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The recent massacre has shaken us all. The time to act is now! Returners and Misfits, Bandits and Warriors, the Police and this Snake character, all colors of blood will be shed!Quote:
Originally Posted by The newspaper headline
Fall back to our hideout, Warriors! We have some planning to do.
Can we plan AND make s'mores? uuhhhh....I mean sharpen knives.
I was investigating a kidnap case. Marshall Banana. Got a tip. Had to break NCG's arm to get it. Went to Hypoallergenic Cactuar's apartment. I couldn't find her but I knew she was there.
I found her underwear in the stove. Outside I saw two moombas gnawing on the bone of an arm.
Took their heads. And I waited for Hypoallergenic Cactuar.
He returned. Shock of impact ran along my arm. Jet of warmth spattered on chest, like hot faucet.
Stood in firelight, sweltering. Bloodstain on chest like map of violent new continent. Felt cleansed. Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night. Looked at sky through smoke heavy with human fat and God was not there. The cold, suffocating dark goes on forever and we are alone. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do. Devise reason later. Born from oblivion; bear children, hell-bound as ourselves, go into oblivion. There is nothing else. Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the moombas. It’s us. Only us. Streets stank of fire. The void breathed hard on my heart, turning its illusions to ice, shattering them. Was reborn then, free to scrawl own design on this morally blank world.
Night time in the Warriors hideout. All is quiet. Guardian XIII is away, tending to some dastardly business, and has taken a good majority of the gang with him. Of the six guards left behind, Remon, BoB, Shiny, Bert, and DMKA, only five are present when the raid begins.
“I want them all rounded up!” a voice barks out as smoke grenades crash through the windows. A Warrior doesn't know the meaning of the word “prisoner”, though. As the Secret Police file in through the double doors of the warehouse, BoB and Shiny, who happened to be playing cards at that moment, sprung into action. Immediately, they throw the table up and, diving behind it, struggle to pull off the guns duct taped to the bottom of it.
As they fumble with the tape, ShlupQuack appears from behind the upturned table and unloads a double barreled shotgun into them. Tossing aside the spent weapon, she spins around just in time to see Bert descend from the stairs, a nailbat hanging loosely in his hands. He sees her standing above the bodies of his fallen comrades and begins sprinting at her, swinging his weapon wildly and shouting all sorts of curses.
Jentleness cuts him down before he can take five steps. Shlup walks over and prods the lifeless form of Bert with a foot. “Piece of trout.” she mutters. Then a loud crash from over by the door caught her attention.
DMKA was wrestling fire_of_avalon and Caboose by the front entrance. He managed to get the drop on them and, picking them both up by the scruff of the neck, he slammed the two together, incapacitating them both. Then he faced ShlupQuack with a fire in his eyes.
The two squared off. Shlup raised her hand and beckoned to the big Warrior menacingly. And then he charged.
Shlup then pulled out her piece and put one right between his eyes, giggling delightedly at her deception.
As the Secret Police filed out of the destroyed Warrior base, Remon stumbled out of the bathroom waving a match. “Whooee!” he shouted. “Don't go in there for at least twenty minutes! … Guys?”
Dayum. :eek:
“Shlup, I need your Herby Hancock on these forms.” foa said as she entered the Secret Police chief's office. It was unnaturally dark, the lights were off for some reason, and there was a cool draft. “Shlup, are you alright? Why are the light of-” she asked as she turned the lights on.
ShlupQuack sat motionless in her office chair, a ninja sword protruding from her chest. fire_of_avalon tried to scream, but her voice caught in her throat. Then some movement by the window caught her eye. A female assassin, garbed in Bandit yellows, turned to meet her eye, then jumped headlong through the open window.
fire_of_avalon could barely contain her fear. She ran screaming from Shlup's office, “THE BANDITS HAVE KILLED OUT LEADER! SHLUP IS DEAD! THE BANDITS GOT HER!” So great was her fear that it never even dawned on her that there were no women gang members in the Bandits.
Mercy! Things are getting interesting.
There's something fishy about this... :nonono:Quote:
Originally Posted by Guardian XIII
oh, trouts going down~!
“Remon, what can I do for you?” Guardian XIII asked as the Warriors newest member entered the room that served as his office. Ever since the raid the initiate had been distant and avoided eye contact with the leader.
“Well, sir, I have a message for you.”
“Lay it on me, brothe-”
“The Bandits send their regards.” Remon spat as he stuck his belt knife into Guardian XIII's stomach. The leader of the Warriors crashed to the floor immediately. Infiltrated! he thought as the room spun in on him and his vision became dark. How could I have been so stupid!?
