Things FF8 Characters Would Never Say...
Okay, this should be fun!!!:D All you have to do is put down something that any FF8 character would never say. Pretty self explanatory... All right, I'll start:
Kiros: Wow, Laguna, man I just wanted to tell you that you're the most intelligent guy I have ever known. Your superb directional skills always get Ward and I where we need to be. And your charm with the ladies is unsurpassed. You..you're my hero!!!
I think you get the gist of it...:D
The Characters Doing Things They'd never do
Rinoa comes about prancing -
Rinoa: Lal La Lal La La! Squall Squall is gonna date me! - hey, wait a second, where is everyone! (teary-eyed) Squall must have left me for someone else! WAHAWAHAHA (runs away crying)
Somewhere else -
Zell: So are you sure this gonna work?
Mysterious Lady: Ofcourse, Ofcourse - take one every day
Zell: Geez, thanks Ultimacia - these pills will really stop my indigestion, man you are the best sorceress till the ends of time! (chirpy voice) Now I must stop eating year-old hotdogs
Ultimacia: (aside) Yeah what the heck I'll barbeque all of them later, hehehehehehe! Yeah - Then it'll all be me and the whole world, good, then I can take a vacation.
Zell: Yo Ulti-baby you ok?
Ultimacia: wh-what - oh yeah, yeah, just dandy as candy - hey Zell are you sure you don't want 'em other pills.
Zell: Nah, I won't need The Birth control, I'm happy being gay, Right Squall?
Squall: Oh yes (kisses Zell) I'm so happy I left Rinoa for the fine bod of yours - I mean Rinoa is so not hot for me, I mean she thought Seifer liked her, girl, Seifer wanna do me.
Seifer: (from the side) Squall my love, How can you eat chicken after you had beef stake meaning moi, of all the tragedies OHHAHWAHHAHHA (sniffs) Sorry but my romantic dream was actually to hit it off with Squall that's why I became the dog for that idiot Edea - more exposure time with Squall! All that work ruined ruined!
Rajin: Don't cry Seify (hugging) No, no, Baby, (grinning) you still have me all day long, all night too ya know.
Fujin: HORMONAL DRIVE REACHING CRITICAL LEVEL - MUST GO TO THE BALAMB HOTEL WITH SEIFER AND RAJIN - INITIATE FLIRTING RITUAL...
Rajin: (To Seifer) Dude, I'm so happy that I brought FUJIN model XX2, it's got sassy taste!
(The three Leave)
Rinoa: (Looking at Zell And Squall) No! How can this be?
Cid:Don't worry I know we can work something out (grinning) I'm staying in room # - Ah
Edea: (pulling the ear of Cid) Now, Now, Love, come home with me.
Cid: I don't wanna, besides is it ok for you sleep with Squall, Seifer, Rajin, Nida, Zell, Sephiroth - don't know who he is, Tidus -another unknown, Shuyin -uh who is that guy, Irvine, etcetera and me to have no fun!
Edea: Cid! Now be a good boy or else I'll lock you up in Norg's Room! You don't wanna be with black sheep do you now (looks evilly)
Cid: Ok Ok I go, anything but Norge, have mercy!
(They Leave)
Rinoa: Alright two can play this game (devising a plan)
Meanwhile -
Irvine: Ultimacia did I tell you that I knew it was you possessing Edea so like I didn't shoot you.
Selphie: No, you didn't know!
Ultimacia:No, I'm afraid I didn't
Selphie: No! Hello! He didn't!
Irvine: How's about you and me pimp my ride back at the dormitory.
Ultimacia: (thinking) Will it involve destroying things?
Irvine:Oh Yeah baby (grinning) we can destroy alotta things.
Ultimacia: Sure, I'm in.
Selphie: HEY! HELLO! I'm TAlking to you! Wait what about my future!
Ultimacia: Sorry Babe, Ultimacia's Fortune telling hour is closed for an hour.
