Finally, the Dunk review is here

Since putting down Final Fantasy VII Remake a few weeks ago, I've been very disappointed with the discourse surrounding this game.

I did not enjoy my overall experience with the game. I loved the combat, the music and the updated graphics. Many of the main story missions had amazing moments. However, it was the little things that started to needle me as I played the game. The voice acting, the padding, the bloated missions and so on.

Finally, someone gets it. Videogamedunky - not sure how many of you watch him - has posted his review of the game. I agree with it wholeheartedly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Qlf3b9wa4s

What are your thoughts?

I'll come back here tomorrow after seeing the video!

Disagree with him a lot on this one! Particularly about the characters and voice acting, which were superb.

Still, Dunkey good, video fun, can't wait for knack 3

I do agree about the Hobbitification and that all the best bits were mostly lifted from the original. And as a minor nitpick I 100% smurfing agree with the anime grunts! What!

I don't agree that there's no emotion though, and I don't think the emotion I felt was caused by nostalgia.

The robot arm. The damn robot arm.

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Originally Posted by Fox

Disagree with him a lot on this one! Particularly about the characters and voice acting, which were superb.

Still, Dunkey good, video fun, can't wait for knack 3

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I in particular have issues with Barrett, but I shouldn't get into this here.

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Originally Posted by Depression Moon

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Originally Posted by Fox

Disagree with him a lot on this one! Particularly about the characters and voice acting, which were superb.

Still, Dunkey good, video fun, can't wait for knack 3

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I in particular have issues with Barrett, but I shouldn't get into this here.

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I think you should.

Won't watch the video. I know the game has issues. But they are LITERALLY NOTHING to write about. Some sidequests are bloated padding. Don't do them. Some Story segments are given maybe a bit too much depth. Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Certain segments should have had the option to skip after completing the game ("pursuing Sephiroth", fighting Corneo's lackeys in Sector 7, the dance off, the Shinra MUSEUM, there's even a part in Chapter 8 where we're FORCED to watch Scarlet on TV. WHAT? WHAT!? WTF!?), and I hated everything about the whole "hand-over-hand" (Cloud/Tifa have to stop in place to change directions? WTF SQEX? WTAF) and the "forced pacing" is an insult to speedrunners everywhere.

Those stupid "warning" signs need to go too.

I couldn't disagree more with what I just watched… He evens goes as far as stating that the President says «mana» instead of «mako», when it is pretty clear to me he says «mako»! Is he actually paying attention to the game, or is he distracted with the sound of his own voice for this absurd review? What a waste of time!

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Originally Posted by Oaktree

I couldn't disagree more with what I just watched… He evens goes as far as stating that the President says «mana» instead of «mako», when it is pretty clear to me he says «mako»! Is he actually paying attention to the game, or is he distracted with the sound of his own voice for this absurd review? What a waste of time!

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I think you missed the point.

Regardless, everyone has their preferences. Certain things are just subjective, but I believe we do share a common idea of what is good and what is bad. FF VII Remake, to me, is bad game with some good elements. The bad elements of the game are worth writing about because SE intends to make more games. Perhaps they will take that into consideration in the next game. On second thought, no, no they won't.

I ....actually agree with him with almost everything this time around. Not to mention it actually feels like a more honest review from him and him just not trying to provoke the JRPG crowd ? Which there was some of that there, but compared to his past infamous JRPG reviews, it's a bit less troll-y.

I wonder if it was because Dunk was more chill because it wasn't turn based which he despises like the plague, so he more time to chat and joke about the problems with the story and how the gameplay just drags out so much instead.

Next TB JRPG he'll be back to his old self, I bet. Or maybe because I agree with him this time around, things feel different.

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Originally Posted by Psychotic

I And as a minor nitpick I 100% smurfing agree with the anime grunts!

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Still not as bad as Ashe's from FFXII but still pretty annoying.

I probably did, but I'll give it another more thoughtful go: the voice acting could be better, sure, but I don't think it is terrible and completely ruins the game. Maybe it's just nostalgia, maybe I'm still on honeymoon, but at some point I felt the urgency of preventing the plate from crashing down… I waltzed past the train graveyard and all those encounters in despair, knowing that I would never get there fast enough… The supposed deaths of the other Avalanche members struck a cord in me, same goes for Barret's cries for Marlene. So, saying «there's no emotions, you don't feel anything» is an overstatement — at least in my opinion.

What's wrong with evacuating the slums? They are concurrent events, not sequential. Aerith can go help Marlene and the others while Cloud and company fight everybody else! And, it is Aerith, someone Marlene has never heard of before… What would've happened if she stormed through Seven Heaven's doors and just grabbed the girl? «Who are you? Shut the f*** up and come with me! But my daddy… I said shut up and move your a**!» Yeah, that would do wonders to the girl's confidence… Would that be something Aerith would do? No, of course not. But, alas, I don't think anyone would!