As the last of the light faded from his eyes, he thought he could make out the blurry shape of Jiro smiling above him.
Now this sounds more familiar. Come back home to us, Remon, you proper hero! Gwa ha ha ha!
Oh bollucks....
Thank you Chief.
http://oi56.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou...u:/15rxu8l.jpg
You should have seen it coming. Who joins the warriors anyway?
I joined and that alone made it a very core reason to join/stay.
When you operate in a high crime area such as EoFF, leaving an unattended window open is a bad idea. The Secret Police found this out the hard way.
They came without warning. The highly trained police force was caught completely off guard, their weapons nowhere to be found. It was a total clustersmurf. Who would have thought that the Warriors would strike back this quickly, if at all?
I'm my own MILF was taken out first. He never even saw it coming. The tomahawk that is. It, like, came around a corner at him. I mean wtf!?
A systematic bombing of the building came next. Fortunately for the Secret Police, no one was harmed by the blast, but the Police headquarters quickly filled with a choking smoke as the fire from the bombs spread. fire_of_avalon found herself trapped in her cubicle by a wall of fire. Unfortunately her name held very little meaning and she perished in the fire.
The only other casualty the Secret Police suffered was the intern, Mel “I refuse to refer to her by her new name” issaur. She got run over by the getaway car as she was making her way back from the local donut shop. She was found still clutching the box. What a trooper.
So many deaths :(
*ghosts around*
Since day one the Misfits have been fighting to show that they can roll with the big dogs. Tonight they were going to prove it. The first people they saw they were gonna straight up waste.
Unfortunately for them the first person they saw was Officer Jentleness. Now they were running for their lives, the Secret Police were on their trail. Cop killers were shot on sight, no trial or anything.
They decided to cut through Bandit territory as a short cut, and hopefully to lose the fuzz. As the three man group rounded a corner they stumbled across a small fight in an alley between two Warriors and two Bandits. Clo and Kaiser Dragon were beating the tit out of I Took The Red Pill and Goldenboko. Iceglow saw this as another perfect opportunity to show his gang meant business. He pulled off his backpack and dug around until he found a hand grenade. This ought to do the trick he thought evilly as he popped the pin.
ICEGLOW YOU BASKET CASE. Do us proud, you Misfit you :hattip:
It's cool someone needs to avenge Cousin Jiro :D
Looking around at the devastated police station, Jentleness knew the time had come to put an end to this war. When she had sworn the oath to be a member of the secret police she had not really understood at the time that cleaning up the streets would mean adding bodies to the morgue. She had thought she would make a difference by rounding up the bad guys and locking them away for a very long time. However, life simply didn’t work that way. Tears started to leak from her eyes as she thought of the loved ones this war had taken from her. She wondered how many more would go the same way. Now SchulpQuack was gone, murdered by a female in bandit colors…she wondered who this new female was, as she could not remember any member of the bandits being of the fairer sex. It was very odd, and it would be the first thing she would be investigating. Wiping away her tears, she took a deep breath and turned and walked away from what was left of the station. She would avenge her boss and she would put an end to this war, hopefully without putting an end to too many friends. However, she would do what she needed to do.
GUARDIAN XIII NOOOOO!!!!!! You were too good for this world. I'll avenge you and the unfortunate shape of your nose! You go have a turf war with the angels now, leave the rest to us.
Goldenboko betrayed my old gang, and now REMON!!!!! Bandits, beware!
I'm back at work and ready to post and we're all dead? What a let-down.
*does murdered person things*
tit
I take two days off and everyone dies...
Shouldn't someone be gettin fined for this?
Pants! shion! Pull yourselves together and go forth and avenge our fallen leader!
should have them avenge you whilst you're at it, Eric was "rushing things" because it was "like 3am or something" I'm not sure he finished things up properly
What a bloodbath!
Damn, this is getting good. I better go make a bag of popcorn or something.
I shall avenge my fallen leader !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All fear my wrath!
*Begins issuing strongly worded statement*
trout has hit the fan.
So, like, a lot of you are dead.
Someone send those fiends! :cuch:
Final battle flavor later. It's the Fourth. Gettin' drunk and lighting trout on fire, yo. :cool:
So much death, carnage, and quality entertainment!
Let's go go Misfits! Let's go go Returners! FOR GLORY
People die, Bandits dance. When will they stop dancing? When will it stop? Bandits won't stop dancing, not until all gangs are gone. :bigsmile:
Do we get the flavor post yet?
“Rantzien!”
That's the name EoFF was calling.
