The 'Everything is bollocks' thread.

Post annoyances and bad things that have happened to you recently as a method of venting frustration and/or providing some quality schadenfreude.

I'm in the lethargic phase just before I get a job and do something worthwhile, so to try and counter this I thought I'd ride around town for the day and get some good exercise. Ten minutes into it, my laces got caught in the chain, and then I cut my leg on the pedal. Then I realised I brought no money and already I was thirsty, and my mouth tasted like piss for some reason. Utterly dejected, I went home and called it a day.

I still feel bored and generally apathetic. :greenie:

Share, share!

I'm sorry about your leg, and that you're familiar with the taste of urine.

I'm in the middle of fighting to get my GI Bill paperwork run through the system. That's always good for some laughs.

My city has decided to start firing at eachother again & endless street riots started when 200 idiots from the other side went into the tiny catholic area of Short Strand & attacked every home u8ntil they were chased out by semi-retired boys with firearms. Luckily its not where I live this time so its only a WEE bit bollox. However I've been asked to he3lp guard some houses and that's definately bollox. I really cant be bothered sitting up all night drinking endless tea. So yea bollox

im finding myself extremely impatient lately and while im generally very happy minor things put me into a bad mood

so yea, everything is bollocks

I got in for late enrollment to a english course for the summer but was late so I missed most the first essay stuff and got an email form my teacher today saying that it was mandatory and i'd have to drop the class x.x

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Originally Posted by Freya

I got in for late enrollment to a english course for the summer but was late so I missed most the first essay stuff and got an email form my teacher today saying that it was mandatory and i'd have to drop the class x.x

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Wow, isn't University awesome?

I just saved over 50% of the cost of my vacation and bought the ticket months in advance. going to visit hsu shay bert nikki and wil (and whoever meggies is on eoff maybe) yay n_______n

I got some

My boyfriend made me watch some crap shows and I told him they were crap and he got mad at me so when he fell asleep on the couch, I left him there.
Also, my post office is on strike the 1 time of year I am actually expecting mail.
AND I'm stuck studying math 5 hours a day, 4 days a week for my GED exam next month and quite frankly, I don't care what (x-8)(4x+3) -5(5x-3) is supposed to be reduced to.

(SPOILER)
Btw the answer is 4x(squared)-54x-9

Everybody driving like they want to collect insurance money.

I'm sick and have to go to work anyway because I can't afford not to. Pretty bollocks to me~

My whole life is bollocks. But I'll spare you the details.

Today my train came in... wait for it.... 80 minutes late.

I asked my manager and she said i can still leave on time. WHEEEE

Here's another bollocksy thing, I'm having a horrible week. On my way to work I got a flat tire. Yup. Bollocks.

Everything is peachy here again.
















In view of this development, I'd like to retract my bollox.

The party I was going to on Friday has been cancelled. That's about it.

Even more bollocks on the Uni front, I was able to drop the class but they still expect me to pay the full amount. While I understand I missed the deadline for the refund, they smurfed everything up in the first place. The smurfed up my enrollment so I was enrolled late, then because I was late I missed required material which forced me to withdraw from the class anyway and when I do so they tell me I have to pay the $500 something. They are basically asking me to pay them $500 for giving me a headache. ARG! I want to stab someone! :mad2:

My summer reading books are 600 pages long, dense, and filled with detailed nonsense. What a great way to waste away a summer. *sulks in corner*

My electric tripped while I had been grinding for hours in Gran Pulse (FFXIII).

My husband hasn't been feeling well this week and it's been hard to get laid.

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Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

My husband hasn't been feeling well this week and it's been hard to get laid.

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How you doin'

my partner generally quashes any nerdy passtimes with complaints - it's an ongoing struggle to try to get a gaming group together.

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Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

My husband hasn't been feeling well this week and it's been hard to get laid.

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Just have him lay there.

:mymelbert:

Fine, I'll come over.

This is where I insinuate that you are not a man. Pretend I came up with something clever.

I'd show you how much of a man I am, but I'd get banned.

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Originally Posted by Freya

Even more bollocks on the Uni front, I was able to drop the class but they still expect me to pay the full amount. While I understand I missed the deadline for the refund, they smurfed everything up in the first place. The smurfed up my enrollment so I was enrolled late, then because I was late I missed required material which forced me to withdraw from the class anyway and when I do so they tell me I have to pay the $500 something. They are basically asking me to pay them $500 for giving me a headache. ARG! I want to stab someone! :mad2:

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Stabbing someone would probably be the wrong way to handle it, but you can make the lives of as many of them as possible hell before they ever see a penny of that $500.

