Not quite as hard as nominating (Oh god, the nominating :nonono:), and probably not as anticipating as revelations, but a lot of work goes into these speeches and we should give credit where credit is due. All of these speeches were great, but which one was your favorite? PM me your choice and we'll declare the 2011 mid-year best Ciddies speech winner in a few days.
Best Member
Best MaleQuote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIIIHere we are again, exposing the best members of EoFF. Such a prestigious award, the most coveted of the lot, surely, and each year we are honored with the titillating presence of the finest members the forums have to offer. This year is no exception.
First up is Mr. Del Murder. They don't call him The Enforcer for nothing.
What can I say about Hypoallergenic Cactuar? He may seem like a small and fragile member, but his blog post count is well endowed.
Don't forget to mention my ninjaness! Jiro shouts from the shadows. This member is like a ninja, rarely seen but always ready for action.
Loony BoB is one of the oldest members, but that doesn't mean he can't keep up with the best of them. He's a solid poster. Rock hard, in fact.
Psychotic's posting style has gone rather limp lately, but there's nothing wrong with that. A lot of men suffer from posting-style dysfunction. I hear they make pills for that now.
Rantzien is the most productive of these members. When something needs doing he rolls up his sleeves and goes in hard and fast.
And let's not forget about ShlupQuack, the mightiest of these members. So mighty is she that her power practically penetrates you. Can you feel her there, her power throbbing within you?
Best FemaleQuote:
Originally Posted by Peegee""Best Male"" is at best, a misnomer. As a video game forum we all know that the media will only be video taping the female stars, possibly in their dressing rooms. In this broom closet however, we find gathered our gallant contestants. Let's be extra quiet, but who am I kidding? Security is suspiciously empty here. Perhaps they are hoping that somebody will come in and bludgeon the whole lot?
Why hello there. This is Ace reporter PG. How do you feel your chances fare...oh my. Ladies and gentlemen it appears Bunny has devoured fellow contestant Del Murder in a violent fit of rage. Well that's one way to get rid of competition. Let's move on.
Pacing back and forth, as it is waaaay past his bedtime, is fellow beard-deprived champion of bogan rights Jiro. Jiro tells me that prior to showing up for this competition he has prepared by washing his face with Dimoxinil (to keep his brain from freezing).
Jiro: you breathe a word of this and I'll cut you like a boat.
Um...moving on, we see Resident eternal newbie Wacky BoB on the cellphone. He seems relaxed and composed, but he seems to be hiding something. Let's listen in...
Loony BoB: I've seen people suck before, but these are the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
PG: Daniel Towns! Any words for your fans?
Loony BoB : Aw, I gotta go. These weiner kids are listening.
Complete disregard for the competition! He surely seems confident!
In this corner of the broom closet, we find huddled in a corner a pile of bodies. Why it's fellow CK contestant Wolf Kanno and retired but still active forum overlord Paul ""the psycho"". What do you have there?
Paul: I'm making a costume. Wanna see?
Oh my god. People of Eyes on Final Fantasy this was a bad idea. I need to get out of here. Tell Rantzien's friends and family he will be missed. Oh hi Julian. Put your beard in this wheelbarrow. We gotta go!
Best AdministratorQuote:
Originally Posted by RantzienFff I wanted to do Best Female but I couldn't think of a gimmick like I always do and I asked people for ideas and they were like ""hello kitty"" and I was like ""what how do I do a hello kitty speech."" but now I'm drunk and they still want me to make a speech cause nobody else is doing it.
brb googling party themes
okay LotR theme. here we go.
fire_of_avalon = Eowyn obviously. She has an armour and a sword and fights better twenty men. I think this is a defining scene from the movie:
Fujiko = Goldberry the river-woman's daughter. Married to To_Ombadil. Mysterious and also immortal. Coincidence? You decide.Quote:
Spammer: [taking foa by the throat] You fool. No man can ban me. Sign off now.
Foa: I am no man.
[she thrusts her sword into the spammer's helm and twists; he shrieks and implodes]
Jentleness = Galadriel obvi. Goddamn blondes. They're like, if I had your precious artefact I'd be completely terrible. But they're aleayd terrible. But they're pretty okay anyway.
rubah = Arwen female elf princess thing. She forsakes eternal life to be a hippie or something. isn't that what hapers?
Shiny = um, there are no black people in LotR? race is clearly the vital component here. I guess there is the haradrim guys... Shiny = oliphaunt? there.
ShlupQuack = Shelob. You know. The big spider in Cirith Ungol.
The Fresh Prince of Mel Air = Rose. She's that barmaid who can dance like she'son fire and punch you out if you get home late.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Wikipedia"ShelobQuack's lair was along the path that Jirodo and Guardiam XIIIgee took while travelling to the Staff Forum. Her spider-silk, which was spun in both rope and cobweb form, was strong and cleverly made, trapping those who walked into it. ShelobQuack had encountered Raistlum during his previous trip to Staff, and he apparently worshipped her after his fashion.
This was a summary of women. It was for an award. Award Guy should be able to fill you in on the details.
Best Cid's KnightQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroI like to think the Administrators are the guardians of EoFF. The Cid's Knights are the popular young faces, the leaders of tomorrow. They've had their time in the sun, and while they haven't stopped giving to the community, they're no longer getting the same recognition. The promotion to Admin reminds me, in a way, of the Best Referee award that my federation used to hand out. It was basically the award you gave as a final send off; ""Thank you for all the hard work, now you should retire.""
Of course our admins don't get to retire. They still work their ass off, with more responsibilities. When the forums go down, we all joke about who broke it, but the admins have to fix it. When tit goes down in EoEO, the admins have to keep a cool head. When things need to be implemented, names changed, birthdays set to the actual date because you joined when you were 10 you sneaky bugger, the admins have to do it.
I think all of our admins deserve a congratulations for the work they have done and continue to do. But because this is a popularity contest and there can be only one winner, it is up to us to decide which of our admins is the best at their job. Or at least who is the most popular.
Award Guy, let 'em have it!
Best Site StaffQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroIf I knew what being a Cid's Knight was all about, I would tell you. It's something that's going to take a while for me to figure out. I can tell you that the staff porn forum is amazing though, and it should be an aspiration of every EoFFers to see and contribute to that one day.
These are your nominees:
- fire_of_avalon
- Guardian XIII
- Jessweeee♪
- Jiro
- Levian
- Shiny
- Wolf Kanno
With the exception of me, who has only been in the job for a few weeks, everyone has done a great job behind the scenes trying to keep this forum sexy and awesome for all of you guys. You should see the list of banned bots, it's smurfing insane.
The same thing applies here as it does for the admins; everyone does such a good job and claps all round. You might think this is just a gay cop out but I think your face is a peanut and you should smurf right off because every CK is awesome.
Best Recognized Member / Former StaffQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroSite Staff has been terminated, but we still have to honour the services they have provided us. There's been an age old joke on EoFF; a joke that the Site Staff do nothing. Well that was certainly true for a while there, where Loony BoB pulled a President Madagascar and SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING.
Site Staff are coming back in a BIG WAY though, so don't worry everybody, we can still pretend to be funny!
Instead of doing a speech about something I really don't understand, let me leave you with this inspirational video.
Best VeteranQuote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuackIn the land that time forgot, on the streets of a city long ago swallowed by the sea, Agent Proto claims kinghood over the fish and the clams. The creatures of the deep pay him no heed as he makes his proclimations, spewing bubbles into the water, flailing his arms awkardly because water resistance will do that to you. DK warns him that he is surrounded by bad omens, but Ouch! rebuffs DK's concerns, whispering rumors of conspiracy in Agent Proto's ear. None of the three trust the sea stars, who seem to hide in dark corners, suctioned to the undersides of plinths and buttresses.
And they are right, for theundeadhero holds the loyalty of the sea stars, and he has ordered them to gather in great numbers south of the postern gate. They wait for Rye, but theundeadhero's patience wears thin, and the reef crabs bring rumors that Rye has run off with the mantatees, jeopardizing his victory over the self-proclaimed king.
In the darkest corners, unbeknownst to them all, the true ruler of the sunken kingdom watches. And waits. For she knows that they are all soon to run short of air, and then she will reign uncontested over the cold sea.
I've been reading Game of Thrones and listening to Nyan Cat at high volume for more than an hour, also things. That tit don't mix. nyan-nyan-nynynynynyny-nyan-nynynyan-nyan-nyan-nyan tally ho
Best RegularQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroFujiko
Iceglow
Mirage
Vivi22
What do these four names have in common? They all belong to some who is a veteran. Well according to Wikipedia, the most trusted source of information on the internet, a veteran (from Latin vetus, meaning ""old"") is an oldie.
