EOFF RPG Giveaway contest Part II (Win FFII for the SNES)

I'm going to clear a few things up that were confused in the last one first.

You can make more than one entry.

You can enter the contest if you don't won't to win as long as you mention that it's only for fun.

Since Super Delete won the first one he can't win any other, but he may still enter for fun.

Over the next few weeks I will be hosting a series of contests here at EOFF. They last a week. The winner will be chosen by me on Friday night and revealed the next Saturday morning. This is a four part contest with prizes for each part. The prizes for each one will be:

1: A copy of FFI for the NES.
2: A copy of FFII for the SNES.
3: A copy of FFIII for the SNES.
4: A copy of Crono Trigger for the SNES.

Each contest will be harder than the last because the games just get cooler as the contest goes on. Any member can enter any contest as often as they like, but you may only win one of the contests. A previous winner can enter the next contests just for the fun of it if they like. I am the sole judge of this contest and all winners will be required to PM me their address so that I can mail the games to them.

The contests are:

1: Provide a caption for the picture I provide.
2: Write a paragraph or so describing the event in the picture.
3: Tell a story involving the pictures I provide.
4: Tell a story and provide your own pictures. They can be real pictures that you scanned, pictures taken off the internet, things you've drawn in paint, or whatever. You just have to provide at least four pictures illustrating your story. If you plan to win this contest I recommend starting now.

Entries will be judged in humor, originality, and how well they go along with the pictures.

Okay, for the second contest you should write a paragraph about the picture below. My paragraph example has been provided.


http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/phone.jpg


Fred had been on a boat for days. When the floods came it was all he could do to make it out in time. Now there was water every which way he looked. Nothing could have surprised him more than when he found a phone. "Finally," he thought, "now I can call for help." With a quick search of his pockets he found a quarter and leapt in joy, almost falling out of the boat. He dropped it down the slot and began to dial. You can only imagine his dismay when the operator said they couldn't complete his call at this time.

John and James were sat on the beach one day comparing their mobile phones. The transmitter for their phone company was centred on the middle of their little island. "My phone can get a signal even when I'm on the beach" boasted John. "That's nothing" said James "My phone can get a signal when I'm half way past the bay". As they were talking Jim walked past which his MUCH older mobile phone, and claimed he could go right into the middle of the sea and still get a signal. Scoffing at the idea, John told Jim to go out to sea and call him when he got there. So Jim went out on his boat. About an hour past before John's ringtone went off. Sure enough it was Jim. "Hi John, I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is the phone does work. The bad news is this is a collect call".

Baloki's entry

Noah, whos ark had recently been clamped by the city council for being illigally anchored in a Pirate only zone had taken to the high seas in an attempt to find the Council Offices to pay the fine before his boat was taken to the yard, crushed and turned into a Cube. However he had gotten lost downtown and had to borrow a quater off a passing Double Hulling Salesman.

"Your call has been connected, please hold while we transfer you to an advisor", the voice said, and so the holding music went on for 40 days and 40 nights.

Jeremiah: I have invented something never-before-seen in Africa!

Jeremiah shows the invention to the Company director Official.

CDO: How does it work?

Jeremiah: You see we can now go fishing and sailing to other places with a phone right next to us!

CDO: It's amazing. How did you do it Jeremiah?

Jeremiah: I was sailing in the city waterway and then I went under a tunnel and suddenly this thing came crashing down and landed in my boat! It was a big big phone booth. That is when it hit me. I have invented something!

CDO: I must that this is a very good invention. What would you like to call it?

Jeremiah: "The Mobile-Phone."

This week on Lost: The castaways find a mysterious phone out in the water. It rings every hour on the hour, and when they pick it up all they hear is 'Do you have five minutes to take a quick survey?' When they answer no the phone hangs up. When they answer yes the voice only asks them one question. That question...will be revealed in about 7 episodes. Meanwhile, multiple flashbacks reveal how phones ruined Jack's life. Also, this will connect him to the African guy's past in some way.

UNIVERSAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Beware the effects of Dihydrogen monoxide!


Dihydrogen monoxide is colourless, odourless, and kills millions of people a year just by the mere inhalation of this chemical. Consequences of prolonged exposure to Dihydrogen monoxide are sweating, urination, nausea, vomiting and possibly DEATH.

Dihydrogen monoxide aka hydroxl acid is the main component of acid rain, electrical failures, global warming and may cause severe burns. Traces of this substances can be found in lungs and tumors, with fatal consequences.

Contamination has reached it's limit! Traces of this substance have been found in every ocean stream and river worldwide. And despite it's obvious danger, this item is used as coolant in nuclear plants, pesticides, and traces of it can often be found in soft-drinks and junk food. Industries are often dumping their excess Dihydrogen monoxide in lakes and rivers, and the government is doing nothing about it! They refuse to ban the product, and are wasting billions of dollars on experimentations using this the Dihydrogen monoxide. The navy has been found to use it in order to aid their cause. THAT'S RIGHT. THEY ARE USING IT FOR WAR!

But you can still help! If you have a serious contamination Dihydrogen monoxide, simply call this number:

1-800-DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE! WE NEED YOUR HELP!

"Does anyone have anymore quarters? I ran out halfway through the number."

One day Johnson was sitting in his boat lazing about under the blue sunny sky watching tufts of cloud slowly drift by, when he looked down and realized that some nasty seaweed had attached itself to his boat, in dire straights he reached into his pocket and pulled put his trusty portable phone booth, then he frantically searched his pockets for a quarter, finding none he scoured the bottom of his boat when at last he found one sole quarter sticking between the planks, popping the quarter itno his trusty phone booth he called his local seaweed removal agency. "Good afternoon you have reached The Seaweed Removal Agency local branch, this is William speaking, how may I help you?" "Yea, this is Johnson, and seaweed is attacking my boat!" "Where are you Mr. Johnson?" "On my portable phone booth in the middle of the ocean." "Oh that is a problem, our middle of the ocean worker called in sick today." "Is there anything you can do?" "Well, I can guide you though the steps to remove it yourself Mr. Johnson, will that suffice?" "If it has to, then I guess." "Alright Mr. Johnson, do you have anything long and flat to scrape the seaweed off with?" "No, no I don't think so." "Then do you have anyhting short and round to push it off with?" "No, no I don't think I have something like that either." "Then do you have a free hand to peel it off with?" "Yes, yes I think I do have one of those somewhere." "Ok Mr. Johnson, this is what you have to do, take your hand, reach down the side of your boat, grab onto the seaweed, and peel it off and throw it away, understand Mr. Johnson." "Yes, yes I do, I'm going to do that now." So Johnson reachs over the side of his boat and slowly peels the seaweed off and throws it away. "Haha! It's gone, thank you for your help Seaweed Removal Agency!" "It was my pleasure Mr. Johnson." "Is there anyhting I can do to repay you?" "Yes there is Mr. Johnson, spread the word on how to peel seaweed away using a hand." "That's what I'll do then." and with that, Johnson became a travelling seaweed remover instructor for the future generations of seaweed romovers at the Seaweed Removal Agency Academy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Quina

This week on Lost: The castaways find a mysterious phone out in the water. It rings every hour on the hour, and when they pick it up all they hear is 'Do you have five minutes to take a quick survey?' When they answer no the phone hangs up. When they answer yes the voice only asks them one question. That question...will be revealed in about 7 episodes. Meanwhile, multiple flashbacks reveal how phones ruined Jack's life. Also, this will connect him to the African guy's past in some way.