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

The party I was going to on Friday has been cancelled. That's about it.

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I had to cancel my party this Friday 'cause Julian was going to crash it.

I fixed some minor things my car, but now the A/C went out. It's probably the 600 dollar compressor. :|

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

The party I was going to on Friday has been cancelled. That's about it.

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I had to cancel my party this Friday 'cause Julian was going to crash it.

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I don't like you.

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

I'd show you how much of a man I am, but I'd get banned.

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Having an eternally flaccid penis doesn't make you a man, Julia.

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Originally Posted by 123456lQq

I'm in the middle of fighting to get my GI Bill paperwork run through the system. That's always good for some laughs.

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Wow... these bots are getting more and more convincing.

It's okay everybody! It's alright now! It's dead. We're safe.

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

The party I was going to on Friday has been cancelled. That's about it.

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I had to cancel my party this Friday 'cause Julian was going to crash it.

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I don't like you.

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I thought we were rotary BFF's. I'm crushed.

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Originally Posted by KaiserDragon

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Originally Posted by 123456lQq

I'm in the middle of fighting to get my GI Bill paperwork run through the system. That's always good for some laughs.

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Wow... these bots are getting more and more convincing.

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I've been found out. :(

EDIT: Wait, that's my post with a different screen name. Either that's part of the joke and I'm very dense, or I missed something.......probably dense. Still, I haven't seen a spam bot that will copy and paste another post before. If they can do that now, I guess Skynet is one step closer. That's bollocks.

The bot quoted you, but the post has been deleted.

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Originally Posted by Chimp

Everybody driving like they want to collect insurance money.

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I smurfING KNOW RIGHT.

Just everything this week. But it's almost over. I have almost reached the day off.

I'm just tired of these monkeyfightin snakes

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Originally Posted by Rebellious Eagle

My summer reading books are 600 pages long, dense, and filled with detailed nonsense. What a great way to waste away a summer. *sulks in corner*

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I remember my summer reading going into my sophomore year. One was Uncle Tom's Cabin, which was a fairly light read. The other was The Classical Slave Narratives, which was an anthology of 4 narratives written by former slaves, weighing in at like 1200 pages. They were really good, but dayuuuuuuuuuum was that a lot to fit in.

And then it turned out that the teacher only wanted us to actually read one of the four, and it just didn't get communicated to the students when the lists were sent out. Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu.

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Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon

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Originally Posted by Chimp

Everybody driving like they want to collect insurance money.

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I smurfING KNOW RIGHT.

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Thirded. I've had to do way too much driving this week and jfc WHAT IS EVERYONE'S PROBLEM. I've been close to having panic attacks because of how awfully everyone has been on the interstates.

My complaint: I hate moving, and I'm ready to be in my new place already.

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Originally Posted by Shoeberto

My complaint: I hate moving, and I'm ready to be in my new place already.

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Oh man, I feel your pain there. I think I've moved 13 or 14 times in my life now and it NEVER STOPS SUCKING.

This week won't END!!!!!!

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

This week won't END!!!!!!

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This week will end and the next one will come far too quickly!!!!!!

I was going to hang at somebody's house tonight but he blew us all off for his girlfriend. smurf.

A couple weeks ago I had some metal stuck in my arm from an rpg blowing up too close to me and it's not healed yet even though they pulled the metal out that day. Bollocks.

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Originally Posted by theundeadhero

A couple weeks ago I had some metal stuck in my arm from an rpg blowing up too close to me and it's not healed yet even though they pulled the metal out that day. Bollocks.

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You call that bollocks, I call that pretty smurfing lucky it wasn't worse! Glad you're still with us.

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

The party I was going to on Friday has been cancelled. That's about it.

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I had to cancel my party this Friday 'cause Julian was going to crash it.

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I don't like you.

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I thought we were rotary BFF's. I'm crushed.

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You hurt me. :(

I just said I'd like to retract my bollox and it missed the target. My gifts are wasted on your truely remarkable bell ends.

I was going to comment on that :(

Too slow once again.

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

The party I was going to on Friday has been cancelled. That's about it.

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I had to cancel my party this Friday 'cause Julian was going to crash it.

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I don't like you.

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I thought we were rotary BFF's. I'm crushed.

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You hurt me. :(

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I thought getting abused was your kink. :love:

How'd that rx-7 situation go? (It's not COMPLETE thread derailment, mods. If he didn't get it, that's bollocks.)

