DANNY IS DEFINITELY FEELING SOMETHING!
DANNY IS DEFINITELY FEELING SOMETHING!
LANA!
Danger Zone...
I'm just here for the smurfing laffs because I can't watch it in this country yet. Goddammit.
And also woefully esoteric.
it's like meowschwitz in there
What you should have gone with there was Sammy Gayvis Junior
when they're dead, they're just hookers!
What's that smell?
Gravlax and failure.
this smells like indira ghandis thong
Do you want us to get ants? Because this is how you get ants Lana.
-mrs. Archer, Archer
This is why we can't have nice things
-many characters
Come to me knee, I shall add a hole your face
- skyrim archers
My name is Ben Wa
-Ben Wa
Balls!
-Archer
Because how hard is it to poach a damn egg?
-archer
MY VAN!
"Lana.
Lana.
LAANAAAAAAAAAA--!"
"WHAT!?"
"....danger zoooone."
thank you, abelard
I fell in love with Archer when he referenced Bartleby, the Scrivener. As such, that is my favorite quote from the show, though I don't care to go digging it up and reposting so ya
I would … prefer not to? Bartleby, the Scrivener? Anybody? Not a big Melville crowd here, huh? He’s not an easy read.
Just the tip!
HE REMEMBERS ME!
came here to post thisQuote:
Originally Posted by krissy
I have waited my entire life to say this exact phrase: I am commandeering this airboat!
Is that an ocelot?!
MY RUG
splooosh
I learned that flammable and inflammable mean the same thing!
eric I love you for this thread and I'm rewatching archer just to post in here more
it'll be like the shawshank redemption, except with more tunnelling through trout, and no smurfing redemption
Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts? No. ISIS agents use Krav Maga. We got an ex-Mossad guy who comes in on Thursdays.
For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,
And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed:
And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,
And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!
The Destruction of Sennacherib - Lord Byron
What What Archer Pirate Virus - 57 Minutes Mix! WITH "LYRICS" - YouTube
ahaha what did I just watch
Alright, just pull the knife out and then slap saran wrap on the hole.
PHRASING!
And I'm happy I have an erection.
That didn't involve homeless people.
From there it's all just orcs, and golems, and Balrogs.
Like I bet he wishes he had Bilbo's cloak of dwarven mythril, am I right?
Imma take your word on that.
Hey. Hey, proposition! First person to untie me - guy or gal - I will let him or her give me a handy. Come on, let's share the milk of human kindness!
Hostile work environment!
yeah, basically just candy corn and zima
Krieger: Leave me alone! I am not a Nazi!
Cyril: What about your father?
Krieger: No! He was a scientist!
Cyril: Pretty sure the Nazis had scientists.
Krieger: No! That's why we...hurgh...they lost the war! Lack of science!
You want to play me hard? Well then you'd better nut up! Because I've swallowed just about as much as I can take from you!Quote:
Originally Posted by krissy
Damn, I... had something for this, too... um... damn it. Eat grenade, stupids!
"Where'd you get a grenade?"Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man
"Hanging from the lampshade."
Please tell me that's a smoke grenade.
Archer: Woodhouse! What are you doing?
Woodhouse: Uh, sitting down sir.
Archer: What, at the table? Like people?
What is it, the Alabama of Europe?
i am head of KGB! i have my beets delivered!
yeaaah...what does a blimp do, pam?
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants!
Who's there!? What do you want?! Because all you're gonna get is holes! I-I mean holes in you, not my-
I can hear their screams as their bones be collapsing like a math bomb.
No! Lana! The helium!
Bring back disco!
YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!
mind if i glue up?
Water? Never touched the stuff. Fish smurf in it.
Nice read, Velma!
First of all, it's Y-Y-Zed. And second of all... No. I can't get it. It's impossible.
His name's Gandalf and he's not a hippie?
Lying is, like, 95% of what I do.
Hello, hook worms, get in my feet. Or whatever. Some kind of worms will get in your feet.
And that's why I never have sex with my coworkers. That, and no one ever lets me.
Pam: "Houdini died of AIDS."
Cyril: "No! Why do you always say that?"
This is like O. Henry and Alanis Morissette had a baby and named it this exact situation.
No, Babou, that was all sarcasm. YES, ALL OF IT, YOU FOX-EARED ASSHOLE!
