EOFF RPG Giveaway Contest (Win FFIII for the SNES)

Remember that:

You can make more than one entry.

You can enter the contest if you don't won't to win as long as you mention that it's only for fun.

Since Super Delete and Masamune 1600 have already won, so they can't win any other, but they may still enter for fun.

Over the next few weeks I will be hosting a series of contests here at EOFF. They last a week. The winner will be chosen by me on Friday night and revealed the next Saturday morning. This is a four part contest with prizes for each part. The prizes for each one will be:

1: A copy of FFI for the NES.
2: A copy of FFII for the SNES.
3: A copy of FFIII for the SNES.
4: A copy of Crono Trigger for the SNES.

Each contest will be harder than the last because the games just get cooler as the contest goes on. Any member can enter any contest as often as they like, but you may only win one of the contests. A previous winner can enter the next contests just for the fun of it if they like. I am the sole judge of this contest and all winners will be required to PM me their address so that I can mail the games to them.

The contests are:

1: Provide a caption for the picture I provide.
2: Write a paragraph or so describing the event in the picture.
3: Tell a story involving the pictures I provide.
4: Tell a story and provide your own pictures. They can be real pictures that you scanned, pictures taken off the internet, things you've drawn in paint, or whatever. You just have to provide at least four pictures illustrating your story. If you plan to win this contest I recommend starting now.Bolded for emphasis as this is coming up next week.

Entries will be judged in humor, originality, and how well they go along with the pictures.

Now for part three of the contest. You'll have to write a story. It doesn't have to be an increasingly large story, a short one will do, but don't feel the need to cut it short. I don't believe I need to provide an example for this. The story will be required to involve the following scenes. What's happening in the scenes is up to you :) They are posted in no particular order.

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest1.jpg

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest2.jpg

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest3.jpg

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest4.jpg

Have fun!

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest3.jpg

Once upon a time, not so long ago, there were a couple of noobs who had been banned from EoFF. Using the patented "Leeza-caging system", the noobs were slowly taken away from the boards from writing such things as "RSL = Sexhay" and "OMG LOL FF7 RULEZ!". But little did Cid's Knights and the Admins know that they were infact witches! In rage of their permanent banning, they cast a Slow-Water spell on the main road of internet traffic.

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest1.jpg

And so the puddle began to grow and grow. First it was but a drop, then a splash, then practically a lake (had it been fifty miles wider across it's diameter). Everyone was puzzled about this, some frightened, but some took advantage and used it primarily for fishing. Like Neel here, who found himself a brand new user name to use in the water.

So life carried on on the boards, and though the amount of visitors started to decline due to the puddle stopping some of the traffic, Loony Bob set up a system to weights and pullies fiendishly disguised as banana tress to help people cross. That was until fire_of_avalon decided to bring her brand new car to work one day.


http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest2.jpg

By now the puddle had grown very very very long, and most certainly deep. And though before f_o_a had been able to simply drive over the water, thus avoiding ruining her shoes, instead the car plunged into the murky depths below. "O no, who will save me?" she cried as her walnut dashboard became soggy and unusuable. It was at this time that none other than Del Murder, a.k.a Super Delete, swooped in to save her. "My hero" exclaimed f_o_a. "LOL, ASL?" replied Super Delete. Despite being saved the car was now a wreck, but was more than suitable for a certain group of specialised pirates to dive in and salvage it at a later date.

After this incident everyone became scared, and soon started to scarper for fears of their own automobiles being sunked. Necropoplitipostolis went off to start his own Classic Gaming site @ www.necropoplitipostolis.com/nugamessux/ , eestlinc created a short-lived cult based around worshiping Digestive Biscuits, and Behold the Void beheld the void for a little too long and ended up in said Void.


http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest4.jpg

And so EoFF was abandoned, thanks to a pair of noobs with ridiculously powerful magicks casting an unexplanable Water spell. But the site did prove useful, as Yamaneko, Samuraid and Cid stayed behind, build a rudimentary bridge and bred tiny little white chocobos that in no way resembled chickens at all. Everyone was happy in the world, life carried on as normal, and they all lived in a small council estate ever after.

The moral of the story? If you wanna win anything in EoFF, drop names like it's going out of fashion.

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest4.jpg

It was a time of war. Hitler had just gotten new allies called "The Chickens" lead by Sergant Roo Rooster. They marched to envoke the chaos they contained.

