What would you arrest the above member for?

If you were ~an authority figure~, what would you arrest the above member for? I volunteer as starting tribute.

Note: Let's keep it mildly appropriate and steer away from sexual or other especially offensive crimes.

Loitering and smoking cloves in a shopping centre carpark, probably.

Child grooming online.

Cow tipping

Public exposure.

Clubbing seals

The suspicious disappearance of his "friend" TabbyTrap.

Support of homosexuality.

Support of heterosexuality.

is this what we've come to

Failing to follow the rules of the thread.

Failing to move this to Wonder Square.

Failing

Bestiality.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Quint Eastwood

Bestiality.

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Yes, the original answer I intended for!

Uh...Babality.

Public Intoxication

Not being publicly intoxicated

Aggravated assault......on his own person.

Breaking and entering a strangers garage to fix their car.

Jaywalking

Reading a do not read signs sign.

Stalking girls who he thinks would make good catgirls.

Stalking girls she thinks would make good ratgirls.

Arson.

Shortiness


err shortness

financial scams

Embezzlement.

Overuse of hair products.

Molesting perfectly good food. :colbert:

Genetic experiments on animals.

Being a rowdy Scottish :bou::bou::bou::bou:.



(ly)

Public defecation.

indecent exposure to minors involving pineapple rings.

Prostitution and extortion.

Summoning Leviathan

Causing a catastrophe.

Dog-napping.

Dog owning.

Causing noise pollution by crying like a seven year old girl who just lost her puppy.

Thinking grown men aren't allowed to cry like little girls.

Check your privilege.

Using the phrase "check your privilege".

Not meeting the roller coater height standards and riding anyways.

In Florida, singing karaoke in a bathing suit is illegal. That.

HAHA Bieber karaoke I forgot about that. We swore that was illegal, turns out it was xD

Psy would be arrested for being a hoarder. House filled with junk. Or Gunk.. from his eyes... :D

Stealing Otters from the local zoo.

emigrating from sunny England

Illegal street racing.

Alpaca prostitution

Refusing my hand in marriage.

Wanting to marry mullet while wearing a rabbit suit. Also with a mullet.

Mullet hate crimes. :colbert:

Mullet love crimes.

The ol' unltraviolence.

Asking and Telling.

Imitating Dark Souls.

For thinking lime is objectively bad.

Butt-sniffing when taking up-skirt photos.

Pretending to be an illegal itinerant worker by using false tan and saying only 'gringo' just to get free rides on the back of a pickup. He doesn't run at all he gets free lifts everywhere through his quasi-racist webs of deceit. he's a filthy lying whore.

Inciting a riot.

In my pants.

for being a bamf!

Being too handsome for this world. :aimkiss:

For not posting on EoFF nearly enough.

Plotting to assassinate Emilia Clarke.

Not wanting Emilia Clarke assassinated.

Arms dealing. Like human arms.

Setting fire to the wind

Impersonating a Secret Service agent

Ingestion of narcotics.

Not enough ingestion of narcotics.

Cocaine for everyone!

Dealing cocaine to internet nerds

Shouting 'kill all white people' on a busy train.

Catholicism.

Moving to France.

Changing his name.

Changing his name frequently.

Growing.

public nudity? his avatar looks like a old guy who is naked under his raincoat

Loving wolves.....in the bad way.

Living too far away for us to go for a drive and talk about cars.

Living in southern NB.

For randomly speaking other languages.

For fleeing the least awful country on earth.

For arresting Faris. :colbert:

crimes

Larceny involving goats.

Starting a disgusting 'Moist' protest.

Murder. :|

Eating pant legs.

Training his Corgies to attack and then feast on the bodies of his enemies.

Unethical and inhumane treatment of animals in your on-going research into creating real-life Pokemon.

summoning! ;o

Not knowing who to call.

I think I'd arrest myself for trying to find fault in a man who has a Bruce Campbell set.

Firing arrow bolts at people o.O