Things you have said to the opposite sex.

What humorous things have you said to the opposite sex that may be construed as rude? I am more interested in hearing about what you have said to people who had the hotts for you.

It was a while ago, but there was this obnoxious and loud girl who I found to be quite irritating, but man oh man, did she ever have the hotts for me. (I will never understand what it was that she found attractive about me...)

Anyways, she would call me with the intent of conversing for hours on end about virtually nothing. One night she called me and she was complaining about how she never gets to see me and that she wants to hang out. She said something along the lines of "We never hang out. I want to see you." to which I responded "Well, you've seen me before... Why don't you just conjur up a mental image?"

Your turn.

"You mean you're actually a girl?"

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Originally Posted by Meat Puppet

"You mean you're actually a girl?"

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:D

I'm not very good at coming up with witty things on the spot, so I guess the best I've done is, "I don't like you." :(

this is going to be a bit rude... :p
once when rather drunk i kinda hitch up with a hot friend of a friend. we proceeded to be....naughty in an alley way. we were unfortunatly interupted by a friend calling saying the taxi was there.....on the way to the taxi i said to him "next time i'm drunk we can try it agian!" i think he took it that i'd only do that with him if i was drunk!! :p :p :p :p
teehee

"I love you, you big a-hole"

Once a girl who is a friend of mine asked me to complement a girl that was visiting the church I went to.

!

I don't just walk up to girls I don't know and complement them!!!! Apparently her boyfriend had recently broken up with her and she needed a guy to tell her she was pretty or something. I don't quite remember what I said to her but it was one of the most delibrate and unnatural complement of my life. Later she gave me her number.

?

I'm used to digging myself an early grave.

Raine: 'You're not like all those other girls who dress up in skin-tight clothes and wear short skirts.'
CS: 'You mean I wouldn't look nice in those clothes?'
Raine: 'No! I didn't mean that, I meant that you, erm, well...'

Raine: 'I do love you, you know!'
CS: 'You mean you didn't think I knew you did?'
Raine: 'Well, erm, I, erm...'

Raine: 'I've always liked long hair.'
CS: 'You mean you don't like my short hair?'
Raine: 'Well, no! I mean, yes, of course! Well...'

Pathetic.

I only talk to deaf girls.

Ex-bf: I'm video taping the holiday (just him and the boys) you know
Me: Really? Well if you happen to tape a drunken orgy between you and your mates then you've so got to send it to me ;) I haven't had a good jerk off in ages

not surpringly he didn't talk to me for a while. I know! I'm an asshole! I didn't mean it at all it just slipped out

Me and a friend stopped by at a Denny's during our trip down to orlando. Our waitress was a stout somewhat intimidating looking woman, she looked like she was in her early to mid 30's. I was wearing a sweater with a Groundskeeper Willie Patch, appropriately enough the patch has Willie ripping off his shirt and the text around him read "GREASE ME UP WOMAN!!"

After the waitress have taken our orders she inquired what was written on my patch. With much enthusiasm I broadened my chest and looked at her while I exclaimed "GREASE ME UP WOMAN!" She merely raised an eyebrow and went about her way. My friend was clearly embarrased.

After we had finished our meal and recieved our bills, the woman brought with her a bowl of hot fudge sundae. I clearly did not order one, but she set it in front of me and winked.

Moral of the story: Groundskeeper Willie impressions can lead to free hot fudge sundae.

Omg SNOOZER that was :D:D:D:D:D hilarious!


-Will you go dance with me?
-No
-ok.

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Originally Posted by Levian

I only talk to deaf girls.

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Congratulations. You've sucessfully managed to make me fall out of my chair laughing.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rainecloud

I'm used to digging myself an early grave.

Raine: 'You're not like all those other girls who dress up in skin-tight clothes and wear short skirts.'
CS: 'You mean I wouldn't look nice in those clothes?'
Raine: 'No! I didn't mean that, I meant that you, erm, well...'

Raine: 'I do love you, you know!'
CS: 'You mean you didn't think I knew you did?'
Raine: 'Well, erm, I, erm...'

Raine: 'I've always liked long hair.'
CS: 'You mean you don't like my short hair?'
Raine: 'Well, no! I mean, yes, of course! Well...'

Pathetic.

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Oh I love doing that to my boy :p

Him: There's no one else out there like you.
Me: >=O I'm a freak!?
Him: No! It's a good thing, you're unique!
Me: Unique is just another way to say you're too weird and different!
Him: No really! I like you because you are...
Me: WEIRD!?
Him: Okay, you're like everyone else.
Me: Omg... I... don't stand out?
Him: You do stand out!!
Me: So you're saying I'm weird again!
Him: No!
Me: *sob*

"Get me a beer, woman."