Irvine: Hey one hour (thinks, then whispers to Ultimacia)
Ultimacia: Oh, Ok, well make that two.
(Leaves)
Selphie: No, No, No! OH no Irvine How could you! WAHAHAHAHAHA!
Rinoa: Selphie Have no Fear Rinoa is Here!
Selphie: Rinnny-din-din Irvy-kin-kin left Selphie-Welphy to paye with Ulti-wulty!
Rinoa: Yes Now we will create a new faction for resistence Timber Man Mojo Stealing Search For Truth Faction
Selphie: Does it have to have Timber on it?
Rinoa: Girl, It my Slogan.
Selphie: Ummm...Ok
At The Dormitory -
Irvine: Criky! I lost my Mojo!
Ultimacia: Sorry Irvy-Irvy but I must tell you something
Irvine: (eyes widening) No, No, It can't be!
Ultimacia: Yes it is
With Squall And Irvine -
Zell: (To Squall) Dear, have you heard of that new Man hating faction? (embracing Squall) Do you reall think we are safe?
Squall: (Hugging Zell back) Don't worry Honey, these woman only go for guys who dump women.
Zell: (smiling) Yeah and we only date pretty boys like Cloud!
Selphie: Wanna bet?
Ultimacia: Yeah, how about a 100 - No wait how about Adel actually being a cross-dresser! Hmm, no can't say that Elleone will kill me for saying that about her boy-girlfriend...
Squall: What the - Selphie, Where's Irivine?
Ultimacia: I tied him up to a tree and the chocobos are eating him.
Zell: Oh the horror
Rinoa: Yeah it sure is.
Ultimacia: Yes, And I am your Rinoa
Selphie: Cool Star Wars
Squall/Zell: No! How can you this be! This is no fair! Tell us the secret!
Rinoa: Like whatever...I'm not gonna tell you guys, fanboys love me cause they think I'm a two in one deal ain't no way I'm sharing the magic
Squall: MEANIE!
Rinoa: WHATEVER!
Selphie: Holy Dynamical Dialogue switching Rinoa!
Ultimacia: Now we kill - we kill -we kill - we kill
Rinoa: We kill - We kill - we kill
Selphie: We kill - we kill - we kill-
Quitis: We kill - we kill - we kill
Selphie: Hey When did you get here?
Quitis: You think I didn't wanna kill Squall after his betrayal
Selphie: I thought you said you loved him as a friend.
Quitis: Well I lied
Selphie: Oh well the more the merrier
Squall/Zell: No, No!
To Edea And Cid -
Edea: I love fireworks
Cid: Especially if they are burninng the young teenage boys as fuel
Edea: Yeah less competition for you
Cid: Yeah, you can't run off with any of them
Edea: Yeah, I wish Norg was here.
With Elleone And Adel -
Elleone: I love the fireworks!
Adel: But you are more beautiful.
Elleone: Oh Addy (kisses Adel)
Adel: (aside) Good thing she doesn't know I'm a man, a bisexual one too.
Squall and Zell have been reduced to ashes (Poor Things) -
Rinoa: And From The top people let's sing our victory song!
Rinoa/Ultimacia/Selphie/Quitis: We now become lesbiens
Cause men will hate us and we hate 'em too!
They stink truly bad
But we will make it through
We turn our enemies to tiny pieces
Cause they betrayed us so BOO-HOO!
We will play only with each other
Be one big happy Lesbien Family!
Oh that's right ya hear!
Oh Yeah girl we takin' this all the way
Oh Yes!
Tidus: Oh man I got transported to the wrong universe
Tifa: You and me both brother.
Squall(Ghost): Tidus is so hot
Zell(Ghost): Hey!
Squall(Ghost): What?!
Zell(Ghost): You are liking a guy who can't even navigate through the Final Fantasy universes correctly!
Squall(Ghost) : And I bet you can? (overly sarcastic)
Zell(Ghost): (crying) First I die for those man hating Lesbiens! Now my boyfriend likes some other blonde dude! I mean hello! (pointing to his hair) this ain't plastic! It's 100% Zell all the way baby! But...but, you love the other dude!
