Funny Insults

Okay, what are some of the hilarious insults and stuff you use in jokes and stuff?

Obviously, really bad offensive ones arent allowed...

I like to use big words and fancy language XD

Like so...

"you intellectually challenged ignoramus"

"Silence, peon, I grow weary of this impertinence, so we shall we abscond this little matter?"

"Stop your caustic savoir-faire, you mentally defective overly gushing silicone implant." <-- The guy was laughing so hard when I said that one :p he couldnt breath

"This just proves you need to ascertain something pragmatic."

"I find you to be very meretricious, compared to aplatitudinous a moiety pee." <-- my friend said that, sounds a bit off

I replied "Your imprudence is convivial"

Okay, thats it for now, you guys got any hilarious ones? XD

"Your mom" always tops my list.

Yeah, I often counter with that, it all depends on the timing :P

Out of 10,000 sperm, you had to be the quickest.

I will usually use big words in real life. Online, it usually won't go farther than "Your stupid dumbface is.....dumb!!"

I don't ever get into a fight or something to use insults. Yet if I did, I either do the same as you, using big words, or making mom jokes.

I just formed this new one XD

Your fallacious asseverations only beguile the veridical cretins of the macrocosm

I still think "Oh My Goth" is the cleverist thing that ever left a Chavs mouth

u sux imo

With ya old (insert food or object) head ass.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

You may look like an idiot, and talk like an idiot, but that isn't fooling anyone. You really are an idiot.

Some of my favorites are in Latin :D :

Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem - In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris - If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.

YOUR FACE!

[leeza]*snip*

Not funny. ~ Leeza[/leeza]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SammieBabe

Some of my favorites are in Latin :D :

Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem - In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.

Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris - If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar.

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Those are awesome :p

I want to learn some norwegian ones...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Flying Mullet

"Your mom" always tops my list.

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Mine is..
"Your mom is a french wh^ore"
"Oh yeah, You noticed?"
"What?"
"The only way to insult my mom is by saying nice things about her"
"You're mother is a kind and loving person?"
"That's a lie and you know it!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Being Retarded

Out of 10,000 sperm, you had to be the quickest.

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Oh that's rich.

Here's to Captain Bender: He's the best... at being a big jerk who's stupid and his big ugly face is as dumb as a butt!

Yeah, the thing is, I don't generally insult people because I'm too nice for my own good. :( I only really insult jokingly, like when I call Dan an emo j-rocker who sobs on his Chester Bennington poster and how he's not str8 sw0le. Or if I'm feeling uninspired to think up something mildly burnsauce-ish, a "your mom" or "your face" works.

i think more direct language works better for insulting someone.

From Victor Meldrew:

"I'm sorry, what language are you speaking in, it appears to be complete bollocks!"

Eest, yeah, I know what you mean, in serious insulting, as in fights and stuff, you will not hear that fancy crap...

My friend and I use that kind of talk to make others feel dumb, theres a few people we really pick on, friendly of course, and its really funny..

At school, i was much more of an "In your face" insulter..in fact among certain people, I was known as the King of Insults -_-

"Your face seems to resemble that of an oversized horses anus."

'Ya mum' comebacks always win.

*Excuse me I thought I was staring at your ass, but I guess it's just your face.
*You look like who did it and ran. (Classic right there)
*I don't know what's worst, listening to you ramble on, or your stank breath.
*You are ugly, on the outside and inside.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Reine

.

My friend and I use that kind of talk to make others feel dumb, theres a few people we really pick on, friendly of course, and its really funny..

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yes, friendly, of course.
It's all in good sport.

I always want to go off on some Dr. Cox style rant, but it doesn't always work.

I like the one Reine had as his message before.

It was in dutch, I think it said "You bore me, fool" or something like that.

My personal favorite.

"Oh, go play in traffic!"

"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"

My favourites : You pure~ Bawbag, Dobber. I'l totally deck you or I'l totally stab you MAN! Ned's don't you just love them. :love:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jebus

Here's to Captain Bender: He's the best... at being a big jerk who's stupid and his big ugly face is as dumb as a butt!

