How should I take this?

I was supposed to get a job but stuff happened and I didn't. So anyways I went and printed out some more resumes and told my boyfriend that I was gonna go hand them out and he said I shouldn't, and I asked why and he said that I shouldn't get a job. I said what if I want to get a job and he said well then go for it, but you shouldn't. I asked why and he said there is no need. So I pointed out how, without me having a job, he has to pay for
Rent
Food
Bills
Clothes
School Supplies
Bus Pass
Anything else that needs buying.
He said, yeah, so? I should just focus on school and not get a job.

I really don't know how to take this. How does he not care he has to pay for EVERYTHING? I don't get it.

Pessimism: He sees himself as the alpha male and wants to be the one who earns the money for authoritative reasons.

Optimism: He's a nice bloke.

I think it's a good sign if he wants you to focus on school. Has he mentioned what he wants you to do AFTER school?

Pretty much what DD said. Try to look at it in a positive light of he just wants to be supportive and thinks that without a job in the way you can focus on school more.

If you're comfortable with that, take that option.

If you want to feel more independent, or just want to not be a financial drain, get the job.

If he takes offense at you getting the job, just tell him how you feel.

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Originally Posted by Pike

. Has he mentioned what he wants you to do AFTER school?

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He has.
Kehehehehehehe

Anyways, study I guess? Homework? Play Final Fantasy? I mean, more studying?

I'm not offended I'm just kinda shocked

I don't know, based on other things you've mentioned here and there about the guy, I have to wonder if he just doesn't like the idea of you being independent.

I've never been Kehehehehehehe'd before but goddamn I want to be.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shion

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pike

. Has he mentioned what he wants you to do AFTER school?

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He has.
Kehehehehehehe

Anyways, study I guess? Homework? Play Final Fantasy? I mean, more studying?

I'm not offended I'm just kinda shocked

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After you graduate, I mean.

He says it's important I finish and get a good job so that I can then pay for everything and buy him a car and chicken wings and such.

I find it interesting that after car his second on the wish list is chicken wings.

Well if he wants to pay for things while you go to school so that then you can start helping to pay for things afterward I don't see why it's a particularly big deal! I know a few couples who do that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shion

He says it's important I finish and get a good job so that I can then pay for everything and buy him a car and chicken wings and such.

I find it interesting that after car his second on the wish list is chicken wings.

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That is all it means. I put my wife through school the same way. Chicken wings are good.

It means he's willing to support you for the time being. His reasons, whether selfish, gallant or just plain practical, or a combination, are not something we're privy to. Try to find out his reasons if you want to know them - aside from that it's just a question of how you feel about being in the position of being supported.

I'm with Lynxie baby on this one. You buy that man some chicken wings.

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Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon

I'm with Lynxie baby on this one. You buy that man some chicken wings.

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Goddamn I could go some chicken wings right now. If somebody offered to pay my way through school and life, I would say heck yes thank you whether or not their intentions are less than ideal. Although I'd probably jump ship before the chicken wings and a new car came up because I'm a user.

He really cares for you, thats really sweet of him. :p

When you give him those chicken wings add in a turkey wing for good measure. :quina:

Typical male scumbag chauvinist pig exerting his control over you by forcing you to not pay rent and instead go to the institutionalised patriarchal open prison known as 'school'. HOW CAN YOU GROW IF HE DOESN'T LET YOU BLOW.

