EOFF Pope Inauguration speech

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08-10-2005, 12:48 PM
theundeadhero

EOFF Pope Inauguration speech

Hello members of EOFF! As your newly elected Pope I would like to say a few things here today. As your newly elected official I have great plans for the future Without you none of these would have been possible. Thank you for your vote of confidence.

As your Pope let me tell you what I plan to do.

I plan to uncover the mysteries of the secret staff porn forum with the help of my "Morocco Mole" Agents.

I plan to hold special holidays such as "Red Sexy Lingerea Day" and "Drop an anvil on the newbies head Day".

I plan to bring a new age to spam where subtle humor and in-jokes are encouraged instead of the horrible way things are found funny today.

I plan to settle once and for all who has a dirtier mind: ShlupQuack or Jojo.

I plan to have that filthy word "ninja", *shudder*, added to the swear filter. (Did you really expect an elected official not to have any hidden agendas?)

Perhaps my biggest challenge will be to bring to light the truth of a certain evil video game. Soon all shall be enlightened and know that FFVII never really exsisted!

Of course, I can be "persauded" to take on new challanges with the proper "motivation".

Welcome to the future!

As the Pope I may need help. Two Cardinals who can be trusted to get the job done just might need to be selected. :)
08-10-2005, 12:57 PM
faster skating penguin

haha ur catholic
08-10-2005, 01:06 PM
theundeadhero

haha, You were caught doing the nasty and they made you go skating as a punishment.

Sinner.
08-10-2005, 01:08 PM
faster skating penguin

you heartless bastard >:l
08-10-2005, 01:08 PM
The Jamie Star Scenario

Oh noes a heretic, burn him!
08-10-2005, 01:10 PM
DK

*assassinates*
08-10-2005, 01:21 PM
Primus Inter Pares

NOOOOO!!!

Ninja, Ninja, Ninja

NINJA!

And I voted for you :mad:
08-10-2005, 01:29 PM
Flying Mullet

The Pope's in Jojo's pants! :eek:
08-10-2005, 01:31 PM
DK

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flying Mullet

The Pope's in Jojo's pants! :eek:

Who isn't? :o
08-10-2005, 01:58 PM
Dreddz

Quote:

Originally Posted by theundeadhero

Perhaps my biggest challenge will be to bring to light the truth of a certain evil video game. Soon all shall be enlightened and know that FFVII never really exsisted!

How dare you....
08-10-2005, 02:02 PM
Meat Puppet

Remember how i told you I want to be your cardinal?
well I want to be your cardinal
pros: I might take a bullet for you
cons: will steal your porn
08-10-2005, 02:03 PM
Hawkeye

Hey, I still wanna be God
08-10-2005, 02:41 PM
The Jamie Star Scenario

Quote:

Originally Posted by theundeadhero

As the Pope I may need help. Two Cardinals who can be trusted to get the job done just might need to be selected. :)

Yes, well you at least need a Camerlengo.

Anyway, I am stictly against ninjas, I'm more of a samuria or pirate person myself.
08-10-2005, 02:48 PM
faster skating penguin

Pirate > Ninja > Samurai > Talking Walrus
08-10-2005, 03:58 PM
Meat Puppet

Quote:

Originally Posted by faster skating penguin

Pirate > Ninja > Samurai > Talking Walrus

It's funny 'cause it's true.
08-10-2005, 04:00 PM
Agent Proto

Good thing I voted for Flying Mullet. I want ninja to stay unfiltered. :(
08-10-2005, 04:09 PM
Flying Mullet

Just call me Martin Luther.
08-10-2005, 04:36 PM
Madonna

If you were Martin Luther, wouldn't you suddenly b-*shot by sniper*
08-10-2005, 05:22 PM
theundeadhero

Meat Puppet can be a cardinal. As Cardinal it is your job to seek out people to add to the book of HECTICS.

