The insensitivity of all of you sickens me.

A message from the Editor of the Inactive EoFF Post!

With all these things about Christmas related threads, I felt that I needed to defend those who are not Christian and instead celebrate Holi-day. (hoe-lee-day). Even if you start saying Channakuh, or Qwanza, or whatever other bogus holiday there is, I will be enraged, so rest assured, there's no pleasing this morally offended civilian.

First off, you Christmas mongerers whore yourselves out to the conglomorates and harp about others saying Happy Holidays. Then, with jamming Christmas down our throats, you cram Saint Nicholas, Mary, Jesus, and Joseph down our throats. The jews cram down Moses and Abraham. Qwanza crams down God only knows what, and well, the other holidays don't matter enough for this reporter to mention.

Well, instead of saying Happy Holidays, I've decided to just create Holi-Day on December 25th. Now, watch as me and my followers cram things at you because you cram it at us. And you harp that Happy Holidays is bad, well so do I, now. I say that they should say "Have a Happy Holi-day!" They will tell tales of the Holi-day Bear who traversed the great arctic in search for trout and other fish. We will cram down the Holi-day Tree decorated with tinsel and lights. We will cram down the fact that the Holi-day Bear comes and brings presents to all the good little boys and girls and eats the others. We will cram down the legends of the ancient times when Holi-day Bear was born in a bale of hey in an igloo around Eskimos. We will denounce the idea that Christianity started America's great premise and instead, we will forge legitimate documents to make the world think America was founded on the Holi-day Premise. We will support the term Happy Holidays because it so closely resembles our own holiday. We will lynch all those who go against us, or excommunicate them, whichever becomes more legal. We will take away morals since those who are not Christian have no morals or standards. We will promote abortion, gay rights, and peace. We will not tolerate war. We will promote freedom of thought, outspoken ideas, and new texts that question what we have believes for so long.

Join the Happy Holi-day (hoe-lee-day) organization and swim among the glory your peers. Denounce Christmas, embrace Happy Holidays and Happy Holi-day and reclaim the rightful spot for America as the beakon of persecution as the Holi-day bear begins eating bad little boys and girls tonight. REJOICE!

I'm Marick D. Pauper with another incredulous story for you. You Stay Classy, Eyes on FF.

I can shoot a bear.

I can shoot a baby in a manger AND a slow jolly fat man.

Thank you, Marick...this is the funniest thing I've heard all month...:D

1) Since the Ascension, Jesus is immortal. So shoot him all you want, but he'll just come back~

2) Santa has bullet proof skin. I know this because he and I are on good terms. Sup, RSL?

Jesus died after being impaled by a spear whilst being crucified. Not to mention he was humiliated. I doubt he shows his face on Earth ever again after an embarrassing defeat like that.



As far as Santa being able to block bullets, it still doesn't stop the fact that he's a fat old man who likes little children. Plus, I'm sure I can just shave off his beard of power whilst he sleeps and then make him vulnerable to the constricting power of the depends so often soils.


Holi-day Bear bridged the gap between Polar Bears and Eskimos and united the two in a symbiotic relationship. He also brings presents to good children and eats bad children. Eating bad children is WAY cooler than giving them coal or telling them to confess their sins and be accepted into heaven. No, Holi-day Bear sends his people to the secret Paradice at the South Pole. It's tropical!

You will surely be struck down with a carrot, or possibly Eeyore.

Santa != Sampson xD

Just go back to Festivus.

*lynched*

what the hell is the EoFF post?

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Originally Posted by rubah

Just go back to Festivus.

*lynched*

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We must wrestle. Festivus isn't over until you pin me!

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Originally Posted by Hsu

We must wrestle. Festivus isn't over until you pin me!

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You're on, Hsuuall.

I'm offended by your blatant disrespect for Holi-day and the other Holidays.

Holi-day bear is gonna eat you come this Holi-day. He's gonna eat you like he does a seal or a walrus. And you'll be helpless. So helpless that not even a stupid baby in a manger could grant you salvation from its mauls. In fact, that baby is so jealous by the cool factor of Holi-day Bear, he's gonna point and laugh and send and deny his own existence and make the world realize Holi-day is the real day we should celebrate and that Christmas is a sham.

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Originally Posted by Dignified Pauper

I'm offended by your blatant disrespect for Holi-day and the other Holidays.

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You kidding me? We don't even get off for Festivus. We're contemplating going on strike again.

http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/1828/7222567l4ca.gif

I just want to point out that Christmas is just another Christianized holiday from the pagan/heathen religions. It was originaly celebrated as the coming of the sun, not the son. It is supposed to be Winter Solstice, when the sun starts doing whatever it does to make the days longer again.

You forcing your atheist beliefs on me by saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas offends me. Yeah, that works both ways. Why don't people just stop talking so we don't offend anybody!

