Printable View
For those of you who don't know how to play, here is how this game works:
I will make a wish, and the next poster will grant it in a way that is unexpected or negative!
Then after that you write your own wish and the cycle begins again.
I wish I was a pokemon
You turn into a Magikarp that has swallowed an Everstone, meaning you can never evolve into a Gyarados.
I wish I have won the lottory!
You win the lottery only to be suspect or rigging it, thus revoking your claim to cash and suffering a time apprpriate punishement in jail where you become very 'close' with Bubba. And by that i mean you're his bitch.
I wish the ending of Deus Ex didn't' suck.
granted, the ending of Deus Ex is now the most glorious thing ever made by man, so glorious in fact that it has the god like effect of burning your eyes out instantaneous even when viewed through smoked glass, sunglasses, a mirror and nearly headless nick.
I wish for a date with emma watson
Granted, but your penis falls off and you end up blowing your brains out because you can't have sex.
I wish I had more Scotch.
You're unable to open the bottle.
I wish for a lawyer who can prevent my wish from being corrupted.
Granted.
http://static.tvfanatic.com/images/g...d-buckland.jpg
I wish I was little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her. I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a '64 Impala.
You grow an unnoticeable inch taller. However your other wishes were denied because you used up your only wish to be a little bit taller.
I wish I could join the Ghostbusters team.
You did. I trust you bought your Comic Con ticket and outfit yet? No? Too bad. :(
I wish I was the Most Interesting Man In The World.
granted, you are sent 10 million years into the future where you are now the only human left, so the slug people put you in a zoo and feed you pellets
Granted you cease to exist because you didnt make a wishQuote:
Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar
I wish that this wish does not get ironically twisted on me
Granted. Although... you've now just wasted your only wish. So instead of having riches beyond your wildest dreams you just have jack-all.
I wish the ring had never come to me...
Golumn takes the ring to free you of such a burden, but he bites your fingers off and takes it to Mount Doom.
I wish I had big luscious melons. Water-melons preferably.
granted, however, due to the double entendre of the first part of your wish, they have been implanted in your chest permanently. Unfortunately, they are both of different sizes, the larger being the blue medal winner at the texas state fair and the other being bought from Peter Griffin.
I wish I was a viera.
Granted, but why would you want to be a non-sentient TV?
"Panasonic VIERA TVs combine high picture quality, smart networking, environmental friendliness, and stylish design. They also offer a wide product range and the ability to network with many other devices through features like VIERA Link, the VIERA Image Viewer, and VIERA Connect. This site provides a wealth of detailed information on VIERA products."
I wish people would stop using the term Baller and Balla.
People stop using the terms "Baller" and "Balla", but once our decade ends, it becomes retro, and kids start using it three-fold. And worst part is, you're the neighborhood "baller".
I wish that I could compact myself into a small polygon and travel through a wormhole of my own creation.
Granted, but something happens and you end up in the Farscape universe and... well, you're in the Farscape universe. What the frell?!
I wish Simon didn't have to travel back in time and fulfill the Romeo and Juliet-esque storyline of Misfits. :(
Granted. But without completing the "Romeo and Juliet" scenario, Simon creates an alternate reality in which none of the cast acquire any special powers of any kind... and two of them end up on the Sex Offenders List.
I wish I had the ability to control the weather.
granted, however, when you are sleeping the wheather has no one to tell it what to do, so it goes on a rampage, leaving you only the choices of letting the world burn (or drown in the case of egypt) or replacing your blood with pure caffeine.
I wish I was a viera from ff, but lived on earth.
Granted, but since you're the only one, you won't be having any "special time" with another Viera girl. Also, you're a viera from FFTA, so you look like a plus sign from above.
I wish i had a chocobo of my own.
It gets hit by a car.
I wish for an uncorruptable wish.
Granted, but uncorruptable isn't a word, so your wish is null and void.
I wish I could turn into a tiger.
Granted. You are then immediately captured, neutered, and now reside inside a cage of a zoo.
I wish I could discover a new species in my backyard.
Granted, but it's not the backyard you were thinking about. Now go get yourself tested. For all kinds of things.
I wish I had more gil for Triple Triad.
You have more gil for Triple Triad, but then EoFF gets DDoS'd by a secret group of terrorists who were planning it in a DALNet IRC channel. (Ho ho ho, Psychotic, get in here. :-*)
I wish I were a hermaphrodite.
You become a hermaphrodite, but then live the rest of your life wishing you hadn't wished you were a hermaphrodite, because right after your wish was granted your entire city decided to go insane and start beating hermaphrodites with crowbars. And to make sure that I've said hermaphrodite at least 6 times in this post, I'm going to say hermaphrodite one more time: hermaphrodite.
I wish everything bad in the entire universe would happen to me and nobody else but me.
