poor kid.

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05-10-2006, 11:30 PM
Denmark

poor kid.

So I was mowing the lawn today on our sweet riding mower thingy and when I finished I happened to look down and see the safety warning label (ROTATING CUTTING BLADE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS DO NOT TOUCH WHILE OPERATING etc.). Below this foreboding warning was an adult figure calmly riding a lawnmower figure and running over and thusly dismembering a child figure. It was sick and funny at the same time.

So describe some outlandish warning sign you've seen. Preferential treatment should be given to those you've actually seen in real life, not just on the internet. I want factual information, consarn it.
05-10-2006, 11:33 PM
DeathKnight

NYC trains have these retarted warnings:

-Don't lean on doors (guy leaning on door-side view-) But EVERYONE leans on them.
05-10-2006, 11:33 PM
Cz

The "No crowdsurfing" signs at gig venues are good for a laugh, since the stick figures always look at if they're having so much fun. :D
05-10-2006, 11:35 PM
Venom

Those dont stand on the grass signs, I stand on em and its not like I get shot to death or nothin.
05-10-2006, 11:37 PM
Lenna

Haha, the best warning sign ever: In Game the other day.

For FFXI 360 XBox version :

"WARNING: ONLINE ONLY GAME"

After seeing so many people joke about the fact it's online before it I cracked up after seeing it :p
05-10-2006, 11:38 PM
I Took the Red Pill

My uncle has a "Slow kids at play" sign across from his house. At first I thought there were slow (mentally challenged) kids playing across the street, but then I realized the meaning of it. Just goes to show how important punctuation is.
05-12-2006, 01:00 AM
Bart's Friend Milhouse

back when i was about eight we used to go to the hypermarket and the trolleys (pushcarts) used to have three don'ts and one do. The images had pictures where kids shouldn't be standing and where they should be sitting. I believe the best of the wrong places to stand was on the end of the trolley. Had most of the shopping be placed at the end of the trolley we would have toppled over
05-12-2006, 01:02 AM
Bowser

I like the window screen warning labels. They have a child falling out of a window. :whimper:
05-12-2006, 01:34 AM
Anaisa

Quote:

Originally Posted by mobiletype

back when i was about eight we used to go to the hypermarket and the trolleys (pushcarts) used to have three don'ts and one do. The images had pictures where kids shouldn't be standing and where they should be sitting. I believe the best of the wrong places to stand was on the end of the trolley. Had most of the shopping be placed at the end of the trolley we would have toppled over

I used to stand in all those positions they said not to on the trolley, and it never toppled over. Even when me and two of my other siblings were all on it, each in one of the apparently dangerous positions! This is a very poor photo: http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i1...ittlesigns.jpgBut you should be able to make out on the first sign a little stick man falling over a baby buggy. But that's not the worst of it! He's also landed in a position whereby he's drop kicking the baby in the face! So I think this sign is a warning that if you block the aisle with your buggy, somebody will drop kick your baby! And the second picture illustrates what will happen if you don't hold onto the hand rails available. If you don't use the hand rails provided....your neck will disappear, and your head will be left floating in mid air above your body!
05-12-2006, 01:43 AM
-N-

http://www.jalopnik.com/cars/family_crossing_sign.jpg
Road sign on highways near the US-Mexico border. :D
05-12-2006, 02:14 AM
Anaisa

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neel Hates Clout's Guts

http://www.jalopnik.com/cars/family_crossing_sign.jpg
Road sign on highways near the US-Mexico border. :D

I'm debating whether that sign is caution illegal immigrants, or caution hunchback child snatchers.
05-12-2006, 09:16 AM
Bart's Friend Milhouse

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anaisa

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neel Hates Clout's Guts

http://www.jalopnik.com/cars/family_crossing_sign.jpg
Road sign on highways near the US-Mexico border. :D

I'm debating whether that sign is caution illegal immigrants, or caution hunchback child snatchers.

nah it's caution if your kid is late for school she will get her heart sliced out
05-12-2006, 09:53 AM
GhandiOwnsYou

According to Carlos Mensia, it's a man, running away from his wife because she's to slow. and/or a man and a woman with their midget friend following behind.

a few of my favorites would have to be...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...concussion.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...ou/nodrink.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...htningbolt.jpg
05-12-2006, 12:41 PM
Chris

Well, there's this huge cardboard sign outside town that reads: "Do not stand here unless you like Star Wars." I am not kidding! But since I love Star Wars, I'm off the hook. :D
05-12-2006, 01:22 PM
Mo-Nercy

A friend of mine sent me a text file filled with this stuff. I shall paste it.

Quote:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
05-13-2006, 12:58 AM
Giga Guess

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mo-Nercy

A friend of mine sent me a text file filled with this stuff. I shall paste it.

Quote:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Lawl. Just....lawl.