Stupid Customers.

So this afternoon a chav walks into my shop and immediately asks to see "the manager" "I am the manager" I told him, ok, yesterday I had a pizza from here and normally you guys are great when it comes to pizza but yesterday it made my wife (he indicated to the girl who was standing next to him, who looked 15 y/o) very sick and I had to take her to hospital because of the pizza we ate yesterday" he said to me, I replied "Do you remember who it was that served you? Also what time did you order your pizza" so he said that the person who served him had black hair and he didn't tell them the name, he was also adamant that I was not there yesterday... thats when I drop the ball on him "Sir, I did a double shift yesterday and I was the only person here who could have served you, you must be mistaken" all of a sudden he starts getting abusive saying that he did not need to be put up with being called a liar and stormed out of the shop.

Seriously, why do these people even bother to try, I can always tell when I get one of those customers but they still try to get free pizza... there were so many holes in his story it would have taken someone with a complete lack of a brain to fall for such a lame ass attempt to get free pizza.

ITT: Stupid/Idiotic customers.

What is a "chav"?

It's about the same as "white trash" in the US if you're more familiar with that term, DMKA.

They were probably just after a free pizza. They should work on a better story, honestly.

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Originally Posted by Agent Proto

It's about the same as "white trash" in the US if you're more familiar with that term, DMKA.

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Ah, I am. That clears it up. :D

Kaiser, you'll appreciate this one.

Some ghetto fabulous people walk into my Quik Trip one day demanding to see the manager as well.

Me"Hi, I'm the manager. What can I help you with."

Them "Yeah, we came in here yesterday (We love Quick Trip) and bought 35 hotdogs and 20 taquitos as some snacks at our family reunion and everyone got sick. We like Quik Trip, so we're not trying to get you in trouble. We just want a refund."

Me "Oh my, that sounds terrible! I just have to verify a few things and I'll be glad to refund the money. What time did you come in, and what method of payment did you use?"

Them "We paid cash, and came in around 2:30."

I research the previous day's transaction history.

Me "Uh oh. I don't have any transaction for 35 hotdogs and 20 taquitos. I've searched all day, and there were no sales like that. I searched the whole week, and then to be thorough, I searched the whole year. I'm pretty sure this store has never sold that many hotdogs and taquitos at once. Are you sure you have the right Quik Trip?"

This is followed up by colorful language and threats on my life.

Me "I'm sorry you feel that way. Grab a fee fountain drink on the way out. Thanks, come back and see us!"

It turns out they hit 15 Quik Trips that day with the same story and only 2 stores didn't fall for it. :|

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

It turns out they hit 15 Quik Trips that day with the same story and only 2 stores didn't fall for it. :|

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Dude... seriously? :|

I take calls like this every day of my life.

They aren't stupid customers, they're subtle thieves. Though most people are gullible and stupid so they get away with it usually.

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

It turns out they hit 15 Quik Trips that day with the same story and only 2 stores didn't fall for it. :|

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People actually fell for something like that? If someone did something like this at my store without my authorization they would be out of a job... 13 refunded and they didn't even produce a receipt...

At least I know now why such people try these things, because alot of people (work people NOT excluded) are smurfing dumb.

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

It turns out they hit 15 Quik Trips that day with the same story and only 2 stores didn't fall for it.

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So, you don't have to be exceptionally bright to manage a shop? Why the hell do I waste my time trying to come off as intelligent?

Of course, I'd probably slip them the refund too, because I'd be too sidetracked with "not caring that I'm the manager." I never want to be in charge of something so mundane. It may mean slightly more money but if it's for something I don't care about (and I really don't) then I'd just as soon be a regular schlub at the counter. Now if only somebody would just hire me as a damned schlub!

This is why actual sales / retail customer relations jobs are worthless to me. Sure there's huge money in it for me (me; not general you) if I pursued it at the bank level, but eff that shiet.