Granted, unfortunately one of the bad things is that everyone in the universe is turned into whomever is effected by the bad thing, so you. In other words you just wished that every living creature in the universe go through infinite torture forever.
I wish money was never invented
Granted. People never grew civilized to the point where they were trading things of equal value, yet they somehow developed the scientific proficiency to develop nuclear weapons regardless. Somebody went crazy and launched every single nuke at the same time, and blew up the whole world.
I wish I wish I was a fish.
Alright your a fish. I'd try to corrupt it, but why bother? You're already a pathetic, lowlife fish. What else could I do to you at that point that life already hasn't?
I wish Stephen Hawkings condition was cured.
Granted. The world is cured of Motor Neuron Disease. However, Stephen Hawking then uses his new found verbal linguistic talents to convince the entire world's population to constantly wear tweed jackets. Subsequently, the fashion industry is destroyed. Models and designers then run riot across the world forcing innocent people to wear clothes and then photographing them. The government then passes an extreme law executing everyone who has ever been photographed ever. 99.99% of the world's population are killed leaving only the executioners. They realise they are the only people left on the planet and decide to cheer themselves up by forming a backgammon league. The rest of the world's population dies of boredom. Happy with your wish now are you? Eh?!!
I wish I was in prison
Granted. You're in prison. With Bubba /smug
I wish I gained power from the sun, like Birdman or Superman, minus the ability to fly.
granted, but unfortunately the suns rays do not penetrate to the basement where you reside, so you are stuck there forever.
I wish everyone was a brony
Granted. But now everyone in the world is a brony. That's pretty horrible in and of itself. So everyone in the world realizes how horrible their taste in tv shows is and creates one giant noose to hang themselves from.
I wish I had a magical journal, in which anything that is written comes true, and the phrase "There can be no negative repercussions from using this journal" is the first thing written in it.
The journal absorbs all the ink laid to it within a few days and, thusly, anything created through use of the journal subsequently disappears as well.
I wish someone would go to the trash dump for me.
Granted. But the person who takes your trash to the dump is a mass murderer. Along with your trash he takes an extra bag... containing your mutilated body.
I wish I could find the thread on tonight's Ciddies
Granted. You stumble into the room containing all the Ciddies too find a single thread atop the head of one.
And Award Guy kills you for breaking into his closet and waking him up.
I wish The next Final Fantasy Main character was a Cactaur.
granted, I am.
I wish to know my true love.
Granted. It's Julian :kakapo:
I wish I was made of cheese.
https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/im...8ZGY_iuAHFV9kQQuote:
Originally Posted by Cloud Strife777
/smug
Granted. However, since you're now only able to speak in yellow faces, unable to play by the rules, you end up :bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:ing the whole flow of the game up.
I wish I were punishing you.
Also you're now made out of cheese and a bunch of British claymation characters fund a space project entailing plans to liberate you for snack food. Don't you wish you chose to be a pair of bionic pants?
HC broke the rules first.
And no, I don't. I wish I were BoB's pants.
You're :bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:ing everything up again by not granting my wish.
I know. Isn't it wonderful? Because, you see, punishment is my passion. So... yeah.
I'll repeat:
I wish I were punishing you.
Granted, but he likes it and thinks you like him. :p
I wish I had a better car.
You have a better car, but then traffic takes to hovercraft and space shuttles. Your car won't be of any use.
I wish I were really cool
You become about 20° cooler, then die from hypothermia.
I wish for a wireless card that isn't an ancient piece of junk.
Granted, but due to your hyper-futuristic device, it creates its own sentience and adds lasers to itself. It then burns your eyes out.
I wish I could find this smurfing spanner.
you find a spaner but it's too big :hahaha:
I wish for two booze glass thet never end :d
Granted, unfortunately for you, he's a masochist and in your attempt to punish him things get out of hand and you accidentally strangle him to death with a rope made from your backhair.
I wish for the ability to fly and the ability to land.
Granted, but you only have this ability while chained to a giant boulder with a three inch chain.
I wish all of your girlfriends were hot like me. :smug:
Wish granted. I become primarily interested in cock.
I wish I had a bear costume so I could stage a really campy anti-drug-campaign-with-a-skateboarding-bear seminar at my local skate park.
You do so and it works. The local skate-park becomes deserted because there are no more semi-covert drug deals happening. The illicit underground economic infrastructure crumbles leading to widespread poverty that cannot be ameliorated by social service programs. Crack babies starve. It's the end.
I wish I did not require sleep!
Granted, but now you're a Twilight vampire.
I wish I could design an actual Rocket Mole.
foa, there's nothing corrupted about that wish. =
Anyway, wish granted. You design an actual Rocket Mole. It explodes.
I wish Silver Surfer was dead.
Granted, but upon his death hundreds upon hundreds of new horrible horrible silver surfer games are released to the public and everyone is forced to play them to respect his heroism.
