European English

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05-01-2005, 12:55 AM
Triple T

European English

I found this while searching for British words. xP~

Quote:

The European Commission has just announced an agreeement under which English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English's spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase-in plan that would be known as EuroEnglish.

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This shall klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one letter fewer.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplicated khanges are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" vith "z" and the "w" vith "v".

During the fitz yar, ze uneseary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar khanges vud of kors be aplid to ozr kombinations of leters.

After ze fitz yar, ve vil hav a realy sensibl vriten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or diflkultis and evryvun vil find it easy tu understand each ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
05-01-2005, 01:00 AM
Psychotic

I hate Europeans.
05-01-2005, 01:01 AM
Jojee

That makes a lot of sense! ^_^
05-01-2005, 01:01 AM
Raven Nox

lol, damn, they'll sound like little kids, you can understand them, but it's a pain in the ass to do so..

EDIT: Oh I forgot, it's "as" now... that'll get confusing...
05-01-2005, 01:04 AM
Jojee

No i kan understand zm veri vel ^^
05-01-2005, 01:04 AM
My name is...something..?

Jeez, they really don't need to do that.
Do they really need to make a bigger gap between Europeans and Americans??
What is this world coming to?? lol
05-01-2005, 01:05 AM
Psychotic

I still hate Europeans.
05-01-2005, 01:08 AM
Mookies

Of course it's easier to understand each other.
05-01-2005, 01:21 AM
crono_logical

Shame it's not even real :p I saw this on an English paper back at high school, so this is going back at least 6-7 years :p
05-01-2005, 02:54 AM
rubah

I remember that from like years ago.

Cool, I had been wanting to read it again.^_^
05-01-2005, 04:22 AM
Shoeberto

That was pretty good. I'm lollin'.
05-01-2005, 04:24 AM
Ko Ko

I speak British english. :skull3:
And it isn't anything like that.
05-01-2005, 04:46 AM
Azure Chrysanthemum

That was sent to us by my cousin who lives in France about four years ago. You forgot the "and zen ve vil tak ovr ze vorld!" or whatever at the end.
05-01-2005, 10:16 AM
Angel_from_hell

Quote:

I hate europeans

Thank You Soo Very Mutch!
05-01-2005, 11:49 AM
gokufusionss1

god damn europeans, its about time we attacked one of them again.
05-01-2005, 12:58 PM
Chris

I'm part European so I'd watch my tongue if I were you Psy! :mad2:
05-01-2005, 01:01 PM
Rye

All of my ethnic background is European (as American is a NATIONALITY, not an ethic background) and even I agree that that article sucks. xD I wish I could change the French language to my liking. IRREGULAR VERBS BE GONE!
05-01-2005, 01:06 PM
Shauna

lol! :D :D :D
05-01-2005, 01:54 PM
Triple T

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rye

IRREGULAR VERBS BE GONE!
05-01-2005, 02:06 PM
Clouded Sky

awww, can't wejust throw you and england in with therest of europe? please psy? pretty please?
05-01-2005, 02:45 PM
Strawberry Gashes

England rocks. <.<

Funny article. Thank goodness it isn't true. xD
05-01-2005, 02:48 PM
Loony BoB

I remember reading that years ago. Good stuff.
05-01-2005, 07:05 PM
Resha

Yaaaaay! Speling klas just got a hole lot more fun. :p
05-01-2005, 07:10 PM
Nod

funny lol!

people think that English spelling doesnt make any sense, but it does! it makes perfect sense, but then Im English so i would say that. :D
05-01-2005, 07:13 PM
Psychotic

It's hilarious how upset people are about my European comments.

http://www.eyesonff.com/map/

Click Europe. Click the UK. HEY LOOK MY NAME IS THERE. I'M A EUROPEAN TOO!

...why don't people understand ironic humour these days?
05-01-2005, 07:14 PM
Rainecloud

An emergency supply of consonants is definitely needed. :/
05-01-2005, 07:16 PM
Nod

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psychotic

It's hilarious how upset people are about my European comments.

http://www.eyesonff.com/map/

Click Europe. Click the UK. HEY LOOK MY NAME IS THERE. I'M A EUROPEAN TOO!

...why don't people understand ironic humour these days?

Ironic? thats not even a word!!!!!!!!!!!1

ENGLISH IS TEH BEST EVA OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGLOL!!!
05-01-2005, 07:20 PM
Psychotic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nod

Ironic? thats not even a word!!!!!!!!!!!1

ENGLISH IS TEH BEST EVA OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGLOL!!!

Oh, my mistake.

Correction:

...why don't people understand fleebywerblesnarfsnarfsnarf humour these days?
05-01-2005, 07:30 PM
gokufusionss1

according to that map, we have no member from the former soviet block, and they say the iron curtain has fallen.

DEATH TO EUROPE
05-01-2005, 08:58 PM
faster skating penguin

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psychotic

I hate Europeans.
05-01-2005, 09:11 PM
Old Manus

It just makes the English language sound German, Mein Kommandant!
05-02-2005, 08:21 AM
Mookies

Quote:

Originally Posted by gokufusionss1

god damn europeans, its about time we attacked one of them again.

I want to see America attack Europe.
05-02-2005, 03:27 PM
Sasquatch

Interesting map...I didn't know so many other poor souls were from Wisconsin. I feel sorry for y'all...but don't worry, I'm hear with you. (Except I'm a Bears fan. Packers suck!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mookies

Quote:

Originally Posted by gokufusionss1

god damn europeans, its about time we attacked one of them again.

I want to see America attack Europe.

I would too. I get paid good money for combat, and tax-free too. We'll go with France, backstabbing bastards, it'll only take 'em a day or two to retreat, then we can come back home.
05-02-2005, 03:34 PM
DMKA

If it's not American it's evil and wrong, ya know.

(SPOILER)Which is damn near everything but rednecks fail to realize it.
05-02-2005, 03:45 PM
Sasquatch

I'm glad you think that way DMKA, but I'd have to disagree with you. And though somebody disagrees with you to the point of being labeled a "redneck", I highly doubt any thus redneck would envy any aspect of your sense of pride. And there are a lot of non-American things that aren't "wrong".

This is the first time I've read this article...humorous as it is, it may shed some light on the theory that a one-Europe union may be more dangerous than it seems.
05-02-2005, 03:48 PM
DMKA

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sasquatch

I'm glad you think that way DMKA, but I'd have to disagree with you. And though somebody disagrees with you to the point of being labeled a "redneck", I highly doubt any thus redneck would envy any aspect of your sense of pride. And there are a lot of non-American things that aren't "wrong".

Sense of pride? WTF? o___O
05-02-2005, 05:18 PM
gokufusionss1

Quote:

Originally Posted by Old Manus

It just makes the English language sound German, Mein Kommandant!

just to be pointlessly picky, english is a german language.
05-02-2005, 10:19 PM
Denmark

I've been a proponent of removing the letter c from the alphabet for years now.
05-02-2005, 11:28 PM
omnitarian

I vish it was real. :(

Oddly enough, that's all that changes when you put the phrase "I wish it was real" through the criteria of the article. Lame. :-/
05-03-2005, 01:21 AM
nik0tine

Quote:

I wish I could change the French language to my liking. IRREGULAR VERBS BE GONE!

I would just make French identical to english. Then we would have no troulbes at all.