What if Jesus was born in todays time? What would it be like?

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10-09-2005, 04:18 AM
Fire_Emblem776

What if Jesus was born in todays time? What would it be like?

Okay stait to the point. At church we get to do a play, with the life of Jesus from birth to death. But to get everyones attention we are gona do it in todays times. This is still in the planning stages, but what are you guys ideas. Is this a horrible thing to do? Personaly i think i have a start.

Jesus was born in a stable. So in todays time that means he was born in a really ghetto place. So i say a place like East LA, Compton, a slum, ext. And out priest says that for his death Jesus gets killed on the electric chair. And since in america uprising agains the gov is bad, this can go many ways.

What would the three wise men be, and what would they bring him? A cell phone? (Sailor moons holy grail, or moon crest wand) yes so any ideas people?

Just want to hear your opinions..

this makes religion so much more fun :love: and very entertaining...
10-09-2005, 04:27 AM
Yamaneko

Well, obviously he'd drive an SUV.
10-09-2005, 04:28 AM
Hawkeye

Wtf would be the point, he could walk on water
10-09-2005, 04:34 AM
FFGuevara

If he was born in the US he would of been murdered since his beliefs and ideals are similar to Communism.

If he was born in a third world country like Africa he would of brought hope to the people. And maybe causing a uprising.
10-09-2005, 04:35 AM
Rengori

Quote:

Originally Posted by FFGuevara

If he was born in the US he would of been murdered since his beliefs and ideals are similar to Communism.

Nah, he would have been murdered by aethiests or Jews who don't think he's holy.
10-09-2005, 04:43 AM
Fire_Emblem776

Quote:

Nah, he would have been murdered by aethiests or Jews who don't think he's holy.

oh now theirs an idea..
10-09-2005, 05:46 AM
Sasquatch

Why the electric chair? I think he'd be lynched. Beaten and lynched by a mob, in a "demonstration". Should be interesting, though, tell us more about it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by FFGuevara

If he was born in the US he would of been murdered since his beliefs and ideals are similar to Communism.

Different kind of Jesus than I've read about.
10-09-2005, 06:46 AM
Primus Inter Pares

Two words: Mental Asylum
10-09-2005, 06:49 AM
TurkSlayer

He'd be considered a communist or possibly a hippie, and would either way be considered quite insane.
10-09-2005, 08:29 AM
Samuraid

He would definitely have many people who would follow him, and many as well who would want him dead...just like the Biblical account.
10-09-2005, 08:50 AM
Tai-Ti

he would have his own theme song
and his diciples would be called his posse
10-09-2005, 09:57 AM
Rainecloud

He'd be classed as a Terrorist.
10-09-2005, 01:22 PM
The Filecreator

if you do this play, do you simulate the conditions like he is the first jesus ever?
or an reïncarnation of jesus?
because our wole world is constructed on the beliefs of christainety (dont know if i spelled it right)
and if he isnt a reïncarnation, our whole wolrd just looks different!

exempale: bush is a believer right?
so he might have never started a war against irac...

but these kind of things are to deep to think about, without wasting a day or 2...
but nice thinking about putting it in a "today cenery"
10-09-2005, 01:30 PM
Sergeant Hartman

How about there is no Jesus.
10-09-2005, 01:34 PM
Alive-Cat

He'd probably inadvertantly start a war no matter WHERE he's born, I think in today's times it would be even worse.
Anyone here seen that "Second Coming" program that was on tv? It's exactly the same idea as the play.
10-09-2005, 02:34 PM
Zeldy

No one would believe him and Chavs would beat him up :)
10-09-2005, 02:36 PM
RPJesus

Well, I never! I'm... I'm offended. All your talk of 'what if there was', and 'there is no' modern Jesus. What the hell do you think I am, butterd cheese?! God!
To tell you the straight-out-forward truth, there is a modern Jesus. In fact, a whole bunch of 'em. I work on RPGs, there are others for different genres. Getting rid of the bad stuff and moving along the good #good to you, bad to you#. On not just games. Have you ever noticed that John Fruciante has a certain christy appearence.
10-09-2005, 02:40 PM
Psychotic

Two words: LOL Jesus.
10-09-2005, 02:41 PM
Rye

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psychotic

Two words: LOL Jesus.