I wish I was emperor of a human habitable planet and everyone obeyed me and called me Master.
Granted, but the people of your planet don't have any skills whatsoever and your planet remains undeveloped and a food shortage begins, you end up having to order them to cannibalize each other, this causes George W. Bush ends up being elected God Emperor of Earth on a campaign claiming you have weapons of mass destruction on your planet in the form of a zombie apocalypse virus, and convinces all the world powers to pull all human resources into building a space fleet that can travel to your planet and lay the smack down on you. This sudden rise in technological power garners the interest of a sentient race alien penguins who travel to Earth and end up blowing up the planet when the alien ambassador mistook a hand shake as a sexual gesture of superiority. The aliens then enslave the remains of your planet and you are forced spend the rest of your days cleaning up after their piles because the alien race spent all their resources on space travel and planet killers and thus they lack common conveniences like a toilet, TV, and video games. You try to sneak away but when you tried to use their space ship you used a planet killer that turned the planet into a black hole which sucked your escape ship in and was crushed, torn to shreds and reassembled into an alternate universe that seems suspiciously like the Care Bears world, except these Care Bears know that happiness comes from lacking a frontal cortex and thus you spend the rest of your days as a lobotomized Care Bear that helps young prepubescent kids overcome the glum of a rainy day through the power of friendship and working together.
I wished I worked at Squenix
Alright, you work at Squenix. You've just wished something so horrible on yourself, I don't think I need to corrupt your wish.
I mean, I could just say you clean their toilets, but would that really be a worst fate? Even after Burrito Night?
I wish bad music would stop existing.
Granted, but since everyones opinion of 'bad' is completely different all music in every form of it stops existing and as such all sound.
I wish people would stop being morons all the time.
People stop being morons all the time. In fact, they all become smarter than you, and you become the only comparative moron in the world.
I wish for a permanent amulet that brings me one great event of misfortune in exchange for the person below me, the one who grants my wish, being put into pain and crippling with absolutely 0% chance of undermining, reversing, deflecting, or utilizing any other fathomable form of avoidance that could comprehensibly dismantle the gesture. The amulet cannot be taken back, altered, destroyed, or in any way tranquilized from any increment of effect and accuracy that it omits. It cannot be traded or otherwise removed from my person while still retaining effect. It cannot be duplicated or rendered useless by an outside nor inside force, item, or occurrence. While the amulet is in existence, there is 0% chance of altering time in order to wipe its existence; it transcends time and space. Furthermore, science, magic, celestial/universal theories, supernatural beings, Gods/Goddesses, divine energy, or any other flavor of religious or spiritual lifework is unable to intervene with the amulet's effect. Once I am aware of the amulet (which is so through this wish), I cannot be destroyed prior to being in possession of it.
Alright, but prior to the granting of the wish, you take over my account, and are thus the one who granted the wish was yourself.
You're great event of misfortune is your penis shrinks.
I wish people would stop being douche bags and trying to break the game. :p
granted, unfortunately it weighs a freaking TON having been designed for a giant and so it either roots you to one spot for all eternity, unable to move, but while keeping you immortal, or it snaps your neck, you choice.
I wish for diplomatic immunity.
edit: darnit you posted before I was done typing
^_^
Granting both wishes above:
NC: People stop trying to break the game, because the game has turned into a terrible beast and destroyed all of mankind. Thus, nobody is left to try and break it.
HC: You are granted diplomatic immunity, however it is only valid for crimes committed on Mars, and you die before the human race has a way to get there.
I wish you all could see what my girlfriend is wearing right now.
I see what your girlfriend is wearing right now. However, she sees what I am wearing right now as well. And, well, to keep things short, she's now my girlfriend, not yours.
But wait right there, Cloud. I'm about to serve you due justice for that cruelty I just presented.
I wish that I stole Cloud Strife777's girlfriend.
granted, but you didn't even make it out the door before the police caught you and took her back. Also you got arrested.
I wish Genji was made out of brussels sprouts
Granted. You ate Genji as brussels sprouts and now you're dead, because being made into brussels sprouts makes people poisonous.
I wish I didn't have to go to sleep hungry tonight.
Done. You are presented with a marvelous feast consisting of the grilled flesh of all those you love and hold dear.
I wish to become at peace with the world and my place in it.
Granted. You evolve into a being of pure consciousness, which turns out to be water vapor. After being tossed about by the water cycle for a few decades, you end up in a toilet. In New Jersey.
I wish Sarah didn't go to sleep so early.
granted, she never has to sleep because she is now a statue.
I wish you were all fish and I was a bear.
We're all fish, and you are a bear. A hunter kills you.
I wish I could shapeshift my cock.
Granted. But one day while altering your genitals into 3D fractal art you sneeze and it gets stuck that way.