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Hah. :)

Damn it, I was going to change my sig theme to Phoenix Wright. So, Agent Proto is Phoenix Wright, and you're Miles Edgeworth? Who's left for me - von Karma!?

Your witty antiphons have the of a 2 year old banging on an iron wall.

You know those car insurance commercials where the cars usually get into an auto accident? Well, after watching one with my brothers, I said to my brother, "You know, that could happen to you..." Then I paused for a second. "...Oh wait, that did happen to you!"

What's funny about it is that he was in an accident just a few days ago, so my statement was true.

"I refuse to have a batlle of wits against the unarmed!"

you're gay! LOL

It's funny because I'm gay.

poser :p

Hmmm...

"Oh your god!"
"What in heavens?"
"Do you know that I'm now estuans interius ira vehemeti?"

Quote:

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"Oh your god!"

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LMAO

Please lend me your face, I have to do a poor figure.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Reine

I want to learn some norwegian ones...

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You've come to the right place, my friend.

Du er så stygg når du smiler.
Du ligner litt på Høgger'n fra Vazelina Bilopphøggers.
Håper du få syv døtre og bare et baderom.
Tenna dine er som stjerner, gule og langt fra hverandre.
Respektere deg i morgen tidlig? Slapp av, jeg respekterer deg ikke en gang nå...
Morgenfugler er ekle dyr!
Jeg er en av de få kvinner som får gutter til å skjelve i knærne og klatre i trærne. (Jeg er en kvinnelig bilist).

This one isn't an insult, but I loves it. :mog:

I går kjørte jeg over en mann. Han sa det var hans feil, for han var blitt overkjørt før.

Translation:
1. You're ugly when you're smiling.
2. You kinda look like "Høgger'n" from "Vazelina Bilopphøggers". Link
3. I hope you get 7 daughters and only one bathroom.
4. Your teeth are like the stars! Yellow and far away from eachother...
5. Respect you tomorrow morning? Relax, I don't even respect you now.
6. Earlybirds are the ugliest animals.
7. I'm one of few women that can make males climb trees and their knees tremble. (I'm a female driver.) This insult only works on women, obviously.

This isn't an insult, but still funnay:

I ran over a man yesterday with my car. He told me it was his fault, because he had been hit by a car before.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Levian

You've come to the right place, my friend.

Du er så stygg når du smiler.
Du ligner litt på Høgger'n fra Vazelina Bilopphøggers.
Håper du få syv døtre og bare et baderom.
Tenna dine er som stjerner, gule og langt fra hverandre.
Respektere deg i morgen tidlig? Slapp av, jeg respekterer deg ikke en gang nå...
Morgenfugler er ekle dyr!
Jeg er en av de få kvinner som får gutter til å skjelve i knærne og klatre i trærne. (Jeg er en kvinnelig bilist).

This one isn't an insult, but I loves it. :mog:

I går kjørte jeg over en mann. Han sa det var hans feil, for han var blitt overkjørt før.

Translation:
1. You're ugly when you're smiling.
2. You kinda look like "Høgger'n" from "Vazelina Bilopphøggers". Link
3. I hope you get 7 daughters and only one bathroom.
4. Your teeth are like the stars! Yellow and far away from eachother...
5. Respect you tomorrow morning? Relax, I don't even respect you now.
6. Earlybirds are the ugliest animals.
7. I'm one of few women that can make males climb trees and their knees tremble. (I'm a female driver.) This insult only works on women, obviously.

This isn't an insult, but still funnay:

I ran over a man yesterday with my car. He told me it was his fault, because he had been hit by a car before.

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How do you say treeslut? I forgot. ;_____;

I'll be nicer if you'll be less of an idiot.
So when's the wizard getting back to you about that brain? (my fav. t-shirt:D)

'Your mother' combined with the local accent creates 'ew muffa' which is both hilarious insult and agonising put-down

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rye

How do you say treeslut? I forgot. ;_____;

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Klatretøs :D climbingslut. Your memory is amazing, I must've told you this like 2 years ago.

Thanks Levian XD

Its sad that I have norwegian blood, but know almost nothing of the language..