I considered ending it all...

It was horrible, I bought 10 bottles of Stella Artois this afternoon with the intent to drink them. After letting them chill in fridge while passing the time smoking homies like they was drugs in GTA: San Andreas, I went to fetch one from the fridge. To my horror I realised my lack of bottle opener...sufficed to say I panicked...this was my idea of hell on earth. I frantically looked for a way to open the bottle, too scared to try with my teeth and not adept enough to do it on the kitchen counter I broke in to a cold sweat. And then there on my desk lay my salvation, a pair of scissors. Don't ask how but I managed to pry it open with my trusty trimmers.

So anyone got any other bright ideas of how to pry open a beer bottle minus the vital tools?

Per chance, would it happen to be a twist top?

Or just go to a nearby store and grab a bottle opener for $.50.

You clearly haven't grasped the instant panic that a crisis like this produces, thanks for the suggestions but thankfully I'm not that stupid and going out at 10pm to find a bottle opener is not an easy task.

I've never been without the "vital tools." Everytime I go to open a beer (rarely) every guy around me reaches into his pocket and opens it for me.

My friend has mastered the knack of opening two bottles by hooking both caps onto each other and pulling hard.
And mastered the art of table opening.

Well, I say mastered, on a good day theres half the drink left in the bottle after she's finished opening it. Needless to say someone is always present with a bottle opener.

Chaos

That's cause they all want you drunk and easy, Mandee. :love:
When I got a PS2 I didn't have a memory card, so I was all ":eek:" Cause I couldn't play FFX, and it was christmas time, and there was a national memory card fammine so I had to wait like a week to play. But I had Vice City borrowed so I got to run around killing http://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/lovesmile.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/lovesmile.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/lovesmile.gifhttp://forums.eyesonff.com/images/smilies/lovesmile.gif in that for awhile.

I see a lot of my friends using a lighter to open bottles but I can't seem to get the trick down. I have a p-38 (army issue can opener ) that I can use.

Damn, i wanted to see someone kill themselves :(

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Originally Posted by Chaos

My friend has mastered the knack of opening two bottles by hooking both caps onto each other and pulling hard.
And mastered the art of table opening.

Well, I say mastered, on a good day theres half the drink left in the bottle after she's finished opening it. Needless to say someone is always present with a bottle opener.

Chaos

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That's the classiest way to open beer. ;)

Twist tops are teh kewl.

Seriously, though, when I drink beer it's usually the twist top bottles. But I guess I'm just a low class, blue collar beer drinker because I've never even heard of Stella Artois. :shame:

i cut my hand up trying to open a bottle with a lighter, but it's possible if you know what you are doing. opening it on a counter is doable but can damage the counter.

= why I don't drink.

I can do the lighter trick, but I need a flat sided lighter not rounded.

But for a Stella Artois I'd use my teeth if I had to

Use your teeth you wuss. :D

Bad for you teeth. Chips etc.

Belt buckle, guy. Works like a charm.

Any sharp-edged rigid but durable object would work rather well. I once saw a friend use the frame of his glasses. I even saw a fork used once. I hope I never get to experience or understand this 'beer desperation' that drives so many men in this era.

...
hand?

Knock the top clean off with a brick and fetch a straw.

You guys are all weird.

Grab a magazine. Wrap it around the bottlecap tightly, and pull off to one side. If you have a good grip, bam! Instant yum. Otherwise you have a ruined magazine = teh win

*sexors newbie*

We always have the correct 'tools' in our house, so there's never any need to panic.

Let this be a lesson to you, my son.

smart ass i thought this was a serious issue ;P

But to answer your question....

I dont drink so i wouldnt know....lol

A screw driver might work. Or a plier.

A screw driver might work. Or a needle-nose plier.

Using the table works for me - but the table must have a relatively straight edge - and it usually does a bit of damamge to the table.

it's for occassions such as these i keep a back up bottle of vodka, shame on you doc i thought you were a better man.

I have a friend who opens 'em with her teeth. It's scary. I had a drunken friend try to emulate that, and ended up shattering the bottle in his mouth. Sooo a couple stiches later, we bought a bottle opener.

I've got a back up bottle of Sambucca! Not the kind of thing I drink with my dinner though!

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The other end of a hammer

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Which reminds me of all the times I've opened a bottle of wine out in the shed with a screw and hammer because I didn't have a corkscrew.

Two ways I have:

1. Get a semi-thick cloth, wrap it around the bottle, and just pry the bottle cap off. It may take some doing, but it works, and you won't cut your hand.

2. While wearing a ring, hold you ring finger upward. Set the "edge" of the bottle cap on top of your ring such that you can wrap your finger over the bottle. Wrap your finger over the bottle, and quickly but forcefully pull the ring upward. Works like a charm, and makes you look cool infront of your friends.

i just have a bottle opener on my keychain... now that's being prepared.

coolest bottle opener i ever saw though was on an episode of Queer Eye, they turned every kitchen drawer handle into a bottle opener. now that's classy.

almost as classy as the High Life commercial: "A real sink has 3 faucets. One for hot, one for cold, and one for High Life."