Or at least it would be in about three minutes. You see, Rantzien had it all figured out. This war was as good as over, and his gang, the Bandits, would be the last gang standing. Listen closely, children, this is the story of how Rantzien the Great outsmarted EoFF's finest, most ruthless, most misunderstood, and most... returniest.
Very early on Rantzien had planted the seeds of friendship. When this war first began, the Bandits seemed to be the most uncaring of all the gangs. Sure, they tagged their fair amount of turf, but when it came down to it they kept mostly to themselves. They didn't front, they left that to all the others. On the surface, they seemed weak... but Bandits always seem harmless during the day.
Behind the scenes the Bandits were making deals with all of the factions. The Returners, Secret Police, Misfits, Lionhearts, and Warriors all had an alliance with Rantzien. From day one he had been hard at work ensuring his gang would become the most powerful.
He faced a few problems after Jiro's death, and the eradication of the Lionhearts. With Jiro gone, Iceglow assumed command of the Misfits, and he wasn't having any of what Rantz was selling. This threw a spoke in his plan, but it only slowed him down a little.
What was the plan, you ask? It was simple, cozy up to each gang with promises of support. This may not sound like much to you, but this was just the beginning. Each promise made held something each gang seemed to need the most.
The reason being, of course, that Rantzien had a spy infiltrate the other gangs to watch and listen for anything they might be planning. The spy, being the leader of another gang, thought his alliance was the true alliance, and helped Rantzien set the other gangs against each other, trying to thin them out before the battle. As the task was finished, however, he had suddenly outgrown his usefulness and was assassinated by yet another spy Rantzien had sent in, leaving him free to complete his plan unchallenged. All that was left now was to acquire a bargaining chip. Power.
Breaking into the Secret Police headquarters, the Bandits stole an entire cache of weapons, weakening the police force significantly while doubling the power the gang held. With this one final action they had far surpassed all the other gangs in fire and manpower. With the last piece of his plan in his possession, Rantzien contacted each of the leaders in secret promising them his support in the coming battle.
The Secret Police accepted his offer of a combined attack against the Warriors, the Warriors were promised stolen weapons from the Returners as payment for eradicating the Misfits, the Misfits were promised support against a weakened Returners, which was rejected as Iceglow believed Jiro's alliance with them still stood, and the Returners were offered assistance in dealing with the Secret Police. The alliances had gone nearly full circle. Rantzien had pitted almost each gang against one another, with absolutely no intention of helping any of them.
Iceglow's refusal to ally himself with Rantzien was no more than an slight annoyance. With the Warriors attacking the three man gang, there would be no one to attack the Returners. The Bandit leader decided that the best course of action would be to attack them himself. With the weapons they stole from the Secret Police, they were twice as powerful as the Returners. With all the kinks worked out, Rantzien would soon be the most powerful man in all of EoFF.
Sitting on the roof of the warehouse overlooking the meeting place of the final battle, Rantzien sat back and relaxed as he sipped at a glass of red wine and enjoyed the sweet music of fighting from down below.
That's our leader! Suck it up bitches!
:zidane:
YOU SON OF A BITCH RANTZIEN. I KNEW YOU WERE SCUM FROM THE MOMENT I SAW YOUR BANDIT ASS WALK IN THE DOOR.
*ghosts around*
Bring it WARRIORS, OH WARRIORS COME OUT AND PLAY! BECAUSE I GOT SOME MORE GRENADES WHERE THAT LAST ONE CAME FROM AND I'M GONNA SHOVE THEM RIGHT DOWN YOUR THROATS? RIGHT AFTER I SHOVE ONE RIGHT UP RANTZIENS ASS!
Your victory isn't complete just yet. There's still the small matter of the final boss.
Hello, General Chat! Who takes RSL :rsl: takes the Forums! But, bad news everyone, 'cause guess who! Ha!
Now, the question for the hour is, "Who's got RSL :rsl:?" Answer: I do. Next question: "Who's coming to take him from me?" Come on, look at me! No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn, oh, and something else: I don't have anything to lose!
So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little gang hideouts with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking RSL :rsl: tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you in the elections and mafia, and then, and then do the smart thing.
Let somebody else try first.
Rantzien you cocky little bastard. I had a feeling you'd betray me at some point but I never thought it would go down like this. I trusted you, aided you, left you alone, and this is how you repay that trust? Well your overconfidence will be your downfall. For now all the gangs are on to you and we'll all be gunning for you. You may have all the cops' weapons but we still have the ULTIMA WEAPON, and with him we cannot be defeated.
You may have won this battle, but the war still rages. A Bandit's greatest asset is the element of surprise, and you no longer have yours. So smile now, for it will not last long.