*Primus Inter Pares and Agent Proto added to the book of HECTICS.*
08-10-2005, 05:26 PM
-N-

:o
08-10-2005, 05:27 PM
Chris

Do you accept sexual favors?
08-10-2005, 05:34 PM
Azure Chrysanthemum

No no no, you people got it backwards.

Samurai > Ninja > Pirate.
08-10-2005, 05:35 PM
Flying Mullet

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

Do you accept sexual favors?

Yes.

Oh, you mean theundeadhero...
08-10-2005, 05:41 PM
escobert

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flying Mullet

Just call me Martin Luther.

:love: *is protestant*
08-10-2005, 05:46 PM
theundeadhero

Quote:

Do you accept sexual favors?

It depends on what needs done. That, and the condition of Jojo's pants that day.

Quote:

No no no, you people got it backwards.

Samurai > Ninja > Pirate.

I see that certain aspects of the government are against the Pope doctrine.
08-10-2005, 05:47 PM
Flying Mullet

Does this mean that Jojo has you by the balls?
08-10-2005, 05:56 PM
faster skating penguin

Quote:

Originally Posted by Behold the Void

No no no, you people got it backwards.

Samurai > Ninja > Pirate.

And exactly where does the Talking Walrus fall in your little list? :mad2:
08-10-2005, 06:10 PM
theundeadhero

The pope does not wish to take a stand on the issue of talking Walruses.
08-10-2005, 06:11 PM
Meat Puppet

Talking Walruses goes into the book of HECTICS

As with Agent Proto

oh put him in there twice just to be safe
08-10-2005, 06:14 PM
faster skating penguin

Talking Walrus HECTICS-ed? I want nothing to do with this corrupt resigm!
08-10-2005, 06:19 PM
Meat Puppet

... *downloads porn*
08-10-2005, 06:29 PM
The Jamie Star Scenario

When are the n*nja hunts going to start?
And how do we tell? Do n*njas float in water?
08-10-2005, 07:19 PM
Psychotic

Walruses, talking or otherwise > YOU.

kaythanks!
08-10-2005, 07:22 PM
Flying Mullet

http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2004/SHOWBIZ/Mo...ory.walrus.jpg
08-10-2005, 07:23 PM
Karl

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chocolate Thief Locke

If you were Martin Luther, wouldn't you suddenly b-*shot by sniper*

thats martin luther king jr, martin luther founded lutheranism
08-10-2005, 07:24 PM
Meat Puppet

That's funny, because there used to be two girls on my bus that played a similar slapping game but where the exact same sizes as those two.

edit: dammit
08-10-2005, 08:31 PM
KoShiatar

Hooray for the EOFF Pope!!!!
08-10-2005, 10:27 PM
Shoden

i'll be your right hand man of destruction and crap ah w/e

hooray

ninja ninja ninja!!!

walrus taking

i'll only support you if you wash #eoff out and say yes to spam
08-10-2005, 10:32 PM
XxSephirothxX

Can we expect you to form any sort of a stance on heretics, or is it just hectics you're worried about?
08-10-2005, 10:40 PM
Doomie

Can I be the official driver of the Popemoblie?
08-10-2005, 10:41 PM
Shoden

i can be the body guard incase someone tries to kill you i think more people would prefer me shot than you
08-11-2005, 03:00 AM
faster skating penguin

What is the pope's stance on raping children?
08-11-2005, 03:34 AM
Dignified Pauper

I hear an Angry Deity demanding that the pope call forth a crusade against those Heathans at the FFVII forum.
08-11-2005, 04:05 AM
Azure Chrysanthemum

The government's stance is that the Pope exists only by our benevolence and we have the ~~guns~~ ~~manpower~~ ~~secret porno stash~~ ~~banning fingers~~ STUFF to prove it.
08-11-2005, 07:54 AM
theundeadhero

Shoden has been added to the book of HECTICS.

Quote:

I hear an Angry Deity demanding that the pope call forth a crusade against those Heathans at the FFVII forum.

All in good time. Preparations must be made.

Quote:

When are the n*nja hunts going to start?