Squall(Ghost): (embraces Zell) There, there, Zelly-baby - ain't nothin' gonna bring us down, right Irvine?
Irvine(Ghost): Dude, Ultimacia is fine! I mean Rinoa matures fine! Though it'll be like a 100 year evolution thing... But Ultimacia...she...she...killed me in a way -(sniff sniff) I might become bi after this ordeal
Squall(Ghost): Ok, you do that. Dude you look so messed up seriously
Irvine(Ghost): Dude! I may be looking ok now but Chocobos are eating my body like it breadcrumbs!
Squall(Ghost): Let's go Zell! Irvy you coming?
Irvine(Ghost): No
Squall/Zell(Ghost): Bye Irvine!
Mysterious Man(Ghost): You look sad, don't worry kiss me and I'll turn into your prince!
Irvine: Ok, I'm so bored and miserable I'll smoke the weed the Fayth grows in the Farplanes
(Kisses)
Mysterious Man(Ghost): I'm Sephiroth! Your prince!
Irvine(ghost): (hypnotized) WOW so pretty!
Sephiroth(Ghost): (grabs Irvine) Come here Irvy-baby we in for a long night
Tidus: How come I don't see you around (checking Tifa out)
Tifa: Well you could say I float on Cloud # 9 (checking Tidus out)
In Nooj's Room -
Nooj: Hey the door's locked - Hey someone help me! - Get me outta here - Edea you -
{The end to the whole thing)
Another Story to which Characters of FF-VIII will never participate in
Squall in a contemplative mood -
Squall: This will be the result.
Rinoa: (running) Squall protect me! Protect me! Irvinne is trying to introduce me to his little friend!
Squall: I thought Selphie saw that last night when we three got together- what!? Really!?
Rinoa: Yes, (sobbing) he was grinning at me too!
Squall: Well slap him, (smiling) he will start crying as a little boy! He'll so "Oh no my little friend is dead! NO!"
Rinoa: But...(quietly) Can't you do that?
Squall: May I ask why? Girls are great at slapping hence the B term
Rinoa: But...I can't...
Squall: Hey Irvinne is a jerk so get that red on his face baby!
Rinoa: No...I can't...well...you are supposed to save me!
Squall: Get your lazy ass out there and slap him!
Rinoa: No, I'm fragile I'm a DID remember! I fill that slot out...quite well
Squall: A DID?
Rinoa: Damsel In Distress
Squall: (blinks) Rinoa aren't you like a sorceress thingie?
Rinoa: Oh c'mon! I need protection!
Squall: Not now Rinoa I'm busy
Rinoa: Doing what! (angrily)
Squall: Planning on something.
Rinoa: Fine! I'll go and ask Seifer - hey wait a minute! What the hell were you doing with Irvinne and Selphie!
Squall: (grinning naughtily) Let's just we were counting our luck stars
Rinoa: You - you-
(She leaves)
Meanwhile -
Seifer: Alright I'll hurt him Rinoa - only
Rinoa: Only
Seifer: (grinning) If you see my little friend
Rinoa: So where is he? What's his name
Seifer: Well...uh...uh...the name...Annie!Yeah Annie! (thinking) ANNIE! I JUST CALLED MY -
Rinoa: So your friend is a girl (hugs Seifer) Oh Seifer I thought you were dirty as Irvinne I thought you meant that!
Seifer: I did - uh - oh yeah right - so come along let's meet Annie
Rinoa: Where is she?
Seifer: In my bedroom
Rinoa: Ok
To Squall in a grand laboratory -
Doctor Odine: Yes, this is difficult, but for you Squall I will do it.
Squall: Please doc - I really wanna have it
Doctor Odine: Alright boy, I see your seriousness - Ok First tear some strands of your hair and eat them -(Squall does it) - Now, circle around and bark like a dog -(Squall does that too) - Now, lick your -
Squall: Doctor I won't! What's the point in all this!?