*retreats deep into the caves of the Returner hideout to plot his next move*
And so The Misfits 3rd member returns to the fray. It's time to smurf trout up!
Unfortunately, the Misfits are down to two members, as Pike was killed in the onslaught. :(
I lost some good men too. But ULTIMA WEAPON lives.
So it's me and Iceglow left... Jeez. Still waiting for an update on what has been going on and what is to come. So Del, my fearless ally, fancy filling me in?
So this is how it goes is it? I fall just like our enemies before me? Do you really expect me to simply lie down and take it?
When I'm through you'll all wish I was dead. I'll have my revenge and I'll get it when you can't stop me. I'm coming for all of you in the dark of night. But there won't be any sweat socks anymore, just the blood. I'll enjoy hearing you all squeal while I cut you.
If death won't stop me, then what hope have any of you?
Hey look, a kitten. :love:
Perhaps a consolidation of the remaining members of the other gangs is in order?
Perhaps a summit is in order, yes.
Or maybe I'll just challenge Rantzien to one-on-one combat right here, right now, with The Snake meeting the victor.
I feel... lighter...
Pontus: hey babe let's be in an alliance
Me: omg what yesss babe secret alliance n____n
THIS IS BULLtrout
I go on vacation and my gang disintegrates. Oh, and my Swede throws me to the wolves. >:{
WAY TO GO, GUYS
I think we should all combine or at least work together and take down the Bandits. Rantzien's our biggest threat. He killed many of our members and their deaths need to be avenged. I would like the Warriors to lend us their hand in this, if they will.
It's not the bandits you want to work together to take down. :greenie:Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebellious Eagle
yeah we totally like...tricked you with our um, apathy and stuff.
bitches
Unfortunately our leader was killed by Rantzien and we're too busy spasming out while having Sephiroth-related flashbacks to appoint a new one. But I like your thinking.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebellious Eagle
I nominate me.
A dead person can't be our leader. We're a gang, not a cult.Quote:
Originally Posted by Demon Dude
I'm bored. Let's play a game.
NEW RULE FOR THIS THREAD:
If you do not acknowledge how wonderful, magnificent or plain awesome The Snake is in every post you make, The Snake will actually kill you. No joke.
Also, if you use the letters "v" or "j", I will kill you.
Also, if you don't post at least once every 24 hours, I will kill you.
I'm already dead. Though I still don't understand how.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/p...gif?1308280926
I have great respect for The Snake and his awesomeness. That is why I invite him to special guest referee my battle with Rantzien for the right to grovel at his feet.
SNAKE IS AWESOME.
Let's all take down Rantzien. YAY.
-followed all the rules-
I will allow Del Murder's transgression, if only because of his offer of a guest referee spot.
(ooc: and probably because I was editing the rules into my post when he made his)
Thank you for your generosity, great Snake.
First up, bold word changed because I'm not breaking the rules because I acknowledge that the snake is simply smurfing awesome. Kinda like how awesome your great grandpa is when he's pissing the sheets each night.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty
Second up, Shorty you been betrayed and left for dead by your swedish hombre how about it, wanna become a misfit like me and return the favour, except we won't abandon him for dead we'll simply kill him dead.
Also: PIKE! PIKE RESPOND! PIKE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Snake is the master of this dimension.
Snake is awesome.
Didn't I set you another task?Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod
Also it'd be funny if you guys somehow tricked rival gangs into having me kill them.
Working on it, mighty warrior, Snake.
I wonder what the mighty Snake could possibly need you for NCG, you're not much use at anything in particular.
Says the self-proclaimed Misfit. All hail Snake.
As the mighty Snake knows, I may not fit in because I may not be a master of a single trait...I'm a master of all of them baby so what they gonna do when I come for them? Bandits, Bandits come out, come out and play!!!
I commanded NorthernChaosGod to dance to Poker Face for me, dressed only in meat. He ignored me.
Subsequently, he had his dainty little ears stuffed full of cement and he was casually tossed into the Feedback River. A peon like him deserves no greater death scene, I feel.
EVERYBODY DANCE YouTube - CARTMAN - Poker face
Mighty Snake I hope you understand I can't dance, I'm British you see we support the wall and drink. But I do come with an offering: This is what you would expect if NCG actually danced for your pleasure.
Dick.
The Snake is indeed wonderful. One might debate in what aspects he is so, but I'm not one to go into details for the sake of establishing my own superiority. Clearly, this is a time for my ego to swell to such extremes that I consider myself past such banalities. Indeed, as we speak I am entering a state of hubris so large that it might yet lead to my morally symbolic and comical demise. Alas, I am currently so wrapped up in myself and my utter success at hoodwinking the lot of you that I start considering myself bordering on immortal. "Yes," you all cried. "yes, let's be allies, Mr. Criminal Gang Leader!" Quoth I: "All right, I will grant you this." And it was good, so good, to see you fall before me.