Their first mission was to capture the Babooshka's, Two old women who used the power of the Russian Language to make the Nazi's run away screaming like little girls. The Chickens immediately devised a plan to take down the Babooshka's. They split into 2 squads. The first squad dressed like a human so they could blend in with everyone while the others would drive a "car" into the city, disquised as well, and get info.

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest2.jpg

Squad B hijacked a car and drove off crashing into everything in their way. Suddenly a loud rumbling could be heard. Their stomachs ached for some McDonalds so they parked in the lot then went inside. BUT when they came out, pecking at their little Mickey Mouse toys, they saw their "car" had been sabotaged by...the BABOOSHKAS!

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e1...ntestThing.jpg

Meanwhile Squad A made their way through the town searching for the Babooshkas. Unfortunatley a farmer, sitting in the middle of a parking lot with a fishing rod fishing in a dirty puddle who is not suspicious in the slightest, noticed the strange looking humans and called the Babooshkas.

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest3.jpg

The Babooshkas got the call and looked around for their henchman, Vladmier Uzi. But out of the blue Vladimier came around the corner in the new X216 Tractorbile. The Babooshkas, easily taken over with his luxury and money, got into the attached cage in the back and they drove off.

Squad A Chickens saw this vehicle go past them and one chicken said to the other:
"Hey aren't those the Babooshkas?!"
"Nah, that's just 2 old ladies in the back of a X216 Tractorbile inside of a cage being taken away."
"Oh, that makes sense."
However Sergeant Roo wasn't going to be fooled so easily. He came flying from the sky and tackled the vehicle. An epic battle took place against the 2 Babooshkas and Seg. Roo. The Babooshkas ran forward and lunged for the rooster but all he did was sit there as they tried to grab him. A coulple seconds later the 2 ladies fell over, dead.
The Chickens nuzzled up their leader with pecks and squaks and asked him:
"Wow sarge! How did you do it?"
And he replied...
"I have Bird Flu, but now so do you!" :)

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest1.jpg

A few millenia ago, in the peaceful land of Middle-Earth, some clever soul decided it'd be a pretty great idea to start handing out magic rings of power to all and sundry, and the ownership of which was decided in a lottery. One of the rings went to Sauron, who was fresh out of high school, and had been bullied for wearing dark clothes and listening to Marilyn Orcson. He decided he wanted revenge, and conquering the world seemed like a good way to achieve this, so he did.

But then a bunch of Elves and fairies and pixies and mods and rockers decided to beat him up, and steal his ring. Then they gave it to a midget, although due to these politically correct times, I shall henceforth call them hobbits. Frodo was a hobbit, and he lived with his hobbit pal, Sam. They were heterosexuals with absolutely no interest in each other, because calling them gay is played. Then a nice old friendly wizard with a long beard, named Gandalf, kidnapped Frodo and Sam for deviant purposes, and a couple more hobbits in case Frodo and Sam couldn't take the pressure of being Gandalf's assistants. He also made a few other saps come along, possibly because he didn't like being the only one with a beard. BREAKING NEWS! RSL has a beard!

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest3.jpg

And so Harry Potter, aggrieved that his parents had been murdered, gathered together his friends, consisting of the entirely heterosexual Ron who had absolutely no interest in him, (and for reference, neither did Malfoy or Snape) because calling them gay is played, and some bitch who internet nerds seem to love, and went after Lord Voldemort.

After a long and gruelling battle, which largely consisted of saying really silly long words, with the occasional "yo momma!" thrown in, Harry smote down the evil Lord Voldemort. "At last", he panted with exhaustion, "my parents deaths have been avenged!"
"NOT QUITE, YER FLAMIN' MIDGIT!" a loud voice bellowed.
"Double you tea, eff?" asked Harry. Hagrid, a hairy giant with immaculately crimped hair, jumped out.
"It was me all along, Harry! I killed yer parents, an' Voldemort was jus' me puppet the whole ruddy time!"
"But Hagrid! You said we were to be married!" exclaimed Hermione. "I'm clever and blah blah blah!"
"Well," said Harry. "This is amusing."

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest4.jpg

"Use the force, Luke!" Obi-Wan's bodiless voice cried out.
"But I love you so much, Luke." said Darth Vader. "I love you so much that it reminds me of love and also cherishment. You're beautiful and love!"
"Didn't I slap that nonsense out of you when I threw you into that lava?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Oh, yeah, good point." agreed Vader.

Suddenly, their intense duel was broken up by the arrival of C-3PO and R2-D2, who were both heterosexual robots, and had absolutely no interest in each other, because calling them gay is played. "Oh no, Deux Ex Machina!" screamed Darth.
"What the crap?" asked Luke. "I was PWNING j00! and what the hell can these two dorks do in a battle?" C-3PO and R2-D2 then beat the [img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img] out of Luke and Darth Vader, and then banged several curvacious robot chicks.