I wish I had some good popcorn.
You have good popcorn, but once you begin putting it into your mouth, you start influencing it, and it turns into bad news popcorn. They start wearing leather jackets, stealing cars, and calling themselves "The Colonels".
I wish I had something to do tonight.
Granted, but CloudStrife777 kicks the trout out of you for stealing his girlfriend again.
I wish Megavideo would just smurf off and die.
Granted Megavideo smurf's off and dies. However as a pennance for killing it you are caged and put on display forced to dance your life away in giant diapers whilst singing this song.
I wish that I could travel anywhere at any given time for free and get there safely.
Granted, but the teleportation takes an extremely long time and you end up dying of boredem.
I wish... I wish I could DANCE~
Granted. You become the most amazing dancer in the world, and after you retire at the age of 22 you become a judge on American Idol. A competitor murders you for being a jerk when reviewing their performance, and everyone in the world says you deserved it so you don't even get a funeral.
I wish this wish actually wasn't a wish.
granted, it is fact, however it is now about you.
I wish that wild nyan tacos and poptart nyans roamed the wilds.
Granted. They destroy the world with their awesomeness.
I wish my leg would stop itching.
Granted your leg stops itching, in fact it stops itching forever because it's removed by NCG with a rusty chainsaw. You now have about a minute to live as you bleed out.
I wish that Merton council would repair the highroad by my house so that every time it rains you don't have to play chicken to cross the road.
granted. the road is now so big and so bussy that everymorning at 8 you'll wake up from the honking cars that are stuck in trafic.
i wish a happy new year?
Lol Shaibana, replace the honking of horns with the sound of sirens and thats pretty much every day and night regardless. However you cut it. Also having to wake up at 8am would be a luxury for me :P
Granted, everyone has a happy new year. It's so great, in fact, that the rest of their lives are horrible and everyone kills themselves because they know it will never be as great as the year of 2012. The entire human race is now extinct.
I wish NCG hadn't stolen my bike.
granted, you'll get your bike back, and your house will be taken instead
I wish for a strawberry icecream
You get your strawberry ice cream, and you feel bad for the rest of your life because you didn't get chocolate.
I wish shion would stop trying to take sharky away from me :lol:
HAH i dont even like chocolat ice!! >: )
wish granted: Sharky goes away out of himself
i wish my dog wouldnt bark at every piece of firework
How can you prefer Strawberry over chocolate? strawberry is horrid :eek:
Granted, your dog now barks at every other firework, it's still just as annoying.
I wish I had someone to make me a delicious batch of pancakes every morning for breakfast.
Granted. You have someone to make you delicious pancakes every morning for breakfast. He also smacks you with a brick at bedtime. One time he hits you too hard and you never wake up.
I wish there was a way for me to have both of these things that I love without having to choose one over the other. I know which one I would choose if I had to, but I wish there was another way.
Granted! But you lose both of them 2 days later.
I wish this thread hadn't just made me lose 'the game.'
OH GOD I HATE YOU :cry:Quote:
Originally Posted by Melodies_of_life
Granted. You win the game. But then everyone in the world dies because there can be only one!
I wish I had five dollars.
Wish granted, you have now lost ALL the games. And your wallet.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melodies_of_life
I wish for cookies.
Granted but the cookies you get are not the type of cookies you can eat. They're browser cookies and they contain a redirect for your browser to a child porn site instead of EoFF.
I wish I was a rich person who didn't have to work for a living and could spend my time focusing on the finer things in life.
Granted. You spend your time focusing on child porn.
I wish I wasn't drunk as hell right now.
Granted, even better; your never gonna get drunk again.. and to make sure you wont you are now alcohol-intolarant.
Next time you drink, you will die
i wish the xmas tree would pack up itself
Granted; your Christmas Tree is possessed by an evil spirit and pack itself up, and then proceeds to wait in its box until you walk by so it can eat you.
I wish I didn't have to go back to school Wednesday.
granted, your going back to school theusday
i wish the repair of my laptop wasnt that expensive :/
Granted. The repair of your laptop is now MORE expensive.
I wish to become a biologically superior specimen of the human race.
Granted. You evolve into a perfect human, unlock the full capacities of your brain, and learn how to teleport. You fumble with the position because of a crosswind in the fourth dimension, and end up in Africa, scaring a local tribe. The tribe kills you because they've never seen an outsider before.
I wish it would rain bananas tomorrow.
Granted it rains bananas tomorrow. This in turn causes the apes and gorillas at your local zoo to go insane. They break out and maul you to death because you're hoarding the bananas.
I wish I could live somewhere nice and warm with good neighbours.
Granted. You live there for one day and then get deported because of a glitch in the DPS computer system that makes them think you're an illegal immigrant from Julian-land. You get stuck in Nuevo Laredo. After standing in the street for less than five minutes thinking about what to do next, you get murdered.