Ah but you see you grotty little bandit you'll remain far from the grace and power of the Snake. Because you couldn't fool me, no one fools no Misfit! Misfits rule and whilst we are small we're no fools and not weak either.
Raptured by his ego, Rantzien's disgrace
shall be known with his fall from grace.
A Snake far more powerful with his fangs bared
shall strike down Rantzien, who shows more ignorance than should be dared.
The other bandits will then fall with most haste,
as the mighty snake bestows upon them poison's taste.
And the bandits shall cry following their loss,
their end shall come beyond chaos.
Oh Mighty Snake! What my fellow Misfit says is true! Here is a film of what poor dancing skills us British folk own, for your watching pleasure!Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceglow
Ugh, I'm bored and I feel sick. Somebody argue with me.
A poem truly worthy of the great Snake.Quote:
Originally Posted by Edge7
And thus, The Returners show they're worthy to be our allies in the fight, with a beautiful poem to the almighty Snake!
Frankly my dear boy, you're feeling dead not sick, to feel sick one does need to be still in the realm of those not dead. Snake would not settle for this he'd be too glorious.Quote:
Originally Posted by Demon Dude
So I am Very much dead, it saddens me that such a Just member of the warriors has been slain.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
I would Very much like to say right not that the criminal Snake desperately needs to be bought to Justice for the sake of the sanity of everyone here!
Addendum: Also he is so very much not awesome or epic. :elk:
I am going to cut your arms off and then beat you with them whilst you try to defend yourself with your bloody stumps. Then I am going to take your head and insert it into your anus to make you form a doughnut shape. Afterward, I take you, put you back into your mother's womb, and then I will abort you.Quote:
Originally Posted by IceglowFrankly my dear boy, you're feeling dead not sick, to feel sick one does need to be still in the realm of those not dead. Snake would not settle for this he'd be too glorious.Quote:
Originally Posted by Demon Dude
Big words for a ghost, pity that you didn't say them before you got killed and a bigger pity that you didn't say them BEFORE I slept with your momma and get her pregnant with you. Yes, I am your Father. All hail monstrously powerful Snake.Quote:
Originally Posted by Demon DudeI am going to cut your arms off and then beat you with them whilst you try to defend yourself with your bloody stumps. Then I am going to take your head and insert it into your anus to make you form a doughnut shape. Afterward, I take you, put you back into your mother's womb, and then I will abort you.Quote:
Originally Posted by IceglowFrankly my dear boy, you're feeling dead not sick, to feel sick one does need to be still in the realm of those not dead. Snake would not settle for this he'd be too glorious.Quote:
Originally Posted by Demon Dude
Well I suppose they don't make condoms for woefully small penises.Quote:
Originally Posted by IceglowBig words for a ghost, pity that you didn't say them before you got killed and a bigger pity that you didn't say them BEFORE I slept with your momma and get her pregnant with you. Yes, I am your Father.Quote:
Originally Posted by Demon DudeI am going to cut your arms off and then beat you with them whilst you try to defend yourself with your bloody stumps. Then I am going to take your head and insert it into your anus to make you form a doughnut shape. Afterward, I take you, put you back into your mother's womb, and then I will abort you.Quote:
Originally Posted by IceglowFrankly my dear boy, you're feeling dead not sick, to feel sick one does need to be still in the realm of those not dead. Snake would not settle for this he'd be too glorious.Quote:
Originally Posted by Demon Dude
Snake is truly a master of tactics, combat, and subterfuge. Perhaps he is the legend, the Big Boss, the one, true Solid Snake.
Well done good sir.Quote:
Originally Posted by KaiserDragonSo I am Very much dead, it saddens me that such a Just member of the warriors has been slain.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
I would Very much like to say right not that the criminal Snake desperately needs to be bought to Justice for the sake of the sanity of everyone here!
Addendum: Also he is so very much not awesome or epic. :elk:
I would like to add: V. J.
Also: smurf Snake!
And if I could only break that third rule while breaking the other two I would.
PS: See you in your nightmares Snake. I can't wait to play. :radred:
Umm... wtf is going on? :erm:
That flavor wasn't a warning. It's real time. There's no time to react to being betrayed because you're all too busy killing each other.
Snake vs. Rantzien do it now!