John: *lifts shirt* *rubs nipple*

Her: Ah! John! What the!? *quickly gets up and moves away from John, sits next to me*

John: Yeah, I plucked my nipples today and I realy wanted to show them off...its a realy sensitive area you know.

Her: O.O?

Me: Yeah, it can hurt like hell when you pluck your wabbos too.

Her: O.o *Gets up from next to me, sits about 5 yards away from the both of us*

I regularly say things to my Girlfriend that could be considered by a outside party as very offensive. However, we do it as a joke because we both think the same thing "My God, why do you put up with me?"
I assure you. It's always done with a grin if joking.

Some examples?

Her- Why do you put up with me?
Me- Cause you're a cheap whore and a easy s**g
Her- Oh really? That's always nice to know Jack.

H-I'm going to the loo alright?
M-No it is not alright! If you leave right now I'm leaving you and I'm gonna sleep with your best friend.
H-That's exactly what I was thinking too. I'm already slept with your best friend too. Perhaps we can swap stories?

Her: "Do me!"

Me: "Why?"

"You sho' do gots a purdy mouth"

I'd say at leasy 75% of the things I say to Matt and about 50% of the things I say to my male friends are evil, but I can't think of anything right now.

To a friend who recently dyed her hair brown:

Quote:

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Oh my god you know, if you fell, why don't you just wash the mud out of your hair?

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I'm such a frickin' idiot...Myabe that's why I have no girl-friend...

Me: "Hi! what's your name?"
David: "David."
Me: "I like to eat weiners."
David: "................"
Me: "I MENT HOT DOGS! OH CRUD DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG-"
David: "You're sick." *leaves*
Me: *Smacks head*

That wasn't too long ago...I still feel stupid for saying "weiners."

"I'll always love music more than you"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Levian

I only talk to deaf girls.

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How would that effect your answer to the question? :confused:

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DMKA

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Levian

I only talk to deaf girls.

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Congratulations. You've sucessfully managed to make me fall out of my chair laughing.

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rofllam


^^^^^^it might smell like chloraform..........gimme a whiff*sniff*yep its chlora.........*plop*



you wont remember this encounter
:shoot:

"Best pick-up line ever"

Bash

I will always regret saying 'I think we are better off as friends' to a girl i liked. Lord knows why....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by shadow 13

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DMKA

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Levian

I only talk to deaf girls.

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Congratulations. You've sucessfully managed to make me fall out of my chair laughing.

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rofllam


^^^^^^it might smell like chloraform..........gimme a whiff*sniff*yep its chlora.........*plop*



you wont remember this encounter
:shoot:

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I don't get it! T_T

"I hope you enjoy growing up."

*click*

Remeber to lift the seat before you pee. :eek:

Me:I love you so much Nick!
Him:What?My name is not Nick!!
Me:That's just a small detail,baby!^_^

I SUCK.

^_^

Quote:

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Originally Posted by -N-

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Genius.

Me: "Want to go to the movies?"
her: "You mean, like, on a date?"
Me: "Well, uh . . . yeah."
her: "I'm sorry. I have a boyfriend . . . in Louisiana."

Me: "I had a crush on you when we were kids."
her: "Oh?"
Me: "I also had a crush on Destiny at one point."
her: "What!?"

Me: "That guy's such a jerk. I swear I'll beat the crap out of the next guy who says that to you."

Me: "Bowling is pretty much the only sport I'm good at."

Me: "I want you back."

girlfriend is eating shots popcicle (its baisicaly dip and dots but in popcicle form and it comes in a tube) as she is trying to get the last of them out I say "suck thoses balls" :D

ps
i got hit in the face with a cup cake shortly after but we still goin out

Friday, "Can I have your number!?" lol.

You know, my little sister can put her toes up her nose...

gross.......




you wont remember this encounter
:shoot:

One of my ex's told me she loved me and I replied "I love me too," (it was just a sex thing to be honest) and she misheard me and thought I said "I love you too," though that proved to work out more to my advantage than the former phrase.

"It doesn't go there."

my favorite quote from myself, while playing a game of baseball at school with my study hall class- this one girl wore amazingly short shorts.

"you may want to get longer shorts- I can see your thighs"...
"what'd you say?!"
"what.... its the truth..."

her- so i heard u met brandon (her new sudo boyfriend)
me- i sure did. if i were a girl id be all over that!

>>> "Mom, Im hungry.."

"you're frickin gay...quit crying...c'mon let's go"

last day of school...hahaha

"Until you gain a pair of testicles, your opinion is invalid"

SILENCE, YE SHALL NOT TOIL ON THE SABATH WOMAN!