You're sitting next to a stranger who is crying.

Say you see a seat on a train or in a bank with someone on it (it's a three person seat so you'll be one shoulder width apart from them). Only after you sit down you realise the person is crying. Not wailing or anything though.

Do you ask what's wrong/if they're ok or just go about pretending it's not happening?

This happened to me today. It wasnt obvious to me at first because his hands were covering his face and I thought the sniffling was just a cold. I did nothing because I felt it was none of my business.

Yeah, I'd respect their privacy and leave them alone.

I do nothing.
Unless the person crying spoke to me, or someone is in danger, or being verbally abused, attacked etc. I stay out of the business of strangers, as I would want them to stay out of mine.

If it doesn't seem very obvious they are crying before I sat down, I won't bother asking them what's wrong. I only tend to step in if it's really necessary, like if their crying starts to become more noticeable and worrisome, like the tears are really visible. Otherwise, I just leave them alone.

I've been in this position far too often. Generally, I'll offer a tissue if I have one I find it breaks the tension in a nice non-intrusive way. If the person does respond I may ask if they want to talk. Clearly, if someone is crying they are not ok and asking them if they are is not only pointless but stupid.

edit: If it's a girl crying on a night out for example, I'll generally be a gentleman and ask if they're ok getting home and offer to walk them if it's not too far from mine. I don't like the thought of some vunerable girl being given trout by someone on the street.

I've been in this position and I ask if the person is okay. If they just give me a nod or ignore me, I leave them alone. But mostly what has happened is they start talking to me about everything and then thank me for listening. So that's something, I guess!

I think I would probably try to ask if they were alright but not be too pushy. Sometimes people want to be left alone and sometimes they need a shoulder to cry on, because occasionally it's much easier to talk to a stranger about your problems than someone you know. It really depends on the situation at hand.

I think it's really dependent on the situation. It's a hard choice because some people do just want to be left alone and some people want someone to talk to. The best thing I would do is softly and politely ask if they are okay or require assistance. What's the worst that can happen? A snarky or sharp remark that indicates they don't want any help. I mean in my mind this person is experiences emotional turmoil, so if they give you a nasty look or whatever; suck it up. You did your part by trying and that's that.

That's what I would do.

It's a tough one because I'm so nervous in public generally. Depends on how courageous I'm feeling at that current moment. I mean, my typical response is to dig for a tissue, as Iceglow said. I don't really have to say anything, and they normally accept. It just goes from there whether they want to talk or not.

If possible, I'd sit across from them and give them a look of earnest curiosity. If they decide to open up, then I'll listen.

If the place were too crowded I might not say anything. The worst thing for someone who feels vulnerable is to have everyone in the room suddenly stare at them.

As a Canadian, I'd probably apologize.

Leave them alone. I'd want to be left alone if I were going through something in public.

You offer a tissue (and forshame if you haven't a tissue) and you say something like this:

"Is there something I can do to help you?"

They'll take it from there. Source: People come in to the office I work in crying a lot.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon

You offer a tissue (and forshame if you haven't a tissue) and you say something like this:

"Is there something I can do to help you?"

They'll take it from there. Source: People come in to the office I work in crying a lot.

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Yeah, this. Sometimes when I am upset I want to be left alone, but other times having someone ask if you are okay is really quite inspiring and comforting. I don't like seeing people upset. If I don't want to directly engage them, I will generally whisper something nice in their direction as I leave/walk past so they get all the perks of someone saying something nice without the whole "someone is trying to talk to me" thing.

Asking someone if they need to talk means then I might have to listen to them and stuff. :mad:

I'm kidding - if someone is having a hard time and needs to talk, I'd pay attention. I just feel super uncomfortable trying to figure out what to say to make someone feel better, particularly somebody I don't know at all, so it would be really awkward. Hopefully I wouldn't make it worse. But yes, I would probably ask them if they are okay and if they need help, and I would do my best not to ruin everything.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon

You offer a tissue (and forshame if you haven't a tissue) and you say something like this:

"Is there something I can do to help you?"

They'll take it from there. Source: People come in to the office I work in crying a lot.

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I don't carry tissues with me! D:

I would definitely ask them if they are alright - I'm not the best with crying people, but the least I could do would be to offer them a tissue, the use of a telephone, directions, or the simple courtesy of acknowledging that there is a person suffering in plain sight. If they don't want my help, then that's fine and I wouldn't take it personally. There are plenty of times when I've been upset, even weeping in public, and for someone to just talk to me would have been so incredibly grounding and distracting.

Too many variables to consider to provide an informed decision. Such important considerations as age of the individual, initial impression (does this person look unstable, and potentially harmful, are they drunk or obviously impaired by substance use etc) how drunk am I, do I have the window seat, how long away is my stop... but likely not.

On a bus? I'd leave them alone, because it's a large public space and I wouldn't want them to feel weird when surrounded by people and if it was a quiet bus, this might be their way of "getting away". In an open space or a room or something that I could leave them alone should they wish to be? I'd ask if they were okay, and if they wanted to talk, I'd let them. If they didn't, I'd respectfully say something like "Whatever it is, I hope it turns out okay" or "Okay, take care" and then leave them in peace.

And yeah, I've been in this kind of situation a couple of times before. One person wanted to talk and did so) and the other one, in a bus stop, bawled "What? No, it's fine." and walked away and called someone on their mobile.

My gut reaction is to check on them and leave them alone if they want to be alone. If I was crying in public I'd like for at least one person to show they cared.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Shorty

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon

You offer a tissue (and forshame if you haven't a tissue) and you say something like this:

"Is there something I can do to help you?"

They'll take it from there. Source: People come in to the office I work in crying a lot.

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I don't carry tissues with me! D:

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You're the worst Cobb, seriously! :P

Yeah generally offering a tissue and letting them take it from there is a good way to go. Normally when I offer a tissue I try and make a somewhat light-hearted comment that shows a little compassion and a willingness to talk but without obligation on their part.

Man, I carry practically everything in my bag, but not tissues! Perhaps I should offer them some hand sanitiser or something.

If they looked at me, I'd ask them if they were ok. If they were just staring at the floor or something, I'd guess that they want to be left alone.

encroach a little towards them, say "are you all right?" in the kindest tone, then after they respond, unencroach if assistance is not necessary.

I will cry with the person so that he/she wouldn't feel lonely. :bigsmile:

Whip out a straw and get that sweet, sweet salty eye-juice.

i would flash mob them. nothing cheers someone up like a flash mob! i plan a flash mob everywhere i go, just in case someone needs to smile that day

tell them they'd look prettier if they smiled since that's what men always tell me :D