Name: Lesbian Seagull
Age: 21
Interests: Other Women, Running A Pageant
Turn Ons: Large Breasts
Turn Offs: Excessive Quantities Of Vomit, Great Steaming Heaps Of Excrement
Favorite Food:
Great Steaming Heaps of Excrement Miso Ramen
Favorite Show (TV, movie, anime, who cares?):
Ah! Megami Sama
Favorite Actor: Sam Neill
Favorite Author: Isaac Asimov
Favorite Color: Octarine
Favorite Color of Smarties: Blue. I Eat The Red Ones Last Because They Taste Like Crap
Favorite Flavor of Ice Cream: Vanilla, it's the finest of the flavors
What is the Airspeed Of An Unladen Swallow: 9.81 m/s^2, straight down. I clipped the bugger's wings
How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Tootsie Roll Center Of A Tootsie Pop? Sore wa himitsu desu
Ambition: What do you want to do tonight?
Same thing we do every night, Pinky--TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
Biography:
When Frederic was a little lad he proved so brave and daring,
His father thought he'd 'prentice him to some career seafaring.
I was, alas! his nurs'rymaid, and so it fell to my lot
To take and bind the promising boy apprentice to a pilot --
A life not bad for a hardy lad, though surely not a high lot,
Though I'm a nurse, you might do worse than make your boy a pilot.
I was a stupid nurs'rymaid, on breakers always steering,
And I did not catch the word aright, through being hard of hearing;
Mistaking my instructions, which within my brain did gyrate,
I took and bound this promising boy apprentice to a pirate.
A sad mistake it was to make and doom him to a vile lot.
I bound him to a pirate -- you! -- instead of to a pilot.
I soon found out, beyond all doubt, the scope of this disaster,
But I hadn't the face to return to my place, and break it to my master.
A nurs'rymaid is not afraid of what you people call work,
So I made up my mind to go as a kind of piratical maid-of-all-work.
And that is how you find me now, a member of your shy lot,
Which you wouldn't have found, had he been bound apprentice to a pilot
(You can decide whether I'm the cat or the gal. Hehe.)