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest2.jpg

Psychotic decided it would be a good idea to fight the combined forces of Yamaneko, Del Murder, ShlupQuack, boris no no, Agent Proto, rubah, Kawaii Ry(ACCENTED U)kishi, someonewhowillbeupsetifIdon'treferencethem, and anyone else who really, really sucks and is totally jealous of how great Psychotic is at the same time. As usual, Psychotic was right. He quickly dispatched these silly foes with the power of his own sheer awesifity, when Loony BoB arrived to tip the scales! He found the scales, and put an extra 50lb weight on one side, tipping the scales, before leaving. He and Psychotic are absolutely heterosexual, and have no interest in each other, because calling them gay is played. But unbeknownst to BoB, Psychotic had stuck a poisonous scorpion by the name of Andrew to his back, who stung BoB, and he died.

Then Psychotic gave theundeadhero a brazillian dollars, and said that theundeadhero is the best person in the entire universe, and he also remarked that theundeadhero is undoubtedly not open to bribery or brown nosing of any kind. Then he flew away in his gold-plated spaceship to the Planet of the Really Hot Babes.

The end.

That's a lot of characters in your story, Psychotic. I'm interested in seeing how they all tie in together and what they have to do with the pictures. (Add another zero and we have a deal. Brazillian money isn't worth as much these days ;))

Well that was...amusing.

It turns out they don't tie together in the least, and they have absolutely nothing to do with the pictures whatsoever. (I'll give you a spillion then)

But I think I've got the originality criteria licked. (I didn't say they were gay!)

Picture One: Women in cage
Picture Two: car stuck in water
Picture Three: man fishing in lake
Picture Four: Chicken picture
Sorry that I couldn't upload the pictures onto my computer and insert it as an image. The computer I am using has very strict restrictions and I am not allowed to download anything

Story
Old MacDonald the 100 year old farmer renowned for his chicken that lays golden eggs. The eggs are pure 18 carat gold, weighs over 20 stone and takes the chicken a full 10 years to produce. The time has come for the chicken who lays the golden egg to relieve itself from it's burden and Old MacDonald has planned to take the chicken to the local incubating station. It was hard work but somehow Old MacDonald managed to lure the chicken into a 6 foot cage to which he towed behind him with his tractor. However local scum and no-good scoundrels have been spying on the farmer and neatly devised a cunning plan. Whilst one asked Old MacDonald if he knew the time the rest picked the lock on the cage. It took all five of them to lift the chicken out of the cage whilst keeping the noise at a bare minimum. But surely Old MacDonald would have realised the difference in weight on the back of his tractor. Enter the two big boned ladies (whom the scoundrels had kidnapped beforehand as part of their devious scheme) who more than compensated for the weight (Picture One). However one of the scondrels was even more devious than the rest and devised a slippery trick of his own. Whilst the rest of his buddies partied as they drove the chicken away he cut loose all the rope that was tied to his friends motorbikes and scooted away with his own still attatched. All was not plain sailing for this young hoodlum when he realised not only was it becoming extremely dark but he was also out of fuel. He decided to take the chicken to a remote place in the countryside for safe keeping. As rotten as he was the scoundrel had a brain and had cautiously prepared himself for any mishap. He nailed the chicken by the foot onto a nearby shed and wheeled his motorbike home, he would return there tomorrow. The next day he returned but found the chicken nowhere to be seen. Infact the shed was completely demolished bits of plank scattered everywhere and atleast fifty sets of rope lying all over the place. He drew the conclusion that news of the most famous chicken in Britain was on the loose and everyone was doing whatever they could to get their hands on that golden egg. Following the largest skidmark his search led him to the most bizarre sight he had ever seen. There near the riverbank was a twenty way tug of war. Ropes were pulling the plank with the chicken in all directions. The scoundrel knew what he had to do. Like the night before he took out his pocket knife and cut as many of the ropes as he could. The sudden relief of tension of one particular rope caused one car to fly straight into a puddle of filth (Picture Two). It also caused another jeep whose driver handily attached his rope to a nearby porta-john whilst he kept his engine running to lurch forward at full speed ripping much of the bogs from their foundations. This left a horrible mess of poop and piss behind aswell as one unlucky Australian tourist who was desperate for a poop of his own and had been sitting patiently outside with his fishing gear(Picture Three). But this is where the scoundrel's awareness let him down. He had cut all but one of the ropes which immediately got maximum pull of the chicken and began dragging it at high speed. Fortunately the scoundrel had managed to grab hold of the rope before it lost him and just managed to cut it loose before they reached the river. However at that very instant the most incredible bizarre and Italian-Job-esque situation occured. The scoundrel just managed to grab the plank at the very last minute to stop it falling into the deep river trench. He felt the weight of the chicken tip him upwards like a seesaw and had to exert more pressure down on his side to keep the balance. He tilted up and down for at least half an hour trying to assess his options. Suddenly he was hit with the most tremendous pain he had ever experienced. Three sharp claws had dug into his calf muscle and he turned round to see a whole flock of chicken attempting to walk over him. He couldn't believe how being stepped on by a chicken could cause so much pain but it took him less than a second to conclude that the chicken whose second foot was now also standing on him must have been carrying a golden egg too. He immediately rolled out of the way before he was stampeded to death. He realised that Old MacDonald was no fool after all in that he merely persuaded the public to believe that he there was only one chicken who laid golden eggs when really he was breeding a whole tribe of them. It also came as no surprise that old MacDonald had died of laughter when he heard the story of the wild chicken hunt and his wife who had absolutely no farming experience at all could do nothing about the army of chickens deciding to head off across the river (via the new bridge) to live in the countryside (Picture Four).

