How often would you kick a dog if every time you kicked it, it pooped out gold?

Well?

Still nope

Do you have to dig for the gold between the poop?

Still no, but I am curious about these things.

Step 1. Get bad tempered asshole dog that isn't cute.
Step 2. Wait.
Step 3. *CENSORED*
Step 4. Profit.

I assume this hypothetical dog is normal in every other way? In that case, no kicks. Ever.

Because if it's some magical dog that can crap gold, it might also be invulnerable to physical beatings, and actually enjoy a swift kick in the ribs.

If it's the second type of dog, I'm punting the trout out of it. Literally. Trout. Out of it. That's gold you fools!

Depends on how hard I would have to kick it. Also, your original premise does not disallow anaesthetics.


If I could get away with kicking it gently enough to not cause permanent damage, I would kick it until I had enough gold to live off of the interests for the rest of my life.

Kick a dog?!!! Who would do such a thing? You heartless bastards!

Twice a day and thrice on Sunday.

Is it the act of kicking these animals? or is it the shock of being kicked? The pressure of it? If so couldn't you just lightly apply pressure and POP gold or maybe do jump scares to get it to poop gold.

Every time I saw the little bastard.

I eat animals, I wear animals, I mol... uh, anyway. If I'm willing to do that stuff why wouldn't I beat one up for another personal benefit?

Besides, I can use some of the gold to invest in an animal shelter, it'll balance out.

I would only kick Jindos as they are horrible and ugly dogs.

have you even seen a chiwawa

or bull terriers

YOU BE KIND TO THE BULL TERRIERS

They are literally the only dogs I've ever thought are actually ugly

They look like God ran out of dog skin halfway through making them

Bullseye the Target Dog has words for you Huxley :colbert:

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What's wrong with their eyes :gonk:

Ugliest dog breed I've ever seen is a shih tzu (inb4 Monda comes and chases me off)

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Originally Posted by Jinxie Poo

The ugly dogs are Yorkies.

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I'll kick you repeatedly and I don't even need gold for it.

I'm too much of a pansy to kick a dog.

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Originally Posted by Jinxie Poo

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Psychotic

I would only kick Jindos as they are horrible and ugly dogs.

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hahaha waiting for miriel and del

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Well don't hang a lampshade on it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jinxie Poo

Listen, I know you need to take out your anger for what I'm guessing is the fact that you own the world's ugliest dog. But take it out on the dog--after all, it'll trout a diamond!--not me.

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I bet if dog would trout me a diamond, you would've trout me something much more valuable. Satisfaction.