Practical Jokes

I was chatting with Boobs yesterday about some office practical jokes that I like to play and thought I'd share a few...

- Putting a post-it note under a infrared mouse and watch your colleague spend five minutes checking all his connections.
- Turning off the lights in the office toilet while a fellow colleague is taking a dump
- Pretend to transfer a call to a colleague, then put on a fake voice and see how long it takes them to notice
- If a colleague leaves their computer unattended, drafting an email to the entire office enquiring if anyone has any pile cream they could borrow.

What practical jokes have you played on people? Or maybe you had one played on you which has left you mentally scarred? Either way, let me know so I can expand my repertoire.

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In case there is anyone left on the internet that hasn't seen these, here are the Cubicle Wars. I wish I could do these.

When my sister was three, she called me to her room to tell me something. As soon as I sat beside her when she was lying down in bed, she farted and started to laugh hysterically.

A coworker and I intended to wrap a third coworker's entire desk in wrapping paper at Christmas time last year. PC, monitors, mouse, phone, office supplies, chair - everything individually. We didn't end up doing it, though, because we would have had to come in overnight to do it and neither of us could be arsed after we planned it out.

Might try it on someone here at my new job and see how long it takes me to get fired :jess:

Not too sure I'd like to smurf with anybody at work but back in May, me & my mate put mayonasse in the cap of the aftersun his housemate was using. It was so funny when he figured out it was mayo :lol:

I know a guy who once took a screen shot of someones desktop, flipped it around so it was upside down and set it as their wallpaper. He then removed their desktop shortcuts, hid the taskbar, flipped the screen so the picture he had set looked right, then inverted their mouse settings. Something like that anyway. Everything seemed perfectly normal except they couldn't click on anything, and they couldn't bring the task bar up since it was at the top of the screen now and they weren't looking there.

Vivi, that's brilliant. The best I could muster in that relm was to invert mouse controls, and crank the speed/sensitivity to max. Also cranking their "doubleclick" time on their mouse to max so they have to click as fast as possible to select anything.

Here's some of my list. This was while I was in the military, but it's still a lot of office humor. A lot of these were on night shift, because there was a one star loose in the building who would have murdered me.

1) We had an office intercom that dialed from any phone, so I'd play the Jaws theme, TMNT theme, whatever, over the intercom by putting my phone right next to my computer speakers. I'd also put the intercom on hold, and tell someone they had a call on line 2. They'd pick up to say hello, and hear themselves over the intercom.

2) We were "supposed" to starch our uniforms. (This is debatable.) Anyway, that included our hats, and some people would starch them to the point that the hats would hold their shape and coincidentally be water proof. One day I noticed my friend left his hat and car keys in the break room. So I filled his hat with water, tossed his keys in, and left it in the freezer. It had the majority of that 12 hour shift to freeze solid. I laughed, he raged, I left him in the parking lot attempting to break his keys out of a block of ice.

3) This was the military, so I'd always tell the new guys, "Hey, Captain Dee called while you were out. He needed some sort of heads up on weather at your base. He sounded kinda pissed you weren't available. I left you his number." Only it would be the number for Captain D's, the fast food place.

4) There was a phone that was malfunctioning (It wouldn't transfer calls), and they were going to throw it out. I talked them into letting me keep it. So I took it home, glued the phone to the reciever, came back to work the next day, and switched it with my friends phone while he went to the bathroom. I thought there would be harmless shenanigans. I managed to time the call to his desk right as he walked back in the room. So he ran over in a rush, and smacked himself in the face with the whole phone trying to answer it quickly. I feel kinda bad about that one, but everyone laughed. Even him.

5) As a group, we convinced one of the new guys he needed to take a "ground level air sample" so we could take it back to the "the lab" (there was no lab, just the vault for secret operations, but new guy didn't know this) so it could be analyzed for percentage of condensation nuclei, pollen, etc. Basically he was running around in the parking lot with a trash bag while we watched from the upstairs windows.

6) I had a new team lead, a very gullible lieutenant, so I decided to mess with her. I took all the staples out of my stapler, and rolled my chair over to where she was eating at her desk. (Plain oatmeal, everyday, she had the prank coming.) I started off with "Lt. Hettinga, this stapler seems to keep jamming, and it's driving me crazy. I'll try to use it and it just......AAAUUGGHH!!" At which point I began stapling the stapler over my head and arms. She freaked out for a good thirty seconds, and it was a good time had by all.

