Goodbye Cruel World!

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03-13-2005, 10:36 PM
Chemical

Goodbye Cruel World!

Death is by no means a hillarious event, unless it is featured in a film by Troma. Which has prompted me to start this thread.

Just for poops and giggles.

A bit of morbid humour, if you will.

Post a fake obituary of your death. Be creative! And humerous.

Many morne the death of student, Ashley Knight. At 20 years old she had a bright and vivid future cleaning up other people's crap and becoming a slave to society's white collar job market. However, this youth's future came to a brief hault as her intestines flooded out of her anus. The product of trying to lift too many boxes at one time. She will be greatly missed by friend's and family members.
03-13-2005, 11:13 PM
Meat Puppet

Liam Donald, died age 18.
Who?
03-13-2005, 11:28 PM
Del Murder

Del murdered.
03-13-2005, 11:49 PM
DMKA

Devil Now Kicking Ass.
03-13-2005, 11:52 PM
crashNUMBERS

Quote:

Originally Posted by Del Murder

Del murdered.

How about Del raped then Del murdered.
03-13-2005, 11:53 PM
Psychotic

Quote:

Originally Posted by crash26821

How about Del raped then Del murdered.

Sounds like a plan to me! ;)
03-13-2005, 11:54 PM
Erdrick Holmes

Joel Holmes, a twenty year-old visionary had his plans for the future stopped by death. One night he went to an arcade to play a few rounds of King of Fighters 2001 when the machine ate his quarter not givingh im a credit. Out of rage he repeatedly kicked the 500 pound arcade cabinet only to have it fall over on him.
03-13-2005, 11:56 PM
crashNUMBERS

Did you use some SF specials for that matter as well?? :lol:
03-13-2005, 11:58 PM
krissy

Not at all Reno was found in a cheap motel room two nights ago, his arms tied to the bottom of a sink line and his face deep inside the sink water which was turned to hot. The authorities were notified when the body was found by the groundskeep who got complaints of water spilling into floors below. He is survived by his electronic Sony dog and an extensive collection of porn (both will be auctioned off for charity this coming Wednesday at the Millow).

http://moonglow.nu/nikkichan/cygneno.../wig_reno5.jpg
RIP
03-14-2005, 12:01 AM
Rye

Rye:
She died early because short people can't reach the vitamins on high shelves. :(
03-14-2005, 12:18 AM
crashNUMBERS

Doug A. Braga, Codenamed "Crash26821". He went to the crime investigations of continuous murders. When he got to the crime scene in the arcade room he saw a dead body. *walks over to joel* *kick-kick* Not caring at all about joel he stole some of his quarters and went to go play Capcom vs SNK 2. He joined in this investigation just to play at the arcade. A shadow apeared behind him. It was behold the void! The void asked "you like my sister??" Crash looking around runs away as the void uses his void of terror and thus a new crime investigation began with a man named, well codenamed "Crap26821" looking for the whereabouts of his lost freind...
03-14-2005, 12:36 AM
Yamaneko
03-14-2005, 12:42 AM
Shlup

Last time I did this for an assignment in 9th grade language arts my teacher felt the need to call my mother...
03-14-2005, 12:44 AM
crashNUMBERS

Not trying to be a prick but who likes mine??
03-14-2005, 12:45 AM
krissy

makes me sad you're dead :{
03-14-2005, 01:19 AM
Chemical

Reno forgot to mention that he was naked with a pickle up his rear end.

How do I know this ?

That's non of your concern.
03-14-2005, 01:20 AM
crashNUMBERS

And I thought del was the murderer. Hmmm......
03-14-2005, 01:23 AM
Dixie

Ratiasu(A.K.A Dixie)
Died from laughing.
03-14-2005, 01:33 AM
GhandiOwnsYou

L.T. siegfried, Age 18, died yesterday evening. He was saying late in the produce department at the grocery store where he worked for teh third night running. When A lady who had just seen him pull fresh cabbage from the box to put on the shelves ignorantly asked him if there was fresh cabbage in the box (stating that the cabbage on the shelf looked as if it had been there too long) he paused momentarily before demonstrating the freshness by cramming two 50 pound cases of said cabbage into the womans throat. fleeing from the building, he murdered by hurling coconuts both the store manager and most of the cashiers. he was shot and killed on a low speed razor scooter chase later that evening related to the incident.
03-14-2005, 01:33 AM
strawberryman

