Oh Grow Up Already

If my life were a videogame or a book these last few months, it'd definitely be a Coming of Age story.

Somehow, I've managed to find myself on a quest to learn why suddenly I've started thinking these frighteningly adult thoughts, why people want to give me frighteningly adult duties, and why I feel frighteningly ill prepared for being a frightening adult.

So I've got a question.

For you older EoFFers, did you have a defining moment where you thought 'Oh Smurf it. I'm an adult!:ooo'? Tell about those circumstances, plz.

For the younger, do you expect to encounter anything of the like? If you do, do you feel ready for it?

(my apologies for lameness;) I was going through the entries on my LJ tagged 'thoughts' and remembered a post where this started back in september)

Yeah, I was about eight.

Goddamn I miss the childhood I never had, I'm deliberately trying to grow DOWN again and be immature, because I hate having to be responsible, sensible and mature ALL the time.

P.S. I'm hovering at a constant 50/50 level of maturity right now, bah.

this sounds emo to me.



I think my junior year of highschool, once I got a car, I became an adult in my house.

Edit: I would probably share a similar look with Lindy, I hate responsibilities now.

Sadly, I feel the need to take on responsibilities and lead groups because everyone else around me is an incompetant fool who can't tell their arse from their elbow.

True story.

i'm never going to be an adult like ever.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lindy

Yeah, I was about eight.

Goddamn I miss the childhood I never had, I'm deliberately trying to grow DOWN again and be immature, because I hate having to be responsible, sensible and mature ALL the time.

P.S. I'm hovering at a constant 50/50 level of maturity right now, bah.

---

Sums me up exactly. I was too mature when I was little. Way too mature.

I was a really childish...child when I was younger, so I try and compensate for that by being too mature now. Maybe. A test told me I was 21, so I guess it isn't that bad.

I really should accept being an adult (I'm 19 in a few weeks) but I really don't wanna! I did have a very scary defining moment though, it was around the time my grandad had a stroke.

It's up there in my list of fears. My parents make things too easy, I think. The real world is going to hit me hard, and I know it. I'm just trying to prepare myself for the shock.

I hadn't a "defining" moment; where I crossed into adulthood is kind of blurred. I only noticed after the fact and did not consider the when or why of any import.

Relax. You're gonna feel 18 for probably about 7 years maybe. But the time you're half way through your 20's it might start to sink in. But it's mostly a gradual thing. You'll feel the same when you turn 18 as you did when you were 17. Except for immature people, they'll still have some growing (mentally? emotionally?) for a couple years. I was a social misfit in highschool. So I did all my social growing at about 19. And I had a lot of catching up to do. I ended up turning really emo for a year or so. But it didn't take me long to mature past most of my peers >_> Now I'm quite mellow, and mature enough to be immature on purpose (unlike some people who that's just who they are). And that was a gradual thing as well. Having bills, a steady job, a stable mind. Eventually you can just say yeah, smurf it, I'm adult. But you have to decide that for yourself. My sister's 27 years old. Living at home with a part-time job, and still has to be woke up in the morning by mom, 'cause she's so lazy and irresponsible.

Yes.

Growing up just isn't worth it anymore.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Old Manus

Yes.

---

Damn it, you got in before me :( Beware, Old Manus sucks ideas out of your head and uses them brilliantly.

I am afraid to grow up. Because then I can't act like a child. Which I like doing, but I still don't do now. So maybe growing up wouldn't be so bad. :greenie:

You're not really an adult until you start supporting yourself entirely.

I've found it to be a slow transition, and as Yams said I wouldn't think it complete yet. Next year when I am on my own (more or less) at University it will require more progression into adulthood, and then eventually I'll have to get a real job and support myself, thus signifying that the transition is complete. So really I suppose next year will prove to be one of the first major defining moments.

Yeah When I got out of school I sort of went off and tried to be on my own.

apparently i've always been pretty mature (yes its true :P)
but yeah, i think i've never really had a moment. Maybe when my parents split up was when i thought, oh poopiehead i had better get my act together

IM gonna be going 12 on to 7 forever. Im nvr gonna grow up. Its boring sometimes.

It was probably the first time I came home from college and seeing all the little high school kids doing all the stuff I used to do.

I do enjoy sitting in a rocking chair on my porch and yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

I'm almost 18, and I don't feel like an adult, and I don't particularly want to. But I do have a job, so I guess that's one thing. It's coming, whether I like it or not, so I guess I'll just have to figure out how to handle it when the time comes.

I'm 21, and I think when I realized that I had to "grow up" was when I was put in charge of three kids for a whole summer.

but I still don't like the idea of being an adult. sometimes I just want to be 5 again, without a care in the world

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Yamaneko

You're not really an adult until you start supporting yourself entirely.

---

I agree.

You could say I'm adult in the sense that I know what it takes to pay bills (I pay for my cell, the cable, and am still paying off credit card debt.), but my mom and sister fit the bill for about 60% of the things I enjoy living here.

Anyway...

Yes, I get that way even though I'm attending college. So I do some immature things just to keep my sanity, like get drunk, and numb myself up with video games.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Yamaneko

You're not really an adult until you start supporting yourself entirely.

---

Exactly. And I think I'm just about ready to start doing that.

I'm almost 17, which means it's only about a year away till I turn 18. I'm as scared as anything about it. I think it'll I'll finally thing 'I'm an adult now and have to move out of home' when I finish school. I'm scared as anything now, knowing I have to get a job really soon. Since I had to grow up really fast when I was younger - I feel I've only gotten such a short period of time to make up for all childhood I lost. Maybe that makes it more scary.