Del Murder charged Rantzien head on, with fury in his eyes. The thief nimbly, effortlessly, stepped aside, not even spilling a drop of his drink, and Del went crashing into the wall behind him. When he arose, there stood Remon with two AK-47s pointed at his chest.
'Any last words before I dispose of you?' asked Rantzien casually.
Del Murder wiped the blood from his mouth. 'You may be a liar, a cheat, and a scoundrel, but are you yet a man? Will you face me, one on one, no fancy weapons, no tricks. One battle to settle the score.'
'If that's how you want to play it.' Rantzien nodded to Remon, and he shot Del once in the thigh. A circle was formed around them, and the fight began.
Limping, Del Murder was unable to parry the first blow, a right cross to the temple. As he lay on his hands and knees, Rantzien just laughed. Wanting to get back to his spoils, Rantzien decided to end it quickly with a swift kick to the head, but this time Del was ready. Balancing on one knee, Del Murder caught the foot inches from his face, and spun Rantzien to the ground. Then he was upon him, landing blow after blow to the pretty boy's face. Unable to fend off the fury, Rantzien instead sent a quick fist to the open wound on Del's thigh, send him screaming in agony. This allowed him to scuttle free, and now both fighters stood facing each other, Del limping heavily, and Rantzien trying to relocate his jaw.
'Enough,' said Rantzien. 'I already have the Snake to deal with. Let's end this.' He taunted Del Murder, and Del charged, knowing what was about to come. As Del sent a right hook towards Rantzien's head, Rantzien sent his own right at Del's side, but this was no ordinary punch. Hidden within the Bandit's hand was a blade, a blade meant for the kidney of the Returners' don, but Del Murder knew better than to trust a Bandit twice. Feigning the hook, Del backed off, and the blade swiped at air inches from a mortal blow. Del landed a quick uppercut to the chin, and the blade flew from Rantzien's hand as he slumped over. With victory in hand, Del clasped his hands for the final blow, but the Bandit was not yet out of tricks. Rantzien produced a second blade from his shoe, and as Del was to bring the crushing blow down, Rantzien struck upward, nailing his opponent right through the chin.
Del Murder fell down, finished. 'Congratulations,' said the Snake, appearing from the shadows, raising the hand of the victor. 'A very good showing.'
'No...' said Del Murder. 'No....w.' 'Now....!' From the crowd jumped him. The Returner himself. The ULTIMATE WEAPON. And strapped to his chest was about 15 pounds of C4.
Part 2 coming up.
High above the battle below on the rooftops Iceglow edged forwards, no one missed the misfits below, no one ever realized they weren't there. That was their greatest weapon they could slip unnoticed through most of the forums before landing some truly devastating blows. Pike was gone, she'd be slaughtered by those damn bandits as the gang fled through their territory. Iceglow still saw her laying there when he closed his eyes, laser rounds cauterizing the wounds even as they made it. They didn't shoot her just once or twice but from the way she was full of small burnt through holes she could've been hung up to make a star spangled banner.
I Don't Need A Name was down in the building below, he was rigging up some defenses, if all went to plan then this would cause the remaining bandits to storm the place. He knew of course he and I Don't Need A Name probably didn't stand a chance in the end, Snake was out there and Snake wasn't predictable like the rest, the words came back to haunt him a voicemail message, he'd never even felt the phone ring or vibrate but it was there alright Snake's raspy voice simply telling him "You're already dead"
Returning his mind to the present he flipped the cap up on the scope of the high powered .50cal sniper rifle he was nursing in to position and sighted through it. Del Murder wasn't doing so good down below, Remon had cheated...just like the damn Bandits to cheat. Quickly Iceglow scoped over the entire scene, everyone was there. Well everyone left alive after the battle, Pike's accusing eyes flashed through his mind once more he banished the thought with some effort he had to focus, sighting up on Rantzien he thought about his plan. Del Murder didn't expect to win hence why the ultimate weapon had a bomb strapped to him. Iceglow trusted that plan about as much as he could trust the words of Rantzien himself. Del Murder went down to a cheap trick, surprising that he could talk to get Ultima Weapon to make his move. Remon reacted fast twin AK-47s coming up and then flying out of his hands as the 50 cal headshot blew his brain apart like it was an over-ripe melon. Rantzien was still on the floor, no shot yet, Damn Ultima Weapon standing in the way.
Below he heard the first of the defenses go, Sharkythedog had forced entry along with 2 police officers, Caboose and Jentleness they had hit the defenses hard. Snake was out in the square now, looking up directly at the spot where Iceglow was hiding, Rebellious Eagle fired up and Iceglow put a round through his chest taking the Eagle's life, the body lifting completely off the floor and flying back until it went through a shop window. "Well at least he flew once" Iceglow thought as he moved the sight round seeking his next victim, 2 bullets fired, 3 left in the clip and he knew he'd never have time to reload to the second clip.