Er, could you space that a little man?

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest3.jpg

"Okay Maud, remind me how we got here again."
"Well, first the dinosaurs came. But they got to big and fat and were hit by a large rock that someone had thrown at them from space, so they died. Soon, small animals started to walk the earth, like this cat:

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest4.jpg

These ruled the roost on earth for some time, until God came along and killed them. Then he made the garden of Eden, and modern man. Running out of animals to make, he decided to make a thing called a chicken, which secretly looked like a cat but was just renamed. But I'm going off track here. Anyway, the two humans God made were not standing for the fact that they had to wear leaves and appropriately placed branches, and decided to take the guidance of a snake they had never seen before in their lives (and could also speak english), and eat from the tree of justice.

God was well pissed by this action, and told the two humans to pack their leaves and bugger off. Needless to say, they were gutted. After travelling for miles, the male human found a hole in the floor, filled with water. Using the fishing technique taught to him by God, he tried to catch a fish.

5000 years later:

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest1.jpg

Not even a nibble. At this point the human came to the conclusion that there must be no fish in this water, and decided to pack his bags and leave. He turned to go home and tell his wife tall tales about the one the one that got away, when a crazed driver in a rush to get home from work run him over and went straight into the pool.

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest2.jpg

And the moral of the story is: Crime doesn't pay.

Long long ago there was a great warrior who was known by all in many tounges but carried no true name. He could defeat any man, conquer any beast, and woo any woman.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...orrisstory.jpg

In Latin they called him Vincent (Conqueror, victor) the Celtic's called him Cadman (a man of battle) or Caedmon (a wise warrior) whereas the Norse called him Magne (Fierce Warrior). Throughout his legacy he was behind every great victory in battle, and was the council for every wise decision ever made. One day while he was out benchpressing his dairy cows, a man
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...1983/1sb20.jpg

came to him and said there was word of a greater warrior than he. Immediately the warrior sprang to his feet and rounhouse kicked the messenger leaving him grotesquely disfigured http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...983/Kramer.jpg

the only words that the warrior could make out of the mans mouth were "go...China" So the Warrior quickly began running. 20 minutes and 42,000 miles later he came face to face with this warrior the messanger had spoke of. Without warning a great battle ensued http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...3/10104145.jpg

the chinese warrior was his greatest challenge yet, requiring 3 roundhouse kicks and a headbutt. As he stood over the remains of his enemies, the crowd started chanting nuk su kow, nuk su kow. but the warrior did not care for this name so he immediately roundhouse kicked everyone within a 30 ft radius and ran off destroying every home in his path
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...ocouchsmll.gif

but because he was a peaceful man at heart he exiled himself in the only place where people were lazy and stupid enough to not bow in his presence. Here in the land of america he took the alias "Chuck Norris". He even met a friend
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...le-Show-01.jpg
while here that taught him that the pleasures of america could somewhat satisfy his need to kill
http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e2...dey1983/01.jpg

So he took a vow to downplay his greatness and pretend to be mortal, started making movies (a producer saw him break his vow one christmas by giving the gift of a roundhouse kick to the face) and started selling exercise equipment. He now lives peacefully and teaches us all that theres a time and a place for everything....and it's Chuck Norris

For the FFIII contest you have to use the pictures provided for the story. Do you want me to hang on to this one for the Chrono Trigger contest? That's the one where you use your own pictures.

could someone post the links to the first two contests

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by theundeadhero

For the FFIII contest you have to use the pictures provided for the story. Do you want me to hang on to this one for the Chrono Trigger contest? That's the one where you use your own pictues.