---

:dot:

DEAR SIR, THIS PHONE CALL MAY COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE. ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. I AM BARRISTER LIAM DONALD OF LAGOS, NIGERIA, AND I REPRESENT THE BANK OF MAGICROUNDABOUTS. I AM CALLING YOU TO INFORM YOU OF THE DEATH OF FOREIGNER ENGINEER DANIEL TOWNS IN A GHASTLY SHIRTLESS PHOTOGRAPH ACCIDENT. LATE ENGR. TOWNS LEFT A SUM OF $45,000,000,000,000,000,000 USD (FORTY-FIVE BRAZILLIAN US DOLLARS) BEHIND IN AN ACCOUNT IN OUR BANK, THE NATIONAL BANK OF KIKIMMS, BUT I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND AND CONTACT HIS FAMILY OF POTATO WAFFLES, AND SO I WILL LIKE YOU TO STAND IN AS A POTATO WAFFLE IN HIS PLACE. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER, ADDRESS, BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS, SHOE SIZE, BRA SIZE AND FAVOURITE SONG BY JON BON JOVI AND YOU WILL RECEIVE 40% OF THIS REWARD. THE REST WILL GO TO MY BANK, THE FIRST BANK OF UNDEADHEROES. NO SIR, THIS IS NOT A SCAM! OKAY SIR. GOODBYE.

Voice: Hello, Mariner Support. How can I help you?
Jeff: Hello...? Yes, erm, my boat won't move.
Voice: Have you tried pushing it into the water?
Jeff: Umm... I think I have... Ah, yes, I can confirm that I am already in the ocean!
Voice: OK, great. Have you tried rowing?
Jeff: What?
Voice: Rowing, you know, with the oars?
Jeff: Um...
Voice: ...You do know what oars are, don't you?
Jeff: Aren't they the big pig-like things with sharp...
Voice: *Muffled laughter from half the department* No, sir. Oars not boars.
Jeff: Oh, wait, I think I have located the oars! Are they the long wooden things that get wider at one end?
Voice: Yes sir, yes they are. Now this bit is very important, so I need you to listen to me very carefully. I want you to try to row, but you can't start until after we've finished the call. Now what you need to do, after the call, is to place the oars partway into the water and move them in a...
*splashing noises*
Voice: ...Sir? Sir...? ...Bloody idiot!

Whorepheus had been running away from the agents for half an hour. He had been to all the hardlines in town but each had been cut. This was his last hope to survive. He had to use all his matrix powers just to get to this hardline. He was out of ammo. When he came to the harbour, he dived into the boat and powered off. He could see the phone in the distance. He was half way there, and was shot in the shoulder. He knew he was running out of time. Finally, he picked up the phone, and realised he had failed.

He had run out of change.

Manus is the best. Mes loves it

A press conference in the newly formed independant nation of Boboatania was held yesterday, and the official position is that living conditions for their sole citizen, George, who deposed former president Bob after it was discovered he was skimming public funds for his own gain, are excellent and improving steadily. Though there is no food, and none of the water surrounding the tiny nation are yet potable, George is optimistic for the country's future, since they have just made their first step into progress, specifically nationwide telephone service. George plans to sue for delivery of food from the local Pizza hut at the next meeting of the UN, stating "It is an offense to our great nation of Boboatania and its great citizen to declare that we our 'outside of their delivery radius' and that 'I do not care that you're only five hundred feet from the store, we don't dliver on water'. When asked how the nation would fair without its political leader during the UN conference, George responded 'I feel the nation will be fine. I am having the Johnson's next door look after it. They are fine people and I think they take fine care of the nation and my cat fluffy in my absence.'
The Johnsons, when asked about their tiny neighbor, were reported as saying- (continued on PB8)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Quina

This week on Lost: The castaways find a mysterious phone out in the water. It rings every hour on the hour, and when they pick it up all they hear is 'Do you have five minutes to take a quick survey?' When they answer no the phone hangs up. When they answer yes the voice only asks them one question. That question...will be revealed in about 7 episodes. Meanwhile, multiple flashbacks reveal how phones ruined Jack's life. Also, this will connect him to the African guy's past in some way.

---

Quina wins, hands down.

I will make sure of it.

I'm sure that's what Super Delete would want, since he himself can't win.

