EoFF years ago. For a so-called representative of the Newbie Party, you sure do dwell on your oldbie heroes a lot... :greenie:

I felt like I could have done more with mine but, I couldn't find any newbie party members online while I was doing it late last night :(

I must say; the lack of Election Booth comics makes me weep. I wouldn't mind going on an adventure with my dear friend AG!