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I think with me it's a bit of both. I can be difficult to get to know properly and in that aspect I usually have to approach people to start up a conversation because a lot of people don't think that they can do so with me. On the other hand, I have certain qualities that apparently make me stand out and this attracts people with the same/compatible qualities more easily, and THESE types of people usually speak to me first.
In short, it's hard for me to make good friends but the ones I have are all the better for it.
I think I definitely choose my friends. There's a lot of people I know I don't allow to get to know me, because I avoid them and am not necessarily honest to them when I speak with them.
friends usually come to me. i'm not the best at approaching others.
I'm not a socializer, therefore anyone who admits to being my friend has to also admit they were on some level drawn to me for whatever reason that may not have an explanation. All that I know is I have perhaps 6 or so friends in life (only two or three of whom I communicate with regularly) though I've had perhaps a total of 20 or so sporadically throughout my life. Being anti-social, I for the most part, have no friends, at least none that live nearby. The closest friends I can communicate with regularly are the "friends" I have on this site. Though you're all mostly acquaintances who don't automatically shun me for my personality.
I choose whichever friends cost the least per hour to hire, so I guess it's me that chooses them.
I'm definitely more of a chooser, because I'm fairly picky about who I let close to me.
I'm not very good at making friends because I'm such a reclusive person. It's not because I dislike people, but just, well, I value my space.
I wouldn't mind getting to know a lot of the people here better (outside of just EoFF and Facebook) but I'm far too shy to take the initiative. It's the thought that counts?
Pike, you're awesome.
I've been feeling much the same way recently.
I choose you, friends! Use tackle!
I'm not very trusting of others deep down and, because of the type of person I am, I try not to spread myself too thin with the wrong kind of people. I definitely choose my friends and there are only three who I frequently interact with.
Most of my friends have kinda just happened or happened through mutual friends. Most often, I'd say other people tend to choose and I just kinda go with it because I like to give people the benefit of the doubt that they aren't horrible people. Luckily, most of them haven't been.
I think I can only recall one time me approaching someone and then us being friends. Usually it's them coming up to me or me being introduced to them through mutual people. I do have anxiety about meeting with new people. I'm not introverted if I'm around them enough though.
I could have become friends with James from college as he and I were very similar. However, his personality reminded me of who I was in high school, which was insanely creepy anti-social. So I stopped talking to him. Probably the only person on God's green Earth that I "kicked to the curb."
I somehow ended up with a ridiculous number of friends and acquaintances through doing a bunch of different kinds of work and now I have random people texting me at all hours asking if I want to hang out or go with them to their friends' barbecues and such. Which I would, if Sarah and I weren't so busy all the time. I'm the kind of guy that picks his friends because he has a complex about letting people get too close to him (also because there are a few kinds of people I just don't want to associate with because there's no way I want to deal with whatever drama and crap I know they will eventually drag me into) but I somehow ended up being very close to a huge number of people that I have very few things in common with. I guess having a large, eclectic group of friends is a good thing, but I can't feeling that I'm a little too close to some of those people.
I got no friends because I like to cry at one corner of the orphanage thinking of my sister!!!
Will anyone be my friend? I will save you just in case you fall off the cliff while looking for your dead mom in some creepy mountains! :(
I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND CHRISTMAS :(
It builds off of what you said at the beginning of your post: you get thrown together with people. Occasionally you don't have the choice on whether or not to spend time with people you don't necessarily like. It's unfortunate though! I'm just glad that school seems to have been the end of this situation for me; I can choose my own friends now. :jess:Quote:
Originally Posted by Tifa's Boobs
I'm close to maybe 4 people who I trust and know me very well. The one I'm open with most I know online. The others are a group of friends who kinda come and go. I like them, we hang out, but we don't need each other. I'm fairly picky about who I hang out with, I guess I'd say I choose my friends.
I tend to treat my closest friends worse than acquaintances and buddies, because they know how much of a dick I am.
You know, you have a point there. I didn't think of that.Quote:
Originally Posted by JiroIt builds off of what you said at the beginning of your post: you get thrown together with people. Occasionally you don't have the choice on whether or not to spend time with people you don't necessarily like. It's unfortunate though! I'm just glad that school seems to have been the end of this situation for me; I can choose my own friends now. :jess:Quote:
Originally Posted by Tifa's Boobs
However, I don't consider people I don't like my friends.
Fr-iends?
(SPOILER)http://i.imgur.com/pP4GY.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by Araciel
I think that it went both ways when I was younger. Since reaching adulthood, though, I haven't really been interested in making new friends very often.
