Cool Z's Vin Diesel Facts
These interesting and informative facts are accreditted to my good friend and fellow idiot, Cool Z (creator of the fantabulous Halo 2 Guide, Cool Z's Halo 2 Guide)
Vin Diesel is an anagram of "I end lives"
Vin Diesel was once refused a meal because his lunch ticket was
expired. Rumors are, Atlantis sunk the same day.
As a child Vin Diesel was left for the afternoon with a pile of lego
bricks and some open ground. That area is now known as The Great Wall
of China and is visible from space.
Vin Diesel invented cancer because he was tired of killing off people
one by one.
At The Battle of Thermopylae, hundreds of thousands of Persians were
held back by 299 Spartans and Vin Diesel. The Spartans were quickly
defeated when Vin Diesel grew bored and left to find something shiny.
Vin Diesel was born and fathered by himself.
Vin Diesel is bald because even his hair is afraid of him.
Vin Diesel tried out for the part of Frodo in the Lord of the Rings
movie but was told he was too tall for the part. So he tried out for
another part and got the part of the Balrog of Moria.
Vin Diesel is the only person in history to successfully cancel his
AOL subscription on the first call.
Vin diesel collects his skin as dust and sells it to Nasa to coat the
space shuttle exteriors.
Vin Diesel beat God in an arm wrestling contest for all the souls of
mankind.
Vin Diesel went back in time to save JFK from being shot, and he
caught all three bullets with his teeth. JFK's head exploded out of
sheer amazement.
Vin Diesel's chest hair is used as a kevlar substitute in police vests.
Contrary to popular belief, Vin Diesel was actually in charge of the
Manhattan project. When a test bomb went off and destroyed every bit
of refined nuclear material collected until that point, Vin Diesel got
so angry he swam to Hiroshima and killed 80,000 people.
Vin Diesel has been known to sellotape C4 to Tortoises and use them as
a cheap alternative to hand grenades.
Diesel is, in fact, the real son of God. He didn't need the extra
attention, so he found a drugged out hippie named Jesus to take his
place. Thousands of years later, Vin found out about Jesus'
crucifixion. He simply laughed.
Vin Diesel taught Jesus how to take it like a man.
Vin Diesel grows magic mushrooms in his backyard which, when eaten,
cause the consumer to swell dramatically in size and strength. Vin's
mushrooms were used as the inspiration for the Mario series of video
games. Vin cannot use them himself, however, since getting any
stronger would cause the universe to shatter.
Vin Diesel eats coal, [img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]s diamonds, and then sells the diamonds to
buy more coal.
Give Vin Diesel a fish, and feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish,
and the marine life of the Earth's oceans will be destroyed within the
week.
Vin Diesel cannot say a false statement. If he does, the universe
changes around him until his statement is true. This may sound
ridiculous, but ask your grandparents about when rocks used to float
and there were the United States of Soapy Water.
Vin Diesel is the only person in History to be born fully clothed.