There's others, but that's some of them at least.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Vivi22

I know a guy who once took a screen shot of someones desktop, flipped it around so it was upside down and set it as their wallpaper. He then removed their desktop shortcuts, hid the taskbar, flipped the screen so the picture he had set looked right, then inverted their mouse settings. Something like that anyway. Everything seemed perfectly normal except they couldn't click on anything, and they couldn't bring the task bar up since it was at the top of the screen now and they weren't looking there.

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I actually use to do exactly this in high school all the time. xD

Also, this.

naughty words
http://i47.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou:...ou:/ogwj1e.jpg

One of the best things I did was change the M and N keys in school. It is super subtle. The younger kids who look at the keys and type one at a time don't understand why their passwords don't work. The school network admin who obviously touch types doesn't see any difference. Took them like half hour to realise. Owned.

While Del Murder was at work, I went to the train station where he parks his car and with his spare keys, moved his car to a different parking spot. In the original spot, I left a Goomba. (SPOILER)http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7252/7...22082ccbc0.jpg

I also covered his car with 8-bit Mario. (SPOILER)http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7275/7...5f31ba409a.jpg

Meanwhile, I got his coworker to change the lettering on his keyboard. I also STRONGLY encouraged them to make his cubicle into a 4-walled cubicle, but they failed on that. Was majorly disappointed.

I also put a CD of Do the Mario in his car's system and had it set to blast the song as soon as he started his car.

This was all in one day.

Another time I rubbed dye on my feet to make them look like they were rotting so that he would think I was turning into a zombie. Another time I put blue tint on my fingers and started shivering to make it seem like I was getting some crazy frostbite tit going on.

And so and so forth. I pull a lot of pranks on Del Murder.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Miriel

While Del Murder was at work, I went to the train station where he parks his car and with his spare keys, moved his car to a different parking spot. In the original spot, I left a Goomba. (SPOILER)http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7252/7...22082ccbc0.jpg

I also covered his car with 8-bit Mario. (SPOILER)http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7275/7...5f31ba409a.jpg

Meanwhile, I got his coworker to change the lettering on his keyboard. I also STRONGLY encouraged them to make his cubicle into a 4-walled cubicle, but they failed on that. Was majorly disappointed.

I also put a CD of Do the Mario in his car's system and had it set to blast the song as soon as he started his car.

This was all in one day.

Another time I rubbed dye on my feet to make them look like they were rotting so that he would think I was turning into a zombie. Another time I put blue tint on my fingers and started shivering to make it seem like I was getting some crazy frostbite tit going on.

And so and so forth. I pull a lot of pranks on Del Murder.

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And you still got him to propose to you?

I'm pretty sure it's the reason why he proposed. Aside of course, from the free meals I provide him.

When I was in school, I worked at Wendy's; when I quit there, I went in on my last day with a lot of Preparation H and made sure everyone saw it. I spent the entire day grinning.

I didn't do anything with it (at least nothing I got caught for), but I had everybody terrified all day.

Back when I was still playing WoW, Huxley once rolled up a WoW character, put it into my guild and leveled it up to sixty or something before letting me know it was him. He was acting completely out of character the whole time so it caught me by complete surprise. The bell-end. :colbert:

Also back when I was working in a commission sales position one of my coworkers hid in another area of the store, called our department, altered her voice, and said she was going to come in to buy our most expensive item with all of the extras and extended warranties. The poor girl who answered the phone and thought she was going to make bank was on a high for about an hour, at which point someone spilled the beans and then she was pissed for the rest of the day.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pacific hagfish

A coworker and I intended to wrap a third coworker's entire desk in wrapping paper at Christmas time last year. PC, monitors, mouse, phone, office supplies, chair - everything individually. We didn't end up doing it, though, because we would have had to come in overnight to do it and neither of us could be arsed after we planned it out.

Might try it on someone here at my new job and see how long it takes me to get fired :jess:

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That sounds like a pretty... impractical joke.

*Ba Dum Tsss*

I'm sorry.

