Yesterday was a truly beautiful Saturday. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, not a cloud in the sky. It was one of those days that just demands even the most anti-social of people step outside and drink in the day. So much so that me and my bro J decided we were going to make ourselves a picnic and head to the park, which is precisely what we did. Good food, nice drink, glorious weather and a beautiful park in Yoyogi surrounded by loved up couples and people meditating. It was a really nice atmosphere. We even walked around before sitting down to eat and found this amazing temple called Meiji Jingu which we had a little wander around. All in all it was shaping up to be a pretty nice day.
We sat down on a particularly picturesque field, next to a little pond and surrounded by trees, took out J's amazing portable speaker with bluetooth functions and started quietly listening to some quality music while we kicked back. Everything was amazing, until we saw him. Wearing jeans so tight that they at least ensure he'd never be able to spawn vile offspring onto the planet, carrying a guitar on his back...the ponciest of hipsters came mincing into this lovely picture intent on ruining it with his awfulness. A western hipster ponce, no less. He proceeded to sit on a tree stump in the middle of all this, whip out his guitar and began caterwauling the most dire hipster filth ever seen.
It was absolutely dreadful. Everything about what he was doing was constructed to be seen as being deep and so intense, 'Look at me pouring my heart out on a tree stump in a park with my guitar, please random Japanese women come up to me and shower me with your love.' He kept looking around at various women sitting around to see if they were paying any attention to him. Me and J, however, only looked at each other. We knew there was no way we could stand for this. Gaijin's reputations over here are bad enough as they are, precisely because of this kind of failure. We knew what we had to do. God's work.
Thankfully, like I said, J's speaker is totally god tier. And it can go LOUD. So we shifted it in front of us and pointed it directly at this nancy boy and started playing all the amazing music we could think of, especially anything that was extremely popular in Japan like Ketsumeishi for example. We drowned that mothersmurfer OUT and thanks to our choice of songs, the natives were loving it. I must admit though, not all the songs we played were good or japanese. In fact one in particular is very english and very dire, however the fact that we drowned this ponce out with it was the gravest insult we could muster. That's right. In the middle of this wonderful park, with no reason other than to insult this nancy boy, we put a banging donk on it. Now like I said we knew doing this was terrible, but it was worth it because it was also the funniest thing we blared at him. This was our only real indiscretion though. Most of the stuff we played was lovely, and possibly the highlight of the whole thing was when a tiny little girl, who must have been two years old at most, ran past us listening to the music, looked at us and waved, and when we waved back the smile on her Dad's face upon seeing it was truly touching. We knew then that we were, as I said, truly doing God's work.
We kept up our barrage of anti-ponce until the workers at the park walked round to tell us it was soon to be closing time, and took great satisfaction in watching the utterly ruined hipster gimp pack up his guitar and slink off throwing us mighty evils for destroying his dire attempts to impress women. That look of pure hatred was the greatest reward we could have gotten.
So chaps, I put it to you, when was the last time you did God's work? I hope you felt the same sense of well-being that me and J did yesterday. Please share your own stories of times you've gone above and beyond to make the world a better place.