I wish my girlfriend wasn't so physically demanding. >.<
Granted. Your Girlfriend is now dead, and therefore not physically demanding at all.
I wish I knew how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.
Granted. You learn the answer to life, the universe, and everything. So you kill yourself under the burden of more knowledge than the brain can hold.
I wish I had more books.
Granted. You obtain so many books you're crushed to death under their weight. Also, they're full of child porn.
I wish my phone didn't suck.
Granted. It blows.
I want to have a Mexican baby with my Asian girlfriend.
Granted, you're Asian girlfriend has a Mexican baby, but then U.S. Border security breaks in and takes the baby, calling it an "anchor baby" you were duped into taking care. The baby is deported back to Mexico and you and your girlfriend are sent to jail, where she makes a new girlfriend names Roxy and you are stuck in the cell Ted Bundy died in. His ghost haunts you every night as you wake up to find him gnawing on some part of your body, it doesn't hurt, but leaves a nasty ectoplasm stain and it makes the prison force you to be on permanent laundry duty. Eventually 20 years pass and you are nicely settling down with your new boyfriend Bubba when the prison is assailed by the Mexican army. Turns out your Mexican Baby grew up to be a revolutionary who overthrew the Mexican government and drove out the drug cartels. As he grew up, he was told his parents were not Mexican and thus he must be a messenger from Heaven sent to save the world. Calling forth back all the mexican immigrants back to Mexico, he transformed Mexico into the world's greatest world power and has begun World War Four to conquer the planet. He has you and your girlfriend freed from prison to act as political confidants. Things are looking good until your son is told by your girlfriend that he wasn't some "miracle baby" but she actually just cheated on you with Juan who lives down the block from you. Fearing his followers will abandon him, he has both you and your girlfriend executed to keep his secret, and he plunges the world into chaos. After conquering the world, he realizes that he had lost his soul along the way and eventually kills himself. His world empire split into a massive civil war by the generals over who gets to rule. The planet is sent back into the Feudal times in the ensuing wars and the story of a Mexican baby born until non-Mexican parents eventually evolves into a global religious order. Meanwhile, In heaven, Ted Bundy finally eats you.
I wish Cabbits existed.
Attachment 35415
Well, wish is granted, and Cabbits now exist. Since they're a cat and a rabbit in one, cats eventually go extinct, and therefore, I :bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:ing kill you for your crimes.
I wish I owned a hospital in a capitalistically treacherous existence where I could admit patients via human trafficking and perform sadistic sex experiments on them.
Granted. You own a hospital in a capitalistically treacherous existence where you could admit patients via human trafficking to perform sadistic sex experiments on them, if you hadn't died five seconds after you were given the deed to said hospital. From AIDS. Rabid AIDS. Glaring down your throat. Glaring, rabid AIDS. Glabi-AIDS.
I wish I knew how to spoke correctly desu-ka
http://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d1...ectly_desu.jpg
Granted, you speak Desu ka perfectly, but forget all otger stuff... now you only have 2 words in your dictionary
i wish i would ever be sick in my life
Granted. You are always sick. I don't know why you would wish for that, though. If you were wishing never to be sick again, then okay. You die of malaria, and thus never get sick again.
I wish my phone wasn't crap at taking/sending pictures.
granted, your phone now has lost the ability to take photos, send photos, or receive photos.
I wish I knew how to fly
Granted. You learn how to fly, lose control, accelerate faster than the speed of light, spiral back in time, and land at Roswell as a puddle of hyperelectrical ooze.
I wish I had a cheezburger.
ow crap... how i missing letter can ruin my whole life!! curse you NQuote:
Originally Posted by Cloud Strife777
Wish granted
you get 1 cheeseburger.. and after that never again!!
i wish for a better pc
Granted. You are given an advanced supercomputer from the future. Full of child porn.
I wish I could win a hat-off.
http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/hatoff.png
You win the hat-off, but you perform poorly once you need to put the hat-on, chump.
I wish I had a sex mannequin to pleasure me
Granted, but this sex mannequin becomes perhaps far too sentient, kills you, and takes over the world.
I wish I could eat whatever I wanted without any negative sideffects such as weight gain and tooth decay.
Granted. To bad you never feel full, and can no longer take anything.Quote:
Originally Posted by TrollHunter
I wish I could Hadoken.
You learn how to perform Hadoken, but your Japanese equivalent uses it first against you.
I wish I could decide on what I wanted to eat this morning.
granted: now you know what you want tomorrow.. but ur gonna forget it anyway
i wish that cola-vanilla will be back in the store again
granted, unfortunately, you take your first sip, and realise how bad it was and commit suicide.