At the factory, there's a table at the end of the stacker with ball-bearings with pressurized air underneath of them to make the paper stacks glide better across it. When you use two fingers and press down on two of them at the right angle, it makes this Alvin & the Chipmunks roller coaster screaming sound. So I called this guy over and asked him if he knew what the miniature holocaust sounded like. He said no. I asked him to listen closely, and then let off the screams.

Not really a practical joke.

In high school I used to target this girl that sat in front of me in Photoshop class. She was very popular, friendly, and was dating this other retard for like 2 years. She was short, skinny, with long blonde hair. A nice healthy tan; nothing fake. She was a star pupil in many ways. I'm sure many of you are familiar with the 'shutdown -e' command. I had actually pioneered the key to understanding which computers were which strictly by following a series of numbers and letters (you know, what they labeled the computers with). Once I had figured this out, I could remotely shut down any computer in the building. So I'd wait until she was into this project and make sure she didn't save. If she saved, then I'd wait until she made progress without saving. I'd shut her down and watch her get very upset, which was very exciting. It really lubricated something for me. She booted back up, and I did the same thing after she made progress again, because I was now caught in a rush of ecstasy. Very minor ecstasy, but I know the feeling in a spectrum of magnitudes. She whined very vocally, with that fawning girlish expression to the teacher that her computer was malfunctioning. She was moved behind me in the very back of the room. This is where my understanding of machine label patterns came in handy; I just did some quick diagram in my head to ensure that I knew which one she was on, and did the same tit. I did it until the end of class and it was very pleasurable.

Sylvie, you are such a dick. <3

I remembered a joke I did actually play on someone, actually. My friends and I went into another friend's room while they were away and opened up their Costco-sized giant ass box of thousands of q-tips and put them everywhere. Everywhere. Inside books, DVDs, games, between keys in their keyboard, in their pillow, on top of their fan so when it was turned on they would zing everywhere, inside shoes, inside decorations and things, in pockets of clothes.

A year later he was still finding q-tips in everything. Probably still is.

When I was uhm, 8 or whatever, I was with my best friend and his siblings at the park, dickin' around in a sand pit. I had a tube sock for some reason, filled with sand, real thick and heavy, something I knew, the moment I felt its weight and girth, would be really satisfying to let swing and pound into somebody's face or throat or something. So like, this kid was the best friend I've ever had, and I really liked him. Like, he meant a lot to me. But he bent over. He was probably really lucky that his back wasn't broken or something. He collapsed into anguish immediately, winded I think, heaving, as his brother and sister are like "what in the f***", obviously trying as hard as they could to restrain themselves from smurfing killing me. Everyone was pissed, I didn't even really understand what'd just happened, I just felt really isolated. I thought it was funny for a second for some reason, so it like was a joke or something. I think actually said, "i was just kidding" hahaha

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pacific hagfish

I remembered a joke I did actually play on someone, actually. My friends and I went into another friend's room while they were away and opened up their Costco-sized giant ass box of thousands of q-tips and put them everywhere. Everywhere. Inside books, DVDs, games, between keys in their keyboard, in their pillow, on top of their fan so when it was turned on they would zing everywhere, inside shoes, inside decorations and things, in pockets of clothes.

A year later he was still finding q-tips in everything. Probably still is.

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I would have beat you all up and made you buy me another box. :colbert:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by balloon

When I was uhm, 8 or whatever, I was with my best friend and his siblings at the park, dickin' around in a sand pit. I had a tube sock for some reason, filled with sand, real thick and heavy, something I knew, the moment I felt its weight and girth, would be really satisfying to let swing and pound into somebody's face or throat or something. So like, this kid was the best friend I've ever had, and I really liked him. Like, he meant a lot to me. But he bent over. He was probably really lucky that his back wasn't broken or something. He collapsed into anguish immediately, winded I think, heaving, as his brother and sister are like "what in the f***", obviously trying as hard as they could to restrain themselves from smurfing killing me. Everyone was pissed, I didn't even really understand what'd just happened, I just felt really isolated. I thought it was funny for a second for some reason, so it like was a joke or something. I think actually said, "i was just kidding" hahaha

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we were so much alike as children, love <3

My (male) cousins and I once dug a hole at the beach which we were going to cover up and trap our (female) cousins in but they ended up seeing us digging so the prank was ruined. We also dug it way too deep and it almost collapsed and killed us. Good times :wacky: