Let's Watch Gossip Girl [warning: some mature content]

Alrighty, let's get this started!

Let's try to avoid spoilers please for those who haven't seen the show!

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Haha, my images are so big, it got cut off! I'll make them smaller next time around.

The privileged prep school teens on Manhattan's Upper East Side learn that Serena van der Woodsen is back.

This is basically a drama about a bunch of teenagers who have more money than I will ever see in my life.

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So we see that girl getting off of the train. Then this "Gossip Girl" basically... well gossips. She has sources, meaning a bunch of teenagers who send her things because they have nothing better to do. So GG (gossip girl) finds out Serena is back and has some picture sources.

Serena had been gone to boarding school for a year for unknown reasons. But I'm sure whatever those reasons are, they will be full of drama.

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Meanwhile, Dan and Jenny are there to meet their less glamorous dad after they took a trip to see their mother, who apparently decided to leave their dad. There's some awkward conversation about how happy she may or may not be.

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Lonely boy is GG's name for Dan.

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Oh, the love of his life. Already making for some drama. And you know she barely knows he exists.

So then another character, Blair, is having a party at her house thanks to her mother. Just to add more drama to the already drama infested episode:

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Of course! It wouldn't be a teen drama without this type of thing.

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Then we meet Blair's boyfriend (pictured above), Nate Archibald, who was thinking that instead of going to Dartmouth, because really who wants a dart in their mouth anyway, he might want to check out West. His dad isn't going to hear of it because... well why not force your kids to do exactly as you want them to?

Knowing that Serena is back in town, Blair does what any sensible, mature girl who trusts her boyfriend would do.

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Why would she want to wait when the girl you have a thing for is back in town? She needs to seal the deal! Who better to lose your virginity to than a man you don't trust?

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Chuck (the guy in the middle) has an expression that explains my feelings on the matter. This is also supposed to show how obsessed with GG everyone is.

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I know how in high school we were always looking for huge piles of drama to pile on to our lives. Yep. Exactly this.

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This is supposed to show how super good of friends Blair and Serena are (used to be?). Then Blair's mom, who had verbally assaulted her earlier in the episode about her looks, feels the need to tell Blair through the door that Serena is here.

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This is exactly what you want your boyfriend that you just through yourself at to do when he hears your friend is back in town.

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Her face says no. No she doesn't.

So Serena shows up at the party and goes to talk to her mom who is rambling about furniture and Serena asks "How is he?" Who is this mysterious "he?"

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Her mom tells her this isn't the time to discuss it and to go chat with her friends.

So Blair's mom is happy to see Serena and reserved her a seat at their table next to Blair. Sadly, or happily, Serena says she has to bail.

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I felt the need to include the thought bubble because you can just see the love in Blair's eyes.

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Bitch face is a very common theme in most teen dramas.

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And there we have Blair trying to save face because no, no she didn't.

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Uh oh. Serena used to be a bad girl! I'm sure that won't come up as a plot device ever.

So turns out Serena is at some place that has visiting hours, which are over. But she pushes her way through, explaining that she's family.

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LE GASP

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Gossip Girl tells people to send her information on this stuff because the high schoolers here just eat that junk up.

Then Gossip Girl is like "Who am I?"

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Why would you even bring that up? Then we get to see the opening credits. Yep, all of that before the credits.

So Serena is chillin with her brother who mentions there must be a ton of rumors about why she came back.

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D'aww. So we know something is up with her brother. She talks about kidnapping him for breakfast but her mother comes in and says no. Serena gets upset and learns that her mother told people he was off visiting an aunt when really he is here because he tried to kill himself.

So moving on

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Cool dad of Dan and Jenny is talking about his old rockstar days and making some quesadillas or something.

Then Jenny is seen making invites because she got invited to a super cool party as long as she made the invites. Her dad says that the sweatshops could learn from that. She tells him it isn't the time to be a socialist or something.

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But of course he's "cool dad" so he lets her go.

Then we see Nate going to see Serena and comments about how she's staying at a hotel and tries to talk with her.

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REJECTED

Anyways, Nate, Dan, and Chuck all end up on a public bus to go to school because... I don't know? Chuck and Nate are rich enough to buy the bus and everyone on it so I'm not sure what's up. Chuck basically talks about how hot Serena is and tells Nate to admit that he totally would. Chuck then accuses Dan of being a stalker because he happens to go to the same school, basically.

Now we get to school! Jenny hands over the invites to Blair and then Serena shows up. There is so much bitch face going around, it would take my 25 pic limit just to show you that. Serena notices the party invites and asks where it is. Blair tells her it's on Saturday.

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Serena then asks if she can talk to Blair later, and Blair says she can't because she has plans with Nate.

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Blair agrees and GG makes a huge deal about the showdown. Saying things like "Did Serena honestly think she could just come back and everything would be the same?" and "Did Blair think Serena would give up without a fight?"

WHO TALKS LIKE THIS

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That's a face that says yes. Yes they can.

Meanwhile, cool dad Rufus (hehe) is hanging up posters for his concert or something, rambling about musicians, when Jenny sends Dan an emergency text. Concerned for his sister, he goes to see her immediately.

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That's the same thing. Fashion emergency, medical emergency, whatever, all the same.

Jenny can't afford the dress but says she can sew one like it. Yay having talent!

Then Serena, who had busted her brother out of the psych ward, shows up at the mall. Her brother, Eric, lies and says he is Serena's personal stylist and shopper. Jenny gives Serena an invite to Blair's party.

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She tries to introduce Dan, but he's off hiding behind coat racks. Smooth.

Meanwhile, Nate is acting like he's on death row because Blair, who he has been dating since Kindergarten, wants to have sex with him.

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Meanwhile, Serena tries to catch up with Blair, who isn't super fond of the idea.

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Apparently her dad left her mom for another man. I summed up half of the scene for you in that thought bubble. They eventually manage to start to patch things up, Blair being hurt Serena took off, Serena saying there were things she needed to get away from. Hugs were had, Blair's left, Serena's downed martinis.

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NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS

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Then chuck shows up with some "witty" banter and hits on her because why not. Eventually he offers her a grilled cheese in truffle oil (ew?) and she leaves with him drunkenly.

Dan had a talk with his sister and decided to go down to the hotel to see her, but she just left. Oh well.

Then we get to see Blair's plans with Nate. She's all lingerie'd up for him.

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UH OH WHAT HAPPENED NOW

Anyways, that's enough for tonight. Find out what happens next time!

This is great. Man, memories are flooding back at how stupid this show is.

Needed more screen caps of Chuck Bass. Basically I just want all the screen caps to be of Chuck Bass. Man, I love Chuck Bass; almost as much as Chuck Bass loves Chuck Bass.

Chuck Baaaaass.

Chuck Bass gets better as time goes on. He looks a bit scruffy here.

True, but I love him in all incarnations.

I dunno, man. I love me some Chuck Bass, but he did try to rape Serena in this episode.

I never said he was a good person.

Fair enough.

He cleans up nicely later on with the suits but at first (in my opinion) with the weird hairdo and the scarf, he looks like such a douche.

Oh that Serena being all good girl but I was bad but now good attitude. Chuck doesn't care!

Can we all agree Blair is the prettiest girl on this show? Gah, her beauty pisses me off.

Also, I like that in the first couple of seasons GG took text messages, emails, and picture messages. Later GG took videos and that was just weird.

I agree that Blair is ridiculously pretty, yes

Part of the reason I watched all of Gossip Girl may have been because of my slight girlcrush on Leighton Meester. :3

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We have Chuck paying off the kitchen people to leave early as Serena eats her odd grilled cheese sandwich. He goes up to her and starts flirting, which she doesn't appreciate. He takes this as an opportunity to threaten her.

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We then get to see some drunk Serena and Nate flirting in a flashback.

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We then get to see Blair's face, which heavily indicates that Nate just told her the same thing. She asks if all they did was just kiss and he looks very depressed, implying they did more.

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I would probably look like that too.

Then we see Serena and Nate taking off each others clothes in the flashback and Serena now saying she's trying to be a better person.

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Really didn't take them long to get this drama going.

Chcuk then starts forcing himself on Serena, who is not having it.

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Eventually she kicks Chuck in the groin and walks out.

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Blair, obviously upset, asks Nate to leave and then we see some alternating scenes of the flashback with Nate and Serena, Serena being upset, and Blair crying.

As Serena is exiting, she bumps in to Dan and spills some of her purse contents. Dan helps her pick it up and leaves, but then Dan notices she left her phone.

Next scene, we see Nate running with his dad, who is honestly wearing a Dartmouth shirt. How in love with this school is that guy? Nate tries talking to him about how he and Blair aren't meant to be and his dad comments how he's trying to lock a deal with Blair's mom.

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Aaaaand we have winner of dad of the year award.

Presumably the next day, we have Dan at the hotel trying to return Serena's phone. The desk man is obviously suspicious of him and calls over Serena when she comes in to the lobby.

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To his shock and awe, she does remember him and thanks him for returning the phone. He is amazed someone could actually remember him. Then Serena's mom comes over saying she got a dress for Serena for the upcoming party.

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She then decides to drag Dan in to her lies by saying she has plans with him. Her mother asks what they are.

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Dan, totally being cool with being dragged in to this by a girl who didn't know he existed until yesterday, uses his dad's concert as an excuse for her.

Then Serena actually agrees to go with him, which is nice of her since he is madly in love with her, but a bit presumptuous since she didn't know that.

Meanwhile, Blair and Nate are having an awkward dinner where Nate is trying to get her back to help out his father. How does he get her back?

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Poor insecure Blair agrees to this plan and says she overreacted and will believe him since he says its in the past.

I'm sorry but your boyfriend sleeping with your best friend and you being upset about it is not an overreaction.

Lily (Serena's mom) goes over to the gallery where Rufus (Dan's dad) works and basically verbally berates him and demands to know why her daughter is dating Dan.

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Good reaction from Rufus.

Lily, apparently being a self-absorbed ego maniac, accuses Rufus of setting this up to get to her.

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Then they have some memories that imply they used to date

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And Lily tells Rufus to stay away from her.

Mmmmmmmmmmm Chase Crawford. Yummmm.

I also have always thought that Lily looks like some kind of bird.

Dan and Jenny get ready for their respective nights.

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Me.

And Blair also gets ready, which she does wrong and disappoints her mom.

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Blair tries to stand up to her but fails.

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Aaaaand mom of the year award.

Then the Kiss on the lips party starts and Jenny arrives in a hand-sewn dress of her own. She is spotted by Chuck Bass.

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Who is being a major creep.

Dan and Serena head to see his dad in concert, but arrive pretty early before the show.

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There's some chuckle chuckle flirt flirt as Serena and Dan admit this is a date.

Back at the party, Chuck moves in on Jenny

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DON'T DO IT JENNY!! But of course, she does. This leads to him kissing on her and making her uncomfortable so she texts her brother.

He at first mistakes this for another cry-wolf scenario so she tries again.

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4 real dan, ths is srs

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Serena agrees to go to her rescue, having just had an encounter with Chuck herself.

So they go to the party and everyone is all gossip gossip whisper whisper, apparently having nothing going on in their own lives. Blair is upset.

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If looks could kill. Nate says he's just going for a walk and Dan goes around looking for Jenny. He says he can't find her, and Serena suggests they check the roof, where this is happening:

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Chuck is a stand up guy.

Dan punches him and Serena yells and Chuck STILL can't remember Dan. He uses the "this is a party, stuff happens" excuse for his attempted rape, which is awful. Serena tells him to stay away from Jenny.

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Good Guy Chuck.

Then Dan, Serena, and Jenny grab a cab and leave.

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Then Dan asks Serena if he has a chance at a second date, which is really the best timing. Saved sister from almost being sexually assaulted? Time to ask a girl out. Serena says they'll talk about it in the cab, which they do not.

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Thanks Gossip Girl!

Next time, we will start episode 2. Yep, that much drama in one episode.

Chuck Bass Attempted Rape Count: 2

haha nice tally.

Heck I don't even have to watch the show with this commentary! It's weird seeing Taylor Momsen as Jenny now. I was getting used to her in pretty reckless. With her raccoon eyes.



Although Leighton Meester also sang but Taylor Momsen is doing a lot better than Leighton's singing career. I guess that's what you get for jumping into the pop scene compared to being a hot girl in a rock band.

SPEAKING OF RAPISTS, her popular song was with Robin Thicke. It's okay.

Oh gosh, Kaycee. Its just



its awful

I'm like 99% sure that's not even Taylor Momsen. Not just that she's lipsyncing for the video--that's pretty common--that's not her.

She's always showing her tits at her shows now, it's all over the internet now hahaha

She was such a good gossip girl :(

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never forget :(

Here's her first video after she left Gossip girl. She left mid season and you can tell by how the story progresses for her.



I kinda like The Pretty Reckless....

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xXxhardxcorexXx

If I remember correctly, in that video you can tell, she was still under 18 so they had to not completely show her nude or whatever. You can see like LENS FLARES when she's in her underwear haha

So hardcore with her raccoon eyes.

I will say its fun watching the show knowing who Gossip Girl is. It puts it in a different light. I had been wondering if they just chose last minute who it would be, and they may have, but some of the earlier scenes seem almost set up for it.

I'm pretty sure they chose last minute. They set it up for basically anyone. I really thought Georgina for a long time.

LEIGHT MEESTER :heart:

They claim they knew who it would be from the beginning but it was a matter of whether or not they were going to make the artistic choice to reveal it. I'm not sure I believe that though.

They probably did set it up so it could look like anyone but one thing I found interesting DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO GOSSIP GIRL IS was after the first "who am I? thats one secret I'll never tell" you see Dan closing his laptop after surfing on the Gossip Girl website which was kind of a "huh" moment watching it.

That's pretty neat. It would be interesting to keep a running tally of who they focus on after each time that line is said to see if they spread it fairly evenly or if it's weighted towards the actual Gossip Girl.

Who Gossip Girl isI think it's funny in one episode in the first episode Jenny is like, "DAN YOU GOOBER LOSER WHY ARE YOU ON GG?" And he's like, "UUUUUH"

Keeping a tally might be interesting, I'll see if I can remember. Speaking of which, let's find our handy dandy teen drama checklist:

Teen Drama Themes:

• Someone will cheat on someone. Usually happens many times throughout the show - Nate and Serena
• There will be a love triangle - Nate/Serena/Blair
• Someone will have a drug problem *drug use has been seen, but no drug problem story line yet
• The parent themes:
  
  • There will be a dead parent
  • There will be an uninvolved/detached parent
  • There will be an involved but bad parent - Blair's mom/Nate's dad
  • There will be a normal parent who will be regarded as a great parent for actually being involved in their child's life - Rufus
  • A parent will at some point become irrelevant
  
  
• There will be a story line involving unknown family members
• At least one character will end the show completely different from the person they started as
• At least one of the main cast will be gone by the end of the show
• Two people will try to declare their love, but will keep getting interrupted
• Two people will be about to start something only to have someone waltz in and become a romantic interest for one of them
• They'll go back to their old high school even though they aren't in high school anymore
• At least one of them will find absurd amounts of success not long after graduating high school
• Their plans to go to colleges all over the country or oversees will fall flat and they will stay in the same area with the same people
• There will be a "loser" who becomes one of the popular kids
• Someone has an STD
• Someone has an pregnancy scare
  
  • Bonus points for an actual pregnancy
  
  
• Someone has an eating disorder
• Someone is a self-harmer
• Someone is sexually assault - Thanks Chuck Bass
• Someone comes out and then struggles with their sexuality
• Someone goes to prison
• Someone attempts suicide (kind of moot because Eric) - Eric :P
• Someone ODs
• Someone has an accident and people think they're dead
• Case of mistaken identity
• A character is mistaken for a prostitute
• A character dates someone who is famous (whether they're real famous or a fake famous character)
• Someone cheats on exams
• Someone is expelled
• Someone is doing something against school rules and is almost expelled, and someone else takes the fall for them
• Someone leaves their phone behind and someone else steals it and pretends to be them

5 in one episode. Not bad.

EDIT:
Make that 6

Someone goes to prison
Someone attempts suicide (kind of moot because Eric)
Someone ODs
Someone has an accident and people think they're dead
Case of mistaken identity
A character is mistaken for a prostitute
A character dates someone who is famous (whether they're real famous or a fake famous character)
Someone cheats on exams
Someone is expelled
Someone is doing something against school rules and is almost expelled, and someone else takes the fall for them
Someone leaves their phone behind and someone else steals it and pretends to be them

Just some more ideas :D

Added them in.

Gosh teen dramas are predictable. Just reading the list I could think of examples offhand for GG, OTH, and 90210

I know, right? I honestly wasn't specifically thinking of GG plot points when I made those up, but I know they all fit (because I've seen 80% of this show).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jinx

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xXxhardxcorexXx

---

She looks like she pressed her eyes against one of those prank telescopes.