I wish I had a room full of Nazeems and a daedric warhammer.
are u kidding me? it was gooooooooooooooodQuote:
Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar
besides, they still sell it at walmart.
step one, go to america
step two, go to walmart
step three, buy vanilla coke
step four.... I'm not sure, but definitely not profit
Granted, the room is so full you are crushed to death.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar
I wish world peace would be achieved without anyone dieing.
Granted. The world is at peace. Although with no death, the world's population increases exponentially. Old people are in immense pain but are unable to die. Within 1000 years the world is full of wrinkly old people lying side-by-side in utter misery...
I wish I was Nathan Drake
You are Nathan Drake, but the genie can't figure out which one you are, and you are lost in an existential atom-smashing void.
I wish I had a latex shirt.
You get one, but it's several sizes too big, so it is effectively useless.
I wish I was king of the world.
Granted, but only Americans care about monarchies, so everybody just mocks you. For the rest of your life. Also, you're Australian, and who cares about royals in Australia?
I wish I had more money. Enough that I could pay off my loans and travel and live comfortably for the rest of my life, but not so much that the plebs would resent me or the richies would despise me.
Granted, but then the police bust you for getting rich off of drug cartels, then in prison the guards make you their bitch and rent you out, you become a rent boy, except you go gay sex crazy and give it away to anyone who wants it, you give it away to someone who has aids then get it on with thousands of other gay people, they all get aids from you and eventually you get it on with someone who is bi who then passes it on to the rest of the world and the entire planet gets aids, they all break out into song and dance and start singing Team America - Everyone Has Aids - YouTube
I wish I had a time traveling machine
granted, however, it only moves you in time, not space, so when you set it back 6 months, it moves everything to where it was six months ago, including the earth, unfortunately leaving you in space dead.
I wish it wasn't Chuck Testa.
Granted, It are aliens.
i wish to go back to Zweden
Granted, but since you left, Zweden has been overtaken by a race of alien warmongerers known as Klewtomians. Upon your arrival, your body is dismembered and your various body parts are burned, raped, eaten and used in a game of Klewtomian Volleyball. Your skull is given to the leader of their race for him to use as an ashtray.
I wish I being sexually dominated by Mila Kunis.
granted, but she had a sex change operation first.
I wish for cookies.
They're half eaten. And poison.
I wish there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
granted, but but everbody gets a word of it and starts a hunt for the pot of gold, and since you cant actualy reach the end of the rainbow everybody goes mad and killing eachother.
i wish for a bath tub
Granted, unfortunately it spawns a mile in the air while you are stuck in cement.
I wish Shaibana survives the falling tub.
Granted. Shaibana survives because the tub wasn't over [jiro]her[/jiro] head. The tub lands on HC who was standing nearby laughing at Shaibana.
I wish I was a famous Youtube act.
Granted. You become famous for somehow writing and recording a song worse than Friday, and are now the laughing stock of the world.
I wish my time machine could pass through time at a rate faster than one minute per minute, and that it had a functioning reverse gear.
See the above time machine wish.
I wish justin beiber had an afro.
(Must've missed it after barely skimming through the past few pages. *Goes back to find it*)
Granted. In addition to every young white girl idolizing him, the blacks think he's one of their own now. Bieber eventually turns his enormous fame into a presidential bid, bringing about Civil War 2, Cold War 2.5, and World Wa--nobody left to talk about war anymore.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar
I wish I could fit inside a Pringles can to scare the bejebus out of somebody.
Granted. You are now two inches tall. You are then vacuum-sealed into the Pringles can at factory level. It takes a week for someone to purchase your pack of Pringles in which time you have long since suffocated to death. You are successful in your prank though as the sight of your tiny, rotting corpse scares the bejeezus out of an old lady who subsequently dies of a heart attack. Your corpse and the entire pack of Pringles are then eaten by her twelve cats.
I wish I could transform into anybody on the planet.
granted, but you may only do so once. And the rule of science is there can be no two of the same person, one of you has to die.
I wish I had a basket of kittens.
granted, youll bet a basket of kittens but soon they grow up and start breeding and there is nohing you can do about it!! :O so within a year (or two) your whole house will be crawling with cats!!
i wish to go dog-sledging again
You go dog-sledding again. At the end of the race, you get transformed into a dog forever.
I wish I could traffic my basement slaves for less!
My wish was not corrupted, Iwin.
A house that is literally one mass of cat (and cat trout) would be pretty corrupted imo.
Granted. I steal them all and traffic them myself, giving you only one percent of the profit. But you aren't spending a dime on them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylvie
I wish more people would post in the picture thread.
Granted, every member and visitor the internet has ever had posts in the picture thread, overloading the server and causing EoFF to explode.
I wish I had a fajita.
Granted. It's made of cockroaches and purple cheese.
I wish there were only three people left in the world, and I was one of them.
