This is a sarcastic response thread. The rules are, a user asks a question in relation to Final Fantasy (preferably a stupid one) and another user may respond with a smart alec-y comment.
For example:
User # 1 asks stupidly, "Why did Square make Final Fantasy?"
User # 2 responds sarcastically, "Because there was no more soup left."
Okay so to begin:
Why did Square change Yuna's outfit to something skimpier?
Because then they wouldn't have to pull up her shirt to give her a Pink Belly.
Why are moogles white?
If they'd made moogles colored, the teletubbies would go on rampage.Quote:
Originally Posted by corncracker
How can cactuars throw 1,000 needles and they still have their needles?
Because they have extreme needle-regrowth rate.
Why are the FFVII and FFIX chocobos painted in different colours?
Because they would simply clash if they were the same colour darling.
Why is Rikku annoying?
Because they needed someone to cancel out Tidus. It didn't work.Quote:
Originally Posted by ~SapphireStar~
Why does the Black Belt wear baby blue sweat pants.
because he touches himself at night
what is tifa's bra size?
Sexy.
Why is it never night?
Because that would be a financial disaster to the inns.Quote:
Originally Posted by corncracker
How many hours does Cloud need to set up his hair early in the morning?
As many as Lulu needs to apply double sided sticky tape to her dress and breasts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sephiroth1999AD
Why didnt Garnet get a professional to cut her hair?
because they cost to much =D
why is blitzballl played underwater?
To sufficate players that screw up.
Why does Galuf have to pay to sleep at the inn in his own castle?
I'll do mooglegirl608's one as it was before Snap Jumpers who was answering Sephiroth1999ADs.
Cause playing on land is sooooooooooooooooooo 1000 years ago.Quote:
Originally Posted by mooglegirl608
Why doesnt Lulu sell her teddies on Ebay?
Because Vidina want to play with it.
Why does Wakka's hair stay perfect?
because hes a witch and his hairs so horrible that the water stays away from it when he plays blitzball.
and just to be nice to snap jumper
Why does Galuf have to pay to sleep at the inn in his own castle?
because if he didn't he'd have to install coin-operated bathrooms :D
Why does wakka say "Ya" all the time?
Because he's an optimist and saying "No" would make him sound like a pessimist.
What are the red spots on moogles' heads?
Cause pink would look silly :D
Why does Vincent wear clown shoes?
to finish off the dark look
why do squall and seifer hate each other?
because they were dating the same man at high school
Why does Garnet look so silly wearing orange?
because princesses wear pink tutus
why does rikku do a striptease in X?
Cause she is a skank with no financial income.
Why does Tidus moan alot?
Because his voice actor was getting his toes licked by a dog.
Why is Sin so big?
Because he ate too many Chocoboes when he was a kid.
Why does Yuna's voice mess up in FFX when she says a short sentence ("okay", "yes" etc)?
She was dying for the bathroom so she said them quickly!
Why doesnt Zidane put a nice big pink ribbon on his tail?
Because that's Eiko's favorite nice, big, pink ribbon.
Why does Amarant have dreadlocks?
because he hasn't had access to a hairbrush in 8 years.
What happened to the front of Eiko's dress?
Nothing, because she's not really wearing a dress. It's all an optical illusion.
Why are Kuja's hips so wide?
Because he's actually Shakira in disguise (sorry, couldn't resist :D).
If Final Fantasy IX was a movie with live actors, how many times would Squaresoft have to shoot the scene when Steiner swings himself right through the wall?
so many times that they'd go broke.
Why are the main femaes of most of the FFs wimps?
that's self explanatory... they're girls!
Why can Edward survive so much crap outside of battle, but die so easily in battle?
THE JACKEL
cause he's all talk no action
Why is cloud's hair so spikey
Cause Ben Stiller from Theres Something About Mary gave him an idea for never-ending hair-gel.
Why is Lulu gothic?
He fights by headbutting whenever he forgets his sword :p
Why does Umaro use your allies as weapons?
Because he's Bigfoot, and doesn't know how to get some for himself. :/Quote:
Originally Posted by cl_out
Why didn't Square continue on with the Moombas after FVIII?
because all they can say is "Laguna!" and there ain't no Laguna in other FFs.
wqhy did Square make Rufus' shotgun look like a long-barreled psitol in AC?
Cause they think he's "manly". You know what i'm talking about!!
Why does Zidane have a tail
Can someone answer my question please? cl_out answered the same question as me and now people are ignoring my post.
Why is Lulu gothic?
watch the last 10 minutes of Spaceballs and you will knowQuote:
Originally Posted by Eminem's_No.1_Fan
she was beaten by her parents as a child and now hates humanityQuote:
Originally Posted by ~SapphireStar~
why are Cloud's clothes purple in-game yet navy in cinematics?
Were they?because I thought they werre black in cinematics and blue in-game.
why do Square put hippos and rats in FFIX?
becuase...and thats why. dont ask again.
how did ward get so big?
