It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a generic superhero thread!

If you were a superhero, what would you be called?

I had to do this for a Creative Writing class and write story on it.

I would be La Bard. My powers would be that of mesmerizing music and poetry, capable of convincing people to do what I wanted them to do. By the day, under my secret identity, I would use my acting and musical career to help get private access to the corrupt happening in Broadway.

I got a B. Still feel like she was being a bit generous. I did attach a smurfing awesome costume design to it, though.

So, what would your superhero persona be?

I am the Devil's Advocate

I argue evildoers to death. They cannot win because I don't really have a position. Just when their minds begin to crack I tell them that I agreed with them all along, and that's all it takes to turn them into sniveling piles of impotence. I moonlight as an old guy who trolls forums on the internet, mediating arguments and making everyone feel like they're right. So I'm a good troll. My costume would be a black & white suit.
My arch-enemy would be Grayman.

I am the Rabbit

I look like a viera cause I am one.

also I can summon creatures of the forest and junk to keel you
see my sig for deets

I am Bitchy McBitcherson, a BAMFy gal clad in jeans, band t-shirt and an insatiable rage welling up from my inadequacies. I fight evildoers by yelling at them from my car or just beat them senseless with their own limbs.

My alter ego is Sweet Rage McGhee, a nice enough girl until you cross her and then she basically does to you what Bitchy McBitcherson does to evildoers.

Evildoers.

Am...am I an evildoer, foa?

Clearly you are part of the do-gooder gang. We're kind of like the Justice League except SO MUCH cooler.

You're our captain, La Bard! Hurray for a captain with talents!

Indeed! Let us smite evil and defend the weak, Bitchy McBitherson!

I am Impossibletodie Man. He is basically indestructible and nothing can bring him to harm. He doesn't really put his powers to any use though.

By day he is Marmaduke Bagglehole. An insurance salesman with consistently poor sales performance.

By night he is Impossibletodie Man who suffers from severe depression. He has tried to kill himself many times but fails miserably due to his indestructibility.

If I squeeze my big toe really hard, I can shoot pus from it several feet.

They call me... White Lightning.

I don't leave the house specifically so I know I'll never have to be saved by White Lightning.

That's pretty gross, yo.

My superhero name would be Winston. I don't know what my powers would be, don't really care, I would use anything as an excuse to go by the name Winston.

If Winston was taken, then it would be Desmond. If that was taken you can take your super powers and shove them somewhere unpleasant. :colbert:

I am Invincible Dak, and my abilities include being reckless and having an uncanny tendency to avoid being injured. On those odd occasions where I don't live up to my name, I need a HealerGirl to save me. Any takers?

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Originally Posted by Jiro

I am Invincible Dak, and my abilities include being reckless and having an uncanny tendency to avoid being injured. On those odd occasions where I don't live up to my name, I need a HealerGirl to save me. Any takers?

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Fine I'll be your HealerGirl, but there is to be no romantic contact of any sort or I will inject you with cyanide while you sleep. Also, no miniskirts.

Sorry, any superhero with "girl" in their name is contractually obligated to wear a miniskirt.

i am a comic superjester. my comic book incarnation would be m. chan everyman

fine, I'll wear the miniskirt, but I'm not doing any physicals. Also, I get to choose the color of my underwear and left sock or no deal.

Hypo, you're weird.

Thank you. It is my goal to be so strange that the universe spits me out and I land in an alternate universe where I am a viera.

Coincidentally, he was on the money with the one sock idea. It's a thigh high one.

Mid or low thigh? I choose purple.

If I had to choose between death and being saved by you two, then I would choose death.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

If I had to choose between death and being saved by you two, then I would choose death.

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Too bad it isn't up to you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

If I had to choose between death and being saved by you two, then I would choose death.

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Too bad it isn't up to you.

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Oh but it is, because he's Choice Man, able to make decisions without a single thought. His arch-nemesis:

Women

all of them.






Because they can't make up their damn minds.


They're indecisive in other words.








And change their minds frequently.




And don't tell you about it.

And expect you to know.

Because you're supposed to be psychic...just like them.

Aha, we meet again, Slightly Sexist Man.

Oh no! Not Feminist Jim, defender of the weak!

I...

I can't fight your...

your powerfully obnoxious political correctness.

my weakness...


geh
(that's my death gasp, it's pronounced "gay")

*throws foa at you*

That's a highly dangerous proposition, villain. Either you're not aware of what Slightly Sexist man might do with a girl like that or that's not foa at all. I smell a trap. En garde foul demon! Let the penis fencing begin!

Seriously, I came came across that link a few days ago while studying the history of fencing. I don't know how I got there, but I did. It shook the very foundation of my existence.
I had to share it with the rest of you.
Learn, young ones, learn.

Quote:

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The sperm is absorbed through pores in the skin, causing fertilization in the "loser," who becomes the mother.

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Rofl, even Feminist Jim had to laugh at that.

I can't decide which is best: La Bard or Winston. Probably Winston 'cause I think it's funny that Psy wants to go by the name of Cid's dog.

I have decided that my super hero name would be... Hmm... Captain Vengence. Oo, yeah, that's unisexy.

If you want generic, there's no hero sexier than Captain Hammer.

Captain Hammer: You've got a little crush, don't you, Doc. Well, that's gonna make this hard to hear. See, later, I'm gonna take little Penny back to my place. Show her the command center, Hammercycle, maybe even the Hamjet. You think she likes me now? I'm gonna give Penny the night of her life, just because you want her. And I get what you want. See, Penny's giving it up, she's giving it up hard. Cause she's with Captain Hammer. And these...
[Hammer holds up his fists]
Captain Hammer: ...are not the hammer.

[Hammer walks out of the shot for a sec then walks back in]

Captain Hammer: The hammer is my penis.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ShlupQuack

Probably Winston 'cause I think it's funny that Psy wants to go by the name of Cid's dog.

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:colbert:

Besides if Psy was going to be a superhero he would probably call himself Ian Rush and run around showing off a glorious moustache or something.

Oh you assholes and your smurfing gaylover matching bulltit. I hate you.

Hey man that's offensive. The term is life partners.

HPG - Hypocritical Pyromaniac Guy. Fighting fire with fire!

Not bad, man. Not bad at all.