Hypothetically speaking, what would be the most efficient way to dispose of a body?
Printable View
Hypothetically speaking, what would be the most efficient way to dispose of a body?
well... okay as long as it's not anyone I know...
burning it would be fairly effective... but that has its flaws... hmm
How about the Secret Window approach... bury it under corn stalks and let it be eaten away.
"Hypothetically", eh?
Well if I were to dispose of a body I would set it aflame, then put the ashes into a container with any remaining pieces (like bones). Then weight the container down and put it into a deep lake. *nods*
yeah that would work to. I guess.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Summoner of Leviathan
Butcher and eat the bodies.
I hear that an acid bath is the best way to go, or you could just eat it.
If Weekend at Bernie's has taught us anything, it's to pretend the body is still alive and to party with it.
Actually, just setting it aflame wouldn't do much other than char it. Human bone is one of the hardest substances to destroy with fire; you'd need a furnace with extremely high temperatures. :p
Personally, I'd take to the middle of the Waitakeres or some similar place and bury it really, really deeply. Maybe dismember it too, if I could stomach it. :p
It depends on where you are if this will work. Here in rigby a good way to do it is to first chop the limbs off a body and put them in a garbage bag. Then you throw it in the rigby ceptic tank which from what I here is quite accessable. It will get ground up in the first three grinders and then theoreticly clog them and then finally clog the fourht grinder. Since no one knows that someone had been murded yet they won't search it and simply dispose of everything there, thus getting rid of all the evidence and backing up every toilet in rigby. My friend who thought this up is on a private septic tank so he wouldn't have to worry about it.
acid bath eh?
Freeze it and send it through a wood chipper over a river. :cat:
Man, Leeza knows what she's talking about. What actually happens to people that are banned? :eek:
That or acid.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
Now we know.... :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Levian
I get the feeling I'm not the only person mildly disturbed by this question... :erm:Quote:
Originally Posted by Yamaneko
Umm, I'm actually afraid to offer a suggestion, in case it works... Your best best would probably be to put it in a well secure container, take it far out to sea, and let it fall to the ocean floor.
I'm not condoning this kind of activitiy though, you understand..?
Honestly? Chop it up into tiny litle pieces, no bigger than a baseball. If you can't burn it, then put them in a car and drive around town placing a single piece in everyone's garbage can.
"Bring out yer dead!" Monty python had this one figured out!
Some people make lampshades and other hand tools. I think just burrying them should suffice.
If you are asking for traditional purposes, can't go wrong 6 feet under - that way you cannot here the dead complain .
bip
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doomie
thats what he told me to type anyway :choc:Quote:
Originally Posted by PiP
put it in a bag get boat and go very far into the ocean put a 100lb weight on it and let er drop to the bottom, or u could feed it to hungry great white sharks.
It's obvious that he killed someone.
I would personally first either use an incinerateor, which are difficult to get access to, or if I had the time, take a good oul Oxyacetalene torch to it. I would otherwise dismember the body into reasonalbe peices and dump them separately in various parts of the sea. I know certain spots that swarm with fish, which would quickly dispose of it.
Personally, I'd drive to the swamp about an hour north of me and feed him to the 'gators...
The Snatch way. Feed it to the pigs. If i remember correctly, 12 pigs can eat 4 adult bodies in about an hour. I guess I'd have to cut them into neatly sized pieces first though.
smash it to bits with a shovel, acid bath then pour everything else into concrete and dump it in a remote river.
chop into many little bits, put in a blender, feed to the family :D
Kagga:love:
Bathtub with highly concentrated Hydrocholic Acid. Chop the component parts up into various sizes and wait until it's a goop. Then proceed to dispose of it over time via a drainage system. Be sure to use Bleach to wash off anywhere where blood has been, you don't want it coming up on a DNA smear.
Chop it up really well, put it in some kid's bowl of chilli and let him eat it.
Flash freeze it (dip it in liquid nitrogen, which is at -141 celsius) for about 3 or 4 minutes and hit it with a hammer a few times. It should shatter into pieces. Then collect the pieces and put them out to sea, some sea life will eventually eat it.
Place the body in a room, leave said room with the door closed right behind you, open the door and enter the room. The body should now be gone.
Some of these methods are highly unreasonable, if no more reason than they are impossible for someone in California or they would be caught in the process. Let's be realistic here ;)
Chop it up into pieces in the bath. And flush the pieces down the toilet
I just realised someone has said that. With bigger words, longer sentebces and better grammer o_0
what you would have to do is
1 burn the body until there is no more skin flesh or muscles or nothing just bones
2 grab a hammer and smash the bones to pieces until they are like just little lumps ok you cant do anything about the teeth but dont worrie you get all the bones and teeth and you chuck them off a cliff into the sea so then no one will ever know and it is the cheapest way :D
i am a very clever person when it comes to stuff like that hehe
Infiltrate Cape Canaveral using stealth techniques such as knocking on walls, hiding under boxes and idly dropping pornographic magazines everywhere, and then tape the body to the side of a space shuttle due for launch.
chop it up and feed it to an alligator
Tie concrete blocks to the feet and throw it into a deep body of water.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
I refuse to support this thread.
EDIT~Chopping up a body then giving those pieces an acid bath works, everytime. ;)
Dont be putting body parts in my bath! :chuckle: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!! I am SO funny!Quote:
Originally Posted by Skarr
Throw it in the neighbors' back yard.
Nooooooooooooo!!!!!
I cant take it anymore I'm turning myself in to the police.
Thats what I would do if I killed somebody Ahem(Yamaneko)
well if i had to hypethetically speaking of course and if i was desperate enough which i most likely never will...i would probably dump it in a alley...things lk that happen all the time sadly
Bren Bren you dumped me in the alley like you said ,but what you dont know is that
I am still alive sucka!!!
blow it up, then scatter and bury the body parts in the Sahara Desert.
Cement shoes and into the river. I'm a sucker for the classics.
Thank you for the help, guys.