Ultima Weapon was still in his way of killing Rantzien most of the other gang members below were frozen in fear. Snipers above, gunfire and explosions ripping through the building below the sniper and to cap it all off a suicide bomber in their midst. Iceglow fired once more the round knocked the Snake clean off his feet, angrily the Snake rose his right shoulder clearly broken or dislocated but somehow his life intact. Most men would've been convinced to stop by a shoulder hurt like that, Snake however was convinced to just get started. He strode over to Ultima Weapon and grabbed the would be suicide bomber by the throat. Dragging him over he entered the lobby of the tall building Iceglow was using for his perch and once within he tied Ultima Weapon to a pole using the handcuffs from Officer Caboose's mangled corpse, seems the officer being bold had tried the lifts and found instead a bomb. Calmly walking outside the building Snake turned back and shot the explosive vest detonating the Ultima Weapon.
Iceglow felt the vibration of the blast from below the he felt the floor fall away beneath him that floating sensation seemed to last forever before he smashed back down in to the broken concrete a support bar broken free impaled him through the hip and he screamed in pain. No one would ever know what happened inside the building between Jentleness, Sharky and IDNAN their bodies would be nothing more than a fine paste.
As the dust settled they heard the cry from the rubble pile, Rantzien and Snake together began advancing on it carefully picking their way through Snake not even slowed from his injury at the hands of the Sniper. Snake found him first, "Should've known. As I told you on the phone bub...you're already dead" Iceglow fumbled his sniper rifle was bent out of shape but he could still use his pistol, he managed to draw it when the Snake casually turned away "Don't bother trying kid, I know all your moves" Rantzien having found them from the sounds of Snake's voice appeared and Iceglow shakily aimed his pistol at the Bandit "...For vengance" he whispered as he squeezed the trigger. "...No, for victory" Snake replied as he turned Iceglow's shot flew wide screaming off in to the night Snake's single bullet however hit the dying Misfits leader in his heart.
Part 3 coming up...
Just then, Zombie I Took The Red Pill arose from the rubble. He grabbed Iceglow from behind and threw him to the ground. He then farted in his mouth and rode off into the sunset in search of Iceglow's mother.
Part 4 coming up...
And then I Took The Red Pill woke up from his dreams and realized he was just having his normal wet dreams.Quote:
Originally Posted by I Took the Red Pill
Impossible. Zombie Ghosts don't have dreams. Your move, WallOfText McGee
I will crush you with my wall of text and then what will you do? Sweet smurf all because you'd be smurfing dead, TWICE. NAKED! And then everyone could laugh at the size of your tiny penis which is somehow smaller than even PiP Dick.Quote:
Originally Posted by I Took the Red Pill
I am a woman. Your mother is a lesbian. I'm sorry you had to find out like this.Quote:
Originally Posted by IceglowI will crush you with my wall of text and then what will you do? Sweet smurf all because you'd be smurfing dead, TWICE. NAKED! And then everyone could laugh at the size of your tiny penis which is somehow smaller than even PiP Dick.Quote:
Originally Posted by I Took the Red Pill
Thanks for the reassurance though. First you reference zombie ghosts having dreams and then you talk about trying to kill one who is already dead. With your impeccable logic I'm sure the Final Fantasy 3 lads or whatever dweebfest you belong to will go far
I Took The Red Pill, I know my mother is a lesbian. Why would this be news to me? Of course you're just bitter that it was my little bunch of Misfits who made you eat a hand grenade.
Snakes are sexy
WHAT IN THE SWEET smurf IS GOING ON. :colbert:
Many people died. Snake is awesome. That's what I'm going with at least.Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod
I have no idea who is dead or not anymore. I think Snake and Rantz should get on with the final battle. Should be epic. :greenie:
I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Put on your best slippers and face the forums' new crimelord, old-timer.
I can't even count the amount of violations you have made here. WHEN I GET AHOLD OF YOU-
Rebellious Eagle a he? So stupid. :eep:
Snake: Now appears the final boss.
Rantz: I'm ready.
Snake: Come then and face me.
Rantz: Let's do this.
Snake: Make your move.
Rantz: Any time.
Snake: Do something.
Rantz: No u
Snake: *stares*
Rantz: *laughs*
Snake: *sits down and reads a book*
Rantz: *does the same*
Most boring final battle EVER.