Once the Holy Pirate Army has been formed.

Quote:

And how do we tell? Do n*njas float in water?

We'll just have to get a duck and find out.

Walrusfolk cannot be HECTICS. They can be our friends.

Quote:

Can we expect you to form any sort of a stance on heretics, or is it just hectics you're worried about?

All the heretics can be found in the FFVII forum. No need to look.
08-11-2005, 09:28 AM
-N-

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flying Mullet

http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2004/SHOWBIZ/Mo...ory.walrus.jpg

I don't know if it's because I'm drunk or because Flying Mullet really is funny, but this made me laugh for a long time. xDDDDDDDDD
08-11-2005, 09:39 AM
Loony BoB

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hawkeye

Hey, I still wanna be God

Sean Robinson (Cid) is our God. It is written.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/naitsirk/5454.html
08-11-2005, 09:47 AM
Primus Inter Pares

Quote:

Originally Posted by theundeadhero

Meat Puppet can be a cardinal. As Cardinal it is your job to seek out people to add to the book of HECTICS.

*Primus Inter Pares and Agent Proto added to the book of HECTICS.*

This better get me more votes at the next screen name comp...
08-11-2005, 10:42 AM
theundeadhero

Flying Mullet, I expect your 500 reforms on my desk by Monday.

Quote:

Sean Robinson (Cid) is our God. It is written.

The rumors of EOFF being some kind of crazy internet cult have already begun...
08-11-2005, 11:11 AM
gokufusionss1

I'm anglican my loyality is to the queen.
08-11-2005, 11:33 AM
Shoden

EOFF is it's own seperate cyult and religion and our pope runs it under the name of almighty Cid

Sheed pwn Walruses!
08-11-2005, 01:44 PM
Flying Mullet

Quote:

Originally Posted by theundeadhero

Flying Mullet, I expect your 500 reforms on my desk by Monday.

500? Pshaw, I'll give you 95 and you'll like it. :chef:
08-11-2005, 03:14 PM
Shoden

yeah get working you Mullet eho flies
08-11-2005, 04:59 PM
Dignified Pauper

There is no time for planning! We must storm the heretics of FFVII NOW! While they devise a plan against you, glorious Pope. We must amass a force, as quickly as possible, thus invading them and burning them at the steaks!!!!!!!! May they burn in Eyes Off Final Fantasy!!!!!
08-11-2005, 05:06 PM
Shoden

1 Attachment(s)

..... we shall live on the FF7 legacy shall continue for al thats great in the name of Cid!
08-11-2005, 08:09 PM
theundeadhero

Quote:

There is no time for planning! We must storm the heretics of FFVII NOW! While they devise a plan against you, glorious Pope. We must amass a force, as quickly as possible, thus invading them and burning them at the steaks!!!!!!!! May they burn in Eyes Off Final Fantasy!!!!!

Long have they known their day was coming and they've been preparing. Their spies are everywhere. Alas, they have probably even seen this thread and told it to their ritualistic cult leaders. Be patient or we might be rushing to our doom. The day of these heretics will come soon enough. I fear that Shoden may be one of their spies trying to infiltrate our ranks. This herectic, and HECTIC, will be the first to feel our crusade!
08-11-2005, 08:34 PM
MoonsEcho

Quote:

Originally Posted by theundeadpope

Once the Holy Pirate Army has been formed.

This, I will join. How well do holy forces and undead forces really work together, though? O.o
08-11-2005, 08:38 PM
Flying Mullet

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoonsEcho

Quote:

Originally Posted by theundeadpope

Once the Holy Pirate Army has been formed.

This, I will join. How well do holy forces and undead forces really work together, though? O.o

http://dynrec.com/i1/bush_pope.jpg
08-11-2005, 08:44 PM
Hawkeye

Does the EoFF Pope offer this life to celibacy?