Will somebody PLEASE shut up that damn coyote!
Every single noun and verb in that sentence totally arouses me.
Sorry, let's just call it what it is. Food rapist.
See that? He was putting on his pants, and I stopped him. So you just watch your step, mister ... dammit.
See, what you should have gone with there, was Sammy Gayvis Jr.
Attachment 37634
Whoa! What, is diabetes busy?
You killed a black astronaut! That's like killing a unicorn!
OOC: i wish we had a fort kickass to hang out in!
Archer:[/b] It's pretty hard to stay anonymous when you're the world's greatest secret agent.
Burt Reynolds:[/b] Well calling yourself that can't help.
we need to decide on a flag for our fortQuote:
Originally Posted by Jowy
i'll draft one up tomorrow at work.
"Paging Dr. Loggins!"
Obviously we're going to wait for her; she's the hot one.
Barry, is that how you get ants?
Yes it is, other Barry, yes it is.
Hi, it's the 1930s. Can we have our words and clothes and troutty airplane back? Call you back, 1930s. And, hey, watch out for that Adolf Hitler. He's a bad egg.
Woodhouse: Lieutenant Scripes abhorred the way Reggie, err, Captain Thistleton carried on with the men.
Archer: Yeah, didn't Oscar Wilde get hard labor for that?
Now shut up and kick in the door for me. And do it bad ass like I would. If I still had toe nails.
Sir, that stolen lemur bit one of your prostitutes right in the face and she says she can't go to hospital because she's, quote, "tripping balls."
Archer: There's your bomber.
Malory: Who?
Lana: What?
Archer: That guy. Beardsely McTurbanhead.
Malory: You idiot. That's Sandu Singh, the billionaire investor. He's a sikh.
Archer: Oh, so if he's not a Muslim he just gets a pass?
Do you like to travel? Because if you don't find that bag, I will empty the entire contents of your body and use your leathery skin as a replacement.
Attachment 37900
Your tears?
Because how hard is it to poach a goddamn egg properly?!
Seriously, that's like, eggs 101 Woodhouse.
That's disgusting. If I wanted to look at your bare feet, Woodhouse, I'd sneak in and do it while you were asleep.
Cheryl:[/b] Wait, how do you know Portugese?
Krieger:[/b] Because I grew up in Braz...istol County, Rhode Island. Lot of Portugese in Rhode Island.
Cyril:[/b] Where you're from.
Krieger:[/b] Born and raised.
Cyril:[/b] What's the state capital?
Krieger:[/b] ...Dallas?
I'm gonna pain you dearly, Woodhouse, when I peel all your skin off with a flencing knife, sew it into Woodhouse-pajamas, and then set those pajamas on fire!
Malory:[/b] This is why I can't have nice things!
Archer:[/b] Why, because you shoot them?
Danger zone!! :kakapo:
No no no no, like a big sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk and you think, yeah, ok he's going to give me mouth to mouth. Instead, he just starts choking the trout out of you, and the last sensation you feel before you die, is that he's squeezing your throat so hard that a big wet blob of drool drips off his teeth and just, plurp, falls right onto your popped out eye ball.
So shut up and help me find the nutmeg and I'll make you some Malcolm X tea!
So you just listen to me, Mr Man. Get me some video footage of hot man on man action by tonight, or don't bother coming home!
I have to go, but if I find one dog hair when I come back I'll rub sand into your dead little eyes. I also need you to buy sand. I don't know if they grade it, but... coarse.
Mallory:[/b] ISIS isn't your own personal travel agency. It doesn't exist just so you can jet off to... Whore Island!
Archer:[/b] That's not... a real place.
Mallory:[/b] I have fifty agents who would literally kill to move up to your position. And if you don't square up your operations account by Monday, they won't need to. Your position will be vacant! Sterling!
Archer:[/b] Sorry, I was picturing Whore Island.
Mallory:[/b] Have I made myself clear?!
Archer:[/b] You're looking for the answer "yes"?
Mallory:[/b] Yes.
Archer:[/b] Then yes.
The Isle of Man... oh my god, is that like Whore Island for women?
Lana:[/b] [about Conway] And what do we know about this guy?
Archer:[/b] Only that he's uncircumcised.
Lana:[/b] [Pause] Okay, glossing over how you know that—
Archer:[/b] We touched penises.