Summed up what I thought perfectly. xD
10-09-2005, 02:49 PM
Old Manus

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/prod...?productid=494

But seriously, if he would be in the UK he would be sent to prison immediately because his views are racist (he's promoting christianity and the PC brigade CANNOT HAVE THAT).
10-09-2005, 02:59 PM
ThroneofDravaris

He would probably be killed by the Catholic Church, for Blasphemy.
10-09-2005, 05:40 PM
AmericanDeficiancyDenial

Jesus is born 1954
1968 jesus is a teen hippie
1977 starts listening to disco
1983 jesus wins beauty pagent for men
1990 metal is out so jesus goes and buys a flannel shirt and listens to grunge
1994 Kurt Cobaine dies so jesus becomes a corporate worker
1996 jesus' old friends are pissed when they find out he works for the "man"
1997 jesus' buddies kill him on a giant cross
1998 he comes back and beats the crap outta them
2004 jesus finds out about the passion and punches Gibson in the head

P.S. qoute He would probably be killed by the Catholic Church, for Blasphemy. quote There wouldn't be a Catholic Church without him duh.
10-09-2005, 06:11 PM
Traitorfish

You're all missing something- Jesus did return, in the 19th century. Well, Christ returned, though not as Jesus. His name was Wovoka, and he was a native American of the Paiute tribe. He started a religion known as 'Ghost dance', which was essentially Amercian tribal religion with ceratian Christian elements, e.g. they recognised the 'Great Sky Father' (although, this was not unique to Ghost Dancers- other tribes also adopted ceratin elements of Christianity). He proclaimed that the Great Sky Father was angry at the white men for destroying nature, and would destroy them or force them to flee back to Europe
The religion spread across the American mid-west, eventually reaching the Teton Sioux (the group of tribes including Red Cloud and Crazy Horse's Oglala and Sitting Bull's Hunkpapa). The religion was adopted by many of the tribes. The US government, who saw this as rebbellion, ordered it to be stooped. This lead to the massacre at Wounded Knee, were US soldiers murdered almost 300 hundred inncoent Sioux, mostly women and children.
So, basically, if Jesus came back, fascists would take him down. Because, he was, essentially, a communist. Not a Marxist, of course, but his veiws pretty neatly fall into the category of socialism, as much as the Christian church has attempted to distort them to appear the opposite.
I don't actually believe that Wovoka was really the Messiah, or even that Jesus was, but Wovoka did, and that's more important. (I actually think that Jesus didn't believe himself to literrally be God's son, but used that as a metaphor- he simply believed himself to be a messenger or prophet).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sasquatch

Quote:

Originally Posted by FFGuevara

If he was born in the US he would of been murdered since his beliefs and ideals are similar to Communism.

Different kind of Jesus than I've read about.

Well, from what I've heard, you have a very special version of the Bible.
Have you actually read the New Testament, by any chance? I mean actually read the ideas, not just read the words. (WTF?, you say). If you actually read a lot of what Jesus said, it's pretty lefty- it's all about the rich giving money to the poor, charity, equal rights, democracy- he's definitely a socialist, liberal or anarchist (in the sense of those who believe in the destruction of all centralist power, not punks with anarchy t-shirts).
10-09-2005, 06:56 PM
bipper

Um, we are not talking of the second comming, but if Jesus was born today, right?

I am sure he would stress capitalism, and responsabilities of people to follow moral paths. Live to Gods law, then to your countries law. Pretty much the same premeise he would preach the first time around.

He would prolly be born around belthahem still, as the origional prophesies in the old testiment apply. All in all, it would be interesting, but I suggest you read some of the Old Testemets prophesies of the Christ Child and make more phesable play. Instead of basing his arival off his last stay, base it off the accounts of the profits.

And having a marlyn manson sig automatically deisqualifies you of being jesus :) kthx ;) just playing

Bipper
10-09-2005, 07:49 PM
Hawkeye

quo vadis captain chandler?
10-09-2005, 07:55 PM
TurkSlayer

Quote:

Originally Posted by Traitorfish

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sasquatch

Quote:

Originally Posted by FFGuevara

If he was born in the US he would of been murdered since his beliefs and ideals are similar to Communism.

Different kind of Jesus than I've read about.

Well, from what I've heard, you have a very special version of the Bible.
Have you actually read the New Testament, by any chance? I mean actually read the ideas, not just read the words. (WTF?, you say). If you actually read a lot of what Jesus said, it's pretty lefty- it's all about the rich giving money to the poor, charity, equal rights, democracy- he's definitely a socialist, liberal or anarchist (in the sense of those who believe in the destruction of all centralist power, not punks with anarchy t-shirts).