I'M A SHE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Oh well. As long as Rantzien dies I'm happy n.n
Hold your horses. There's unfinished massacre business first.
YouTube - GoodFellas - 12 - Derek And The Dominos - Layla (Piano Exit) (maybe only Del Murder will understand why this is relevant, but I hope he at least will have a smile on his face) If you don't get it, (SPOILER)YouTube - Goodfellas
Months after the final battle, they were still finding bodies all over General Chat.
I Don't Need A Name was fished out of the Feedback River, having been found floating face down. His bloated corpse had several stab wounds. The legacy of the Misfits was no more.
sharkythesharkdogg disappeared. Simply vanished. No trace of him was ever found, other than a blood stain on the carpet at his apartment, and signs of a struggle.
Cid's Knights discovered Remon and Depression Moon in their brand spanking new pink car. Both had received a sharp instrument, possibly an ice pick, through the base of the skull. Their leader was nowhere to be found.
Edge 7 was found in a motel room. The Admin Forensics Team determined that it was a lone gunman, using a silenced 9mm pistol. A shot to the chest and a shot to the head.
TrollHunter was found at the bottom of the stairs at the FFVII metro station. They determined from the levels of sweat and adrenaline that he had been running like the Devil himself was after him, and had apparently fallen.
A man walking his dog in the General Gaming woods had discovered the shallow grave of champagne supernova, where he had been rolled into a carpet and hastily buried.
When they found Rebellious Eagle in the meat truck, she was so frozen stiff that it took two days to thaw her out for the autopsy.
Goodfellas reference: point Snake.
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Remon
Snake, snake, oohhhhhh it's a snake...
Rantzien, if he offers you an apple, RUUUUUUN!Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebellious Eagle
Yooooouuuuu BASTARD!!!!!
*and then a small bead slowly descends down the stairs*
Do we get an end flavor post?
Nothing still? Come on, this ain't no Shiny-hosted event where days go by between revelations.
That's it, we're moving on to the voting round. PM me your votes on who should win the final battle: Snake or Ratzien.
Rantzien or Psychotic? Awww, man.
There's no flavor because Rantzien won, and bandits don't make declarations.
Oh come on, he referenced Goodfellas. The winner is obvious.
Also, I'm completely confused as to what this game is about. All I know is I didn't have to do anything so I'm happy. /yams
I was going to make my own post but I find this sums it up nicely.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiny
Psychotic should have won. He was a badass. :<
I would like to share with you a PM that I received from none other than Guardian XIII at the start of all of these hijinks.I have already won. If Rantzien tries anything, guess what? He dies. The PM also states I can do whatever I want to him so I'm mostly keeping him around for my amusement (and yours!)Quote:
Originally Posted by GXIII
I am therefore forcing Rantzien, completely within canon, to do the following:
- Eat six hundred raisins. Also, boogers.
- Vigorously rub his face upon the sweaty buttocks of PG.
- Perform the score for H.M.S. Pinafore. He is every character.
- Read every single word of every single post that Iceglow has ever made. Twice.
Got any suggestions? I'll make him do it!
This is turning into a game of Mafia. Role pms?
All I did was trout talk FF VII once. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Shiny
How do we know that PM is real? :colbert:
Bringing rules and invicibility into Gang Wars.
Guess we stopped doing things right around here.
Please stop crying into this thread, and instead weep into this handy bottle. That way I may save your tears for consumption later. Thanking you! :aimkiss:Quote:
Originally Posted by Loony BoB
Oh god after the last gang wars this post felt so good to make that I am literally orgasming. Okay maybe not literally. Or even metaphorically. But it was the best thing I've done in at least the past 12 minutes.
This has got to be the longest conclusion, in relation to the length of the story it is suppose to conclude, of all time. Of all time!!
You're directly involved in this you scandinavian swineherd. I was waiting for you to do something. You want me to do all the work? ...really? Okay.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rantzien
The Snake killed Rantzien and mostly everybody was jovial. The End.
Happy? :p
I was waiting for someone else to do something.
You can take my life, but you can never take my tail!! *dies*
Too bad posting your role pm gets you modkilled.
Nobody wins! Yay!
Crossing a line here.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
Well that was anti-climatic.Quote:
Originally Posted by Del Murder
yay
Yay! Now wipe that trout off my Aeris Reborn.
None of you smurfs better include me in another one of these.
Agreed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Remon
Crossing what line, the line I left on your momma's back? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by I Took the Red PillCrossing a line here.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
I find it quite creepy that the only thing that makes you e-jaculate days comes from the thought of drinking my e-tears. Don't make me leave another smurfed up rainbow picture on your arm. >=(Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