Our veterans might be going gray, losing their hair, eye sight and forgetting where they put their cane down, but there is one thing they'll have forever - their join date, and the tale that goes with it.
June 14, 2005. It was a warm winter morning when Vivi22 found his way to Eyes on Final Fantasy. He had just beaten Final Fantasy VI and called his best friend TifaRox99 to tell her how fantastic the game was. TifaRox99 proceeded to tell him he was gay and would never eat a delicious muffin ever again. Outraged, Vivi22 joined EoFF and started his strong campaign of support for Final Fantasy VI. It has continued to this day.
February 3, 2003. Mirage fled his captors and arrived at Eyes on Final Fantasy. Who his captors were, we will never know. Why he was captured, we can only suspect. All we know is, Mirage has evaded them for the past 8 years successfully, and if any of you rat him out, you will probably wake up in a trash can with your shoes stolen. Mirage doesn't like shoes that much, but he likes the idea of you not having shoes a lot more. Moral of the story; don't smurf with Mirage. Best Mirage quote: ""I would lick Chimp's abs"".
August 10, 2005. Fujiko was playing in the forest, skipping along merrily. She encountered a house made of candy. She passed it by, which is fortunate because it collapsed shortly thereafter due to low structural integrity. Her skipping then brought her to trail of glitter leading into a clearing. Fujiko, ever the inquisitive, started eating the glitter. It had a sedative effect and she passed out in the clearing. When she woke up, she had been kidnapped by a kiwi who was playing martian music. I think that glitter was really drugs ladies and gentlemen.
December 14, 2002. Iceglow heard whispers on the wind; a console war was coming. He had been training for this day, and playing Final Fantasy in his free time. He decided to combine his interest and his destined task together, and so he came to Eyes on Final Fantasy, a warrior awaiting the day he might raise his axe and do battle. That day has come, and Iceglow continues to use his axe and masterful use of text to fatigue his opponent and then strike him down. Be warned when encountering him, for his charm may ensnare you and your mother.
Which of these veterans is the best? I cannot decide, Eyes on Final Fantasy. They are all deserving of such an award. They have proven themselves champions, and even in their old age they still struggle against time itself. Fight on, you golden geriatrics.
Best NewbieQuote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIIIThe Best Regulars of the Mid-year Ciddies. If EoFF were a bar you'd all be little Norm Petersons.
Sexiest MaleQuote:
Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince of Mel AirAww man... I'm no longer a Newbie. *sadface* NAW! Just kidding! I'm glad I'm not a n00b anymore! Being a newbie was the worst time in my life. I always felt left out and, well, new. Now I'm a seasoned Regular. /smug Now, that being said, i'd like to take a moment to yell at all the people who ever come to EoFF, stayed for a few days, then never came around again. WTF is your problem? Were we not GOOD enough for you?
Okay. Back to the newbies... It's not time to introduce your nominations for the Best!
Caelheim- I'm not sre what to say because I don't even know who this person is. But thanks for joining and staying around long enough to be nominated! Two thumbs up!
Hypoallergenic Cactuar- Oh... OH! I know this one, though! Our very own cactuar allergy friendly member :love:
ScottyRedXIII- It seems that Scotty DOES know *budum tish* No? Nothing? Well, I thought it was funny. Good luck to you! Red is my favorite color and 13 is my lucky number!
Shaibana- Oh what is there even to say about Shibana? No like, really. What am I supposed to say? Welcome to the forums and before you know it you will also be a Regular so stick around!
TrollHunter- I hold a lot of love in my heart for TrollHunter. It takes a REAL man to hunt trolls, espically on the internet ;)
But there can only be one, and that one is...
Sexiest FemaleQuote:
Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince of Mel AirOH MAN! This is what I come to EoFF for. All the steamy guys *drools* Hopefully I dont get to distracted while writing this speech. Or, I might that the easy route and just post pictures of thee nominees....
Chimp
http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot..._6995413_n.jpg
Del Murder
http://a4.l3-images.myspacecdn.com/i...0f698fa5/m.jpg Jus to be clear. i could not find a picture of him but I think this most closely resembles him
Jiro
http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot..._6547210_n.jpg
Levian
http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot..._6468601_n.jpg
The Man
http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot...538_1354_n.jpg
Alright! Now it's up to you America... Er... EoFF rather.
Cutest FemaleQuote:
Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince of Mel AirNow what could be sexier then the guys on this site? THE WOMEN! That's who. Nothing is hotter than a sexy female who is also a gamer! And we have a tight race for who is the hottest amung us. Let's get to it then:
fire_of_avalon- FoA oh FoA... ... ... sorry lost my train of thought.
Fujiko- Oh Fujiko! You are indeed a woman after my heart.
Shiny- I guess Katy Perry was right about California girls ;)
ShlupQuack- I just... She's so... there are no words for how beautiful she is
Shorty- OH my goodness. My eyes have fogged over... give me a second...
smittenkitten- smitten? more like sexkitten :D
Best Custom RankQuote:
Originally Posted by Demon DudeThese women are dangerous. They hold a power not known to many, the power to make you melt with one glance, or stop you in your tracks. All these women are fine examples of elegance, beauty, and most importantly, have a very high n'awwwww factor. It also happens that this award is steeped in history of cattyness and bitch-fighting. It's held in high regard by many vagina-people all over the land. Here is an example of our very own Freya, when she discovered she missed out on this award.
http://i898.photobucket.com/albums/a..._7405724_n.jpg
That's right. Pure horror. I asked her who she thought should win. She remained still. Tragic really.
The moral? Kaycee is jealous and a ho.
Best AvatarQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroOtherwise known as the best tits award, the Best Custom Title Ciddie is given to the person who is creative and humorous. We have some pretty good entries (so many entries!) so I am going to make a little tale out of them.
Mold Anus the Chocobo was out one day when he found a letter in invisible ink. He was really smart, that's how he knew what was going on. Anyway, the letter said ""Trapped in custom title factory, please send help."" Being a heroic Chocobo, Mold Anus recruited his best pal Ninjadong to go and rescue the trapped person. Ninjadong was always looking to increase his reputation, and so we'll the two were hurrying to the custom title factory, Ninjadong kept shouting ""Will sex for rep!"" but thankfully none of that business happened. :|
When the arrived, they found the nefarious Dr who was all ""Mmm child you dun did it"". Neither Ninjadong nor Mold Anus knew what the smurf was going on.
""Hey you, evil villain!"" Mold Anus said in his best hero voice. ""Let her go!""
""Enforcer? I hardly know her!"" Dr replied.
""Makes no sense dude,"" Ninjadong replied. ""Will sex for rep.""
""Shut up Ninjadong,"" Mold Anus replied. ""I will defeat you, Dr, for it is my density!""
""Makes no sense dude,"" Ninjadong said.
Dr then said ""Talk nerdy to me"" as she revealed herself to be a woman. Ninjadong and Mold Anus creamed themselves because a girl spoke to them.
The End.
The actual Titles
Del Murder: Enforcer? I hardly know her!
Guardian XIII: Talk nerdy to me
Jiro: Ninjadong
Loony BoB: Chocobo
Old Manus: Mold Anus
o_O: i n v i s i b l ehttp://dl.dropbox.com/u/3451091/t.gif
Psychotic: Trapped in custom title factory, please send help.
Rantzien: Will sex for rep
Shiny: Mmm child u dun did it
ShlupQuack: It is My Density
"Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent ProtoIs it time for the award for Best Avatar? Why yes, yes it is, and this Ciddies, we have seven amazing nominees with amazing avatars. Some are classics, and others are pretty damn cool. Let's take a look at our amazing avatars starting off with...
http://forums.eyesonff.com/user/avat...tar1390_43.gif
Del Murder
- Del Murder's avatar of Sonny Corleone is one hell of a classic. Never has been changed, though it has been altered several times due to special events, one can easily identify Del Murder simply by this avatar.
http://forums.eyesonff.com/user/avat...tar9192_49.gif
fire_of_avalon
- This stylized close-up of Samus Aran is pretty awesome and a true representation of foa's badassness, or BAMFness as she would like to call it. It's quite new, but if she sticks to it long enough, we may start associating foa as Samus, or something like that. It truly is badass like our lovely fire_of_avalon.
http://forums.eyesonff.com/images/av...thumbs/166.gif
Loony BoB
- You can never go wrong with the first ever avatar that you had during your forums life. Loony BoB has stuck with the same old 60x60 avatar of the yellow Chocobo from the good olden days when members had to wait till they had 1000 posts to start using custom avatars. BoB rarely posted in his true newbie days to keep this avatar around until it was decided that we could use custom avatars from the start. Enough of that story, but his avatar is what makes him him, and we can't go wrong with that. It's another classic avatar to boot.
http://forums.eyesonff.com/user/avat...ar11266_17.gif
nik0tine
- OH MY GOD WHAT THE smurfIN' HELL IS THAT THING?! IT'S LIKE STARING AT ME AND FREAKING ME THE smurf OUT. BURN IT WITH FIRE AND LET IT DIE!!!! ##!@#@!%!#@
http://forums.eyesonff.com/user/avat...tar7490_20.gif
NorthernChaosGod
- Who doesn't love animated sprites? I love them, and NCG's current avatar from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is pure awesome. Just. Awesome.
http://forums.eyesonff.com/user/avat...atar549_59.gif
Peegee
- Poor Pikachu. I'm sure some people love the idea of seeing a roadkill Pikachu on the road, so this is a pretty nice avatar for Peegee to use. I approve and hopefully others do too!
http://forums.eyesonff.com/user/avat...ar16811_11.gif
Pike
- And finally we have this... I'll just post this here image to help me out for this awesome avatar.
