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Don't you hate those people? I don't, they just don't understand. I'll PM somebody and be like "don't be weirded out, but do you wanna talk through this?? You seem cool enough!" And all they can say is things that make you upset, they just don't get it, and they just all together ignore you!!!! It's bogus AND a mis-trial if you ask me.
And for those of you who know who you are: I'm right, your wrong, have a nice day!!! :D
Thanks, I will!
I don't get it.
You haven't explained yourself well. Do you mean people who post their problems, and don't want to accept your advice when you pm them?
No idea what you're talkin' about, LWL.
I just don't get it...
I think, in some situations, you have to be prepared for any response by another. Though you are more than likely trying to just help them, sometimes being confronted on an issue can make someone uncomfortable and cause them to lash out at you. In time, though, if you can talk things out, it will probably sort itself out as a misunderstanding or something of that nature.
Take care all.
Sometimes, the best advice is the harsh advice. It sounds like you're the one with the problem here, mostly in making yourself understood. But, if you've messed it up so well here, it's easily possible that you mis-communicate with whomever your IMing. Often, when searching for the source of the problem, one must look inward first.
Maybe violence is the answer.
I'm assuming you are one of those people...
EDIT: you = whoever posted this thread, my valuable time is not well-served memorizing your name
Very few people get it.
They've changed what it is.
this guitar sings even when you aren't playing it. see?
The world is turning.
refer to the motion part of my signature for my view on this topic. what is it exactly that people don't get.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yamaneko
I'm the person he PM'd. I very politely said I basically didnt think this was a good idea, then he proceeded to get pretty angry at this. Which I didnt appreciate me, I tried to be reasonable and then he sent me another PM implying I was crazy. Well you can imagine what I thought of that. Believe me it went on for quite awhile last night. I ended it saying I wasnt going to read any further PM's of his. I guess I should have just ignored it, so I suppose it's half my fault. LWL, why'd you have to start a thread up on this? Its not really nessesary is it?
He kinda did the same thing to me. He just randomly started talking to me and I didn't know who he was. He kinda freaked me out a little bit. I know other people that he has done that to also.
Why are you harassing my wife? Seriously. If you were upset with her or had a problem with her, you didn't have to PM her and you could have stopped right then. This thread isn't neccesary, I say. Just...i don't know...breathe, stretch shake....let it go, okay LWLQuote:
Originally Posted by amratis
I agree with my queen.
Its not that he PM'd me saying he had a problem with me, he just PM'd me and said 'be my friend'.... read my earlier post for what I replied.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dking'squeen
Yay! I'm glad I have wives to protect me, *hides behind Dking'squeen*
And you were a little freaked out? Who wouldn't be. That's kind of an odd thing to do. I still don't know why he got upset.Quote:
Originally Posted by Amratis
Of course :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Amratis
People might "get it" if you'd actually come out and say what "it" is instead of dancing around the issue.
If that's not feasable, paint a hypothetical situation that's close enough to get the insight you seek, yet far enough from the truth to preserve your privacy.
everyone is making extremely good points. There got to be another way to approach people LWL.
This is what I said to him, but he didnt get it, just started getting miffed at me and saying I was making a 'deal' out of it, and how he talked to like "20" ppl here through PM's all the time. Yah right.Quote:
Originally Posted by dking
it = the filesize limit on sigs? Ohhhh, I get it now.Quote:
Originally Posted by YukiKiro
Wait, are you guys talking about people who are "dense"?
perhaps
From what I can tell, LWL randomly PM's females on this forum asking to be his friends. Can you really blame them for being suspicious of his motives?
Yeah, LWL. Stop stalking people. I don't like being sexually harassed, but I hate it even more when someone apologizes, acts like a royal jerk, then apologizes, then does the same.
I'm NOT dense and I sure don't harass people, or make nasty threads and posts about them.
:pQuote:
Originally Posted by amratis
It is not my fault that I am mentally challenged. :mad2:
he did the same to me! my sister (kaggski) answered a few pms from him so he pmed me sayingQuote:
Originally Posted by amratis
"i talk to your sister, lets be friends"
i just didn't answer. maybe thats insensative of me but....i dunno.
maybe he's just a little lonely....
or maybe he just wants to hit on girls. i dunno.