These age scares mean nothing. When I turned 13...I reamained the same guy, same as when I turned 16. The problem is, we mature no matter how hard we try not to. Some things we used to do years ago, just seem dumb now. What I'm trying to say is, turning a certain age means nothing. I know pleanty of 21 year old assholes who are about as mature as a four year old. The only thing (other than Yams point) that determains true growth in one self...is how we learn to deal with situations. The more we grow, the more we learn. This knowledge is our growth...bills...marriage...sex...kids...its all coming to us. How we handle it, is our test.

It is a scary realization when you notice that anyone in public under the age of 20 annoys you greatly. And when you no longer call your parents twice a month to borrow money.
The biggest realization comes when you really do something grown up like get married or have kids. At that point, its scary not only for being new territory, but the fact becomes that its not just about you anymore. You now have other people that you are responsible for and count on you. You can't screw up now because you have other people who now need you and blowing it will ruin their lives as well.
That is when you really become an adult.

EDIT: Yams is right. If your parents still pay your bills and going home is where they live, you may officially be an adult, but not really.... :)

>>> Being an adult sounds too complicated, I guess Im not one of them..

Right now your at the point where you start to realize grown up things, but honestly you could probably say more things are uncertain than you confidently understand. Between now and 23 you'll gradually notice you suddenly seem more grown up in phases, then then probably beyond but I can't say cause I'm not there yet. You'll start to really feel like an adult once you gain the confidence that it doesn't matter that things are uncertain, just work towards them and it will turn out okay. As you get older things will just suddenly make sense that you were so confused about before due to personal experience and more time spent thinking about whatever it is.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by black orb

>>> Being an adult sounds too complicated, I guess Im not one of them..

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Levian

i'm never going to be an adult like ever.

---

Have fun in the Army!

When I moved off onto my own in college I sort of realized I had responsibilities to tend too and highschool fun was over.

Quote:

---

Have fun in the Army!

---

Who says you have to act grown up in the Army? ;)

Not really apart from when I thrown all my action figures away:cry:

I started to grow up too fast since i was 7 years old my mum had cancer and so did my gran it was as if i just realized i was alive and think for myself

i don't feel like i ever had a childhood. I was always expected to act like a "mini-adult" of sorts...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Primus Inter Pares

Have fun in the Army!

---

ty

I have a bit of both in me.
In some situations I can appear responsable but when Im with friends I go crazy~
But I s'pose Ive always been 'mature' I was a quick learner as a Child

But sometimes Im just not in the mood to be hyper, Im going through that now. Im not sad or anything of that sort, I just.. can't be bothered?

I'm gonna miss you, LevLev. :(

What the hell are you trying to say?? I don't get you. Frightening adult thoughts and duties?? Wtf...

Umm, I think I always had frightening thoughts since I was young, about dying and all, and that is part of adult hood. I think things too early...

That's not specifically a sign of maturity or adulthood. More idle curiosity than anything. I thought about death a lot when I was a kid. It wasn't really a big deal

We all gonna miss you Levian :cry:

I said Lev Lev >=(

Wow, I thought someone was actually going to tell some of the members to grow up. Oh well, I'll wait for the day. ;)

While I was preparing to graduate and my family started having less and less money, so I had to face my responsabilities about that issue.
When I realized 18 year olds look so much younger and cuter to me.
And when I realized I found punks annoying.

It's a slower transition than you think. I suggest you embrace the process, because you don't have a choice. Once you embrace this inevitability, that will be the turning point you seek, and you will be less concerned with this process and you'll enjoy it more.

Drinking helps.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kyono

I'm gonna miss you, LevLev Levie. :(

---

:(

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Neel With A Hat

It's a slower transition than you think. I suggest you embrace the process, because you don't have a choice. Once you embrace this inevitability, that will be the turning point you seek, and you will be less concerned with this process and you'll enjoy it more.

Drinking helps.

---

neel, it doesn't bother me very much, it's just that I'm starting to notice that it goes on xD

no drinkz plz yet.

I sure as hell miss being a kid. So whenever it is appropriate or possible, I act kiddy. It brings the two sides together, the mature and the um....not so mature? Heh :)

my bodie has grown but my mind has not

Ive always been grown up. I wanted to grow up and live alone as soon as possible. I acheived my goal at fifteen. I hated childhood, I felt it was a total waste of time for me. And I hate it when people's personalitys change, and they become dull as they get older, and their opinions change. They say its because they've matured now, "well once you get older and you've got a lot of responsibilities......" what a load of rubbish, there is a difference between being mature, and being a boring sod. And then we have the nonconformists who turn conformist, and its "as you get older your opinions change" I will never become conformist, I would shoot myself before I allowed that to happen. I have responsibilities, but im never going to become dull and boring because of it. Your personality can remain intact, whilst still being mature. Im mature, but ill never be dull.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by theundeadhero

Who says you have to act grown up in the Army? ;)

---

No one!

I agree that you aren't a real adult until you can support yourself. However, being an adult is the end of the coming of age, not the start of it.

I'd say no person has really started their 'coming of age' until they get a job and keep it, and start saving up for things outside material things, be it travel or insurance or a flat or university or whatever. I always thought I was growing up and maturing - and I was - before then. But in retrospect, getting a job on my own and taking on that kind of responsibility was most certainly the start of my real coming of age. I was making my life decisions and saving up my own money for them, I was being given responsibility at both home and work, I was taking control of my life and really doing something with myself after all those years of preparation for such things.

I just act a kid the whole time:)