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At what age do you think it's appropriate to give a kid The Sex Talk? What do you tell them? Did your parents ever give you such a talk?
I don't remember any particular talk from my mother (and sure as hell not from my father), but I'm not really decided myself. I know I'm the straight-forward type, to say the least.
BONUS! Watch parents give their kids the talk! It's gold.
It's a good venue for Julie Chen to show more of her identity and really come into her own as a TV personality.
I was 7.
I think my mum gave me the period talk when I was about 8 or 9 and was asking why my dogs foof was bleeding!
Never got a sex talk from my parents though.
I have no idea. The closest thing I got to the talk when I was young was:
Dad: Keep your pecker in your pants.
Mom: Wait until you're married.
I was a teenager during both statements.
Nah, I never really got a talk, just found out through some way or another. I remember my Mum was pretty open about sexual stuff from a fairly early age though.
I don't have children, but if I do one day I will make that decision based on time and circumstance.
As for when I got it? It was pretty weird. My school district was ahead of its time (I have no idea how it is now, so if what I'm about to say seems off or behind the times I mean more in the sense that prior to my generation sex ed wasn't really a concern/even existed from my understanding) and sex ed was very open. I was in 4th or 5th grade at the time. Classmates were too chicken to ask questions during the part where two or three teachers were roaming the room while answering questions, so they had me do it. I didn't care.
Looking back, I remember feeling pretty werided out by the teachers discussing the topic. At the time I thought it was simply because they suddenly were openly talking about sex, but now I realize it is because I saw the teachers lower their "talking to children" masks and spoke to us like adults. I'm willing to bet that they had a game plan to throw caution in the wind and just answer any question, no matter how ridiculous it was. You could totally tell some kids were taking advantage of the opportunity to say some lewd things, but the teachers played the whole thing straight the entire time.
Then randomly in 6th grade my parents told me to put a condom on if I ever had sex. Like, we were going somewhere in the car and my dad suddenly stopped at the end of the drive way. They both turned to me and started to talk about condoms. I could totally tell the felt awkward. Quote my mother, "Always wear a raincoat."
Me (joking around):"But if you did that I wouldn't be sitting here right now!"
Mom: "That's different."
Dad: "No, he's right, I really should have worn one back then."
Mom: [screams dad's name loudly]
My parents never talked to me about it. They didn't have to though because we learned about it in school from grade 6 (where we were taught about puberty) and grade 8 (our health class turned into sex ed class). Soooo yeah. All I remember was that I was really immature during the whole thing, saying 'eeew' a lot. xD
Never. No one wants to hear from their gross parents about sex. They'll learn about it like everyone else: from the internet, their peers, television, and sex ed.
Wait, what? Your dog's foot was bleeding so she talked you about periods? Wtf.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lockharted
That video is hilarious and also proves that parents should not be talking to their kids about this. It's awkward, painfully awkward and uncomfortable and none of them are even close to having sex yet so inappropriate. Poor kid at 3:38 is going to throw up and I don't blame him.
Nooo, foof is a slang for lady bits ;)
Ohhh, slang term in your motherland I suppose.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lockharted
I never got the talk either, think dad gave me a box of condoms at one point. That was about it haha
I think it's kind of an outdated thing now. Most kids have access to the internet way before they hit puberty.
I think I will probably talk about sex with my kids. Not the ins and outs of the act itself but just how important it is to be ready, and to be safe, and respectful and to just build a relationship with them where they feel comfortable and safe enough to tell me anything if they need too.
I was never given the talk. I didn't need it either.
The closest to it would probably be that one time my mother most likely heard me and my girlfriend getting it on, and then later told me "Just make sure to not make me a grandmother just yet".
My parents never sat me down for a "talk".
Although when I was about 8 or 9 I did ask my mom how humans "did it" and she informed me it was like how our pet guinea pigs we had did it (and they were always doing it). For some reason child-me had failed to make the connection that humans and guinea pigs did it in the same way. Yeah I don't know either.
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals!
I dunno what age I was. My Mum sat me and my older sister down at the same time to have a chat about it all. So at the time that it was appropriate for my sister to know, I was also lumped in there. Presumably because my Mum couldn't be bothered with the spiel twice. xD
My Mum was pretty open about sex and all that - like Locky said, not the ins and outs, but about the entire practice of being safe etc.
Never, it was done in school so I didn't need to ask!
I don't even remember if my parents told me or not.
Thankfully my parents never gave me 'the talk'. I think it just got to a stage where they presumed I knew and no-one has ever mentionned it! I was nervous enough telling them I'm pregnant as they would know I'd had sex!! *sacre bleu*.
I work in an area that has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe and therefore it is compulsory for us to start teaching sex ed in Year 1 (age 5-6). It's nothing too much, we just have to teach the children about 'real' names of our reproductive organs. Proves very entertaining when you have to ask 5 and 6 year olds what they call their "bits". To try and keep a straight face as a teacher is the hardest thing!
One parent came in to see me one day after giving her daughter a bath with her baby brother the day before and was a bit taken aback to hear her daughter say "look mummy, he's got a penis and I have a vagina!" *cringe*. All the parents had been warned and thankfully the mother found it quite amusing!