That story sharkythesrobotshark said made me rage. How stupid do you have to be to fall for that ?

lol @ at trollands.

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Originally Posted by KaiserDragon

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

It turns out they hit 15 Quik Trips that day with the same story and only 2 stores didn't fall for it. :|

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People actually fell for something like that? If someone did something like this at my store without my authorization they would be out of a job... 13 refunded and they didn't even produce a receipt...

At least I know now why such people try these things, because alot of people (work people NOT excluded) are smurfing dumb.

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Quik Trip is HUGE on customer service. We were given a leeway of 25 dollars before we needed supervisor approval for every customer refund situation. With out a receipt, with out good reasoning on the part of the customer, if we felt they should get the money then we gave it to them. Basically it was a judgement call on our part on whether the person was going to call corporate and have a trout fit.

I was yelled at for giving out the money and then yelled at for giving out the
money for very similar situations.

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

I was yelled at for giving out the money and then yelled at for giving out the
money for very similar situations.

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A typo? lol you got yelled out for giving out the money, twice xD

People like getting troutty with me when it's packed and the queue is stretching outside the house. I once got given a serious bollocking from a random woman who 'has a Baccalaureate in Hospitality & Catering!' and was apparently unhappy with the state of the tables. That wasn't even my duty and I had to grin and bear it like a little bitch.

People like that are why I have a job and make XX,XXX.XX a year... so I can't really complain.

EDIT - why would they try to get free pizza from a place that made them sick the day before anyway?! Never understood that.

"Hey McDonald's, there's a chicken beak in my mcnugget!" "Oh, really sir? Well we can offer you free mcnuggets for a year."

...wtf

I once had some ghetto dude in an electric wheelchair come in and ask me if he could charge his wheelchair up for a couple hours in our showroom. Yes, those were his exact words, and no, he wasn't kidding. When I politely said "I'm sorry sir, but I can't allow you to do that, because I don't pay the bills here. If you'd like there are public outlets in the park across the street.", he starts screaming at me, saying smurf you, calling me a faggot, and telling me he's going to sue for discrimination. I said "Sir, if you don't leave, I'll be forced to call security." Which was followed by more screaming profanity and about how I was a terrible racist because he and his family were slaves who built the city I live in and therefore I owe him something. Finally when I picked up the phone and said I was calling the cops, he left, still cussing and screaming.

lol

I have had some brilliant customers recently though my all time fave was last christmas.

Last christmas story:

I was working the early shift and was the only senior staff member on my department present in the store. Being Christmas there was a considerable line at the tills even at like 9:30am and the rest of my department wasn't in yet (1 was off sick, the rest started later I had myself on the till and 2 guys sorting stock out in the back) I considered calling the other guys out of the back to help deal with the line but figured what the hell it's 5 people long, by the time I get on the phone to the others and get them out here I could serve 3 and have it under control. One of the cash office girls was also at the counter checking for some missing money in a till, she can't actually serve on the tills it's not in her job description. This 6'6 burly black english guy comes over demanding that he wants to be served by her right then. She's explaining that she can't serve and he will just have to wait a few moments for me to serve him at the back of the line (he's completely cut the line too) he starts getting abusive towards her. I calmly finish my transaction before turning to him and have the following discussion (paraphrased slightly to remove the numerous racist comments from him directed at myself and my colleague and the unnecessary swearing)

me: "You realize that being rude to my colleagues or to me will not get you served?"
him: "I don't care I want to buy this dvd"
me: "I don't think you quite understood your position right now, I am the authorised cashier here, I am also the most senior staff member on this department right now and I am excercising my statutory rights to refuse service on the grounds of you being rude. Please put the stock down and leave the store now before I call security and have you removed"
him: "You don't want my money, you need my money you're losing out here"
me: "I'm fairly certain that HMV doesn't need the £7 for your Justin Bieber dvd...in fact there's a 13 year old girl just over there I'm 100% certain that if I offered her the chance to buy that dvd she'd buy it. What part of the sentence where I essentially told you to piss off did you not understand?"
him: "I want to complain about your treatment of me. Give me the customer services number and your name!"
me: "Thats fine it's on the back of this piece of till roll. You're welcome to make a formal complaint and when you do I will use the name and address and contact details you give to Customer Services to file a formal complaint about you with the police concerning the verbal abuse and threats of violence which under British law constitutes a crime. Have a good day"

The customer walked out without the stock and didn't take the customer services number either. We never heard from him again.