Lana:[/b] NO, GLOSSING! But wait, an uncircumsized Jewish guy? Isn't that kinda weird to you?
Archer:[/b] What's weird about that? I'm not Jewish but I am circum—
Lana:[/b] That's not how it works!
Archer:[/b] Oh Lana, I think we both know it works just fine.
Lana: Aww, did you see me? Holding that baby?
Ray: Yeah, you looked like Tyson holding that dove.
Pam:[/b] And don't go starting rumors about Conway boning your mother.
[Archer throws up]
Pam:[/b] You get any of that in the trashcan?
Archer:[/b] No. I missed on purpose.
Sterling Archer: No, no, by all means, let me do this Lana. You just sit there like the African Queen.
Lana Kane: The African Queen was the boat.
Sterling Archer: No it wasn't. It was Audrey-
Lana Kane: Katherine.
Sterling Archer: Whichever Hepburn, she was the queen.
Lana Kane: ...of Africa?
Sterling Archer: Yeah.
Lana Kane: The white queen of Africa?
Sterling Archer: Yeah. Back then Hollywood was pretty weird about the whole race thing. Like Amos and Andy were white. A white guy played Charlie Chan.
Lana Kane: Archer-
Sterling Archer: I'm pretty sure Tonto was a Jew.
You haven't seen the last of Conway Stern... Which is not my real name.
RAMPAAAAAAAAAAAGE!
All I've had today is, like, six gummy bears and some scotch.
serves you right, smacky brown
Malory:[/b] But they were blanks! Weren't they?
Archer:[/b] Only if the back of his skull picked that exact moment to explode outwards.
I do know that a liter of melon balls can't replace a liter of blood because I'm kind of drunk for this!
Oh, I thought we were laughing at the dead people we set on fire.
Now who's laughing, Mr. Hooks-for-hands!
And that's why we can't have nice things.
Okay, we're off to get our scrotums waxed!
The IRS? Jesus! How many Irish gangs are there?
Cyril, c'mon. Worst case scenario, her cover got blown and Skorpio's raping her senseless before he chops her battered corpse up into fish food.
Was that so hard, Count Snackula?
Can you close your eyes? It feels like I’m banging tail-lights on a country road.
That's just great. She gets dinner and Dixieland and laid. And I get mosquitoes and no beer and... not laid. How could this get any... [alligator surfaces and growls] LET ME FINISH... worse. You ruined it. You ruined the moment.
And?
Screw them! Especially Cheryl; I hope you kidnap the trout out of her.
Bloody Mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.
never let this die! season four starts next month!
Pam: After this, I am going to go home, watch Hooper and masturbate until my fingers bleed.
Cheryl: Just tape them up!
Archer:[/b] And just who might my dad be?
Malory:[/b] Gene Krupa, no wait... not Krupa... the other one, the one with Teeth......Buddy Rich.
Archer:[/b] (shocked) What?
Malory:[/b] I could never say no to a drummer.
Archer:[/b] (furious) COULD YOU SAY NO TO ANYONE!!?
(Malory vicously slaps him across face and glares)
Malory:[/b] (glowering) I said no to plenty.
Rip: "You just killed like ten pirates."
Archer: "Wow, if the five-year-old me knew that, he’d get a huge boner."
Archer:[/b] [to Pam] I'll throw these doughnuts on the ground so you can pretend they're marbles and you're a hungry hungry... [Pam abruptly shuts the door on Archer] ...hungry hippo.
Cheryl: Mopeds are fun but you don't want to let your buddies see you riding one.
Pam: I thought he meant I was fuel efficient. I had only had 10 ten beers.
Cheryl: 40s?
Pam: NO.... yes.
Holy trout, our security is atrocious. Seriously, it's really bad. Password. Hmm, password? How about "Guest". No way! It can't be. Jesus Christ, that is just... babytown frolics.
No, no, it's Woodhouse! He's all tied up somewhere, sc-scared and alone! And possibly dehydrated!
Malory: But even though Cyril may be clingy...
Lana: Oh, Saran Wrap could take a lesson.
wondering why cheryl's on an ostrich...?
“It’s okay. I’m just wait here while you make me a whole new breakfast not covered in garbage.”
“It’s not garbage, sir.”
“Scraps of paper. Yes, which by definition, is garbage.”