I have no idea what age is good. I started having sex ed classes in 4th grade. To me that seems a bit early since it was a good 3 or 4 years before I started paying much attention to girls.
I never really had a talk with my parents. My mom tried once but I told her I'd already had sex ed 5 times. Seriously why did I need sex ed every year from 4thgrade until 10th grade!? And then they wonder why kids start trout so early.
Never got the talk myself, which to be honest I kind of miss since it would've been cute embarassing experience haha. I never needed it tho, I was virgin since 18 and by then I long time knew what and how to do things so...
But I personally plan to give my future kids the talk at around 11 yo. I feel that by then kids are slowly starting to notice their sexuality and are usually mature enough to understand the important things.
I was given books.
By my sister.
The only talk I ever got happened when I was like 14 & My dad basically like, "I'll kick your ass if I find out you're doing anything."
Technical stuff like menstrual cycles I learned about in school. Yes, they taught the boys' health class about menstrual cycles in my school.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
I learned about female anatomy & stuff from my grandfather's nudie mags.
Do most kids generally get interested in sex (from more than a simple curiosity standpoint) pre-high school? Genuine question. I thought the entire concept was utterly disgusting until I was about 16. Maybe I was just odd.
My school asked for parent volunteers for the initial sex ed classes in 5th grade. My mom volunteered. It was all very technical like periods and stuff and basic sex ed. She asked me after what I thought and I just saw it as a technical learning thing. There was no talk as she was just there for the education thing.
What if they modded an Age of Empires tutorial for sex education?Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike
I can't remember how I learned about all that stuff. Not very effectively, as I remember sitting in middle school when I was 10/11 watching a sex-ed video in class. There was an illustration of a naked couple and the narrator said: "...and the couple hold each other intimately, and the man's penis gently slips inside the woman's vagina - completing the act of sexual intercourse."
When you're ten years old and that's the first information you're getting - there's a problem. And I grew up in a nice liberal part of the south of England, not somewhere zealously ultra-conservative. I know for a lot of people the adventure of discovery is a thrilling rite of passage. But then you get others who grow up not knowing what goes where and learning it all from internet porn.
When I have kids, if I'm lucky enough to have the Stork bring me some, they'll be sat down and getting the talk at the first sign of curiosity. I'll want them to grow up with knowledge and without shame. Poor sex education (and the negative ramifications of that such as high rates of unwanted pregnancies) is 100% the result of prudish adults who took that bit in Genesis about fig leaves a bit too literally.
My friends all lost their virginity by age 13. 1 girl was 11.
I wasn't interested/didnt care cuz I was an ugly duckling back then and no guys were interested in me anyway.
I wish I'd gotten the talk but my mom and I were barely on speaking terms most of my life. I lost my virginity at 14 to a guy much older than me who pressured me in to it and said really mean things and threatened to leave me if I didn't do it. I wish I'd had a more open relationship with my mother about that stuff
I do plan to have the talk with Michael, not just for education purposes but to establish an open line of communication. I don't expect him to want to come to me about sex, but I want him to be able to if he needs protection or is worried he might have an STD or any number of things that can come up. I'd rather he know he can talk to me even if its uncomfortable
Never. Learned everything I needed to from accidentally discovering the weird young adult body-changing aisle at Barnes & Noble when I was eleven, which I was extremely embarrassed about and did my best to not get caught visiting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike
I was interested in Girls but not sex. I remember my friend telling me to just have sex with some ugly girl because it felt good snd I was like "um no"
I don't trust myself to have good opinions because my father's "sex talk" with me was a prelude to sexually abusing me. I will defer to whatever Pike thinks. However, I would say my own inclination is frankness and openness from an early age.
Never had "The Talk", but sex was never a taboo subject in my house, so I guess I just gradually learned through various means. When growing up, there were never any 'Keep the door open when a girl is over' kind of rules, or any porn filters, and I didn't have to hide condoms or anything like that. I think it was just - "Enjoy it, and stay safe".
And I've always followed that rule.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike
High school was about when I became interested, honestly, but I was a bit atypical, I suspect.
As for the subject, my parents gave me books and things, but I can't remember how old I was or whether it happened before or after sex education started at school.
When I was in School we were about 10 when people gave us the first round of Sex Education. I remember it was a year 6 thing though at that age you really only covered the basics of what a penis is, what a vagina is, the pregnancy cycle and how a woman gives birth. You did it again in Year 9 which is when they went in to more details about safe sex and sexual diseases along with other bits and pieces such as chromosomes and why genetics can cause problems, why sex with your family members was bad.
That being said, most of the people I hung out with in school were older than me by a couple of years. As such, I learnt a lot more through them than in class. I remember a couple of the girls in year 10 trying to convince 11/12 years old me (I was year 7) that if I kissed a person I could get STDs etc. They weren't actually lying when you think of oral herpes but it was pretty smurfed up stuff to hear from a couple of 14/15 years old girls behind the art department. (They used me as a lookout whilst smoking, in return I didn't get bullied when with them. One of them was also responsible for teaching me how to kiss haha).