*notices that it's only girls thats had a problem...*
Off-topic, but you have the prettiest sig ever. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Naughty Tifa
Lol, Hes joking, this thread is meant to make you think, I dont get it :p
EDIT: I think *sweatdrop*
Well how about we hear everything before we point fingers?huh? Actually, nevermind, not one person cares what I have to say.
Let's make me the bad guy, and just go on like were enemys huh? Like it will make things any better.
There you go completely ducking the subject again. Look, just what is it that you want to 'say' exactly? Come on, just say so now.
we do care what you have to say. its just that the way you say it makes it seem a bad thing.
please don't get mad!
we don't want you to go
Well, no, it won't matter what I say, but I will say a few things.
You people make it sound like i'm "telling" you to be my friend. I was asking, and not just girls.
And amratis I did not emply you as crazy,i'm sorry if you got confused, but no I don't think you are.
Same here man!! They get all upset and start saying bull crap about you and say stuff like your spelling sucks! Damn I hate those people.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone Wolf Leonhart
Lone Wolf Leonhart - Be careful. You are in the process of demonizing yourself here. You need to be level headed if you want to keep the respect you have from the EoFF community. If you can turn this into a respectable, level headed, sincere debate instead of acting like a small child people would not be so critical of you.
I think that you should consider what I said. As much as I want to see another ffbabe, you aren't cut out to be it. So please, try to be a little more mature.
(I don't mean to offend or be rude, but this is just my opinion. Sorry if you don't agree.)
Edit:What??Quote:
Same here man!! They get all upset and start saying bull crap about you and say stuff like your spelling sucks! Damn I hate those people.
sorry. it was bad of us to presume. but you can make friends and talk witin the forums. me and amra just prefer to talk this way. its not being nasty to you. its just how we like it!
So basically you're completely avoiding the question again. Why wont it matter what you say?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone Wolf Leonhart
And crash, unless you know what he's actually been saying to ppl, me included, via PM, I wouldnt be too quick to jump on his bandwagon
what she saidQuote:
Originally Posted by boris no no
True that.Quote:
Originally Posted by amratis
Sorry I just joined the topic I haven't read everything...Quote:
Originally Posted by amratis
Maybe you could post the contents of the PM's? Doing that will allow us to see what you guys are really talking about. Both sides are obviously going to have a bias, so if you posted what was said in the PM it would help us all who are in the dark.
(Of course, if there are things that were said that you would prefer us not to hear then don't post them.)
I just didn't see any problem with trying to be friendly............
And you want to know why it was mostly girls?Well, it's not because i'm hitting on you, anyone of my friends here could tell you that!!! It's because you are friendly,and guys are too stuck-up to show there "sensitive side", so I prefer talking to girls. Anybody have any problems with me doing that? Probably, but I don't care about your rude coments.
There seems to be a lot of back and forth, but I think it would be wise for all involved to take minute or two and assess the situation a bit. It seems that mistakes or at least things were said on both sides that were misunderstood, so perhaps let's try to take it slow and figure out a solution that can benefit everyone involved here.
I don't quite know what exactly is going on here, but I'd be happy to do my best to help if someone can perhaps clue me in.
Take care all.
He wanted to know my feelings on him loving me or something, and I didn't say that I was creeped out, so I really just said a random thing ("toy" to be exact) and this was his reply:
" Say hello to my ignore list! cold hearted bi.........."
Also, his first PM to me was...
"your pictures are scary"
Gee thanks, Nathie.
Same here brother. What is the problem with being friendly??Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone Wolf Leonhart
It would seem then, that this problem arises in the directness of the conversation? Asking someone right off the bat whether they might have any sort of feelings toward them can be taken in several contexts to be sure, and usually not in the way it was intended to.
In my experiences, it's fine to strike up a conversation with someone but get to know them first before you attempt to assume anything about them.
Take care all.
