You learn something new everyday. *WARNING* - SHIRTLESS BoB INSIDE
So there I was eating chocolates right? And the chocolate wrappers are sitting on the duvét which my keyboard is also sitting upon, and I go to type and woah! A wrapper had clung to my fingers! Now, that was a tricky situation, I tell you - typing with a wrapper stuck to your fingers is no easy task. Of course, suddenly it managed to shimmy its way up my fingers to my palm, which was a lot easier. I figured I'd take a picture, because hey, I'm static! That's as good a reason as any, right? Right (Unfortunately I accidentally saved over the original image so this one is just an example of what it looked like, taken at the end of all the others - slack, I know, but a couple of years in therapy and you'll get over it).
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static1.jpg
But then another one stuck itself to my other hand. Now, this got me thinking, it did. I mentioned that I didn't know where to put the next one, so a few people in the chatroom kindly suggested my forehead. Now, they clearly know their stuff as they were very fast to respond. Their wisdeom undeniable, I promptly obeyed.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static2.jpg
I had a few more chocolate wrappers still around me. I decided to test out other areas of my body (I bet you thought something dirty when you read that. What is it with you people? Always with the dodgy thoughts. Tsk tsk). Now, I wasn't taking more screenshots at this point as it was terribly difficult to do so while covering myself with wrappers. But you probably knew that, it's fairly common knowledge. Luckily for me, Tasura was around to help me out. He started taking a few screenshots too. Cheers, mate!
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/BoB1.jpg
Around this point they started accumulating on my wrists as I moved to pick them up. That made my life a lot easier. It's amazing how close together they can get. I don't know much about static electricity or energy or whatever, I'll admit, but I did expect them to not really overlap each other like they did and still manage to hang around. But those chocolate wrappers are impressive little things.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/BoB2.jpg
Running out of places to put them, one flipped off my hand and floated down to my chest... and stuck there instead. Dude, it was totally hugging me! Chocolate Thief Locke? Bah! Chocolate Wrapper Love, baby! That's what all the cool kids are doing these days. It tickled a little but it stuck. This caused a giant light bulb to appear above my head. Actually, the light bulb was already there. I don't mind the one in my bedroom much as I've never broken my hand while changing it. We're cool.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/BoB3.jpg
The light bulb was actually a metaphorical one (well, there really was one there, but... oh, you get the idea), and it was basically me suggesting that I got an idea. If I kept eating these chocolates, then I will get more wrappers. If I have more wrappers, then I can keep this up. This was a mission and I chose to accept it. Cheeks, forehead and chest soon became my primary targets as my hands rapidly began opening chocolate wrappers.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/BoB4.jpg
Today I learned that it's terribly difficult to keep a chocolate wrapper statically clining to one's cheek while one is simultaneously eating chocolate. But don't worry guys, it may have floated down to my feet but I still had more chocolates.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/BoB5.jpg
I got one onto the cheek again but the one from the other cheek fell down. Don't worry, I said to myself. I can do this. I think.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/BoB6.jpg
It was around this point that I tried to lean down to get the one at my feet and most of them spontaneously fell off. I freaked. Had I lost my static? Did my chocolate wrappers no longer desire to infest my pores with whatever chococontents they still had left on them? Did they die?! Oh God. Frantically, I decided to take action. Alright, webcam adjusted, Irfanview auto-capture enabled, chocolate wrappers at the ready. We're going for gold this time, people. This time it's serious.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static3.jpg
I decided this time to be go with tactics. Chest first - they should stay there longer as I move my chest far less than my hands, arms and face. The lack of movement outweighed the fact that my hands seemed to attract them the most, and either way, I needed my hands for picking them up, and it's hard to pick up one in your hand when there's already one there.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static4.jpg
Evenly spacing them out was the original idea - as I said before, I really didn't think that they would work too close together, despite the spectacle with my wrist in my original run. These things seemed to sit anywhere, anyway.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static5.jpg
Okay, so they didn't stick to my shoulder for very long. That doesn't matter. Slap one on the forehead, that place is safe from the chewing problem, so it's all good. Keep it together, BoB. You can do this.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static6.jpg
The right side of my chest was beginning to be a problem. I decided to go again with the shoulders. I was running out of chocolate wrappes around this point. But that's okay - I had a lot of chocolates. I knew that so long as I could still reach and unwrap chocolates, I would be fine.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static7.jpg