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Yeah, I try not to make fun of people's sense of person style (because I don't want people to do the same to me)

but

lol

Never said I was criticising her - there are just some objective similiarities. :p

even still

lol

(for the record, i think taylor momsen is gorgeous, even if she isn't really my type)

I agree. I was looking through some of her photos just before when we were talking about her, and dayum. I remember thinking that when I watched the series too - (SPOILER)everyone was criticising her for wearing more makeup and whatnot, and I was like "No, this is working for her, let her be."

I just call her style now racoon eyes or panda eyes would work too. What do you call that?

Yeah, Alayna

I definitely like her more when she looks more innocent and natural. But like, everyone has their own style. Let people be themselves and express themselves however they want. I know I kind of joke about her, but ultimately I'd like to just let her do her. I would feel pretty sad if people teased me about my hot pink glasses and my (want to do) purple hair and cat-eye eyeliner. She can do whatever she wants, and I applaud her for being herself in the face of critics.

Still, at the end of the day, she's not really my type.

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In the wake of the scandalous Kiss on the Lips party, Serena receives an ice cold reception from her friend, Blair.

So Dan and Jenny are talking about how Dan blew things with Serena the previous night.

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Dan, a bit slow, agrees to go walk her to the door but bonks his head on the cab and instead decides to leave. Serena looks at him and he waves to her and the cab drives off.

Yep.

Serena is talking about the same thing with Eric.

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That's the only logical conclusion. Guy waves at me? He must hate me.

Dan and Jenny continue talking about this because apparently GG can make a 10 minute long scene out of a wave.

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But then Dan decides he's going to try and go and get Serena back.

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And Serena confesses her crush on Dan.

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Blair, meanwhile, is getting ready for the Bart Bass (Chuck's dad) hotel benefit brunch. Yep, all of today's drama will happen in the space of one day.

So she calls her boyfriend who is obviously hung over.

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Nate wakes up Chuck who is in bed with two of the hotel staff. They leave and Chuck and Nate get talking about whatever drama nonsense happened last episode.

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Serena decides to mend fences with Blair, who was glaring at her the whole time of the party, Nate decides to go see Serena, and so does Dan.

So Dan arrives and gets dirty looks from the receptionist man and sits and waits for Serena who just stepped out to go meet Blair, who is ignoring her calls.

And then Nate shows up to try and meet Serena as well.

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Then Nate agrees to wait for her, seeing that Dan is also waiting for her, and Lily is obviously upset that Dan is waiting for her.

Goodness this show.

So Nate and Dan are awkwardly waiting for Serena.

Then Serena shows up at Blair's house and Blair is being a bitch towards her. Then Serena is all like "what's up I thought we were friends again?"

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Serena asks who told her and Blair says Nate.

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Blair tells her to stay away from her and her boyfriend and her friends.

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After Serena leaves, Jenny shows up at Blair's house pretending to be returning some pens.

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Jenny does want to know and Blair says they aren't saying anything about her. She says Chuck prefers talking about his conquests and not his victims, which implies he's done this before and PEOPLE ARE TOTALLY OKAY WITH THIS

Then she tells Jenny she can help her get dressed.

Lily and Rufus talk about Dan.

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And Rufus says he's the kind of boy she does need. Lily also hints that she's seeing someone, but no one serious.

Then Chuck finds Nate and Dan waiting for Serena outside of the hotel and they of course get in to a fight because why not. Dan tries to punch Chuck again and Chuck wants to fight and Nate hold him back.

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This is just... too much drama for one morning.

Blair doesn't like her dress and Jenny loves it and they talk about Dan's cabbage patch kid. Then when she finds out Jenny's brother is Dan and she asks if Jenny is Serena's friend. Jenny says she has nothing against her, but doesn't care if someone else does. Then Blair gives her the dress for her answer.

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And Jenny is all like "omgthx"

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Well this is promising. I'm sure this won't come back and bite her in the butt.

Dan finally finds Serena and basically asks her out to eat after some long drawn out nonsense.

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Then Serena's mom shows up and acts like she will disown her daughter if she doesn't go to the brunch thing. Serena says she would but Dan is literally starving to death. The compromise is apparently her going WITH Dan.

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Jenny returns home and attempts to bond with cool dad Rufus. He asks where she got the dress and she tells him.

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Then we are FINALLY at the brunch thing and Bart is asking his son about the black eye.

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He says its so Chuck can be a part of something that matters some day. Then he tells Chuck to not drink so much in the morning.