Right, he PM'd me, asking if we could be friends, thats it, and just started saying "Whats up" and "how are you" etc. And I dont even know him atall. I very politely said that I didnt think this would be possible, just acting friends with someone I dont even know, and he started saying "Oh I'm upset now" and things like that, saying I was making this "big deal" about everything. And he became just rather childish and half-insulting. He said, if I could give him 3 reasons why PM'ing ppl he didnt know and asking for friendship was a bad idea, he would leave me alone. I gave him 4. He DIDNT leave me alone. Just wrote back saying how he'd reply soon and that I WOULD agre with him. Sorry but I just dont like being told what to think and say, so at that point I'll admit to getting abit miffed and saying some rather nasty things back. But he completely deserved it.
I know LWL is fairly young, but does he not realize that no-one just randomly PM's ppl they dont know and ask's "Hey can I be your friend" Because it will only make ppl feel uncomfortable. But he wouldnt listen to me.
deffination of friendly?Quote:
Originally Posted by crash26821
a few girls on this site are under 15 and may feel threatened when a guy seems to show interest.
from what i can tell LWL has pmed a few people saying hi etc. some people have said no thankyou and hes got mad.Quote:
I don't quite know what exactly is going on here, but I'd be happy to do my best to help if someone can perhaps clue me in.
some of his pms may have been rude, i don't know.
LWL you really need to CALM down. same with the rest of us i suppose.
Hmm, it definitely does seem like there was a degree of comfort that was broken to start with, which could greatly enhance this problem.
Being friendly is fine, but there are certain ways to approach it. Friends are made through mutual trust, experiences and understanding, which can often take time. If you do value someone and want them to be your friend, you'll make the time and not try to rush through the process of getting to know someone.
Take care all.
AH! Captain! This is one of the points I made to him, in almost exactly the same wording too! Hang on I'll go post it.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Captain
EDIT - 3.Quote:
3. It feels like you're trying to cut out the hard work aspect of becoming friends with someone. One of things about friendship is that you EARN someone's trust and respect *gradually*, you like them and they start to like you. You like the same things, .etc. You cant just go up to someone and basically say "Hey lets skip the getting to know eachother part of a friendship that takes MONTHS, and just act like we're friends allready?" It doesnt work like that in real life and I'm sure you know this. A friendship is built up gradually through situations and conversations. You cant just skip things and say "Hey be my friend" Its like....cheating or something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by crash26821
Uh, crash? read the post before your one. That is NOT being friendly, by *anyone's* standards
Very well stated.
I take it the response to this was not one of complete acknowledgement or understanding?
In the end, I think that part of the problem is that, especially over the computer, it can seem both very hard and very easy to connect with other people. Sometimes, it seems like a person can make friends just by posting whilst others seem to always be alone or out of the loop which can be very frustrating. The important thing to keep in mind is that most of the people who post here became friends not overnight, but by doing what amratis posted, through conversation and shared experiences. Friendships over the internet tend to take a bit longer to develop because it's usually through words on a page, but if you pace yourself and really try to listen to the other person, find out who they are, what they're all about and the like, you can connect and in many cases, the friendships will endure.
Take care all.
well said captain and amra.
i think that this should be closed before anyone starts really getting mad...
............... I give up, give yourselves a big pat on the back, you win. (what you win, I don't know)Just take pride in knowing "You over exagerate things against a pathetic loser 14 year old" Wow, that must have been hard. Like I said, I give up.It's obvious people think i'm creepy, and in the case where no one has room to talk?Including myself.
NO Rye I don't like you that way, i've said it repeatedly
Well, your PMs say otherwise:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone Wolf Leonhart
LWL: I LOVE Y........................ nevermind!
Me:Yevon?
LWL: you!
do not take everything so personally.
we didn't win anything. we're just all stating that some of us do not like to be pmed and if we wanted to start a friendship we would. sorry LWL but you realy need to understand that alot of people here just want to post in the forums not get pmed all the time.
i really think a mod should close this.
we've all said that needs to be said
yeah, you-yevon, it was like a corny response and continuation to the previous, but whatever. Or was it Yu-Yevon? Yu,You, it's said the same, so NO I don't like you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rye
LWL please stop being childish. you too rye. neither of you are making it better.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone Wolf Leonhart
LWL don't pm people asking them to be friends as much. if they don't reply or say that they decline your offer then don't worry. ignore it
rye and others. if someone annoys you by pming you all the time tell a mod. they can sort it out without any trouble.
ok?