I just call him a hippie without the drugs. If he was born today, however, he'd just be an average hippie.
10-09-2005, 09:38 PM
The Jamie Star Scenario

He'd probably put the original Holy Grail on ebay. Oh and start selling Jesus toast.
10-09-2005, 09:40 PM
Laugh at face of Danger

Give him an ipod, a cell phone and a moped.

settled

and he should so sell the holy grail on ebay
10-09-2005, 09:52 PM
Destai

One way or another Im sure hed end up dead again.
10-09-2005, 11:18 PM
rubah

He would be friends with the emo.
10-09-2005, 11:55 PM
Dr Unne

He would be a hobo in a small city in the middle of nowhere. He would hang out with prostitutes, drug addicts, mentally ill people, and people with contagious and nasty diseases. He would preach things that most people find highly offensive, and rant about the end of the world coming any day now. He would be thrown into jail (local jail, not federal or anything) for attempting to stir up trouble, and probably die there. No one would notice except his friends. In a couple hundred years everyone would think he was god.
10-09-2005, 11:59 PM
Yamaneko

Of course things turned out MUCH differently than that.
10-10-2005, 12:22 AM
GooeyToast

If he were alive today he would be hanging in my dining room
10-10-2005, 12:25 AM
Lord Xehanort

He'd wear stupid wigger clothes, rub his crotch and wear tons of bling. Oh, and he'd be smoking that Miracle Grass...
10-10-2005, 12:39 AM
Craig

He'd start a Christian rock band, only to get a big break and become mainstream, he'd sucumb to the life of a modern day rockstar and become addicted to sex drugs and everything unpure. This would lead to the splitting of his band, he'd reform his values and get a hold on his life, eventually the band would come back together to play the greatest gig in history. Things would be good for a while until his old habits came back, the band would eventually split for a second time vowing never to form again.

His wife would leave him, and he'd threaten to commit suicide but his best friend, and former band member would help him through it, he'd get back on track, and land a role in a few movies and marry Winona Ryder, the leading lady in one of his movies. They'd live happily ever after.
10-10-2005, 01:00 AM
Fire_Emblem776

this is so fun. Now who whould be the three wise men?
how should he die, how should he grow up as, what enimies whould he have,

i dont think the bible ever mentions the holy grail.....

amd the holy grail was what he used at the last supper right??

so where would the last supper be, and who would be the disiples,

oh this is so much fun.

cause when we are done with all the planing, we get ot go to a few cities in our area and peform it. if their are any members in the area of sanbernardino, rialto,rancho, west covina, colton , thats were we get to perform this crazy thing.

thanks for the input so far everyone.

i wonder what the priest will think so far....
10-10-2005, 01:32 AM
Roogle

You have to remember that there are other parts of the world, too. A part of the world with much inner conflict and discongruity will likely be the birthplace of the Heavenly Messiah!
10-10-2005, 03:52 AM
Cuchulainn

Can't wait to see that bread/fish thing with my own eyes and he'd be president of Ireland with that whole water/wine job.

Naturally I'd be the Second Joseph.
10-11-2005, 10:55 PM
Fire_Emblem776

were not gona go to hell for this are we??
10-11-2005, 11:00 PM
Rengori

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craig

He'd start a ~~Christian~~ Jewish rock band
10-12-2005, 12:06 AM
nik0tine

Woody Guthrie said it best in his song "Jesus Christ".

Quote:

Originally Posted by Woody Guthrie

Jesus Christ was a man that traveled through this land;
A carpenter, true and brave;
Said to the rich, "Give your goods to the poor",
So they laid Jesus Christ in His grave.

Jesus was a man, a carpenter by hand;
Carpenter true and brave;
And a dirty little coward called Judas Iscariot
Laid Jesus Christ in His grave.

The people of the land took Jesus by the hand,
They followed Him far and wide;
"I come not to bring you peace, but a sword",
So they killed Jesus Christ on the sly.

He went to the sick, he went to the poor;
And he went to the hungry and the lame;
Said that the poor would one day win this world,
And so they laid Jesus Christ in His grave.

They nailed Him there to die on a cross in the sky,
In the lightning, the thunder and the rain.
Judas Iscariot committed suicide
When they laid poor Jesus Christ in his grave.

One day Jesus stopped at a rich man's door.
"What must I do to be saved?"
"You must take all your goods and give it to the poor",
And so they laid Jesus Christ in His grave.

They nailed Him there to die on a cross in the sky,
In the lightning, the thunder and the rain.
Judas Iscariot committed suicide
When they laid poor Jesus Christ in his grave.

When the love of the poor shall one day turn to hate,
When the patience of the workers gives away;
"Would be better for you rich if you never had been born",
So they laid Jesus Christ in His grave.

This song was written in New York City,
Of rich man, preachers, and slaves;
Yes, if Jesus was to preach like He preached in Galillee [sic],
They would lay Jesus Christ in His grave.