Then Dan and Serena show up and everyone is all OMGTHENERVEOFTHEM4RLZ

Nate sneaks a look at Serena to go talk with him in private.

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He gives Serena the key to Chuck's suite and invites her up there in 10 minutes so they can discuss things. Afterwards his dad approaches him regarding his relationship with Blair.

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I don't even need to point out how ridiculous he is. But I did anyway.

Chuck approaches Blair and asks if she's worried about Nate being around Serena.

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Chuck gives Blair a key to his suite (yep) and she approaches Nate for some friskiness.

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Of course they just end up finding Serena in the room.

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Serena tells Blair that Nate invited her to talk and some bitchy arguing follows with them calling each other unclassy sluts. Blair threatens to tell Dan about Serena's antics.

Outside the party, Dan, looking for Serena, overhears a conversation between Lily and Bart.

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Lily wants Bart to see her exclusively.

Lily then notices Dan and tells him to not tell Serena and he agrees to mind his own business.

Blair finds Dan back at the party, and everyone else decides to join in on the drama in some big drama circle.

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Chuck spills the beans and Dan is upset. Then Chuck decides to antagonize Dan further by asking about his sister, Jenny.

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Dan then pushes Chuck and leaves the brunch.

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She says what's in the past is past and if he can't accept her for who she is now, then he isn't the person she thought he was.

Dan goes home and Rufus asks if he found Serena.

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Then Dan gives Jenny some advice.

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He tells her not to tell them anything.

Blair and Nate decide to stay together.

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And Dan goes back to being a loser while Jenny becomes one of Blair's minions, according to Gossip Girl.

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And that is all for today!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by shion

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---

derp

So conniving! Jenny, you get away from Blair right now!

Where have you seen to, Freya?

Let's just say, Jenny turns into a huge bitch in her own right.

Second season? Maybe third? I forget.

Tonight we might have a special sharky watches gossip girl because he hates these types of shows so it might provide some amusing commentary :3:

Hi gang! Shion decided that there weren't enough guys participating in this discussion, so she coerced me into sitting down and suffer watching this train wreck with her. Oh boy! :stare:

So join in the fun with your ol' pal Sharky! Shion has provided the "story" and I will provide my commentary.

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Blair uncovers scandalous information about Serena that may not remain secret much longer. (So basically the same as every other episode of every other drama show. Got it.)

The characters of GG are getting ready for Ivy week. (So the blue bloods are getting ready to rely on their parent's money and pedigree to fail their way up the ladder of success. Got it.)

Dan wants to get in to Dartmouth. (Dan proves he's all grown up and ready for higher education by shaving at an 8th grade level. Some how I don't think Dartmouth is interested in a student that can't display basic motor skills. Nevertheless, Dan thinks his chances are very strong for being selected as the Usher to represent his school at the Ivy mixer. Here his expression oozes confidence. It might look like blood, but that's liquid confidence.)

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Nate's dad wants him to go to Dartmouth. (Apparently India has nothing on the New England mege-wealthy when it comes to the caste system. Arranged marriages? That's nothing. We arrange your whole life! Meanwhile Nate would rather take a few hits of the sweet ganja with his bossom buddy, Chuck Bass.)

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Blair wants to get in to Yale. (Blair says she wants to go to Yale, but so far it just seems like Blair wants to burn Serena at the stake. So much drama, and it's still opening credits!)

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Serena wants to go to Brown.

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(Impress the brown rep?!?!? Is that still where we're at? You'd think a woman of her means and wealthy background would be cultured enough not to refer to someone by their skin color. I'm sure she's been taught to refer to them all as "the hired help." Show some respect!)


And Chuck doesn't seem to care much. (Our main man Chuckers wants to go to Jersey and have sex with easy women. Somewhere in there, school might happen. Maybe Yale. smurf it. Who cares? He's rich.)

Dan worries about impressing Dartmouth since he doesn't come from an Ivy league family, whereas Nate tells the man deciding the school ushers that he doesn't really even want to go to Dartmouth. (Gee, can they telegraph this upcoming plot point any harder?)

Serena is late for the assembly, which Blair has little sympathy for.

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(No, but they should.)

And in the end, Nate gets the Dartmouth usher role.

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Dan confronts Nate about how he's only getting it because of his family, and recommends Nate read a book written by the Dartmouth representative. (Dan get's a pretty massive knot in his panties about this one, which is understandable. He'll never become an established writer! None of the classic writers ever suffered! GAH! Nate remains rather removed from the whole situation.)