name:Strawberryman
Cause of death: Was shot by police while he tried to blow up the support beam for a building. The bomb shortly blew up because the cops did not have enough time to call someone to disarm it.After the explosion, the building toppled over and destroyed all of downtown St. Paul killing nearly 2,000,000 people. And setting a world record for doing so.
He shall be missed.
03-14-2005, 01:33 AM
The Captain

Yet another death in the unsolved mystery that is spontaneous combustion.

Take care all.
03-14-2005, 01:36 AM
crashNUMBERS

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ratiasu

Ratiasu(A.K.A Dixie)
Died from laughing.

You really think mine was funny :whimper: :crying: You make me feel good inside (joke)
03-14-2005, 02:32 AM
Pheesh

EE lived a full and happy life until he found out you can only be bitten by jojo so many times before you develop rabies.

Peace out and :rock:
EE
03-14-2005, 02:34 AM
crashNUMBERS

Quote:

Originally Posted by strawberryman222

Cause of death: Was shot by police while he tried to blow up the support

Wait wasn't tha--?? ........ Whoops..
03-14-2005, 04:00 AM
o_O

Face
He had no lungs.
03-14-2005, 04:11 AM
Ouch!

Ouch! died at the age of 15 after choking on the cooked peel of an apple. He had been over at his grandparents' house for dinner and for dessert he had an apple dumpling. His grandmother had neglected to peel the apples before cooking them inside the dumpling, so when Ouch! took a bite into the dumpling the whole peel came along and got stuck in his throat.

Seriously, those peels tonight were *so* disgusting.
03-14-2005, 07:55 AM
The Captain

He came, he saw, he bought the T-shirt and eventually, the farm.

Take care all.
03-14-2005, 11:53 AM
boris no no

ruth aka boris died aged 19. an untimely death.
would of thought that it was a bad idea to cover oneself in mustard and jump into a pit of hungery mongeese.
it was such a pity when the cage broke allowing the mongeese to escape carrying her not yet dead body out.
like a tidel wave they crashed into the local killer bee farm situated on the edge of the largest cliff in the world.
in a mass bundle of pain she fell off the cliff into the sea full of man eating shrimps.
eventually the sea washed her up upon the shore of a canabilistic tribe who proceed on boiling her with some tasty veggies.
apparently she tasted like chicken
*burp*
03-14-2005, 12:42 PM
Loony BoB

He came, he saw, he quit while he was ahead.
03-14-2005, 01:02 PM
Pheesh

nice one

Peace out and :rock:
EE
03-14-2005, 11:14 PM
crashNUMBERS

Quote:

Originally Posted by crash26821

Doug A. Braga, Codenamed "Crash26821". He went to the crime investigations of continuous murders. When he got to the crime scene in the arcade room he saw a dead body. *walks over to joel* *kick-kick* Not caring at all about joel he stole some of his quarters and went to go play Capcom vs SNK 2. He joined in this investigation just to play at the arcade. A shadow apeared behind him. It was behold the void! The void asked "you like my sister??" Crash looking around runs away as the void uses his void of terror and thus a new crime investigation began with a man named, well codenamed "Crap26821" looking for the whereabouts of his lost freind...

I think Im going to make this a chronicle but not no book or anything.

Doug A. Braga "clone", codenamed Crap26821 "P-type". He was actually a cyborg of Doug's friend who had no name. He went to the arcade to find out what happened to both joel and crash. He found out it was Aaron (lionx ^^) In a behold the void machine who killed him for thinking he was a girl. He had evidence of fur lying on the floor. He thinks to himself "Now that I found Crash's killer I gotta find joel's...After I play some KoF '03 that is!!" After he losses 2 rounds he finds out that joel was murdered by "strawberryman" The strawberry psycopath. He was later murdered himself by the psyco...

Well thats crap26821 prototype for ya'...