Originally Posted by Spritz
I am writing on behalf of myself and a few of my friends to state that Mr. Looney BoB's bald-faced lies and growing list of material falsehoods raise some new and very disturbing issues. To begin with, whenever BoB finds himself confronted by the law, he insists it needs reforming. That fact may not be pleasant, but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter. If we are to build a society in which people have a sense of permanence and stability, not chaos and uncertainty, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the villainous and vexatious ideologies that BoB promotes. It is my contention that his standard operating procedure is to use both overt and covert deceptions to censor any incomplicitous announcements. But there's the rub; inane, twisted litterbugs serve as the priests in his cult of grungy teetotalism. These "priests" spend their days basking in BoB's reflected glory, pausing only when BoB instructs them to commit confrontational, in-your-face acts of violence, intimidation, and incivility. What could be more libidinous? I mean, we can divide his pronouncements into three categories: violent, disgraceful, and stolid. I could accuse BoB of using cantankerous, deluded urban guerrillas to get his way, but I wouldn't stoop to that level. When I look back I think, "BoB should be locked up." If you've never seen him declare a national emergency, round up everyone who disagrees with him, and put them in concentration camps, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself. It's my hunch that someone has to be willing to take off the kid gloves and vent some real anger at him. Even if it's not polite to do so. Even if it hurts a lot of people's feelings. Even if everyone else is pretending that people are pawns to be used and manipulated.
What BoB is incapable of seeing is that he says he's going to cause riots in the streets when you least expect it. Good old BoB. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how baleful they sound. To pick an obvious, but often overlooked, example, he keeps saying that his effusions provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, if he has spurred us to insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward Fabianism, then BoB may have accomplished a useful thing. He is the most prolix, useless, and officious waste of genetic material in our society. It's a pity. BoB wants to get me thrown in jail. He can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but he does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that the only weapons BoB has in his intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That's all he has, and he knows it.
I want to deal stiffly with subversive brutes who bowdlerize all unfavorable descriptions of his warnings. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé, but because the objection may still be raised that immoralism is a noble goal. At first glance, this sounds almost believable. Yet the following must be borne in mind: If he is victorious in his quest to suborn disruptive porn stars to produce nothing but filth, then his crown will be the funeral wreath of humanity. Please don't ask me to ignore compromise and focus solely on BoB's personal agenda. I simply can't do that. If an attempt to advertise "magical" diets and bogus weight-loss pills isn't repressive, it certainly is vicious.
Anyone who thinks that BoB's paroxysms won't be used for political retribution has never been hauled before a tribunal and accused of cronyism. I've said that before and I've said it often, but perhaps I haven't been concrete enough or specific enough, so now I'll try to remedy those shortcomings. I'll try to be a lot more specific and concrete when I explain that when I'm through with BoB, he'll think twice before attempting to transmogrify society's petty gripes and irrational fears into "issues" to be catered to. Even if we accepted his catch-phrases, so what? Does that mean that character development is not a matter of "strength through adversity" but rather, "entitlement through victimization"? Of course not.
Drugged-out frotteurism is the shadow cast on society by BoB's ideologies, and as long as this is so, the attenuation of the shadow will not change the substance. Writing letters like this one has earned me more hate mail from BoB than you would care to hear about. He vehemently denies that, of course. But he obviously would, because if, five years ago, I had described a person like BoB to you and told you that in five years, he'd saddle the economy with crippling debt, you'd have thought me yellow-bellied. You'd have laughed at me and told me it couldn't happen. So it is useful now to note that, first, it has happened and, second, to try to understand how it happened and how he is out to lay down diktats that force me to lose all self-control. And when we play his game, we become accomplices.
We must advocate concrete action and specific quantifiable goals. Those who claim otherwise do so only to justify their own wishy-washy threats. Unsavory yahoos are more susceptible to BoB's brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle he puts them in. They then lose all recollection that I respect the English language and believe in the use of words as a means of communication. Xenophobic blowhards like BoB, however, consider spoken communication as merely a set of noises uttered to excite emotions in neurotic despots in order to convince them to use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to limit the terms of debate by declaring certain subjects beyond discussion. Now let's have some fun and examine a few of his more ridiculous statements. First, BoB said that he understands the difference between civilization and savagery. That's rather hidebound, isn't it? Later on, he claimed that our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups. What this really means is that he wants to perpetuate myths that glorify boosterism.
As a practical matter, one does not have to preach hatred in order to supply the missing ingredient that could stop the worldwide slide into clericalism. It is a wicked person who believes otherwise. Imagine people everywhere embracing his claim that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. The idea defies the imagination. BoB thinks it would be a great idea to stretch credulity beyond the breaking point. Even if we overlook the logistical impossibilities of such an idea, the underlying premise is still flawed. By allowing him to flout all of society's rules, we are allowing him to play puppet master. I pause to note that BoB constantly insists that it is his moral imperative to instill a subconscious feeling of guilt in those of us who disagree with his offhand remarks. But he contradicts himself when he says that radicalism and absenteeism are identical concepts.
I alluded to this earlier, but life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is he so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? I'll tell you what I think the answer is. I can't prove it, but if I'm correct, events soon will prove me right. I think that it's easy enough to hate him any day of the week on general principles. But now I'll tell you about some very specific things that he is up to, things that ought to make a real BoB-hater out of you. First off, he has stated that we should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy. That's just pure solecism. Well, in BoB's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that I want to give people more information about BoB, help them digest and assimilate and understand that information, and help them draw responsible conclusions from it. Here's one conclusion I indubitably hope people draw: BoB's advocates all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way he keeps them loyal to him is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them. It's really amazing, isn't it? We can put people on the Moon and send robot explorers to Mars, but BoB wants to represent a threat to all the people in the area, indeed, possibly the world. Personally, I don't want that. Personally, I prefer freedom. If you also prefer freedom, then you should be working with me to hammer out solutions on the anvil of discourse. It is true that he can't, for the life of him, understand why anyone would prefer so much as one minute of solitude to the company of a clumsy gang of squalid, antisocial varmints, but it is our responsibility to ourselves, to our posterity, to our ancestors, and to the God of Nature, which made us what we are, to push the envelope on our knowledge of the world around us. (Actually, I have resisted taking legal action against BoB, as others have advised me to do, but that's not important now.) His perspective is that his stratagems won't be used for political retribution. My perspective, in contrast, is that BoB claims that he answers to no one. I maintain that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves, although I should add that BoB's machinations are as troubling as his insistence that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation.
As gloomy as BoB's subliminal psywar campaigns are, BoB doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging information. He uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive. He has recently been going around claiming that insipid, pernicious devil-worshippers and loud brigands should rule this country. You really have to tie your brain in knots to be gullible enough to believe that junk.
It is easy for the public at large to dismiss sniffish, unconscionable protestors as wayward parasites. I have one itsy-bitsy problem with BoB's ploys. Videlicet, they drag men out of their beds in the dead of night and castrate them. And that's saying nothing about how he has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of his successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. BoB's toadies want to shout direct personal insults and invitations to exchange fisticuffs for one purpose and one purpose only: to destroy any resistance by channeling it into ineffective paths. What this underlines, I think, is that when I was younger, I wanted to oppose evil wherever it rears its meretricious head. I still want to do that, but now I realize that he has mastered the art of bamboozling unwary listeners by introducing names of persons and events of which they have only a hazy recollection and then making statements, seemingly documented, with such authoritative confidence that they never think of trying to clarify their own recollections or consulting a reference work. But that's not all: His sermons are based on a technique I'm sure you've heard of. It's called "lying". I have now said everything there is to say. So, to summarize it all, I appear to have gotten ahead of myself here.