“Make nutella waffles.”
“Mmmm.”
“Nutella steak and eggs?”
And I don't want another one of your sullen whores using my medicine cabinet like a Pez dispenser.
bump
new archer's on tomorrow. don't forget it!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO
wow krissy i can't use a keyboard.
"i'm repping this as hard as i can" was the intended message to be conveyed!
Archer: You just destroyed my innocence!
Mallory: Oh, please! That Brazilian au pair did that when you were thirteen.
Archer: Twelve!
Oh, yes! I have a plant!
...plant.
Plan.
Ray: To reiterate, I am paralyzed!
Cyril: Well, join a support group.
Malory: For who? Crippled gay hillbilly spies? There's a niche.
did i ask for your life story?
Malory: Well, you're in charge here. I'm off to get a seaweed wrap.
Ray: I didn't know they made sushi with dried clams.
I WILL NOT LET THIS THRAD DIE.
Sterling: If you don't want to see two robots smashing each other with cop cars and trout as they fight each other through the streets of Manhattan...
Krieger: Stop. My penis can only get so erect.
Also: 'Archer' renewed for season 5 | Inside TV | EW.com
Archer: Come get a drink with me!
Pam: I can't I'm-
Archer: No, you can. I'm allowing you.
Pam: Ohhh, thank you.
it's mostly msg.
THE FLAVOUR ENHANCER!
http://i.imgur.com/yhgLIOW.jpg
bionic legs and you lift with your back
"You know, this isn't some guinea pig you're working on here, this is Porthos, my beagle, my pal! And from what you're telling me, the closest thing your people have to pets are furry little things that go well with onions!" --Captain Jonathan Archer
Amidoinitrite?
do you want ants cloudaine?
cause that's how you get ants. :mad2:
Bilbo: "That's just great. Now I get to deal with this as my hot meatball sub congeals into a big fat disappointing blob of trout!"
Sterling: If you don't want to see two robots smashing each other with cop cars and trout as they fight each other through the streets of Manhattan...
Krieger: Stop. My penis can only get so erect.
Malory: The thought of me dead gives you an erection?
Sterling: No, just half of one. The other half would have really missed you.
http://i.imgur.com/gAFOA1b.png
I call him Fister Roboto. He's a fully integrated, multi-fetish, artificial being. And the best part is that he's learning.
"What are you going to do?"
"Cry 'havoc' and let slip the hogs of war."
"Dogs of war."
"Whatever farm animal of war, Lana! Shut up!"
I'm re-watching this show in order to finally watch season four.
In preparation for tonight's première I should probably post this:
Archer Season 5 Exclusive "Radical Departure" Reveal to UPROXX
Massive spoilers, obviously.
As expected, no one had anything to worry about with the series changes; the new episode was still great. In fact I'd probably rank it above a rather large number of season four episodes. They did what I'm assuming is a preview of the rest of the season at the end of the episode and it looks like it'll continue to be great.
The montage at the end could be clips from future episodes (which I think would be awesome) or it could just be Archer day dreaming, only the next few episodes will tell.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man
According to this AV Club interview with Adam Reed, the end of the episode is actual footage from the rest of the season. Someone who went to the Archer Live panel in Austin reported that (SPOILER)the will become Archer Vice in episode three of the new season.
Resuming my re-watch to catch up to season five! I never get tired of this show.
There are many more archers in that series alone, I have tons of quotes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Noire, Fire Emblem Awakening
Wait a second, wrong forum.
Russia? Look, no offense, but standing in line for beets and toilet paper isn't my idea of a good time.
Just the tip!
You're looking for Predator, aren't you?
The point is, we are highly trained covert operatives with an extremely dangerous set of skills. And since the government has unjustly accused us of treason, we are now forced to transfer those skills from espionage to criminal activity. Kinda like the A-Team. But we sell drugs.
Oh my god, Lana! Lana, you know what I could totally go for right now?
The fastest rising name for baby boys in 2014 is Archer.
I tell my sister she's got "truckasaurus hands" somewhat regularly and she hates me for it.
Just reading back through this thread gives me fuzzies.
new season was weak :cry:
No it wasn't. It was better than season four and possibly season one as well.
Krieger: I'm not a serial killer.
Archer: Wait. Why did you emphasise "serial"?