How I Discovered Life On Earth
So yeah, it was a warm saturday and I was wandering the deserts of Nairobi, being called something totally different at the time. It was the height of the cold war and the particles involved were highly charged with anger, it did seem like something was missing, a war with no deaths may sound ideal but where is the fun in that?
It was then that I decided that for there to be death there must be life, so I vent on my journey to discover life on earth. I had arrived at a McDonalds restaurant whereupon I went to the counter and asked for service, I was greeted by a greasy teenager asking me who the hell I was and why I was naked. At this point I decided I needed to refine my search to "search for intelligent life of earth". I walked outside the McDonalds and proceeded on a direct course for New London being recently established at the time.
Here I was greeted by a burly italian looking bloke claiming to be called "Claudius" I don't think he was discomforted by a lack of clothes, but I was surprised when i got his number and an invitation to come with him to the amphitheater for what he described as "hot roman amor". The meaning of this was lost to me. Anyway, I entered the city gates and was suprised to see a large amounts of slaves for sale, mainly of Celtic origin, I was tempted to set up a pub to sell Guiness to the slaves in exchange for their labour but it had already been done so I moved further west. Three weeks later I had landed in France.
I took the hospitality of a seemingly well bred woman called "Marie" there wasn't much in the way of coke, but the cake was certainly good. There seemed to be some ruckus brewing so I quickly left Marie's abode. This is where my memory gets slightly hazy, however I do remember waking up in Kiev singing "It's Hard To Be A Rock And Roller", but that's beside the point. My search to find life on earth and a ending resolution to the cold war continued, at this point I met an old member of the politibureau who was angry at the appointment of a younger leader to the communist system, then he asked me where my clothes where, I decided to ignore the man and return back to the starting point of my journey.
Back in the deserts of Nairobi I saw a little flower rising out of the sand dunes, it spoke to me and that's when I knew, that I had discovered life on earth.