WTF IS WITH YOUR LOCATION

And I approve of this mass desruction campaign of the Pope Pirate Army, only if I can be 5th in command
08-11-2005, 08:50 PM
theundeadhero

Jojo's pants are a holy place.
08-11-2005, 08:51 PM
Flying Mullet

Is that why everyone prays after coming in contact with them?

Ahh, where's Jojo when you want to pick on her?
08-11-2005, 09:28 PM
Dignified Pauper

All Hail Pope The Undead Hero!!!!!!

May his reign be long and prosperous, and may he rid the Sacred Land of Jojo's Pants of those Hectic crabs!
08-11-2005, 09:50 PM
Strider

*polite applause*

EDIT:

What's your official Popemobile gonna look like?
08-11-2005, 09:52 PM
Shoden

the FF7 forums are sacred and Jojo's pants are highly holy ground though have sinned

*yay go pope undead hero go*

wait a minute
"I'M NOT A CRAB!"
08-11-2005, 10:25 PM
Odaisé Gaelach

Would you let Robert Langdon back into the Vatican City?
08-11-2005, 11:07 PM
nik0tine

Do you swear to protect the holy sanctity of marriage from those evil gays?
08-12-2005, 01:01 AM
Primus Inter Pares

*repents*

When's the next pope voted in?

*joins Holy Pirate Army*

(SPOILER)NINJA!
08-12-2005, 08:08 AM
Jojee

Hahaha, I go into chat and the first thing I'm directed to is this thread xD (I'm back!!) Hi Matt-in-my-pants, glad to see that you are pope ^_~ I think. *dies*
08-12-2005, 08:09 AM
Dignified Pauper

Popes are elected for life. Long Live the Pope!!!!
08-12-2005, 09:23 AM
theundeadhero

Quote:

What's your official Popemobile gonna look like?

http://www.strangevehicles.com/images/content/4406.jpg

or

http://www.anesi.com/john/hot3.jpg
I haven't decided yet.

Quote:

may he rid the Sacred Land of Jojo's Pants of those Hectic crabs!

I'm not a crab. I'm a whopping lobster! Check my profile.

Quote:

Hahaha, I go into chat and the first thing I'm directed to is this thread xD (I'm back!!) Hi Matt-in-my-pants, glad to see that you are pope ^_~ I think. *dies*

I sure am glad to see those ~~sexy~~ Holy pants again.
08-12-2005, 03:56 PM
Dignified Pauper

I didn't say you were, but even the holy place has Hectics.
08-12-2005, 04:03 PM
Meat Puppet

use the t-rex one (imo)
08-12-2005, 05:35 PM
The Jamie Star Scenario

I agree with Meat Puppet, t-rex. Though I think you should use the resources available to you as Pope and breed a real one that you can ride about and shiz.
08-12-2005, 05:37 PM
Shoden

the pope should have a rule in #eoff aswell
08-12-2005, 06:50 PM
Dignified Pauper

I concur. The Pope must visit #eoff. There are sinners there that need saved by the one and only Pope.
08-12-2005, 07:38 PM
SeeDRankLou

Quote:

Originally Posted by theundeadhero

Perhaps my biggest challenge will be to bring to light the truth of a certain evil video game. Soon all shall be enlightened and know that FFVII never really exsisted!

I knew there was a reason I voted for you. :love:
08-13-2005, 06:02 AM
theundeadhero

I visit #EOFF as often as I can, but it's kind of limited.

Just a reminder that anything about the Pope shouldn't really spill over into the FFVII thread. Let's leave it in general chat. I'm sure the staff would want it that way.
08-13-2005, 08:11 AM
Tidus5

Since you are making people your Cardinals and stuff, can I be your personal alter boy? Im pretty good at dropping to my kees.

You sickos, I'm talking about praying. :twak:
04-14-2022, 11:09 PM
Christmas

Goobledegookism is the true path.

I CHALLENGE YOUR POSITION! :mad2:

AND I AM KEEPING THAT T- REX CAR THING CUZ THE OTHER PIC IS NOT LOADING FOR ME!

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