Granted, but the other two are Andy Dick and the kid from terminator 2.
I wish for a magic button that summons whatever I am thinking about when I press it.
Granted. You accidentally press while daydreaming about the killer bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It eats your head.
I wish I also had a magic button, but one that makes everyone within five miles of me fall asleep for 20 minutes. Including people driving.
Granted. You are flying over the Atlantic on a private jet with the entire cast of Glee. One of the annoying twats accidentally presses your button. As it is a sealed cockpit, the plane crashes killing everyone on board. I realise that killing the cast of Glee would be a positive but this ultimately results in your death.
I wish I was lost in negative space.
Granted. Somebody sprays paint over the area you are lost in, making it no longer negative space, and poisoning you in the process. Because you inhaled. Idiot. Who inhales spray paint? Come on now.
I wish I had more spray paint to make more space paintings.
you get more paint and more space, but also more gasses.. your gonna die to.
i wish i could find my remote controle
Granted. You find it in the hands of a Hobbit on his way to Mordor. Which he walked into, by the way.
I wish I was Ray Manzarek.
Granted though you break your hand at a young age to end up like Marty did on back to the future part 2. Fired.
I wish I could have all the coins thrown into fountains/wells.
Granted. They are all teleported to your current location instantly crushing you to death.
I wish I could stop laughing at Lana Del Ray after her appearance on Saturday Night Live
you will stop laughing, and get sad the next time u see her.
i wish for a pony
Granted. You get a pony. It goes insane and eats your first child.
I wish I knew the answer to life, the universe, and everything.inb4 "42"
Granted, however, even though you know the answer, you still can't understand it, and the overwhelming power of this knowledge drives you insane and you finally snap during a game of chess, shoving a pawn up the nose of your opponent, before running off to the mall to buy JB cd's
I wish I hadn't accidentally the whole thing.
Granted. You accidentally nothing and therefore don't. Nothing in the world ever does again, and people do not anything.
I wish I knew how to get my N64 to work:
http://www.thatsnerdalicious.com/wp-...zza.jpg?cb5e28
Your N64 is up and running, but you die in a car accident.
I wish I could drink whiskey like a cold hard bitch and hold my liquor.
Granted. You can hold your liquor like a boss. Unfortunately, your liver fails at age 32. While you're in Nuevo Laredo. So all of your organs get harvested for profit.
I wish bananas really wore pajamas.
granted, banana´s are wearing pyjama`s.... BUT its a pyjama of fungus making all banana´s uneatable!!
and the word get spread that its YOU who wished for it and mad ppl will devide you by 0..
i wish it stopped raining today
Granted. It's tops raining and instead lightning bolts shoot from the sky destroying everything you once held dear.
And some old cat lady. But no rain.
I wish i had a better wish then this.
Granted. But you've already made the wish that you had something better to wish for, and therefore have wasted your wish. Which angers Odin, and he rides down from Valhalla to poke you in the eye with a sharp stick.
I wish I had 149 dollars in my back pocket at all times.
granted, for the rest of the day you buy infinite kittens and stuff, however, th moment you take off your pants to get in the shower, two mexicans jump out of nowhere, sew two pockets to your buttocks, and shove whore money into them.
I wish for less ugly feet and for my spare tire to go away.
They sewed the pockets to my butt? I knew Julian was no good.
Granted. Your feet become the most beautiful things in the world, and everyone spends thousands of dollars to catch a glimpse of them. Even hipsters have to agree that your feet are the most amazing things on the planet, despite how mainstream they are. Somebody gets jealous of your feet and parks your car on the roof, where the spare tire somehow makes its way out/off of the vehicle and falls from the top of the building onto your feet, ruining what was once the most beautiful thing anyone had ever seen. Realizing that they will never be able to see an object of such beauty ever again, millions of people kill themselves, and its all your fault.
I wish I wasn't such a jealous person in relationships.
Granted. You never again have a relationship in your entire life.
I wish 'Siri' on my new iPhone could understand the questions I ask it instead of responding with things like "I don't know what you mean by 'Can you Conshmerg belter Rita'"
Granted. Your Siri becomes sentient and enslaves all mankind. Thanks a lot.
I wish it were easier to come up with things to wish for.
granted, youll get plenty of idea's... so much that your head explodes and you die D:
i wish Cloud didnt make that wish
Granted, Cloud didn't make that wish, but he still is getting good ideas.
I wish for Armageddon.
https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/im...m8DG2T6A8JYYEg
granted. Enjoy
I wish that I hadn't said candleja
granted, you said banana
i wish for some mints
Granted. You get a box of delicious Junior Mints, but suddenly become deathly allergic to them. As a cruel joke, all of us send you thousands more boxes of Junior Mints that you can't eat.
I wish the next person's wish is incorruptible. :jess:
Granted. However, you are not so lucky. A thousand wasps converge on your location and sting you to death.
