:happybday Chuck Norris!
http://totalworkout.homestead.com/files/chuck2.jpg
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:happybday Chuck Norris!
http://totalworkout.homestead.com/files/chuck2.jpg
It'd be more awesome if he was born on 4th of july. Oh, and I'm not going to congratulate him. He'll just roundhouse me in the face.
Worst birthday thread ever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by corncracker after taking a Chuck Norris roundhouse to the head
I hate you mullet,
I am ze only person who can counter Chuck Norris's Chuck Norrisness.
happy birthday.
I'll chuck your norris. But seriously...chuck norris can't get older, being the equivelent to god on earth and all, which therefor makes this thread pointless.
Stay Essential
EE
When he kicks the bucket you will be the first I laugh at.Quote:
Originally Posted by eternal essence
Sorry if I seem a little extra bitter, but I just hate this guy. I shall show my dislike by posting a Mr. T fact.
There is a 97.783% chance you are the fool Mr. T pities.
Pfft, once he hears that you've said that, the bucket will be kicked straight at your face...KAPOW!Quote:
Originally Posted by corncracker
anyway, Mr. T is cool and you're not allowed to assume i don't like him....cause if you do *shakes fist*
Stay Essential
EE
I just said the Mr. T fact to mock chuck, since this thread has nothing to do with Mr. T. And to mock chuck even more
Atlas was complaining about back pains and asked Mr. T to hold the world for him. Mr. T agreed on the condition Atlas would wear his gold chains. After five minutes of excrutiating pain atlas asked for the world back.
It's Goomba Day today. :cat:
Why has Chuck Norris become some kind of inside humour lately? D:
Woooo Goombas and Chuck Norris in one day, how could this day get any better?
HAIL GLORIOUS CHU...wait a minute, the elections are over and I don't have to pretend to like this crap anymore.
Chuck Norris bought some groceries at a local store, before realising he had $1.54 less than he needed. Chuck tried to roundhouse the employee but, unfortunately and yet strangely amusingly, he got a hernia and collapsed on the floor in agony, and had to be taken to hospital.
He never did get those groceries.
first off topic post by Leeza I have seen.Quote:
Originally Posted by Leeza
wow ^___________^
ya know....
If by "tried to" you mean "did gloriously" and by "he got a hernia" you meanQuote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
"the employee peed his pants in fear" and by "He never did get those groceries." you mean "Chuck always gets his groceries.", then I agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
Good point!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsukasa
Stay on topic Leeza! :smash:
Then we're going to have to disagree, Mullet Time™.
I'm going to make a new Mr. T/Vin Diesel/Chuck Norris. I'm thinking Boris Yeltsin.
Boris Yeltsin got in a fist fight with the Moon, and won.
Impossible. The only thing that could EVER hurt Chuck Norris would be a Chuck Norris clone (thus why cloning is illegal). But if this ever did happen the amount of pure energy that would emit from 2 Chuck Norris rounhouse kicks at 2 Chuck Norris's would be more powerful than if the entire world unloaded nuclear payloads all at once. Thus the end of existance itselfQuote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
Or, more realistically, it'd have the same force as two sad old men slapping each other simultaneously. And that's not a coincidence.
Bah, Boris Yelstin is just an opportunist. Chuck was bored on a lunch break one day and decided he'd had enough of Soviet Russia so he brought the regime down. Then Boris stepped in and tried to take control and pretend that he's as awesome as Chuck.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
In Soviet Russia Chuck still kicks ass.
Chuck did punch his reflection in the mirror once. Chuck doesn't have a house on top of Mt. St. Helens anymore.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
Oh, this Chuck thing has only been around since 1991? And there was me thinking it was the favourite joke of the cavemen.
(Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Wooly Mammoth and invented the sport of lacrosse at the same time! UG UG UG UG UG!)
Why'd you think the wooly mammoths was extinct?Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
Bird flu? :confused:
o rly?
I tried to give Chuck Norris a card for his birthday, but he proceeded to kick me solidly in the back. I have since given birth to twins, who were born with full beards.
Chuck Norris is sexy. I'd give him a birthday dance.
I have your answerQuote:
Originally Posted by Flying Mullet
Archeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It’s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The archeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it’s simply not possible for Chuck Norris to be killed
More important on this day we must recognize the greatness that is Chuck
Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter
Before sliced bread, people used to say "Thats the greatest thing since Chuck Norris". But Chuck Norris was displeased by this. So he roundhouse kicked a loaf of bread into slices
Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas"
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
A forum full of Chuck Norris fans and nobody has a user name of the like. How disappointing.
Happy b-day Chuck!
Cept i'm getting a bit tired of Chuck lately we need to idealize something else now. Not saying Chuck is bad but he is getting over used.
Mr. T is my Idol.
In celebration I'm gonna go roundhouse kick people.