As others have said we're not trying to beat you in anything good sir, as that's far from the case.
I'm trying my best to see the entire picture here, so if there is something I'm missing feel free to clue me in. From what I've gathered it seems that there was a great misunderstanding by just about everyone involved. Whether it was your intent or not, they took what you were asking them in a different way then you wanted it do. These things happen, but if you try to clear it up, as in, explain what were you intending to do with the PM's, I think this situation can be put to rest and everyone can be the better for it.
Take care all.
Hey, sorry man, but the girls are in the right, here. You bothered them... you should probably get your definition of "friend" synchronized. Girls, correct me if I'm wrong, but the better approach would go like this:
"Hello, I'm ..... from EoFF (assuming IM), how are you?" then some small talk about posts and whatnot, share some interests... wait a while before asking for them to be new friends.
Seriously, you came across as "stalker" to more than one woman. You should consider that before getting mad at THEM. Which, FYI, is a solid part of the stalker profile. Then you try to get people to side with you... also stalker profile. My gut agrees with these girls. If I was to make a professional opinion (and had the influence that comes with that), I'd ask for more information.
I can tell you this, in most places, you have already crossed the legal lines for harassment/stalking type charges. However, I'm a psychologist, not a lawyer, and I can't make a completely certain call on that.
Boris, please stop telling people what to do. By calling people childish, you yourself are not helping the situation as they think you're trying to control them. It's better to be understanding. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by boris no no
Someone get BoB, I think we need a Kit Kat break so that this doesn't spin out of control further.
Take care all.
sorry. i know what i said was silly. i just don't want anyone to get banned for stuff they say.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
sorry for calling you childish LWL and rye.
Whatever people, I don't want any trouble, or enemys.But it seems like too much to ask, you all seem focused on what you think I am doing and what I should be doing, than what I really am doing.You all seem oh so confident that your right, and i'm the bad guy. Let me put it this way,never expect to hear from me again. I'll still be on to talk to the few people who PM me, but other than that, have a nice life. The "stalker" as you put it, has left the forum!!!!
I was trying to be friendly and start a conversation via PM, don't get me wrong, not like some hot and heavy friendship. that takes a while.I just wanted to start with simple hellos............... Once again, it's way too much to ask.
actually, no it's not. You just came off the wrong way to people. I still don't think that you should have started the thread. You kind of brought this on yourself by doing so.
There is no reason to leave the forums over this man. I think you should stay.
And once again LWL, you have COMPLETELY missed our point that you went about this in the wrong way. You say we're convinced we're right? You seem to be the one who is convinced of his own rightness. You havent listened to a single thing anyone has said here. You just keep going on about how we're victimizing you .etc. Which is simply not true.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone Wolf Leonhart
If you have to leave the forums then ok. But you're just running away, and its not *our* fault.
And yes, now I've said everything I want to say. ;)
LWL, no-one wants you to leave the forum, nobody at all. It's just that if you want to make friends, perhaps it is better to do it another way? Or alternatively, if you do choose to PM people, you can't expect them to be friendly as they did not ask for the PM. If they are unfriendly, then it's their loss, right?
I can understand that you are upset about some of the responses in this thread, but how do you think people who you have PMed felt when they read that you had posted about them? If someone made a thread about you, wouldn't you be angry?
Like I said, no-one wants you to leave EoFF (that I know of) and it would be a shame if you did, but ultimately it's down to you.
what nik *hope I can call you that* said. I think you should still stick around, even though some people may have gotten the wrong impression of you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nik0tine
doesnt bother me
Yeah look, I'm sorry if you've got upset. But I'm fairly independant minded and can get very defensive sometimes. You dont have to just LEAVE. Just , I dont know, I'm sorry. I think you should try and make friends the hard way, thats all.
You people just don't get it.