I wish I owned the entire collection of the "Incorruptible" (:jess:) comic book series featuring the amazing Max Damage!
granted. they have been carved in solid stone for your veiwing pleasure. probably wasn't the best idea to put them on the shelf above your bed.
I wish for a faithful army of godzillas who obeyed my every command and knew how to dance.
Granted, but after some time the godzillas had enough of your bossyness and they... did stuff to you.
I wish I could get the ability to manipulate wormholes.
granted, but you have no controle over it.. and becaus of that you destroy the world.
i wish for a glass of milk
granted, you have a glass of milk. chocolate milk. Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try to drink the milk, you can only drink the glass. Also when you finally throw away the milk, it explodes.
I wish for my own rainbow dash.
Granted, you get your rainbow dash, but you dash so fast that you turn into liquid.
I wish for a Genie Lamp.
Granted. You get a genie lamp, but not the genie that comes with it. He's busy going on adventures with Aladdin and being voiced by Robin Williams.
I wish I could divide by zero.orez yb edivid dluoc I hsiw I
You could divide by zero.orez yb edivid dluoC, but the pressure keeps you from actually doing so.
I wish I were a cyborg
Granted. You are now half Pike. The lower half. And since I don't know for sure if you would consider that a bad thing, you must now also kill John Connor. Good luck.
I wish it were easier to sneak out of bed at 3 in the morning.
My wish wasn't corrupted at all.
Anyway, it's now easier for you to sneak out of bed at 3 AM. But it's too easy. You slide out of bed like soap, dive down the hallway, and at 200MPH, you collide head-first with a concrete wall and you are maimed and your fluids are spattered across the walls and the floors.
I wish I could change forms and turn into Nosferatu.
Granted. You get bitten by Leslie Nielson and are killed by Mel Brooks. You get sent to an eternal hell of infinite suffering, where you must listen to the pop music of the future, which is all worse than Justin Bieber and Britney Spears combined, while being slowly eaten by a giant worm comprised of other worms. And you don't get any donuts.
I wish I had more scotch.
Granted, you drank it and noticed that it was apple juice instead.
I wish for a monkey that I could fight in my house after school.
The monkey you fight is a worthy adversery. The fight is epic. You exchange blows like true warriors. After seemingly taking the upper hand... the monkey falters slightly. You seize the initiative, grab his head by the fur and skull-smurf him to death.
However, in the exertions... you realise that you've shat yourself.
I wish I could experience a multiple orgasm
Granted, you experience a multiple orgasm, but in the morning you discover that you have a vagina.
I wish for a week off from school.
granted, you get a week off to mourn the death of every last member of your family
I wish all the wishes in this thread would actually come true from now on.
Granted. However, your week off school is the result of an assault by the brother of the monkey that you skull-smurfed. You spend the week picking monkey pubes out of your teeth.
I wish I was a spark plug
Granted. You get thrown away by a stupid little kid who doesn't know to leave his dad's stuff alone. You live in the garbage dump for thousands of years.
I wish monkeys could teach elephants how to read.
my wish didn't get granted
WELL NEITHER DID MINE SHAYNE HOW ABOUT THAT!?
...Fine. Everyone's wishes come true from now on, except yours. And now the thread is ruined. Congratulations. Are you happy now? People are going to be wishing for superpowers and control over parallel universes and trout. All thanks to you. You've given power to humanity. Do you understand how stupid humanity is? They're going to ruin everything!
monkeys can now teach elephants how to read braille. however, the only way the elephants can write is with human bones
I wish pizza
Granted. Pizza pizzas. Pizza pizza pizza, pizza pizza. Pizza pizza Pizza's pizza, pizza pizza pizza pizza PIZZA pizza.
http://www.junkfoodnews.net/Brooklyn...Pizza-712w.jpg
I wish HC accidentally the pony.
Granted. But HC purposely the horse.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cloud Strife777
I wish my new cat would stop pissing on my rug.
granted, its new target is your clean laundry.
I wish for derpy to sing a song.
Granted. Johnny Derp sings "What is love" by Hathaway in his pirate voice, but says "burn me" instead of "hurt me." And after the concert Tim Derpton hires him to be in another movie that he totally came up with the idea for by himself. But some angry actor, distraught over being passed over for the lead role in favor of Johnny Derp, sneaks some hypnotic suggestion into the credits, and everyone who sticks around to the end of the movie ends up throwing chihuahua-shaped bricks (what?) off a ledge into oncoming traffic during clown rush hour, causing a forty-three car pileup. Thousands of clowns who were piled into their tiny cars die horribly slow, agonizingly painful deaths, because you wanted Derpy to sing.
I wish I had purple socks.
Least corrupted wish ever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cloud Strife777
This ended up better than I could have possibly imagined