Is he infuriated because she doesn't run with Marlene on her lap? Well, her whole world is crumbling… everyone is in a panic to get out of there, the least she could do is making sure she doesn't get even more upset with what's happening around them. Reassure her a little, «We'll be fine, everything and everyone will be fine, and you'll see your daddy again». And, once again, it's Aerith. Probably Barret would bulldoze everyone to get his daughter to safety, but he isn't there, is he?

Yeah, it isn't The Last of Us material… but I wasn't expecting it to be.

Seeing Sephiroth from the get-go is a problem? No, not for me. Probably because I played the original, so I already knew about his importance to the plot. I believe the same formula, «because the developers are savouring that moment for a big, spectacular reveal», would not have worked this time around. I get the feeling that if he only appeared at the end, some people would be complaining with that choice as well.

And is the robot hands section that much of a nuisance? Would it be better if I blitzed it in under five seconds? Once again, I disagree.

Yeah the slums evacuation was definitely one of the stronger new bits for me and did a lot for Aerith's character.

Dunkey doesn't make reviews, he makes comedic videos about games by taking a bunch of things out of context and commenting on them. I pity anyone who actually treats videos such as this one as a review. :p

Sadly this one wasn't even that funny.

On a related note, Zero Punctuation's FF7R video is available as well, https://www.escapistmagazine.com/v2/...o-punctuation/

I found that one a lot funnier, but then I find Zero Punctuation a lot funnier than Dunkey in general.

While yes, the robot arms should have been a skippable event (my god that $h!t's tedious), I enjoyed 80-90% of this game. I also think on replaying Chapter 2, you should be able to make it to the end of that collapsing bridge and climb the ladder. It's not as if wandering around Sector 8 really lent itself to anything anyway. But that's all beside the point.

I enjoyed many of the boss battles reconstructed from random encounters (i.e. Hell House, Ghoul, Eligor, Brain Pod, Swordipede) some of which were sidequests like Chromogger, plus the new boss encounters (i.e. Crab Warden). I enjoyed the more stylized squat (& pull-up) mini-game. I enjoyed Darts. I enjoyed Johnny (and he enjoyed me). I loved Tifa and Aerith's alt dresses (especially latter's alt entrances... Lol). I loved the bike-mini-game except for the janky steering and the lack of intuitiveness (if you're not purposely steering toward the wall or another bike, you should just ride straight automatically, the steering controls are NOT fine-tuned to maintain a smooth line).

I enjoyed the Easter Eggs (by the way, despite not being playable, d'y'all know Red has a pair of magic materia on his doggie collar?

Strangely enough, I actually ended up agreeing with him on some of his points, particularly how all the high points of the remake were taken from the original, the excessive amount of "anime grunts" (though still not even half as bad as in Advent Children), how they destroyed the pacing and removed any sense of drama and urgency, the continued milking of Sephiroth etc. but of course he still couldn't stop himself from cherry picking and taking things out of context i.e "The Mayor" code phrase.

Probably not as good as the Dunk review, but here's a GameSpot podcast about Remake too:

https://www.gamespot.com/videos/fina...t/2300-6452673

While playing Easy Mode at level 50, if you use the Enfeeblement Ring, watching the various froggy attacks is so damned fun.

Only cowards play on easy when using the enfeeblement rings

Okay

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Originally Posted by WarZidane

Dunkey doesn't make reviews, he makes comedic videos about games by taking a bunch of things out of context and commenting on them. I pity anyone who actually treats videos such as this one as a review. :p

Sadly this one wasn't even that funny.

On a related note, Zero Punctuation's FF7R video is available as well, https://www.escapistmagazine.com/v2/...o-punctuation/

I found that one a lot funnier, but then I find Zero Punctuation a lot funnier than Dunkey in general.

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Thanks for making this post so I don't have to. Dunk (and ZP for that matter) reviews should not be taken seriously. For anyone who does take them seriously, check out his Pokemon Let's Go Eevee and Pokemon Let's Go Pikachu reviews (note: important that you watch them both, not just one or the other) because they are excellent. :D

Agreed with WarZidane. Though I personally adore Yahtzee and can’t stand Dunkey for some reason, I feel it’s evidently clear that these are not actual reviews and more just riffing at a game that shouldn’t for the most part be treated as a serious, measured take.

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Originally Posted by Loony BoB

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Originally Posted by WarZidane

Dunkey doesn't make reviews, he makes comedic videos about games by taking a bunch of things out of context and commenting on them. I pity anyone who actually treats videos such as this one as a review. :p

Sadly this one wasn't even that funny.

On a related note, Zero Punctuation's FF7R video is available as well, https://www.escapistmagazine.com/v2/...o-punctuation/

I found that one a lot funnier, but then I find Zero Punctuation a lot funnier than Dunkey in general.

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Thanks for making this post so I don't have to. Dunk (and ZP for that matter) reviews should not be taken seriously. For anyone who does take them seriously, check out his Pokemon Let's Go Eevee and Pokemon Let's Go Pikachu reviews (note: important that you watch them both, not just one or the other) because they are excellent. :D

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What is satire?

You win Double Jeopardy!

But also:

sat·ire
/ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/

noun
the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

(For those who may seriously not know and don't know how to use Google.)