I'd say he's offering to cover it in a positive light. In his shoes if I was offering to pay that kind of money out monthly I wouldn't lie about the reasons I would simply tell the girl truthfully what it is that motivates me whether that is the "alpha male" knowledge that when I come home from work, there'll be dinner on the table and the place will be clean and such or that when she's done with school she can get a better job and so it's best to stick it out. There is no point in lying about the reasons you don't care about paying all the bills, at the end of the day the girl is either gonna accept the offer and if she does it is highly likely that both the clean/tidy home with dinner cooked every night and her focusing on her school work and getting a better job will come of it or the girl is going to refuse the offer and get a job herself to contribute and the result may be that she gets a good grade but there will be too much going on in her life for the relationship to survive. (I know that can happen, my ex studied and she worked 2 jobs for a while, I myself worked 2 jobs too but didn't study. It killed our relationship because we hardly saw each other and when we did get time together she was too busy studying to spend actual time with me)

Oh, I remember one of my ex used to do that. He even supply me with a laptop and other expensive stuffs. :bigsmile:

Then when the day come to the breakup, well, he send me a bill and the list of things to return and pay back. :(

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Old Manus

HOW CAN YOU GROW IF HE DOESN'T LET YOU BLOW.

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He has no problem with this.

Anyways, he says he will let me pay for stuff after, but I know he won't. When I did have a job a whiles back (after I dropped out of school, before I moved with my mom for a while) he never let me pay for anything. ANYTHING. I don't just mean he wouldn't let me buy dinner, it was like, oh I'm gonna hafta buy new shoes tomorrow, then he'd show up later with shoes for me. He's just like that.

I found out my college classes are at night, so I am going to get a job during the day since he's gone to work anyways. Out time together has been cut seriously short. He'd better stop working weekends now.

BTW, off topic, starting in November two of my courses overlap. What am I going to do? Are they going to fix it???? Are they??? Surely they must know. Right?

That depends on the school, I guess! You're in college, right? I'm not sure what country you're in, if you're in the USA, then more likely than not you'll have to fix it yourself. Your schedule, your problem :( If you have two classes that overlap, and they actually do overlap rather than it just being a typo or computer error, then you have to drop one of the classes and try to find it again at a more convenient time or fail it, because obviously you can't be in two places at once!

If you're doing school 'properly' then it is in itself a full-time job. The amount of reading and studying a student should be doing is far in excess of what they actually do. It's not just about time, it's about not being too mentally exhausted to do what you're supposed to be doing, either at work or at home. Of course, there are good reasons to get a job as well, not least of which is experience.

If he's a reasonable guy then I think it's what Lynx says. He wants you to focus on your studies so that you can do well in school and eventually get a better job that will benefit the both of you. If he's not reasonable, then it could be a 'I bring home the bacon' provider-type mentality. Either way you're in good shape. I wish my girlfriend would tell me I don't need to have a job...

I will take him off your hands if you like :monster:

Two words: Di-Vorce

He clearly wants you to get an awesome job, make tons of money, marry you then divorce you and take half..

Or wants you to succeed in life instead of worrying about school and work simultaneously which no matter what anyone says (part OR full time to either) SUUUUCKS.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shion

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Old Manus

HOW CAN YOU GROW IF HE DOESN'T LET YOU BLOW.

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He has no problem with this.

Anyways, he says he will let me pay for stuff after, but I know he won't. When I did have a job a whiles back (after I dropped out of school, before I moved with my mom for a while) he never let me pay for anything. ANYTHING. I don't just mean he wouldn't let me buy dinner, it was like, oh I'm gonna hafta buy new shoes tomorrow, then he'd show up later with shoes for me. He's just like that.

I found out my college classes are at night, so I am going to get a job during the day since he's gone to work anyways. Out time together has been cut seriously short. He'd better stop working weekends now.

BTW, off topic, starting in November two of my courses overlap. What am I going to do? Are they going to fix it???? Are they??? Surely they must know. Right?

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Whaaaat? You do not even get to choose your shoes? At first, he sounded alright, but now it sounds like he is really insecure.

He sounds like a keeper!

I wish I had had a job when I was with my girlfriend. I could have been supporting her while she did college and she wouldn't have been nagging me about getting a job. It's not as if I didn't try.
J'Aymz: My psychotic twin wants to stalk all of the would-be employers who snuffed me and beat them with a blunt object I may or may not find lying nearby. Whoops. Wrong thread.

The school fix'd it.

My responsibility, pffffffffffffffffft