Blair meanwhile plans Serena's social demise with help from Chuck.

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(Why does a kid with this much money have nothing better to do than to follow around one girl to dig up dirt for another girl? Why indeed. Because Chuck claims he's a bitch sometimes, but all I see is typical creep-o Chuckers stalking Serena......in his smurfing limo. Right now my favorite character is his driver, because he manages to make a limo stealthy.)

And Dan goes home to pout to his dad.

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(Rufus acts like he wants to help Dan, but I'm pretty sure he just wants him out.)

Being cool dad Rufus, he goes to Lily, the head of the Ivy league whatever counsel, and asks for Dan to have some way to participate in the Ivy league event.

Chuck spying for Blair and finds Serena visiting her brother at the Ostroff Center. (Le gasp!)

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(Remember. This guy has enough money to do almost anything else he wants to right now. He chose this. :eep: )

And Serena, Eric, and Lily wonder what is best for Eric in terms of leaving treatment.

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In the end, they reach a compromise of Eric leaving treatment for a few hours to accompany Serena to the Ivy league event. (Like all compromises, this means no one is truly happy. Like all TV drama compromises, I'm sure this means some one will be petty about it later.)

Rufus has some news about the event to share with Dan.

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(So Dan learns that even when he eventually gets into his Ivy League school, his poor background means he'll still be expected to work in food services.)

He says there is now, because Rufus offered his services as head of the entertainment committee.

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(Apparently Ivy League mixers are all about some '90s post punk math rock.)

And thus begins the party

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(Also apparently, 90's post punk math rock means you have one guy who knows how to play a stand up bass?)

Things start off well with Serena trying to sabotage Blair when she's talking to the Yale rep, as she's trying to identify with his love of the outdoors. (Some one wake me up for the good parts.)

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Dan calls her out on it. (Dan makes some good points, but he so damn WHINY about it. An angsty writer. He's a true original.)

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And Nate, realizing he's bombing with the Dartmouth rep, which he doesn't care about because he doesn't want to go to Dartmouth, gives Dan his spot. (Good guy, Nate? Nah. I'm sure the only reason is so that Dan can cover his escape.)

Which of course leads to his dad fussing at him. (Escape thwarted! You can't run from your arranged life that easily! You're so close to making all of your dad's your dreams come true!)

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And Nate telling his dad to shove off. (He's such a BAMF. Watch out ladies.)

Eric and Jenny bond over his recent troubles.

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(The Ostroff Center?!?! That's where Chuckers saw Serena at!!!! Golly!!!!)

And Blair tries to humiliate Serena. (Same as always.)

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Thinking Serena went to the Ostroff Center because she is a recovering alcoholic, Blair announces this in front of everyone under the guise of congratulating her for working with her issue, trying to ruin Serena's chances with Brown. Serena takes the fall for her brother and then tries to call a cease fire with Blair.

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Which Blair refuses. (Of course she does! "I'll stop the major plot point if you will." Then you're both out of a job! That's madness!!")

Eric, however, pulls Blair over to tell her the truth.


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(Don't laugh jerks. Opening up cans up cat food can be very dangerous.)


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(When you look like a preteen member of Nsync I guess you need a lot of protecting.)

And knowing this, Blair later on decides to make amends with Serena, who also received a gift basket from the Brown rep who had family in the Ostroff Center. Dan also got his book signed by the Dartmouth rep. (Nothing says, "Sorry you're addicted to heroin." like a basket of muffins.)

Blair finds Serena and shows her a letter. (Dear Playboy, My boyfriend wants me to try the strangest thing.....)

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In the letter, Blair talks about the troubles with her dad leaving and having Serena leave without a word. (Bros before hos, dawg. You can't leave your peeps hangin' like that.)

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Does this mean they'll be friends again? (Can these two hug it out? Will they bump fists and start the healing? Will Ross and Rachel ever end up together? Who gives a s**t?!?!?)

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And that's all for this time! (Can I go now? I can go now, right?!?! YOU SAID AFTER THIS WAS OVER THAT YOU WOULD UNTIE ME!!!)

Sharkys commentary is awesome xD

Haha, loving the commentary very much, Sharky. I hope you're a regular guest! :D

BUMP

Ugh sorry guys, this is actually a huge pain in the butt to do and I got busy :(

Anyone want to take over?