Recently I had another good one:

Guy walks in with a pair of Beats Tours (£139.99 earphones) which he claims are faulty. My colleague passes him on to me since I am the senior sales in charge at that time. The guy walks over and starts trying to give me trout from the first moment he opens his mouth saying that Stratford sent him to us to get an exchange on the Tours and he wanted a new pair. I've inspected the earphones and take a look at his receipt his earphones are damaged near the jack head and it's physical damage something not covered by the limited warranty. I ask him if he's got the accidental damage warranty we sell to cover stuff like this. He didn't and starts going on "Just give me an exchange" the receipt was about 7 - 9 months old I am well within my discretionary powers to authorize the exchange if I want to, but it's my choice. Because the guy was acting like a dick and being aggressive I refused the exchange.

I think the moral of the story is be nice to the staff in stores because if you treat us like trout we might not be selling you food that we can spit on but we can be bloody difficult and if you're after a favour from us be especially nice!

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Originally Posted by KaiserDragon

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Originally Posted by sharkythesharkdogg

I was yelled at for giving out the money and then yelled at for giving out the
money for very similar situations.

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A typo? lol you got yelled out for giving out the money, twice xD

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:p Indeed a typo. I was referring to similar situations where I felt the person either did or didn't deserve the money and whether or not my reasoning was sound seemed to be less of a concern then how angry they were when they called corporate complaining.

This is why I'm always nice to people. Unfortunately these assholes make you guys angry so you get troutty with me and I tell you to get smurfed and then I'm the bad guy :(

Yeah NEDs (Non Educational Delinquent) as we call them in Scotland we try to avoid them I remember when I worked in Clintons and the shutting down sale started all the vultures appeared trying to get things for £1. Junkie's are worse though and one time a Junkie came in saying her Mum's shopping burst and she needed a bag and since we were really busy I just gave her a bag not knowing she was a shoplifter. >.< She went into Dorothy Perkins next door and filled the bag with clothes but she knew security were watching so when she left she threw the bag back inside the shop. What a chancer! xD

I took a call one time when I used to work at Pizza Pipeline. Chick was being a proper bitch and refused to answer the mandatory questions I needed to ask when someone orders a smurfing pizza. Name, phone number, address, that kind of crap. I also happened to be making her pizza.

I swear on my life, the fly landed on the pizza of its own accord. I responded, of course, by smashing a slice of pepperoni on top of it with much gusto. It was a sign from God. Who am I to ignore God?

Apparently Eric is an instrument for God's wrath.

POP QUIZ KIDS

TODAY YOU ARE CALLING ME BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FIND A PAYMENT YOU PROCESSED AND BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION IT WENT TO THE WRONG ACCOUNT.

I TELL YOU TO LOOK UP THE PAYMENT BY DOLLAR AMOUNT AND DUE DATE

WHICH FIELDS DO YOU MODIFY?

http://i43.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:...u:/28btpg5.jpg

Customer information :3

Location.

Julian doesn't just flog the dead horse - he brutally sodomises it.

Literal and figurative ofc.

Both of you can go to hell.

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Originally Posted by demondude

Julian doesn't just flog the dead horse - he brutally sodomises it.

Literal and figurative ofc.

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Missed you too, babycakes. :kiss:

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Originally Posted by Peegee

Both of you can go to hell.

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<3