Haha, I went to go test drive it after you sent me that info and it was gone. :(

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Originally Posted by Demon Dude

I was going to hang at somebody's house tonight but he blew us all off for his girlfriend. smurf.

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Wait he blew you and then went to see his girlfriend? I think your friend might be gay if he's blowing you and all of your friends.

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Originally Posted by Citizen Bleys

I was going to comment on that :(

Too slow once again.

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+1 for this.

He said it was for educational purposes. :(

I'm a straight-A student who never gets in any sort of trouble and I still have less freedom than my siblings. ARGH!

I'm hungry. Goddammit.

I'm being molested by a wasp wtf

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Originally Posted by theundeadhero

A couple weeks ago I had some metal stuck in my arm from an rpg blowing up too close to me and it's not healed yet even though they pulled the metal out that day. Bollocks.

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Holy trout. Okay, I'm done with you being in the military now. Come back home or I'll come get you.

My employment contract ends on Thursday. When I emailed my boss and asked if I'd be staying on after that, coming back in the fall, or getting the boot I was told he was out of the office and would be talking to me about it this week. It's now Tuesday morning with not a word. Nothing like leaving word on my continued ability to feed and shelter myself until the last possible minute. :mad2:

I'm having an awful time sleeping lately D:

there's not enough time in a day when you work night shifts like i do :( that's my bollocks complaint

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Originally Posted by Demon Dude

He said it was for educational purposes. :(

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Educational as in obtaining experience for future use? :laughing:

OnTopic: Every time I go outside to relax a bit, there's always a wasp that tries to harass me, I kill them over and over again! They keep coming back! I must find the source of these wasps to put a stop to these shenanigans.

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Originally Posted by TrollHunter

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Originally Posted by Demon Dude

He said it was for educational purposes. :(

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Educational as in obtaining experience for future use? :laughing:

OnTopic: Every time I go outside to relax a bit, there's always a wasp that tries to harass me, I kill them over and over again! They keep coming back! I must find the source of these wasps to put a stop to these shenanigans.

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For his studies into salt content in semen allegedly. I was dubious, but hey, if it was a study then people need to know these things, right? And yeah, wasps. smurf 'em.

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Originally Posted by Citizen Bleys

I was going to comment on that :(

Too slow once again.

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Simply not acceptable. I deliberately delayed my reply to this to teach you a lesson. How's your own medicine taste? Huh? Bitter, I bet it tastes bitter.

I've decided that everything is bollocks.

EVERYTHING.

What about puppies?

everything includes cheese

I take personal offense

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

What about puppies?

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smurf puppies.

Puppies that look at you all nice and then decide to redecorate your kitchen with feces and piss and then think "hey lol i know you feed me and keep me alive but idc" and then you bring a girl over hoping to get lucky and she loves dogs but she's allergic and then she breaks out in a rash and then you don't get super special funtime so she goes home and shags another dude whilst fido is all there like "oh lol i ain't got food fill me up bitch" and then he dies and everybody is sad at that and he gets prime position somewhere nice where dead dogs go and then i'm getting pressured to leave home when I was cleaning up his crap and piss from the place we smurfing prepare food?

smurf dogs.

:onoes:

Wow. Serenity now, DD.

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Originally Posted by Rostum

Wow. Serenity now, DD.

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YouTube - ‪Serenity Now bombs a World of Warcraft funeral‬‏

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by Rostum

Wow. Serenity now, DD.

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YouTube - ‪Serenity Now bombs a World of Warcraft funeral‬‏

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Damn. Well, I was making a Seinfeld reference.

He has a point though.

Obviously not realising I was in my garden, my neighbour decided for some reason to spray the hose over the fence, soaking me and getting my laptop wet. What a knob.

All I saw was garden, wet, knob, spray.

Well you would, wouldn't you?

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Originally Posted by Rostum

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

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Originally Posted by Rostum

Wow. Serenity now, DD.

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YouTube - ‪Serenity Now bombs a World of Warcraft funeral‬‏

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Damn. Well, I was making a Seinfeld reference.

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I know, I think the video is more fitting. :p

This should probably be renamed 'DD's thread of complaining' because you guys are either too happy or, for some weird reason, are reluctant to share embarrassing or personal stories to strangers on the internet. heh. weirdos.

I have barely slept for what is approaching 48 hours now and last night, which was supposed to be some time to cheer up our friend whos' girlfriend is moving for four months, turned into a disaster as two of the guys ate something nasty apparently prior and drunk too much which smurfing turned a chilled night out into a midnight vomit competition. One of the vomees (?) was the poor bastard whos' girlfriend has had to leave as well. They were in a state though and we were genuinely concerned.

Thread revival for a good reason! Reasons actually.


So two weeks ago my RX-7 (Petunia) wouldn't crank. It was getting too much gas. So I installed a fuel pump cut off switch to control the pump while cranking.

A few days later it popped a coolant hose. So I replaced it.

Then the starter died, so I replaced that.

Then some contact in the ignition switch failed, so I had to install a push button for starting.

Then a smaller, rare, special coolant hose broke. So I ordered one from MazdaSpeed, payed for next day delivery, and they sent the wrong part. The hose showed up yesterday. While removing the alternator to replace the hose, one of the bolts holding the alternator on took the threads with it. So I retapped and helicoiled the alternator.

Now this morning I go to crank up my Miata (Sneezer), and it randomly has a dead fuel pump! Et tu, Sneezer? It's not even close to March 15th. What the hell is going on?!?!?!!

And it's 104 degrees today. Bleh.

So who else is pissed? What's crap for you right now?

Work keeps cutting my hours. :(

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

Thread revival for a good reason! Reasons actually.


So two weeks ago my RX-7 (Petunia) wouldn't crank. It was getting too much gas. So I installed a fuel pump cut off switch to control the pump while cranking.

A few days later it popped a coolant hose. So I replaced it.

Then the starter died, so I replaced that.

Then some contact in the ignition switch failed, so I had to install a push button for starting.

Then a smaller, rare, special coolant hose broke. So I ordered one from MazdaSpeed, payed for next day delivery, and they sent the wrong part. The hose showed up yesterday. While removing the alternator to replace the hose, one of the bolts holding the alternator on took the threads with it. So I retapped and helicoiled the alternator.

Now this morning I go to crank up my Miata (Sneezer), and it randomly has a dead fuel pump! Et tu, Sneezer? It's not even close to March 15th. What the hell is going on?!?!?!!

And it's 104 degrees today. Bleh.

So who else is pissed? What's crap for you right now?

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that's a lot of problems for a mazdoo. what year is it? I have a 2007 and after 4 years the only problems I've had with it were self inflicted xD

Sorry about your hours, Pike. :(

Mazdas are pretty tough, this is unusual circumstances. We race them and push these cars very hard with good reliability still being quite common.

The Miata is a well maintained and properly serviced 1990. I've owned it for 11 years, and do all the work myself. This is the first unexpected issue it's given me in........140k? For a modified car, that's very acceptable. I just hate the timing of it.

The RX-7 is 1987 that's a relatively new purchase, and I'm going through it replacing all the old worn parts, so a lot of this is to be expected. It's modified, and wasn't as well maintained before I bought it so I can't be too surprised.

It's just annoying when it all takes place in a two week time frame.

What's your Mazda (Speed3??? :) ), and when are you getting a Miata already?

no no. mine is just a regular sedan. 2.0 L 4 cylinder 2007

I put the miata on hold bc I want to buy a house. house > car, assuming house appreciates. cars can only depreciate.

Holy balls, that is a lot of crap just piling up, man.

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Originally Posted by Peegee

cars can only depreciate.

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Unless you get a collector's car. :p

LOLWUT, the Bullock is here! Ohwai-

For the Moon, the answer is the same.

Wow, this bot got around fast. I think we should keep it for the comic relief.

It could be the forum's pet bot.

I want to keep him!

Recently, a friend asked me to take her to her mom's house after work. Her mom lives a block away from where I work. My home and my friend's home are a 30 minute drive away in five o'clock traffic. So I explain to her that I'm not willing to drive thirty minutes to her house, then back downtown, then back to my house because that is a ridiculous amount of gas, but if she wants to go with me in the morning on my way to work that would be okay. She says okay, and I should get there a little earlier than the time I first suggested because she has a lot of stuff. She always carries a crapton with her wherever she goes, so that's not unexpected. However it didn't occur to me that if she's actually warning me, it was probably really a lot of stuff. So I get to her house, and it turns out she's not just visiting her mom, she's moving in with her. So I'm packing everything in her room minus the furniture into my car. And I'm helping her move it into her mom's place. I am very late for work. And on the way to her mom's house she's like, "no offense, but I think it's wrong that people who work hard to get jobs don't get them while some people get them from friends." And I'm just like "but I did try hard, it just wasn't doing me any good :<"