You Would Be Unhelpful At...

Everyday on my way to and from uni I pass the Wesley Hospital. It's tag line is something along the lines of "if trout be serious yo, Wes is your homie" or something. But that made me think. If I were having serious medical concerns, would I see Raistlin? Hell smurfing no. He would probably sue me for bleeding on his carpet and I'd get life.

So this is the game. You come in, you see who posted last, and you think about what kind of situation they would be least helpful to you in. (Then you post it, obviously, along with any little details you want to include.) Be creative, but don't be a jerk; this is meant to be fun and light-hearted!

I would not pick Raistlin to help me if I had tumbled off a building after failing some sweet parkour moves and suffering some broken bones and lacerations. As I said, he would probably sue me for bleeding on his carpet :(

Now it's your turn.

PS try to not to post too much so everyone who wants to can enjoy the fun.

PPS Loony BoB is sad that he never gets to reply to the people he likes so try to treat him with courtesy and don't point and laugh at his sadness.

I wouldn't have Jiro help me recover from my hangover. He'd probably just tell me to drink more booze.

I must select a champion to do battle in an arena. But not physical battle; something far more ruthless.

In this arena (unbeknownst to me or my champion), there is one simple way to play. My champion must answer this straightforward query: "name a male movie star."

The only way to lose is to name Leonardo Dicaprio.

I have four minutes to write a speech for the Republican National Convention.

My only collaborating writer is Spuuky.

With Spooniest by my side, I search the Isles of a kitchen store in search of a good set of forks.

NeoCracker and I have to come to an agreement on the top 100 games of all time.

Loony BoB would be unhelpful in helping me be a chaste monk.

Formy would be unhelpful at not getting me pregnant.

There is a bomb hooked up to the nervous system of my body. I don't know about this bomb, but it's there. If I feel fear, the bomb detonates, and I'm torn apart in an excruciatingly painful way.

Due to an emergency across town, I really need someone to drive me across a large city as a passenger in their car.

Spuuky wouldn't be helpful to me in the event that I needed a friend, as I do not know him.

I need to storm the Temple of Fiends 2000 years in the past, and Red Mage is the only caster in my party.

I need to utilize a fork to eat my pad thai, but Spooniest has altered the properties of all my silverware.

Shorty would be useless in retrieving my cat from a tall tree.

I seek to commit an injustice. Since Jiro is JUSTICE, he would be of very little help to me.

I need to win a "Worst Band Ever" contest in which the most terrible band with no musicianship or technical ability is crowned champion. Spooniest is the only guitarist I know. My band is disqualified from the "Worst Band Ever" competition because his talent makes up for the fact that I'm trying to use a tambourine.

fire_of_avalon would be most unhelpful at being a firefighter.

I need to send a message to EoFF that will go mostly unnoticed. Formy is my only intermediary, since my internet is down. Since he is so recognisably recognisable, his message would be read by all.

I need someone currently registered at EoFF.

I am in dire need of shipping 20lb's of pure columbian heroine across the US/Mexican boarder.

Laddy is the only available Mule, and one of the people he must slip by is a seductive and muscly black man.


(SPOILER)This is only going to make sense if I didn't mix up the dude here who really likes black guys.

I need someone to write an article about a mainstream non-rpg for my game magazine.



(SPOILER):heart:

I need someone to be the Joey to my Yugi. But Shads is the Yami to my Yugi :(