This will be as big as the EoFF Post, I'm sure

if i wasn't so christian i doubt i would still find that funny or amusing or insightful in any way


but i dunno, maybe i would

I already mentioned Festivous in the other thread :mad2:

Christmika = <3<3

I hope the Holi-day Bear eats all of you because you're on his naughty list.

Too much cramming things down people's throats.

Once I got to the tree imagery it was just too phallic.

What do you mean, I never mentioned anything regarding a phallus anywhere in my post. Freud would say you have deeply suppressed urges.

Happi Holi-day season!

Freud would say YOU have deeply suppressed urges.

[q]Channakuh, or Qwanza, or whatever other bogus holiday there is[/q]

bogus since they're spelled incorrectly obviously

I have no idea what this thread is about because I did not read past the first paragraph of the first post. I celebrate Christmas because it is a holiday for the federal government of the United States of America, and I get off of school then and at least a week afterwards. So bitch all you want, but I'm still exchanging gifts on December 25th and calling it Christmas. :}

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Originally Posted by Dignified Pauper

I hope the Holi-day Bear eats all of you because you're on his naughty list.

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I help make that naughty list http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y179/Reaha/naughty.gif

You know, I have the strangest feeling that I've heard this before.

Well it DOES happen every year y'know.

ok ill pretend the above statement made sence.^ as posted by nik0tine
(hey thats funny i made a comic once where the vilians name was Dr. Nick O'teen)



Anyways we all know that they are not called ESKIMOS, but acctually INUIT, so please get the facts right, Calling the Inuit ESKIMO is almost like calling a white guy whitie. or a chinese guy chinky.


its not right at all.

So in that case you offend me sir.

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Originally Posted by Hawkeye

http://img390.imageshack.us/img390/1828/7222567l4ca.gif

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XD LMFAO!!!XD

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ok ill pretend the above statement made sence.^ as posted by nik0tine
(hey thats funny i made a comic once where the vilians name was Dr. Nick O'teen)

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Trust me, it made plenty of sense.

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Anyways we all know that they are not called ESKIMOS, but acctually INUIT, so please get the facts right, Calling the Inuit ESKIMO is almost like calling a white guy whitie. or a chinese guy chinky.

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Oh my... I am so calling the chinese "chinky" from here on out. :p

This thread is relevant to my interests.

o_o December 25th, you say? Darn, I can't join in the festivities! I am truly sorry. December 25th is Christmas! I again apologize for not being able to join the festivities. But, even so...

Happy holi-day!

HAPPY CHRUANZAKUH!

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Originally Posted by FutureEmperor

Anyways we all know that they are not called ESKIMOS, but acctually INUIT, so please get the facts right, Calling the Inuit ESKIMO is almost like calling a white guy whitie. or a chinese guy chinky.

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Cough*political*Cough*correctness*Cough*bull[img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]*Cough
Im sorry, I have a cold.

I am against all that political correctness.I can call an 'african american' black, or a 'native american' indian if I want. It doesn't really change anything. Maybe just save a few hurt feelings.

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Originally Posted by nik0tine

You know, I have the strangest feeling that I've heard this before.

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Ansem has never made a post like this, plus I don't identify with that homosexual. I am of my own breed. Happy Holi-day season. May the Holi-day Bear smite the wicked.

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Originally Posted by IBCrayZ

I am against all that political correctness.I can call an 'african american' black, or a 'native american' indian if I want. It doesn't really change anything. Maybe just save a few hurt feelings.

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Ummm you realize why people say Native American right? Colombus thought he was India that is why Native Americans or Aboriginals were called for some time "Indians". So really that was a misnomer, and saying Native American or Aboriginals is not only politcally correct, but shows an understanding of proper usages of words.

Thank you tSoL for that bit of interest that NONE of us knew about. Honestly, if you'd lighten up a bit and be less of a overly PC whore, you'd have a better time a life and just be able to laugh at superbly funny jokes. Now if you don't excuse me, I have a new post to think up. Later.

EDIT: It seems you were the one who needs to lighten up. He was just making a simple correction, and there was no reason to get snippy at him. Don't insult members for any reason, or you will not be able to post here. -Murder

The sad part is I did not find it funny, therefore it is kinda hard to laugh at. Sorry for the honest mistake, I was just glancing through and commenting on what someone said. Now excuse me for saying something people knew. Maybe you should take your own advice and lighten up a bit when someone fails to see humour in something.

Just don't be offended by a simple joke. If I talked about roasting the jews in the holocaust, I could see people being mad, but I make jokes like that around other jews and they laugh. You have no reason to be offended.

I wasn't offended by it; I just merely did not see the humour in it.

I bet the Holi-day bear is gonna eat you.