When the right person meets the right person, it's not a choice, man. These things just happen.
I try to be friendly with everyone I meet, but I defnitely choose who I want to surround myself with.
It just kind of happens. There is no real official moment where I go, "Ok. We are friends now." You hang out with someone and it clicks.
I make friends relatively easily. I don't however tend to make firm friends as easily. Generally speaking I have multiple tiers of friendship. I don't let everyone know all the same things about me or my life.
I've found the best way to make friends is to just let other people talk about themselves and then you can remain mostly an enigma. It's great, it's like I have to do no work and I still get to do fun stuff with people.
in the span of a month i went through barely knowing a guy to dancing/feeling/kissing him up and now he's leaving and i'm :(
but i usually use my other friends as filters for new friends
I used to be really surprised by how many people went out of their way to be friends with me, with little to no effort on my part. The interesting part about this is that I now have a lot of friends who kinda chose me, but who are wildly different from me. People I might not have sought out if I was doing all the decision making.
I'm not super proactive about going out and making friends, but very receptive to other people's friendly gestures. It all amounts to the fact that I am pretty lazy.
I'm really quiet and shy so I find it hard to make friends, and people tend to think I'm stuck up a lot, but when I do open up to people I make a really loyal friend.
People at work tend to be a lot nicer to me than people I go to uni with, I think it's because at work I have people of different ages, and I find the younger ones like me a lot because I sort of mother them a bit xD
I'm a very private person, and I only have two people that I would really call my true friends. Online buddies don't count, and I am much more open with my online friends than I could ever be with my friends in real life. To answer the question, I always choose the people I think have the most potential to become my friends further down the line. :|
I was thinking about that one day - it's a mutual thing and I think after some boundary testing, you get more comfortable with each other.
PERSONALLY I know exactly where people stand with me, but I don't explicitly tell any of them (well, rarely). It's obvious - I will go out of my way to be more nicer to one set of people (and then a subset of that set) than random people or the rest of my associates.
You don't have this happen with couples - where there's an explicit question and answer period.
I mean yes, you can ask a person to be your friend, but I've never made a single friend in my life this way. Not a real friend, anyway (and definitely never once I was a functional social creature)
I don't know. I don't have many but I don't pursue many.
One of my biggest issues in making friends is I can be both anti-social and quite lazy about things. I'm really easy to get on with and chill out with but half the time I'll get lazy towards people and don't bother keeping up my end of the friendship. Sometimes however it's more because I think the person I'm being "lazy towards" needs to step up and actually take the initiative.
I think we should all be friends altogether!! Agree? Agree? *big panda hug!! :kaoclove:
I hate people. I'm not even kidding people are a virus. I treat them as such, with only a chosen few being worth it in the end. Wit those I do make certain efforts. I do little to maintain friendships. However for some unknown reason people keep coming back for more abuse and people i've never met hear about the abuse and want some themselves so I find myself with more people in my life than I deserve or even want. smurfing masochists. I do have certain pluses i suppose im kinda protective over the few worth my while so im pretty loyal and protective with the scars to prove it. You'll never get a deep conversation with me about feelings and emotions but if you're down i'll grab u by the arse hair & bring u out for more than one beer, make u laugh til it comes out yer ears and make u drink until you vomit all the bad stuff up. Ya know...the healthy way to deal with problems, alcohol. I've been known to hug once or twice a year if the situation really really requires it.
I'm pretty sure I'll die alone as despite having no trouble getting women...I just lack the required effort or indeed will needed to keep them around.......and the worrying thing....i'm not entiely unhappy about that.
I'm a healthy adult right? These friends of mine are lucky to have me.
Personally my friends have all choosen me. I've tried to choose people to befriend and we just don't connect or get along. But my best mate she basically choose me like I was some kind of Pokemon. :|
I want to be friends with Cuch.
As of late, they choose me.
I've grown into bit of a recluse, lately, and seem to hate everyone. People just want to talk to me for some reason.
Maybe they're all after my robot bee....
I think it's a bit of both, for me. Obviously everyone chooses who they befriend, but I guess I go to others before they come to me. I'm too social. Lol.
Difficult but doable.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty
Sounds like Tifa's Boobs.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuchulainn
:colbert:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramisese Rububba the ThirdSounds like Tifa's Boobs.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cuchulainn
My friends have to win a Hunger Games-style lottery to hang out with me.
Only one winner?