With my dad dead from the age of 3 and my mom never going on a date or so much as looking at another man I've never really had the talk from family. I remember my mom wanted my brother to say something to me at the age of 15 or 16 when we went away as a family for holidays. My brother's response to that was on top of a cliff to toss a pack of condoms at me and simply say "Stevie, if you're going to smurf any of the birds, make sure you put one of those one first. Remember, the roll goes on the outside so it goes over your dick easily." and walk off.
No talk, and there was no sex ed. I don't know how I or when I figured it out. Maybe I still haven't. I've got three kids, but maybe they're not mine and I wasn't doing it right all along!
Maybe I should've watched the video.
I never had a talk from my parents. My doctor did give me sort of a "talk" when I was 12 or so, but that was more of a safe sex spiel about condoms, birth control, and STDs rather than sex itself.
As for kids, I think it depends on the child. Ideally, I don't think there even would be a formal "talk," but instead having an open, uncensored environment where the child would feel free to initiate any questions or conversation on the topic as they're raised (instead of the common and ridiculous US strategy of actively trying to shield children from any type of sexual information). Though I think it would be a good idea to emphasize safe sex at a certain point.
I asked Danielle about this the other day. Probably early, especially if it's a girl because if we have a daughter growing up with Danielle's genes then she's going to be getting interest from guys a little earlier than she reasonably should. But the big thing these days is the internet. If you want to teach your kids before the internet does, you gotta get in their pretty damned quick. Danielle will be pretty upfront about it all and I think I'll probably leave it mostly to her.
I don't remember getting the talk.
I got sex ed in school. In terms of when to tell my children when I have them? Probably along the same lines as BoB. I haven't thought about it really until reading these posts.
I never got the talk, the closest thing was when my aunt took me and my brother to see a live showing of Rocky Horror when I was twelve and he was nine. I didn't really get it, I just liked that I got to throw confetti and shoot squirt guns.
probably at conception. it's best to get the ideas about proper sexual abstention ingrained in them when they're a zygote instead of when they've grown up into a fetus where they're much less likely to listen to their parents
I just imagined a dude screaming into a woman's vagina. "All OF YOU! DON'T DO WHAT I JUST DID!!"Quote:
Originally Posted by Denmark
Someone volunteer to do this and post the play-by-play of the fallout with the gf.Quote:
Originally Posted by SephexI just imagined a dude screaming into a woman's vagina. "All OF YOU! DON'T DO WHAT I JUST DID!!"Quote:
Originally Posted by Denmark
Bubba, we're counting on you.Quote:
Originally Posted by chionosSomeone volunteer to do this and post the play-by-play of the fallout with the gf.Quote:
Originally Posted by SephexI just imagined a dude screaming into a woman's vagina. "All OF YOU! DON'T DO WHAT I JUST DID!!"Quote:
Originally Posted by Denmark
Oh god no, are you crazy? Do you want Bubba to die? Not to a pregnant lady. Otherwise, Bubba would be the man to go to, but we missed our opportunity there. No, I mean someone who hasn't knocked his lady up.Quote:
Originally Posted by ToriJBubba, we're counting on you.Quote:
Originally Posted by chionosSomeone volunteer to do this and post the play-by-play of the fallout with the gf.Quote:
Originally Posted by SephexI just imagined a dude screaming into a woman's vagina. "All OF YOU! DON'T DO WHAT I JUST DID!!"Quote:
Originally Posted by Denmark
No, of course not. :shifty:Quote:
Originally Posted by chionos
I have to say, thinking back, my sex education was atrocious. For one thing, my family never gave me the sex talk. Not even in a casual, informal manner, too. It was never discussed. Presumably this has something to do with my family finding out I was bisexual, and probably didn't want to discuss all the 'icky' gay sex I could have. If there was a sex talk, it was about sexuality, not sex. These days, my sexuality is never discussed, which is made all the more tricky being in a relationship.
As for my school, I remember primary school giving me one lesson when I was in year 5, so I must have been about 9 or 10. It was essentially just an applied biology lesson. I do remember the boys and girls being separated and being given tailored gender-specific lessons. Which I always found odd at the time, because I thought a boy should be taught about the menstrual cycle, and so on. I googled it the next day.
Anyway, in secondary school, across all five years there was two lessons, that I can remember. I went to an all boys school, so there was definitely nothing on females. I remember the first lesson being in year 9, I think, and it was the fan favorite "put a condom on a cucumber" test, although for us we got the real analogue deal, a plastic erect penis. Chuckles ensued. The lesson went on about protection and the mechanics of sex, and that was it. The other one was literally all about STIs, in a joint venture brought to us by the science and (weirdly) the P.E department. It was just a slideshow with pictures of diseased penises.
And that was it. Now during most of my secondary school time (age 12-16), I was working in a youth centre, educating others about sex and relationships, and I learned more there than I ever did anywhere else. The crucial element missing from sex education in schools was relationships. There was diddly squat on consent, on what constitutes a healthy relationship, and nothing on alternative sexualities and sex practices.
In sort, sex education could have gone much better. At least I wasn't tripped up by it.