It's around this time that Tasura re-began taking snapshots. *tries to figure out the order they should go on* BoB8 comes after static12... so.. uh... BoB7 must go somewhere between now and static12, I guess... man, this is seriously hard. BoB8 definitely goes after static12 though. Okay, I think I've got it. BoB7 goes between static11 and static8. Okay, so Tasura didn't start taking them again just yet. Er, back to the pics.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static8.jpg
So nothing really happened in the 10 seconds between the last two shots aside from one of them falling off.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static9.jpg
Apparently, my glasses are also static. You should have seen it in the middle of my original run and this run, there was one that was sitting in my line of vision, it was pretty awesome. Oh, and after a double check, BoB7 is not in fact after static12, it's actually a replica of static9 (the one above this) so I've just decided to leave it out. Dupes aren't cool. So yeah, all the remaining ones I have covered in staticx.jpg ones so thanks Tasura for the earlier stuff, but I have these covered. <3
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static10.jpg
I, for one, was not phased by the inconvenience of the postit shifting down to my nose. I trusted it. I knew it would stick. You may also note that I had returned to placing them on my upper arms. This, people, is a sign of true progress. This means they're sticking and I'm needing more room. In the static business, we call this progress. Take notes. The one on top of my left breast was starting to slide. Keep them sticking, people. Don't slack off.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static11.jpg
It was sometime around here that the one on my lower chest / upper stomach disappeared. I have to admit - I was a bit worried. Was there any specific thing I could do to gain static energy? Was it me or was it the wrappers - or possibly mutual? I composed myself. This is no time to lose faith. It's around this point that I'd use a phrase involving the word 'resolve'. I think that's the word important people use when they're referring to sticking to their plans, no matter how crap their plans might be. Not that my plan was crap, the word just came to mind and I couldn't think of a good way to put it into a sentence.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static12.jpg
Okay, I'd eaten enough chocolate for a while, I had to start concentrating on body coverage. They were falling off my chest and that's just not cool. I really enjoyed them there - the hug thing, you know? It was like they were breaking up with me. I couldn't be a player and just keep going for more, I had to keep in mind that, as the saying goes, you don't know what you got 'til it's gone - and these guys were indeed going. I had to change. So I get back to fixing up my chest again.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static13.jpg
Hey, I wonder if I can put one in front of my mou-
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static14.jpg
-okay, so no, my breath makes them shoo. But looky that! 10 seconds and three of 'em on me! Efficiency - I think that's a record, really. To put three wrappers on yourself while not losing any existing ones... I have to say, I was proud of myself. Check out my proud smile! That's the face of a man who is doing something very fulfilling. That's the smile of a guy who is having a good night. That's satisfaction.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static16.jpg
I lost static15.jpg accidentally. So this is actually 20 seconds later. Nothing major happening, but you can tell from my girly arm-posture that I'm really struggling to move without losing these suckers on my arms.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static17.jpg
But I'm still managing. Running out of room. It's around this time that I'm thinking it might have been better to get them closer together after all. Oh well, too late now. One nipple covered, too.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static18.jpg
Two nipples covered. This now qualifies for putting on the front of Christmas cards. You have my full permission to do this, and send it to all your relatives letting them know that there's some dude in Scotland who is covered in chocolate wrappers that wants THEM to have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Seriously, do it. I'll love you forever.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static19.jpg
Having run out of wrappers once more (some had landed on the floor, and I wasn't going to risk leaning over to pick them up). Breaking out more chocolates. Also, running out of room. I had to make a decision, and I had to make it fast. Arms or forehead. Arms or forehead. Okay, from experience picked up over the past ten or so minutes, arms don't hold much static compared to the ultra-easy forehead, so I'll give them a go.
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static20.jpg
I attempt to get another on my forehead. It was difficult, with my floppy hair getting in the way a lot. This wasn't proving to be an easy task. I was also disturbing a lot of them with my movement...
http://www.aiyon.com/keke/static/static21.jpg
Today, I learned that having a dozen or so chocolate wrappers flutter down your skin is extremely tickly. What did you learn today?
That'll go straight to your ass!
