The Lying Thread

Just come in here and like, lie. Just do it. It's good for you or something. I don't know. I once punched a bird in mid flight. That'll show it for trying to eat my chips. Smurfer.

I never lie.

I never lie about the part that I did lie.

I love you all.

I never flirted with several female members of EoFF.

I also kick babies.

I was once a proud mexican tap dancer.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beowulf

I also kick babies.

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Hey, no stealing my thunder.

I don't like stealing people's thunder.

I once killed five birds with a swing from my mighty shlong.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Uncle Big Hands

I once killed five birds with a swing from my mighty shlong.

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I bet you did.

I ate my phone because it tasted a little like duck

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jiro

I ate my phone because it tasted a little like dick

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what's that taste like?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beowulf

I also kick babies.

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This is the lying thread Beowulf.

Or I guess I should say this isn't the lying thread. Who can resist the occasional baby kicking?

I totally don't make a living off of kicking babies outrageous distances.

I once saw Raistlin crush the front end of a peterbilt between his buttcheeks. It was impressive but also tweak-inducing in its incredibly disturbing nature.

How many dudes you know roll like this

how many dudes you know flow like this

not many

if any

I was once a treehouse

I lived in a cake

but I never saw the way the orange slayed the rake

...

You absolutely did not dot Dot, you dotty liar!

I once ate a whole family of squirrels.

I do not ever randomly break out into dance. Ever. I swear.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tigmafuzz

I was once a treehouse

I lived in a cake

but I never saw the way the orange slayed the rake

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I was only three years dead, but I told a tale
And now listen little child to the safety rail

I love my job.

I have never said "here's a llama there's a llama and another little llama fuzzy llama funny llama llama llama duck" out loud.

Chuck Norris and I are brothers. We both roundhouse kick the trout out of everything. We created the universe with a dual roundhouse kick to the face of empy space.

...I am definitely not a member of the Eyes on Final Fantasy Editorial team.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beowulf

Chuck Norris and I are brothers. We both roundhouse kick the trout out of everything. We created the universe with a dual roundhouse kick to the face of empy space.

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Chuck Norris jokes have been funny since their inception, and continue to be funny to this day. :colbert:

I smurfed Tifa's Boobs last night.

I never said there were spies among us. :shifty:

I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shorty

I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

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(SPOILER) Yes you did :colbert:

My penis is tiny

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gordon Freeman

...I am definitely not a member of the Eyes on Final Fantasy Editorial team.

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"Yes you ARE." - Jackie Chan

I am bubbaforever.

I have a huge schlong.

I have Cloud x Sephiroth posters around my room

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lockharted

I have a huge schlong.

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"Oh MY!" - George Takei

I hate you all.

I am a proud black female and I don't need no man

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tigmafuzz

I am a proud black female and I don't need no man

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Truth: This had me laughing hysterically.

Back on topic.


I hate smoking and alcohol.

My hair is pointed

I really like this thread.

I love being woken up by mexicans mowing the lawn at 8 am.

I eat poo and drink urine.

I punched a tramp in the face when he had the gaul to ask me for 30p.

I once gave a Dirty Sanchez to Ronald Reagan.

Farts aren't funny.

Sharts aren't funny.

I feel like I'm getting too old for this shieeeeeeeeeeeeet

I once gave a Ronald McDonald to Santana.

I once gave a Carlos Mencia to Carlos Mencia.

:kaoclove:I love all you guys!!! :kaoclove:

I "love" you too

I have the following sentences sewn in white thread upon the back of a black pair of jeans: "If you are trying to read this, you either have poor eyesight or nothing better to do. In either case, you assuredly have my pity. Yet I must beseech you to confront me about this print or to simply walk away now before you finish reading as I would prefer it if you did not stand idly while you continue to stare at my ass."