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk...e7n1o1_400.png
Best Signature
Best ArtistQuote:
Originally Posted by Agent ProtoNext up we have the award for Best Signature. This time around we have ten nominees with signatures that caught the attentions of others. What got them nominated? Perhaps its how pretty it looks, or the wittiness behind the signature. Or maybe it's because it's awesome? Let's take a look at each nominee... Each behind a spoiler! (No links included!)
"Baloki"
- According to Baloki, foa is the new Chuck Norris. Thus his signature provides many examples of ""true"" FOA facts. Quite amazing, but can it roundhouse kick me in the face? Apparently not. :aimsun:
"Del Murder"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...murder/del.gif
Proud to be the Official Secret Illegal Enforcer at Eyes on Final Fantasy!
Some days it all falls into place, but others feel like it piles up with no end in sight.
-Antonicles
- Del Murder's signature is as much of a classic as his avatar. He haven't changed it ever since he first had it up, except during special events, but that's pretty rare. The image is also pretty cool. It's like a movie poster for Del Murder.
"eternal essence"
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b2...nasig2copy.jpg
Send me a song from the cloud that you're on
- I'm not really sure who the the girl is, but she is cute and the signature is bright and colorful, thus making it very eye-catching. :)
"Jiro"
http://i54.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:...u:/30922c0.pnghttp://i56.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:...u:/21ooaqd.png
-First up, DO AN EXTREME WHEELIE... And next is NCG being the knob jockey. I get the first joke, but the second is lost on me, but I'm sure it isn't on several people who may have voted for this.
"KaiserDragon"
- KD sure loves his dragon. :rolleyes:
"Loony BoB"
- The eyes, do they bother you? Of course it doesn't, but it's pretty nifty to look at. Plus, it's Marvin the Martian, and who doesn't love him? Isn't it delightful? Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board!
"nik0tine"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...nikeditsig.jpg
- It's bright yellow, and quite stylized. Perhaps it is memorable because it's one of the first signatures that catches your attention because of how bright it is on several of the forums skins.
"Pike"
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...ghosthouse.gif
MEANWHILE, in MILF & Pike's videogame blog...
- Ah... nostalgia gaming at its finest. Who doesn't look watching a giant Boo circling around a haunted mansion from Super Mario World? I could watch this for ages and still enjoy it. <3
"Rantzien"
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/729269/Images/whalesig.png
- Rantz's signature is quite an amazing piece of art of a whale. It's very pretty and worth looking at. If this won, it would be because of its artistic value.
"Shiny"
- *insert naughty joke here* :jokey:
Best WriterQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroThe best days of the Best Artist Ciddie speech was when Psychotic, Cz and Rantzien would sit around the coffee table and discuss the artwork like they really knew what was going on. It was the best of times. Sadly that doesn't happen any more, and nobody has stepped up to take their mantel. I implore you to hook up with some buddies and discuss art in the most ridiculous way you can.
Jirito
This is her most recent artwork and I have to admit, I think my nomination was because people thought I was her.
Loony JosH
Loony JosH is brother to BoB and he seems to have a bit more artistic talent than his brother, going off this recent picture.
black orb
black orb is the long time champion of this category, and when you look at his work, you can see why.
novaheaven
novaheaven is a pretty phenomenal artist, as you can see, but being a pretty fresh member, hasn't got the following yet. Might be an upset though!
eternal essence
This is in no way ee's best work, but I love making biscuits, and I feel that this sig captures that perfectly.
Jiro
Somehow I made it in here. This is one of my favourite things I've made, being simple and kind of cool.
Pete for President
Another long time champ, Pete for President has recently turned his hand to music but his artwork proves to be good no matter the style. Make sure you get the free album download!
Best PosterQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroTo me, the Best Writer Ciddie is the person whose work has entertained the most people. But that's not where it ends. The Best Writer should also be judged on consistency and effort, as well as their skills. If any of you had been to the Writer's Corner since Eyes on Effef started, you would see a couple of bumped threads belonging to Guardian XIII and I, all of which are half started pieces that we've not had the time, effort or desire to go back to. They aren't masterpieces, either.
Now I have worked very closely with Guardian XIII and can assure you that he is a talented individual. He has great ideas, and he translates them to paper rather well. He can edit that into great stuff as well. Out of the three of us, he is the most deserving winner. But you guys have nominated and voted for him based on this one thing you read a while back. I'm sure you would nominate Psychotic for Rantzien's Adventure if it weren't for the fact that Guardian XIII is the shiny new kid on the block.
As for I'm my own MILF, he is a remarkably talented man in multiple facets. I have not, however, actually read any creative work he has written. I do remember reading his description of a dream city, and that took my breath away, but that was at least a year ago and so falls outside the boundaries stipulated by these Ciddies. Whoever nominated him obviously has read something of his and knows how talented he is. I have two problems with this: 1) where the smurf are you reading this because I want to; and 2) because nothing is public, how the smurf is he supposed to get votes?
I'm not even going to bother discussing my work. I have not even put the same amount of time and effort into my creative works as I have into this speech, which tells you a lot about my motivation. That is dreadful.
You are all horrible people. If you had any sense you would have nominated Del Murder for his one-off ""Look I made something cute"" post which actually was in the last six months or Mawir, who has consistently posted new work, and whose only posts are devoted to new works.
Try again next Ciddies EoFF, and let's hope you can get it right.
Best SpammerQuote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIIIA lot of people think toasters are just silly little household appliances and that all they're good for is making delicious, buttery toast.
Hmm... I don't really know where I was going with that.
At any rate, you people seem to think that there needs to be a best toaster award, and I drew the short straw on writing a speech for it. Like wtf, best toaster? Whatever, here goes.
You can spend a lot more for a two-slice toaster, but reviewers say the highly rated KitchenAid KTT340 has all the essentials, including a bagel function that toasts on the cut side and gently warms on the outside. Wowee!
The Cuisinart CPT-120 is an inexpensive toaster that earns kudos for its compact design and ease of cleaning. It toasts well, consistently producing crunchy, not dry, bread and bagels even on lower settings. Can you contain your excitement? I know I can't!
The two-slice Breville BTA820XL gets great reviews from experts and users for its good-looking brushed-metal finish, nifty lift-and-look feature, which allows you to check on the toasting process without interrupting the
You know what, brb suicide.
Best ChatterQuote:
Originally Posted by Demon Dudehttp://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IKUzXWYzNX...nimal_5_49.jpg
http://www.lazypalace.com/img/nature...-species01.jpg
http://mbreneiser.edublogs.org/files...it-1dxtgrq.jpg
http://i898.photobucket.com/albums/a..._7405724_n.jpg
Over to you, Award guy.
Best Visitor MessagerQuote:
Originally Posted by The Fresh Prince of Mel AirNow I fell as if EoFF chat is very over looked. Which is a shame because us chat goers are very friendly and awesome to talk to. Every once in a while we will get fresh meat, or I mean... <_< a new member, but for the most part they don't really stay around. So for those of us that actually put time into getting to know our fellow eoffers in real time, THIS is for you! *tips glass* But who may you ask is the best? Well that's up to you to decide.
Jentleness- Jen is souring high at the top of the charts! #eoff statistics created by Loony BoB (with a little help from mIRCStats v1.22 :) Way to be dedicated!
Mirage- Mirage used to be not as active but he has turned a new leaf. I quite enjoy chatting with him!
Roogle- Roogle! He has been a supurb chatter from the beginning. Or, at least, since I've been there. PS Next year lets try to get him for Sexiest Male ;)
Rye- Uhh. What? Rye doesn't even go into chat...
The Fresh Prince of Mel Air- Oh Yes BY FAR the best Chatter! <_< Closing in quickly for first in the stats! She was first until someone *cough BoB cough* messed up.
But again... There is only room for one in the winners circle!
Best BloggerQuote:
Originally Posted by You'll just have to guess!The Best User Noter Award. Or Visitor Messager. I can never remember which. It occurred to me that the best way to do a speech for this award was to be completely self centred and talk about my personal conversations with each of the nominees!
Christmas and I have talked about asian women going pew pew! We also discussed the wonderful warm feeling that you get from spreading HATE around, passing it on to each and every person you meet. There was also that glittery dancer that everybody seemed to get for New Years. You can pull Christmas up on originality, but damn does she get around. In a good way, of course.
Jiro and I have talked about a lot of things. The first thing was whether this made him insane. He really wanted to know if he could be the Brad Pitt to my Edward Norton, but I told him he couldn't be either and to go back in the hole. We also like to discuss fine australian culture, food and where that dingo got to with my baby. I tell you what though, he has a habit of forgetting to respond so I have to slap him around a bit.
I Don't Need A Name and I have discussed things like how to become a rockstar (tip: you just learn to suckup) and quality video gaming on the ps3. We have also discussed the notable absence of Quin on the forums and are plotting a way to return him. I don't know if jelly down his pants will work, but let's cross our fingers and hope for the best. Also I'm under the impression most of you don't spend much time chatting with IDNAN. You should rectify this (I love the word rectify!).
Psychotic and I used to usernote about things but then he got too school for cool and doesn't respond :( But I had fun talking about unicorns of death and having him tell me I am wrong. On the upside he isn't completely horrible. We did talk about Barry Burton and how amazing it is to punch and kick wholes in african zombies. But it's not racist okay. HOUSE ON FIYAH!
Now I know I voted for the user noter who gave me the most joy and sadly it wasn't Psychotic but that doesn't mean he can't win! Let's see some results!
Best ThreadQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroSo I am without my trusty sidekick for this speech. I had considered trying to imitate him and fool you all, but I realised I am not quite talented enough to pull that off.
Blogging is pretty new to EoFF, so this will be the first time we crown the bestest bloggerer of 'em all. As it's such a new award, it's kind of hard to know what criteria you're trying to hit. It's not like funniest member where all you have to do is be so funny that everyone spits juice at their screen. Nothing is quite as funny as losing the funniest member ciddie because everyone who was going to vote for you has to buy a new laptop.
Anyway back to the task at hand. Blogging hasn't been paid too much attention unfortunately, but thankfully we have a nice spread of uses from our three nominees.
First up is Hypoallergenic Cactuar. His most recent blog is about trying to establish a Viera fan club. I want to know what sort of benefits I would get from joining this club, because having everyone know I am sexually attracted to girls who actually have bunny ears would be hard to explain. He also wrote a blog about being trapped in the freezer for half an hour as a tornado cruised past his Mickey Ds store. I shouldn't find that funny, but I do!
Yeargdribble is our most serious blogger, dealing with important topics. His most recent blog discusses differences between ""gifts"" and ""skills that you got from workin' real hard like"". He's a talented musician it seems, but obviously works very hard to get to the level he's at. In another blog he ""reviews"" some games, a book, and some other general discussion. The comments at the bottom are huge until you see mine. How disappointing.
The last blogger is ShlupQuack. Her most recent blog is about how she's smurfing loaded and has servants, maids and a pool boy (who is apparently Laddy). I thought she just liked visiting Disney Land, but she probably owns it too. It is Disney Land and not World right? I can never remember the difference. In her other blog she continues the discussion of a horrendous series of zombie books. Her review of them is fantastic and to wrap this speech up I will leave you with a quote from it:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShluppersThe basic story takes place maybe almost thirty years after the first one. Stupid Whore is grown up and has a daughter of her own. Stupid Whore Junior is the opposite of her mother--she doesn't give a smurf about traveling to another place just for the hell of it, doesn't think it's a good idea to run through zombie territory for any reason, and she's blond. Her friends try and convince her to hop the fence with them to hang out at the abandoned amusement part, to which she says smurf that... until the boy she likes asks her to come.
So she does. And they all die. Because you don't hop the smurfing zombie fence, you smurfing retards.
Best PostQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroI nominated last Ciddies' revelations as the best thread. Why? Because it is. It has everything. People show their true colours, and post with complete freedom. Everything goes in the Ciddies Revelations, and you see some of the most hilarious, smurfed up, sleep depraved posts, and that's just me!
I wonder if, by the time this speech is aired, I've gone insane and posted google images for every award? I hope so. Good times, friends, good times.
The Ciddies is the thing that brings us all together over a mutual hatred of Psychotic sweeping the Ciddies. He does it every year, but we can still enjoy ourselves. So next Ciddies, nominate this Ciddies as the best thread so I don't feel like a complete loser.
Funniest MemberQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroWe have a nice spread of posts for Best Post. I mean, it's not often that you see a legitimate awesome post in the way of FFXII = Star Wars accompanied by a YOUR MOM joke by Psychotic instead of the usual Iceglow (whose mother is probably ashamed of his disrespect towards all mothers everywhere). Alongside that is a post by Bunny in which he tries to defend my honour and successfully repealed my banning. Gotta love him for that. Last but not least Jessweeee♪ tries to turn us all of sex forever. It had the desired effect on me, however a few of the other posters in that thread seemed to get their rocks off to it. smurfing disturbing.
http://randomthoughts.ws/files/Pineapple_Head_7.jpg
Weirdest MemberQuote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIIIWe have a lot of funny members here at EoFF, and each one has their own style of cracking jokes. Bunny, with his surly disposition and negative but hilarious comments on all the things you love. Del Murder and his... his uh... he's pretty funny too. foa pretending that she'll kick your ass, and how funny it still is when it turns out she wasn't pretending. Jiro's ADD style, and how he's always downing on himself just to make you laugh. Are you not entertained? Old Manus and his simple one liners that usually speak more truth than joke. And then there's Psychotic, who will emasculate and tear you to shreds just for his own, and often many others', amusement.
So yeah, where was I going with that?
"Quote:
Originally Posted by JiroA collection of weird tit:
Alive-Man
http://burndownblog.files.wordpress....480967c_01.jpg
Hypoallergenic Cactuar
http://theaudracatalog.com/home/wp-c...be-cured12.jpg
Iceglow
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VhCwVLuxmb...dddddddddd.jpg
Peegee
YouTube - Japanese Police against Darth Vader
Psychotic
YouTube - Wanderlei / Coleman Shaving!!
Roogle
http://l.yimg.com/ea/img/-/101014/a_...f4-16bd1f7.jpg
Most Informative Member
Jiro
"Most Productive MemberQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroBeing the most informative member, in my mind, means that you actually have to get your information across. That is, of course, after you a) have information people actually care about and b) try to communicate it in the first place.
That basically leaves this as a two horse race between Loony BoB and Rantzien. Let me tell you what has excluded the other nominees first and foremost.
crono_logical - Crono doesn't really post that much. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's come back in time :hahaha: for the Ciddies, but being the new Christmas doesn't really qualify you as ""informative"".
Iceglow - As part of a campaign to try and help the forum tackle Iceglow's posts, I recently started culling his posts at 50 words. That was a whole lot of effort, and ShlupQuack's suggestion to ""sum it up in 5 words"" was just as much hard work. It's a lonely world, being one of only two people who actually read Iceglow's posts (the second being his mother).
o_O - I would listen to everything he has to say if he does it just like this.
Wolf Kanno - Wolf Kanno is a lot like Iceglow without the references to your mother. Now let me explain before he stabs me. His posts are long and often contain good information, just not presented in a way that encourages people to read them (refer to the part where they are long). However he does make shorter posts occasionally which might actually put him in with a shot.
Yeargdribble - Posting primarily in EoEO is not good for you either because the only people who read your posts are people who want to argue with you and rip out your spleen. Not necessarily in that order either. I don't spend much time in EoEO either.
The other two - Do they post things that anyone else is interested in? Well that's for you to decide. I know I read their posts because they are bite sized and informative.
Most Underrated MemberQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroLet me try and play this one straight because I have some ideas on what people have actually done.
Baloki - He's been a driving force behind getting tit done for a while. You might think ""oh look at him he's a fox yiff yiff"" but you underestimate the work ethic this man has. He's gotten stuck into working on the front site along with a few others, and man if they all keep this up we should be looking at a brand spanking new front site very shortly. But seriously Baloki is always bitching about wanting to do things.
I'm my own MILF - This guy has written books and conquered the world and the stars in a variety of games and also his head using his skills at war. He has a degree in that tit too btw (war, not games) and he was like top of the class or something. Respect him or die basically. But seriously how he manages to do all of this and update his joint blog with Pike will never cease to amaze me. He's already a smurfing robot, ignore what he says about it being his dream.
Jiro - Aww tit. I once updated the wiki? :jess:
Marshall Banana - This chika has helped revive a lot of the styles, and was pretty damn useful in the vB4 move. As far as I'm aware, she's pretty clued on with what is happening over on that previously mentioned front site too, so she's helping out there as well. All this and still has time to eat sweet sweet strawberries.
Rantzien - If I copy pasted the above section, the only thing that would be incorrect would be the references to she. Rantzien is doing a lot on the front site and helping with styles too. In addition he helped with all those name changes when I ""made"" that ""event"" earlier. Extreme Wheelie is still a superior name. But seriously I don't know what else to tell you. He has his fingers in a lot of pies but it's not disgusting or creepy?
I trust you have all voted for the right person. I dunno who that is though. Just not me!
Most Improved MemberQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroIt has been said before, but the Most Underrated Award is a bit of a cop out. You can't win this award and be underrated. Not being nominated is the way to win, really. But that tit is too meta for my head, so we'll try and keep this simple.
I'm here to tell you a couple of reasons why these people are awesome. We only have three nominees this time around. What does that say about them? Well I guess they are super underrated then.
First up we have Baloki. Now I'm pretty sure the two nominees of Baloki were Baloki and myself. Why did I nominate him? Apart from tits and giggles, it was mostly because, being a staff member now, I can see how much he complains about wanting to get things done. He tries, man. And he's actually far cooler than you would expect.
Next is blackmage_nuke. I feel for this guy. He's won this award about a million times, it's his thing. But the award is a kick in the balls. I think what needs to happen is that people actually RATE HIM AS HE DESERVES, which is highly. In fact I motion that blackmage_nuke takes my place as a Cid's Knight, the guy is way cooler than me and you people JUST CAN'T SEE IT.
Laddy is last up but Laddy is not the least underrated member. Or something. smurf I've confused myself now. But anyway. Did you know Laddy is a talented actor? I bet you didn't, because you are all idiots who don't pay attention. He also has pretty cool taste in music and, as we all can appreciate, looks like Robert Plant.
These members are underrated because of us. It's our fault. So everybody needs to look in the mirror, pull an angry face and tell yourself not to be such a dick and value people the way they should be. And then wink and hit on yourself, just to smurf with your own head ;)
Most Missed MemberQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroI was going to take each member's first post and compare it to their latest post at time of writing, but I stumbled upon a few snags.
First of all was the fact that these are supposed to be representative of the past six months. Can anybody noticeably improve in that short period of time short of, y'know, no longer being Peegee? That's one you can all debate in EoEO.
Secondly, Baloki is still a furry, Cuch is still drunk, Hypo Cactuar is still Hypo and half the forum is unfamiliar with KaiserDragon, a fact which you should all be ashamed of. Not just like ""oh no I'm sorry"" ashamed, but ""I will forever repent for this gross misdeed, please don't smite me"" ashamed. Be warned :argh:
So how are we measuring how improved they are? It stands to reason that we should have some sort of criterion (Note: Criterion is the word you use when you want everyone to know you're too smart to use the word criteria, or something. I actually have no idea of the definition, save me Batman) with which to judge this competition.
My original thought was to get them to fight to the death, but I feel this is an unfair advantage to Cuchulainn who is a natural born brawler. KaiserDragon might also surprise us with his command over an impressive number of dragons. Mmmm, crispy.
My next idea was to simply graph the number and quality of posts each member has made in the last six months. When I realised that Hypoallergenic Cactuar has made precisely 2130 posts since January 1 this year, I scrapped that idea and decided to move onto the failsafe.
The failsafe is to bulltit for long enough that it looks like I've written a full sized speech and leave all the hard work to Award Guy. Peace off.
Most Hardcore GamerQuote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuackOh, Clo... One of the few females around here whose wit was on par with her looks. And I'm not calling the other females around here dumb, just ugly. Okay, not really, but I'm trying to think of something nice to say about Clo when I'm not very good at complimenting people so cut me some slack. We like her. She brings us cat-related humor, and that never goes unappreciated.
Demon Dude is back. So smurf all.
I see eestlinc on Facebook all the time, so you should all know that he mostly abandoned us for no good reason at all. Also, he stood me up for a date once. I think that was the same day I ate sushi off tiny boats, though, so it turned out okay. I don't even know what it is we all like about this guy, but we just go right on liking him anyway, because he's so... likable. But now he's all educated and tit and, as such, he is a dead.
Resha has always managed to stay cool while seeming to fly under the radar. Let's be honest, Resha is too cool for this award.
Will you smurfs get over RSL already? Hasn't he been gone longer than he was here yet?
It's hard to miss Rye when you know she's going to come back any day now. She is. Right? ...Right?
Most Helpful GamerQuote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIIIWhat makes a person a gamer? What makes them hardcore gamers? I remember Tavrobel said something along the lines of If you don't play computer games, you're not a hardcore gamer.
I disagree. I think there's quite a bit more to being a hardcore gamer. Playing computer games religiously certainly helps, but it just doesn't seem like it's enough. There's got to be more to it. Perhaps... perhaps the only way to describe what I'm feeling is through
Song
Basement dwelling virgins :smug:ing at their free online PS3s
Ragesmashed controllers at red-ringed 360s
Brown cardboard boxes stamped with Warranty
These are a few hardcore gamer-like things
Halo v. Call of Duty and Microsoft v. Sony
Heated fanboy arguments, both sides claiming superiority
And throughout all this there's no love for the Wii
These are a few hardcore gamer-like things
Dungeon tans in the middle of summer
Blisters on trigger fingers, man that's a bummer
Staying up all night to play Final Fantasy
These are a few hardcore gamer-like things
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember all the hardcore gamer-like things
And then I take a handful of
Prooooooo-zaaaaaaaaac
Most Helpful TechyQuote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIIIBud LightEyes on Final Fantasy presents Real Men ofGeniusGaming.
Reeeeal men of gaaaaamiiinng.
Today we salute you, Mr. or Mrs. Most Helpful Gamer.
Mr. or Mrs. Most Helpful Ga-a-mer!
There's nothing quite like getting lost in a dark area in Tomb Raider and stumbling into the home of an angry animal.
Where'd that tiger come from?
But there you are, Mr. or Mrs. Most Helpful Gamer, ready to lift the controller from our trembling hands and defeat the terrifying monster with ease.
Look out, it's right behind you!
What's the Konami code?
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A-AAAAAAAA!
So crack open an ice coldBud LightCiddie, Mr. or Mrs. Most Helpful Gamer. You beat the bosses we can't, and we have no problem taking the credit for it.
Mr. or Mrs. Most Helpful Ga-a-mer.
Most Helpful MemberQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroI didn't have any ideas for this speech, so I just googled Techy. I eventually stumbled upon a video of a guy doing tricks on a finger skateboard, also known as Tech Decks.
So I decided that we'd look at this award from a skateboarding angle. You know, just to switch things up a bit.
First we have Rantzien, in traditional viking skateboarder garb.
http://www.berkshirehistory.com/kids...ng_onboard.gif The axe and shield were necessary, as viking skateboard competitions allowed the beheading of the opposition. What a bloodthirsty sport! The vikings were the first to think about wearing helmets though.
Next is crono_logical. I dunno what he looks like, but I imagine a little something like this.
http://www.imageenvision.com/150/430...4-by-julos.jpg He has inbuilt safety gear because one time :hahaha: he fell off while trying to pull a Japan Air and injured himself. Having safety gear grafted into his body was the only logical :hahaha: thing to do.
o_O wasn't available for a photo op so I got a different kind of bird.
http://funtimebirdy.files.wordpress....pg?w=300&h=210 While not a kiwi, this bird still shows that feathered folk can skate with the best of them. Of course kiwis don't have wings that work, so there's no advantage gained there. Just for show, really.
Marshall Banana is female and apparently there is only one girl skater on the internet.
http://sflchronicle.com/wp-content/u...skateboard.jpg I guess she must be like the female Tony Hawk or something. Tanya Hawk. Seriously, so many pictures of her. I'm sure the headphones really help when she's trying to acid drop from heaven. I had no jokes there I'm really sorry for that.