Don't worry Quina, I won't mess it up for you like that unfortunate Weirdest Member business. :)

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/phone.jpg
"But Jesus, you're on a rowboat! How can you call me?"
"I'm Jesus, LOL!"

I won't enter because I'm incapable of writing a paragraph about anything. And so is Flying Mullet apparantly.

On Panorama tonight, we give exclusive access to the facts that the government DOESN'T want you to see. We uncover shocking evidence of climate change that could affect your area. Also on tonight, midget trafficking. Is this miniture smuggling operation causing the downfall of society? Plus a ban on hair in Rotchester. How one man's crusade against the council that let him down led to disastrous consequences beyond comprehension. All this after another re-run of The Goode Life, BBC 2, 10 o clock. Now wash your hands.

Nigga stole my boat.

The Amistades III
Full feature film about a runaway slave calling on the north for help as white parishiners of the Klu Klux Klan circle 'round him in their motor boat, the Amistades III. The epic tale takes place on Lake Ogopogo, Japan, where the man-eating sepentous creature rumored to inhabit the lake saves the slave by attacking the Amistades III, sinking it, and ending racial prejudice!

The camera pans in to a local fast food restaurant in New Orleans:
"Yes, could I get a number two with a diet coke? And can you put the diet coke in one of those cup holder trays? I don't have any cup holders. :("

New Orleans humour? Oh for shame, Flying Mullet. How dare you take advantage of this catastrophe!?

...:)

If he was white, he would have merely found the phone.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Flying Mullet

The camera pans in to a local fast food restaurant in New Orleans:
"Yes, could I get a number two with a diet coke? And can you put the diet coke in one of those cup holder trays? I don't have any cup holders. :("

---

:love: :love: :love: :love:

Little African John came to age to get his boating license. After he got his license, his mother told him that she would buy him a boat if he could prove that he was responsible enough. His mother suggested getting a pet, and if he could raise it succesfully, he could have a boat. Well, John didn't have enough money for a pet. So one day, while walking down the street, he spotted a phone booth. He thought it would be pretty easy to raise his phone booth, and he could ditch it as soon as he got his boat. He raised the phone booth for an entire month with out any setbacks. But he grew attached to the phonebooth, and now takes it with him in his boat whereever he goes.

Psychotic's and Old Manus's are the best ones so far, I think.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by theundeadturkey

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/phone.jpg

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*man on boat* sup, I'm on a boat. This dude called moses was like WHOOOA and split the waters and stuff. It was cool. I like men.

I'm assuming a "paragraph or so" allows for two.

-------

It wasn't supposed to be this way. He had done nothing wrong; the "Can you hear me now?" guy had been a menace to society. He had been given no choice. He had made it quick. But unlike the previous commercial targets he had disposed of, this one wouldn't leave him alone. The public loved him after he had offed Ronald McDonald. The death of Toucan Sam had elevated him to rarified air, the domain of rock stars and televangelists. Even getting rid of that annoying kid from the local area car dealer had earned him a tax break. This had just been another job--a public service, really. But still--that bespectacled devil haunted his dreams. He could find repose for no more than a few hours, before that horrible catch phrase made him sit up in a cold sweat. Soon after, he had begun to see things. The man gazed back at him from windows, brushed by him on the street. The "Can you hear me now?" guy was following him.

So he had fled. And now, reclining in a dingy little boat off the coast of Myanmar, he was safe. And as he lazed back, gazing out at the halcyon perfection of the waters, he felt something in the boat. In disbelief, he turned to stare at a phone booth. The phone rang, so he picked it up. Fortunately, it was only his grandmother, who was excited about her 500 whenever minutes.

Tomorrow the winner will be announced along with part three of the contest to win FFIII (VI) on the SNES!

The time has come to announce the winner. It's going to be Quina, no wait, Masamune 1600! Congradulations. Now, on to part three.

This was a contest?

You just wanted to eat the phone, didn't you :(

I agree with the winner's choice. Well done. ^_^