Did I really just say that?

This morning I was talking to a co-worker about parking on the street and moving our cars. She mentioned that she snagged a super awesome 24 hour spot where she didn't have to move her car every two hours (because city parking sucks) and "I'M SO JELLY" just slipped out of my mouth faster than I could think about it.

I don't think I would ever consciously say "jelly" in an irl conversation, much less to a coworker I don't know very well who is also well above my age range. Felt pretty lame/a little embarrassed.

Share your embarrassing word vomit stories.

Every single time I open my mouth to speak this sort of thing happens.

I randomly said the word gnarly out loud to some friends
I spent the next week wondering where the hell it came from

I also say stoked a lot now on accident

"But it smells like a garbage barge!" I'll let you guys figure out what I was talking about.

That didn't go over so well.

"1995? That was when I started kissing boys!"
"Haha. Maybe you sensed her. 'Ugh, I have a feeling that a really repulsive woman was just born'."

Everyone: :erm:
Me: Pissing my pants involuntarily.

I have said Melenkurion abatha in real life.

One time, a friend of a friend was showing us how she got a DDR game and one of those ugly $20 dance pads to go with it. I spoke up about how much those pads sucked [strike]since I'm so pretentious about stomping arrow games[/strike], not realizing that her boyfriend, who gave it to her as a gift was standing right there all :| -faced ... I finally did when my friend said, "sorry" to him under her breath.

Oops.

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Originally Posted by TrollHunter

I randomly said the word gnarly out loud to some friends
I spent the next week wondering where the hell it came from

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1993, at a guess.

At my first job ever there was a lady who used a motorized scooter. I didn't know why she used it, I just knew she had a lot of trouble walking. One day we were both in the corridor to our breakroom and I stood aside so she could pass. She asked how I was.

I said "My feet hurt."
****
One of the first patients I spoke to at my new job is blind. Not "legally" blind and can sort of see, I mean she is barely registering light blind. She approached our desk and introduced herself. I told her we had some privacy statements for her to look over.

We have a couple minority(relevant) temps at work. They kind of have a problem with work ethic, and by that I mean they have a work ethic. I always smurf around telling them they're working too hard and to slow down. One day, like 3 weeks ago, I walk up to them and say in a fake angry voice "What is wrong with you people?! You're working way too smurfin hard!" I remember thinking immediately after saying that "Oh smurf." They didn't take it that way(and I didn't mean it that way) but the rest of the conversation was awkward as hell for me. :x

Any time I've had too much caffeine my mind works a million miles a minute and my mouth can't keep up. I've said plenty of retarded things that I couldn't hope to remember, let alone repeat -_-

My friend has a really short sister. Tiny little thing. This tiny thing was standing next to an equally short guy. "Hah! You two look normal sized when you stand next to each other!".

Turns out the guy had leukemia as a child. :erm:

I have a friend who's annoying and generally disliked by everyone else I know. He's only around because everyone's too nice to just tell him to go away. So last time I was drunk I was talking to a friend about the annoying guy, just laying out every single annoying thing about him, and when I finished I looked up and it was him I was talking to. And he didn't say anything. And I didn't say anything.




So I once had to give a speech to about 250-300 people (98% strangers). I prepared for weeks because I hate public speaking, even more than the average person hates public speaking. Had everything perfectly planned out, then day-of I got to the podium and panicked and improvised the whole thing. It worked though, because I was nailing it, making the audience laugh, etc. Oh, this is where I should tell you that the 250-300 people were librarians. So the fact that they were visibly and audibly enjoying what I had to say made me excited, and I got louder and louder and started thumping the podium, and in a moment of pure chemical insanity I said, "...but we're up against smurfing douchebag parents who don't read to their kids, blah blah." Fortunately (I guess?) I didn't realize what I said, at all, until they asked me about it afterward.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shorty

This morning I was talking to a co-worker about parking on the street and moving our cars. She mentioned that she snagged a super awesome 24 hour spot where she didn't have to move her car every two hours (because city parking sucks) and "I'M SO JELLY" just slipped out of my mouth faster than I could think about it.

I don't think I would ever consciously say "jelly" in an irl conversation, much less to a coworker I don't know very well who is also well above my age range. Felt pretty lame/a little embarrassed.

Share your embarrassing word vomit stories.

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You mean you don't do that all the time?

I guess Ireland must be full of internet addicts as this type of lingo is day to day. :o

everybody knows I'm a computer gaming nerd so they don't care when I spout out online lingo at work and trout.

One of my coworkers is a bilingual LA homeboy. He and I are about tied for using terms that surprise or confound our other coworkers.

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Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrollHunter

I randomly said the word gnarly out loud to some friends
I spent the next week wondering where the hell it came from

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1993, at a guess.

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I was born in 1995, that's where the confusion comes into play.
Never was gnarly a part of my vocabulary.
I think a 90s surfer is possessing my body whenever I let my guard down.

I've let "totes" slip in casual conversation more than I care to admit to.

Did you follow it up with "mcgoats"?

I can proudly proclaim I've never followed anything up with "mcgoats".

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bert

everybody knows I'm a computer gaming nerd so they don't care when I spout out online lingo at work and trout.

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Everyone I know is a gamer so they're not surprised either.

come on
totes is a legit use word
it ain't just jokes

i've used "totes" and it wasn't even in an english sentence

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Originally Posted by Mirage

i've used "totes" and it wasn't even in an english sentence

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That's not so unusual, I've said "smurfing bulltrout" (sans EoFF filters) while speaking Japanese in FFXI. The JP party members knew what I meant.

Anything I say sounds lame because I'm sooooo awkward. It's weird. I hate it.

that sounds pretty lame, nikki

holy trout it just got awkward in here

Yeah, see? Anything. WHOOPS I DID IT AGAIN.

I can't really think of any slip ups on words. Sometimes I'll combine words because speaking sucks.