So which of these four is the best skater? I don't think we'll ever find out, but we can see whose fingers are the best (at tech stuff, not finger skateboards. Or anything else you disgusting creeps!).
Cutest CoupleQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroI wasn't nominated for this award. I guess I'm just not helpful enough, huh. Well let's see how these members have helped me!
Bunny - Bunny should probably win this award for rescuing me from bandom. He helped a brother out when everyone else was just going ""huh what is going on I do not understand what is the going on please to be telling me what is going on jiro ban what"". Bunny is a man of action. ACTION BUNNY. (I googled that term and it came up with a lot of nsfw stuff.)
crono_logical - crono_logical might not have ever helped me directly, but his name is a brilliant pun and his tech skillz have undoubtedly been helpful to people in the past. However this award is all about how people have helped me and so crono loses. I'm sure he'll get over if in time. :hahaha:
Guardian XIII - Alright so G-Man is probably up there alongside Bunny as a winner. This man has saved my bacon and saved my life a multitude of times. I don't know about you guys but I smurfing love my bacon so him saving it was just a blessing. Did you know one time he just woke up and punched a burglar in the face while stretching? Even unconscious this guy protects my bacon.
Loony BoB - Loony BoB once gave me a list of posting statistics for every month since like the beginning of time. That was pretty helpful, and I applaud him for that, but it's no bacon saving face shooping performance. Still, for an old timer he does pretty well ya know?
Marshall Banana - She doesn't even like bacon so unless she brings Mog's Fantasy back then I will never support her winning this award :colbert:
Rantzien - Oh god how many nominees are there? Trying to think of times that Rantzien has helped me. It's shameful because I know he has done so many times, I just can't think of them. Well let's say that Rantzien is your undercover hero who is always there helping you without you realising it and so he should probably get nominated for Most Underrated member too.
Wolf Kanno - Let me tell you a story. Actually scrap that, I don't have the time. But imagine I told you a story about Wolf Kanno. He risked life and limb, leapt tall buildings and wrestled prehistoric animals, all to save my bacon. He hasn't done that yet but he's come close and this is why he is nominated. Until he actually saves my bacon though...
Let me leave you with this video of bacon like you've never seen it before. And and it's not a video of a pig either you unfunny morons :colbert: (jk ilu all)
"Quote:
Originally Posted by JiroThis is the Cutest Couple speech. Because I couldn't be bothered asking every couple for a photo of themselves, I searched using the handy term ""cute couple"" and got some random images to represent them for me. I think I did a pretty good job actually :shobon:
o_O and Fujiko
http://data.whicdn.com/images/106375...jpg?1307662063
Now something you may not know is that Face is a kiwi. This means that, pulsing throughout his veins is the blood of a warrior. As such, he takes what he wants and as you can see in this photo, his spoils are a maiden known as Fujiko. What you don't know about Fujiko is that she's a Swede and Sweden obviously has a lot of fields. Now I don't know why Fujiko is letting the warrior kidnap her but they look pretty happy about it, and that's endearing. Plus Fujiko made kiwi cupcakes, how smurfing adorable is that.
Guardian XIII and EllieButton
http://data.whicdn.com/images/106610...jpg?1307731729
This guy's facial expression and beard remind me of Guardian XIII. He's all like ""yeah bitches look I have a sweet girlfriend aw yeah suck it"". Don't ask me about the hat thing though, G13 has better taste in headwear than that (see: Fett mask). And well EllieButton has a hat on because it obscures her face and I dunno what this girl looks like but you can bet she's cute. Also she is achieving what I imagine 90% of this forum, myself included, have dreamed about; putting one on the cheek of sir G13. It would be heavenly!
Loony BoB and smittenkitten
http://data.whicdn.com/images/110279...jpg?1308607494
smittenkitten really likes taking photos. I can tell because she used to post a lot of them on EoFF before she got bored of us creeps hitting on her. I can still tell because I stalk her on facebook. For the right price I can hook a brother up, so drop me a PM and we'll talk. Anyway, as for Loony BoB, he likes to pop up in the background of these photos like a creeper even though he is a sweetheart. But a creepy sweetheart. He didn't have his trademark facial hair in the original photo so I added it in here.
I'm my own MILF and Pike
http://data.whicdn.com/images/108734...jpg?1308259699
Now I know Pike has a little bit of an interest in things that are steampunk and while I couldn't find anything that fit that I figured yeah record players are cool and that would satisfy. I reckon these two would probably get a kick out of dressing a little bit old school and having a picnic in what appears to be a dirt lot. Well, wherever you can find I suppose. Plus, suspenders, I mean I reckon the good MILF would rock a pair of those.
Rantzien and Shorty
http://data.whicdn.com/images/108103...jpg?1308091370
I had trouble deciding between the shown picture and this one. Reasons for picking the first: I bet these two just act like little kids always laughing and having fun. Like that time Rantzien tried to *snip*. But the second picture just oozes Rantzien in my mind. I mean look that guy is a giant and is trying to just climb into her clothes and nest. That's something he would do. By the way, Shorty is mine what are you doing get your paws off her you viking. Ahem, I mean, carry on.
Del Murder and Miriel
http://data.whicdn.com/images/955800...jpg?1304829854
Picking an image for these two was harder than all the rest. I don't know what that says about them, but it should say something positive. It definitely wasn't because I hit about 50 pages of Justin Bieber and someone else pictures, no not at all. Daddy Del likes to talk about how his relationship with (Mama) Miriel is just absolutely perfect and I don't doubt it at all. It's almost like this sickening fairytale-esque teddy bear love that you just can't handle it. But you know what? They can handle it. Forever, probably.
It might seem like I'm favouring one couple over another, but trust me, I'm not. They're all winners. All of them. You disgustingly cute creatures, you.
Become a Cid's Knight
Get BannedQuote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIIIBriene
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...einespeech.png
G13 - Oh my, she's very pretty.
I could do without the stubble though.
eternal essence - Mmm, I love a woman who's all natural.
Jiro - I hear Danish girls do it better. Not sure what ""it"" is, but if she's anything to go by, it HAS to be good!
G13 - If she's willing to dye that hair she'd be a shoe-in for Pippy Longstocking.
Jiro - I'd stalk her long time, if you know what I mean. ;)
eternal essence - I can really get behind her being Knighted, I just hope none of the admins, specifically anyone with the initials DM, are against it for some strange reason.
Jiro - I'll definitely be against her. ;)
G13 - I volunteer for giving her the new CK tour. I can't wait to take her into the porn forum and lock the door and... oh my, was I thinking out loud? :shobon:
Bunny
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...K/Bunny4-1.jpg
eternal essence Dear god in heaven!
Jiro - Why am I touching the censored?
Can't say.
It's censored. ;)
G13 Get your hand away from it, you might catch something!
eternal essence What is he doing to that farm animal?
G13 Are we sure that's an animal? There's a lot going on...
Jiro I don't want to think about it. Those parts shouldn't go togeth- OH GOD THINGS SHOULD NOT MOVE LIKE THAT!
G13 - This reminds me of the time I walked in on my mom and dad wrestling. About 9 months later I got to share the story with my new little brother.
Jiro - You don't think that is Bunny's...girlfriend....do you? I heard she was pretty attractive but I don't know what we're judging that against.
G13 - I dunno, man, I'd probably hit that.
After a long night of binging on copious amounts of drugs, of course.
Jiro - I think I finally understand why they call him Bunny. I mean just look at him go. Incredible.
eternal essence - It could also be because of those ears. Those things put NCG to shame.
Jiro - Don't be too loud or Justy might hear you. We don't want to spark a one-man riot.
G13 Another Cid's Knight letdown. Who the smurf nominated this guy?
HC
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...Hypospeech.png
G13 - Looks like a good movie. I assume it's a horror film about going to the Prom.
eternal essence - He looks like Count Dracula's nerdy brother.
G13 Night of the living Frank Sinatra.
Jiro - Perhaps his prom had Frank Sinatra as the live band?
That's one I wouldn't want to miss.
Although imagine turning up to that one without a date.
""I saw Frank Sinatra...alone ""
G13 Check out the manscaping going on here. Shaped eyebrows are lady killers, I can't imagine why you would think he'd go stag.
eternal essence His father must be Spok.
Jiro - I guess Spok was the original spammer from out of space then. Too bad we can't just beam him up.
eternal essence - Guys, we're going to feel really bad when we find out those brows are a renewable source of fuel...
G13 - What a yearbook photo. How much tit do you think he got when he turned up at school in a tux?
Jiro - I wouldn't have given him any tit. Those eyes just scream ""I""MMA CHARGIN MAH LASER!""
G13 - He looks like he's making sex-eyes at someone behind me. I keep looking over my shoulder.
""Mom, what are you standing there for?""
Jiro - I thought he was Spok's son, not Iceglow's!
eternal essence MLT Become a CK sure has started out bleak.
Jiro Maybe there's something we're not seeing. HC 007?
G13 - That would explain the tux. Pretentious bastard. YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN ME!
Iceglow
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...glowSpeech.png
Jiro -
eternal essence -
G13 -
Jiro Okay, everyone done reading yet?
eternal essence - There's certainly a lot of text in this film. Do you think they considered writing a book instead?
G13 - It was based off of a book. They had to cut a lot out of the original title.
Jiro - I'm impressed that he has a friend who met the guy who coined the phrase blockbuster. Not everyone can say that now, can they?
eternal essence - I think this really would have worked as a silent film.
G13 - I suppose I'll have to read the book to find out how many women he's slept with.
eternal essence - Do you suppose he'd add me on PSN?
Jiro - First we have to verbosely debate what exactly constitutes a sexual encounter and whether girls who are less than a 5 count. I imagine if we said less than a 5 doesn't count then it should only be a dozen or so.
eternal essence - I really hope he adds me on PSN.
G13 A failed CK before he's even started. He'd spend so much time explaining the warning that the offender wouldn't be posting anymore.
Marshall Banana
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...K/MBspeech.png
Jiro - I didn't hear anyone say funky, but I can smell something funky. Jesus Philip, what have you been eating?
G13 - This scene reminds me of Animal House for some reason...
"Hey ladies, what am I?"
"Oh god, I hope it's a strawberry! http://forums.eyesonff.com/images/eo.../oh%20noes.gif"
Jiro - Those are rose coloured glasses if I ever I saw them. I can't shake the Lennon vibe though. The strawberries must be psychedelic.
eternal essence - What a trip, man.
Jiro - I'm a tad disturbed by the twin Hello Kitties growing out of her face though
Is that meant to be happening, or is it the strawberries again?
eternal essence - I dunno man, ever since I took one of those strawberries I've been seeing all kinds of tit.
G13 - She may have done time in the slammer. I hear the teardrop tattoos mean you've killed a guy... those Hello Kitty tats look pretty hardcore.
Jiro- Well there was that time she beat Rantzien to death with a strawberry.
I can't imagine what sort of things happened while she was behind bars.
eternal essence I'll vote for her if she promises not to spit whatever is in her mouth at me. :erm:
G13 - She's starting to freak me out. Go to the next movie!
Jiro - I CAN'T FIND THE SKIP BUTTON OH GOD...Phew
NCG
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1.../Warpaint1.png
Jiro - I assure you, I'm not trying to touch his ears. That's Justy's gimmick, and he can have that one
G13 - Make sure you wash your hands after this. That stuff on his face looks questionable.
Jiro - I wonder; did he volunteer as a human canvas so JessweeeeNOTE could practice her ""lady art""?
eternal essence - Oh my... it's seems to have gotten all over his clothes as well.
Jiro - I see, it's just a big misunderstanding! He's freaking out because of, well, yeah, and everybody thinks he's a rabid tribal trying to invade!
G13 - This movie should have been called Predator. Not because there are beastly aliens hunting you like a frightened rabbit, but because he is most likely peeping on some unsuspecting female from those bushes.
Jiro - You won't be able to run away ladies, those ears double as wings. Just scream and he will be incapacitated!
eternal essence - What's he doing with his mouth? Is he trying to smile or is he picking something from his teeth?
Jiro - I think he looks more sinister this way. I have this feeling he inherited his teeth from his father who happens to be a wacky clown. I hate clowns and clown spawn.
eternal essence I'm not sure I'd want to subject the forums to his rule. The man is obviously a delinquent!
G13 Agreed. I weep for the underage future.
Ouch!
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...20CK/ouch1.png
G13 - This movie is going to make me cry, I just know it.
Jiro - I didn't know Piglet had broken out of his role in Pooh. I thought he'd been typecast forever.
eternal essence - Yeah... and who's that pink guy?
Jiro - Well from the way they're standing, I'd say his lover. Or brother. Or both?
G13 - Brother lovers? When did Lonely Island get here?
eternal essence - They caught the boat with T Pain!
G13 - The pig doesn't know it yet, but that guy is marching him to the oven.
Jiro - The pain that we've been forewarned about is obviously the bludgeoning prior to the roasting, I think. I'd say ouch! too if I was beat to death.
eternal essence - ""Arm in arm, they skipped away to meet their deaths.""
Jiro - It's like Bambi, but with more food.
G13 - That reminds me, pork rind?
Jiro - Don't mind if I do!
eternal essence - A better title for this film might've been ""Things that make you go mmmm"" but I imagine McDonald's put a stop to that.
Jiro I wouldnt be opposed to taking the pig as a bribe. I'll vote for a man who isn't above bribing.
Vivi22
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g1...20CK/Thor1.png
G13 This looks promising. The previews were awesome.
eternal essence I can't see his hammer.
Jiro Maybe the hammer isn't what's being a thor in their side.
G13 Oh god, is this the porno knockoff!?
Jiro God damn, look at those muscles. I just wanna...
eternal essence Put your hand down, you're creeping me out.
G13 I bet he's not a natural blonde.
eternal essence You think those wings on his helmet help him stay aloft?
Jiro Oh definitely. But the cape's just for show.
G13 He looks like he's in pain. Or angry. Or both.
Damn you bran muffin, work!
Jiro So this guy wants to be a Cid's Knight, eh? Well, he's already dressing for the position...
eternal essence I'm too afraid to object.
Win a Ciddie for the very first timeQuote:
Originally Posted by Demon DudeMost likely to get Banned is often seen as a dubious award. But it's not. It's as presitigous as any, and winning it truly proves how much of an impact you've made upon the forum, for better or worse. Yeah, you could be a Cid's Knight, an Administrator, a Site Staff, so what? OR you could be banned, and join the true elite, featuring members such as:
Devil Man
That guy who wanted to strangle people
That other guy
erm ...
Well Roto got unbanned, so ...
...
Yeah, the elite! Over to Award Guy, before I get banned again for this terrible speech.
LIMIT BREAK a postQuote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIIII'm pretty sure only two of these nominees have never won a Ciddie before. AG has one task to do! :nonono:
Winning your first Ciddie is like losing your virginity. It's exciting at first, then a little disappointing, and before you know it you're playing the crying game and screaming WHY GOD WHY!? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME!?
It gets worse! Your friends won't like you anymore. Your girlfriend dumps you and steals your dog. Your car spontaneously combusts, burning down your garage and house in the process. You'll be left alone and bitter with nowhere to turn.
Enjoy your new Ciddie. :)
Try to rep themselvesQuote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIIIQueen Giant Ant appears.
Bunny uses Slash
94 damage
foa uses Fire
30 damage
Psychotic uses Punch
50 damage
Rantzien uses Seductive Stare
Queen Giant Ant is pierced to the soul.
98,000,000 damage
Queen Giant Ant is defeated.
Bunny gains 5 rep
foa gains 5 rep
Psychotic gains 5 rep
Rantzien gains 5 rep
Rantzien LIMIT BREAKs
Human Warrior Skeleton appears.
Bunny defends
foa defends
Psychotic defends
Rantzien uses a Potion
Rantzien loses LIMIT BREAK
Human Warrior Skeleton uses Devastation
GAME OVER
It's true, kids. If you don't use it, you lose it. :|
Unwittingly build up a friendship with a spambotQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroThis award is either the dumbass award or the egomaniac award. Neither of those are compliments so I am thoroughly offended to be nominated for this. As such, I am going to track you down and gut you using a sharpened pencil. Once your entrails are on the floor, I will strangle you to death with them whilst headbutting you into a fine paste.
Now I should preface the rest of this speech with the admission that I have tried to rep myself. Not only was my post smurfing amazing, but I was testing if it was actually possible. Sure Jiro, you say, that's a convenient excuse. But what do you think would happen if Peegee was allowed to rep his own posts? Think about that for a minute.
Yeah that's smurfing right. I just saved your lives, so be grateful. As for the rest of the nominees, well...
Hang on a minute. They're all male. What is this, you think women are too smart to rep themselves? You think women are too modest to rep themselves? Hmph.
Let's see who Award Guy says is the winner. But remember: I will kill you
http://www.boingboing.net/200710301214.jpg
Be the Square-Enix HackerQuote:
Originally Posted by Demon DudeI was about to write a fantastic speech for this award, with a carefully conducted run-down of every candidate. Then I realised Freya (Kaycee) was nominated. I also discovered that this was her only nomination. So, obviously, this speech is dedicated to her.
Kaycee stinks. She absolutely reeks, of onions, garlic, and everything else she rubs herself with nightly to make herself feel attractive. She's also disgustingly hairy. I once took a photo of Kaycee and the camera exploded, and Kaycee was so poor because she's a useless waste of space she couldn't afford a new one. Bitch. I traveled into this creature's domain to get her thoughts on her nomination.
Me: ""What are your thoughts on your nomination for this category?""
KC: ""Nobody loves me and I pick my nose.""
The other candidates are all generally lovely people.
BUT WHO WILL WIN? OVER TO AWARD GUY.
Be Papa SmurfQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroIf I was going to hack into a company, it wouldn't be Square Enix.
First of all, what a dick move. Japan is crippled and somebody thinks it's a good idea to just tit on them a little bit more. Don't they realise there's already smurfing delays to the next FF title? I don't want to be waiting a decade between instalments when they're disappointing anyway!
Secondly, if I were to hack Square Enix, I would just leave them a .txt file detailing what I expect them to do with the Final Fantasy series.
- Make them better
- Make them faster
- Give me royalties
Pretty simple, yeah?
Thirdly, you'd pick someone with more money. Or pick Hideo Kojima because he's so insane he'd probably let you keep the money because it's all apart of the plan. Is it just me, or does everyone else think that Hideo Kojima came up with the (fabulous) Metal Gear Solid plot after spending time with this guy? (Content Warning)
Lastly, I don't think many of our nominees actually have the l33t skillz to actually pull off such an operation. I've seen evidence of Face's programming ability in his Dokal scripting and a fancy program that let you make a rotating prism of however many sides you can imagine (not 1 though, which I found disappointing).
Flying Arrow seems like the devoted type though, so I can imagine him getting in there through trial and error. Wolf Kanno probably works for Square Enix by now, so he probably just got drunk and accidentally hacked them. Dammit WK, control yourself!
Our last two nominees are Hypoallergenic Cactuar and Peegee. You know what? They'd probably work together and the sheer insanity of the situation would be successful. But then they wouldn't know what to do except post cat pictures and pika spam.
Tell us who it was, Award Guy!
Be GargamelQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroPapa Smurf is a creeper. First of all he's blue. He's a really little, blue guy, with a white beard and a creepy grin. I don't know how in hell he became the ""hero"", but apparently this 543 year old paedophile is a huge hit with the kids.
Like Gargamel, this psycho likes to play with magic potions and tit. According to wikipedia, who is akin to the all-seeing all-knowing eye, when he is not doing his leader or ""father-knows-best"" job, Papa Smurf indulges in his favorite hobby: magical chemistry. He often makes elixirs to help Smurfs who get themselves into trouble. The French comic portrays Papa Smurf constantly preparing magical drinks from some kind of flower (the drawings in which the effects of these alchemical brews are shown are both turbulent and amusing [obviously this is wiki speak for ""smurfed up and dangerous]). As well as his house, he also has a secret smurfing laboratory containing several chemical devices of doom, and he tries to create potions for the good of the Smurfs, yet sometimes fails - such as the time he accidentally created a substance that turned any living thing into a huge monster. Oh yeah that was definitely an accident you psycho. Papa Smurf is actually the true villain of the show. Gargamel is just trying to save the rest of the idiotic Smurfs from this sinister blue freak.
That kind of makes this other image I found obsolete, but I couldn't let that stop me from bringing you the truth.
http://bluebuddies.com/smurf_fun/smu...Papa_Smurf.jpg
Complete lies and bulltit attempting to lull you into a false sense of security so he can rape you and then turn you into a unicorn or some tit
Oh yeah, and it turns out that smurf actually does mean smurf!
Quote:
Originally Posted by WikipediaPapa Smurf also has diplomatic skills in case they meet humans or other creatures, and usually manages to speak without using the ""smurf"" word.
Get TogetherQuote:
Originally Posted by JiroI'm sure we can all agree that Raistlin is Most Likely to be this guy.
http://static02.mediaite.com/geekosy...2898486835.jpg However in the pursuit of a fair and balanced speech, let me give you a bio of Gargamel.
In the fictional world of the Smurfs,RaistlinGargamel the sorcerer is the sworn enemy of the Smurfs and the principal antagonist in the show and comic books. While described as a wizard in the narration,RaistlinGargamel is not depicted as possessing real magical powers to speak of. However, he is quite competent at creatingfallacious argumentsmagic potions for various usages and thus could be considereda really valid point and i'm impressed by your thinking.an alchemist, rather than a wizard (like Harry Potter). His main goal in life is to destroyShlupQuackthe Smurfs or to capture enough of them to create a potion to turn base matter into gold.
WhenRaistlinGargamel first appeared in Le Voleur de schtroumpf (""The Smurfnapper""), published in 1959, he captured a smurf which he needed as an ingredient for a potion to make gold in accordance with the famed alchemic legend of the Philosopher's Stone. The other smurfs rallied against him, freed the kidnapped smurf and the sorcerer was defeated and humiliated. Gargamel swore revenge: from now on the conflict would be personal.
Sometimes he wants to eat the Smurfs, other times he wants to use them to make gold, and still other times he has even more bizarre uses for them (You do not want to know what these uses are. TRUST ME). Though he often catches Smurfs who wander by his home or which he happens across in the forest, he does not know the location of the hidden Smurf village, a fact which continually frustrates him.
Gosh doesn't this just sound like Raistlin?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RantzienLove. It's a fickle thing, and yet it can spring up between the most unlikely people (and parts of people). I, being an expert on the subject, know just how to find out if a particular two people (or parts of people) are likely as a couple. The right tool for the job is of course an online love calculator. I took the liberty of finding out the probability of the predicted lovebirds making a decent couple. The results may astonish you.
Guardian XIII & NorthernChaosGod opens with a weak 17 %. There doesn't seem to be much hope here. Perhaps their destiny is to remain a persistent flirt until the end of time; who can say? This is what Dr. Love has to say about it.
That's what she said, Dr. Love!Quote:
Originally Posted by "Dr. Love"Dr. Love thinks a relationship might work out between Guardian XIII and NorthernChaosGod, but the chance is very small. A successful relationship is possible, but you both have to work on it. Do not sit back and think that it will all work out fine, because it might not be working out the way you wanted it to. Spend as much time with each other as possible. Again, the chance of this relationship working out is very small, so even when you do work hard on it, it still might not work out.
Indeed, they are beaten to the ground by the unexpected Iceglow & ShlupQuack, who stand a 65 % chance of developing a happy relationship. Will ButThePoncho be left to the wolves in favour of IceQuack?
You don't need to tell Iceglow twice, Dr. Love!Quote:
Originally Posted by "Dr. Love"Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between Iceglow and ShlupQuack has a reasonable chance of working out, but on the other hand, it might not. Your relationship may suffer good and bad times. If things might not be working out as you would like them to, do not hesitate to talk about it with the person involved. Spend time together, talk with each other.
NCG's Right Ear, having had a rough, jealous week, will rejoice in the fact that Justy & NCG's Left Ear's relationship has a mere 38 % chance of blossoming and surviving. It would, however, not be wise for it to celebrate too early - there is still a chance of being abandoned as Justy deems Lefty the better of the two and they elope together.
Sacrifices indeed, but don't worry about NCG himself. His sacrifice is immaterial; this relationship may have potential yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Dr. Love"The chance of a relationship working out between Justy and NCG's Left Ear is not very big, but a relationship is very well possible, if the two of you really want it to, and are prepared to make some sacrifices for it. You'll have to spend a lot of quality time together. You must be aware of the fact that this relationship might not work out at all, no matter how much time you invest in it.
Peegee & Raistlin may not set a record, but they certainly do not shame themselves with 64 % on their love-o-meter. Considering their recent joint pranking efforts, one is left to wonder if such a coupling should maybe be made illegal.
I've heard this before, Dr. Love! Oh wait, nevermind - the names are different.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Dr. Love"Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between Peegee and Raistlin has a reasonable chance of working out, but on the other hand, it might not. Your relationship may suffer good and bad times. If things might not be working out as you would like them to, do not hesitate to talk about it with the person involved. Spend time together, talk with each other.
There you have it. You may say I'm spoiling the suspense, publicly revealing statistics like this. These are, however, the hard facts. It does not necessarily have any bearing on popular opinion, which is likely wrong. Just how close to the truth the voters are remains to be seen.