Doctor Odine: Ok, but tear your shirt and scream "I love Seifer Almasy and I will sleep with anyone for ten bucks!"- (Squall does it) -Yes, very interesting (records Squall's behaviour) interesting how you act as a slave to my commands when they have nuthing related to your desire
(SLAM! -explanatory in itself)
Squall: Hey you stupid git tell me how to get my dream ok (grabbing his colour)
Doctor Odine: Ok, ok, eat this
Squall: What's this?
Doctor Odine: Sorceress's Urine
Squall: Why you -(about to throw the bottle)
Doctor Odine: No, its just a concoction
Squall: Of what!?
Doctor Odine: uh - well, uh, my laundry and Sorceress's Urine
Squall: Yuck!
Doctor Odine: I'm joking! It's only cough syrup Ok, drink this, it's the tears of Bahamut
Squall: Ok
(Drinks and starts transforming)
Squall: Oh my! I finally transformed!
Doctor Odine: Yes it worked!
Squall: Now give me those clothes
Doctor Odine: But they're- they're
Squall: Whose!? Doesn't matter - give 'em
Doctor Odine: Ok (unsure) here
Squall: Good now I'm off
(he leaves)
Edea: (comes out naked) Odine aren't we gonna - hey where are my clothes!?
Doctor Odine: Yes - Yes - we are come on now!
Quitis: (hiding underneath a table) Dammit! When's my turn!?
Inside the Dormitory -
Selphie: I'm bored
Zell: I'm hungry
Irvinne: I wanna do it
(All look at eachother)
Irvinne: Well it kinda translates to the same solution
(They go to Selphie's room)
Inside Cid's Room -
Cid: I wonder where Edea went oh well, Elleone! We can do it now!
Elleone: Alright, give me your hand and I tell your fortune
Cid: Yeah!
Elleone: I see a very attractive brunette in your love life tonight
Cid: Edea! Really! Finally after a long time -
Elleone: (clears her throat) Ummm, Hello, (points at her hair)
Cid: (after some minutes) Ohhhhh, Ok can we continue (smiles)
With Rajin, Fujin And Nida -
Rajin: So yeah that's how I ate a Chocobo alive
Nida: Eww Dude I still can't believe it
Fujin: THEORY HAS BEEN FORMED!
Nida: What theory?
FUJIN: GALBADIAN SOLDIERS LAY CHOCOBO EGGS SO THEY WEAR ARMOUR TO COVER THEIR EYES FOR SHAME!
Nida/Rajin: (blinking) What?
Fujin: Sorry, I think I ate the hotdog that Zell spit on
Nida: Hey, whose that woman? She's hot!
Rajin: Really attractive!
Fujin: BISEXUAL FORMAT NOW IN ACTIVE MODE!
In Seifer's room -
Rinoa: Geez Seifer sleeping with you was ok but whatever happened to Annie?
Seifer: Uh, she didn't want to have a second visit (grinning secretly) she is already happy with the first (thinking) ANNIE! ANNIE!
Rinoa: oh, that's too bad I hope we become friends
Seifer: (grinning) Don't worry you will
Rinoa: Well, I'm off, Bye Seifer
(She leaves and Seifer goes to that secret area)
Seifer: I need a cig
Mysterious Woman: Here
Seifer: Hey thanks - Wow, you're hot!I mean really beautiful!
Mysterious Woman: Well thank-you
Seifer: You know you look very familiar
Mysterious Woman: Do I?
Seifer: Yeah, your yellow eyes - silver hair - I know this will sound crazy but you remind me of a guy named Squall I don't know why you guys don't look alike but you look alot like Rinoa to be honest.
Mysterious Woman: Well that's because I am Squall.
Seifer: What the-! Squall! - hey you are!
Squall/Ultimacia: That's right baby! I am Ultimacia!
{Thus a new therory for Ultimacia! LOL!:D }