---

Please. I didn't know which was for which, I just saw one option was use your own pics, so I went that route:D

So, once upon a time, there was this spikey haired dude who lived in this really crappy part of town named Midgar. Needless to say, he went on many wild and crazy adventures with his friends, did the whole Final Fantasy thing for about 20 hours or so, and things got very, very strange. Because, you see, all he wanted to do was be a terrorist, but instead...
http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest3.jpg
His friends dragged him along on a really drawn out adventure to save the planet from some random lunatic hell bent on knocking them down, which is a problem that seems to plague the Final Fantasy universe. Anyway, this said lunatic (Sephiroth) decided it would be funny if he crashed a giant meteor into the planet, so, using his incredible powers, and playing off Spikey-Head's gullibility, he was able to use the ultimate destructive materia, Meteor. Behold the damaging powers.
http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest1.jpg
Yeah, so that plan wasn't terribly effective. Really, all it did was choke up the morning commute for the Shinra executives, who were right pissed about the whole ordeal. One, who was particularly pissed, was the no-longer-lovely Scarlet, who's already terrible day was becoming more and more terrible as time went on.
http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest2.jpg
See, Sephiroth's little stint with the meteor not only cost Scarlet her job and her home, but it also lost her car, which was the last thing she could cling onto for sanity. After that whole incident where she got slapped out on the Sister Ray by the righteous bitch Tifa, she kinda let go of herself, and gained a few pounds. She dyed her hair brown to try to make herself look more beautiful, but that wasn't terribly effective either. But anyway, back to the story. So, after losing her car, Scarlet was right pissed...So she...err...Built a bridge over the water and...walked chickens over it.
http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest4.jpg
Damn it. Guess I'm out of the running

Today on Jerry Springer...

"A distraut mother is here today because she wants to show the world what a sleezebag her "boyfriend" is. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome to the show, Miss Miriel Earth, otherwise known as Mother Earth."

*music plays*

"Welcome Mother, How's it going?"
"How do you ****in' think it's goin' you muther****er?!"
"Sounds good, now, let's hear your story"

"Anything to show the world what a ****in' douchebag this guy is. I have some pictures too. Anyway, here's what happened.

I was distraut. Crying. A lot. I was in a lot of pain. All of a sudden this man comes. He sweet talks me. Ohhhh did he sweet talk me. Next thing we know, he's shoving his rod in my hole.

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest1.jpg

That's right. He stick his little worm in there and jerked around a bit. Probably hoping that by the end of the night he would be able to smell the fish in the air. We fell asleep in each others arms, and when I woke up, he wasn't there! Pissed off as I was, I decided to turn on the TV, hoping some Family Feud would cheer me up. Next thing you know, Amateur Slumber Party VIII is on, and I see this guy riding someone else! He's going as fast as he can, then BAM everything is wet and smelly and it looks like he's having the time of his life!

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest2.jpg

But oh nononono, I wasn't gonna give up that easily! I would make sure he lived the rest of his life in misery. So I hired some goons to catch him and send him off to an empty farm alongside John Kerry. No one would be able to last there!

http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest3.jpg

Triumphant that I had finally succeeded at having revenge on that scum, I set off for work. I drove accross the bridge, and what do I see?


http://www.geocities.com/floydsarmy/contest4.jpg

HIS CHILDREN! Looks like the cock was working overtime there. I felt bad for the women there. She let him take advantage of her, and now she's left with a dozen children and no one to pay child support. These kids will probably end up on the streets. The women will probably grow up to be hookers, giving up their breast to the first poacher they see, and the boys will end up being cocks like their father.

I WARN ALL YOU WOMEN OUT THERE! DON'T BE TAKEN IN BY SUCH A FOOL! HE IS A SLEEZEBAG! DON'T LET HIM TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU! STAND UP TO HIM!

http://i2.:bou::bou::bou::bou::bou::...ou:/risujd.jpg

This week was a tough choice.

Of course Psychotic is the winner.

OH, WAIT! His check didn't clear the bank. Old Manus is the winner of a not so new and not really shiny copy of FFIII!

I win so hard.

That was a good story. :)