He ate :moomba: as a child. ;_;Quote:
Originally Posted by boys from the dwarf
How come Quina don't know what her/his sexuality is? :(
Because Quina didn't have sexual organ.
Why did Edea make-up her face too much?
to hide her wrinkles.(you could've guessed her age,but she'll strike me with shards of ice so I'm not telling)
Does Kiros have stiff bones in his body?
Only when he's junctioned a GF called "Clumsy Skeleton X-150".
When fighting (SPOILER)Exdeath in his tree form at the end of FFV, why doesn't anyone just huff and puff and chop the tree down with an axe?
Cause they couldnt find an axe that big in time.
Why do moogles always have to finish a sentence with Kupo?
because giving them sounds similar to chocobos will clash them.
why did the battle with Sephiroth human form take only 1 minute(including Omnislash scene)?
because Sephiroth sucks
why didn't the people of Cosmo Canyon just use a soft on Seto?
Cloud: Soft potions! I'm not made of Soft Potions!
Why did they make X-2?
So they can make Vin Deisel the main character in the next game; x3. Which will play a lot like GTA
What ever happened to moombas?
Because i told them too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuffie the Dragon Ninja
Oh yay i just love sarcasm. Can lulu's dresses get any lower cut )ffx-x2 in case you don't know)?
Yuna_wannabe, you were suppose to answer bippers question. Gawd.
They were becoming rare and were shipped off to a secret location to get mating :DQuote:
Originally Posted by bipper
Why does Auron have a scar?
EDIT: @Yuna_wannabe: Then dont post if you havent got a clue or at least make something up.
yes but i have nooo sweet clue what moobas are so it would have ended up being "...your mom"
anyway...because of a battle with...sin :confused:
Can lulu's Dress get any lower cut!!!?!?!
Yes it could ...
How did Yuna's mum die?
cause you sat on her?
whats the point of "yunas story"/ffx-2?
Not even funny Yuna_wannabe. And I dont care if this is meant to be sarcastic, dont you dare make any comments towards my weight again understand?
There was no point.Quote:
whats the point of "yunas story"/ffx-2?
Why do some members chose to use FF character names in their forum names?
because they like the characters a little tooo much if you know what a mean
why is shelinda in ffx and x2?
Because she knew the second one wouldnt be as good so she tried to make herself look good by acting in a bad one.
Why does Riona like Squall
Cause hes hot! Who wouldnt?!
Why doesnt Tifa date anyone?
Because her breasts got in the way.
Why does Square have a Cid in almost every Final Fantasy?
Cause a guy called Cid will shoot them if they dont put him in
Why is AVALANCHE called AVALANCHE
Because Colorado won the cup that year.
How does Bugenhagen float?
HahaQuote:
Originally Posted by Griff
He floats using constant gas from his rear end
Do the women of FF shave their private areas, and for that matter, do the men?
THE JACKEL
No, they would but the budget was too low to animate in private parts to shave.
Why is Quina so damn sexy?
because they wanted to have people liking cartoons!
why does brother like his cousin?
Cause he cant get it anywhere else.
Why is Laguna annoying, yet charming?
He's a loser, and charming because of the subliminal messaging in the game convincing teh weak minded this is really a good game. I will never fall for the subliminal messaging!
Why doesn't Rydia get the attention her sexy self deserves?
Because Heidegger is far sexier.
Why does Chaos have a chicken in his stomach?
because he was hungry.
why does tidus look like meg ryan?
We all should have chicken in our stomach, chicken tastes awesome!Quote:
Originally Posted by DJZen
Why does the known final boss of a game always change with a stupid plot twist?
THE JACKEL
but but what about meg ryan...
Simple./ Because Meg ryan sued Square because cloud had her old hairstyle (*this was a SECRET hairstyle) and so they promised her a part in an upcoming FF, which just so happened to be X
Why does cloud have to be so angsty in AC?
OOC: New rule to this thread. You may post only once in every ten posts.
Because he was hoping to take Kurt Cobain's place in Nirvana.
Why does Kefka insist on crossdressing?
cuz he wanted to do it b4 kuja steals it
why is FINAL fantasy still going
but there is never a FINAL Final Fantasy
What is underneath Vivi's hat?
...that's not a hat.
how come only the first ffs to be released on a new console (ff7,ffx) get sequels?
Because people who buy games on hype are suckers for more hype.
Why does Tidus look like Shuyin?
To mess with your head! MWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*Ahem*
Why does Irvine like the ladies?
because he's hiding the fact that hes gay
whos hotter Rikku or Yuffie
Whoever has the fire materia equipped. (Rikku)
Why is Dark Cloud shirtless?
Because it was a hot day.
Why do Thorn and Zorn speak in rhymes?
Because they're really rapping. :rolleyes2
Why does Siren play a harp?
Because guitar lessons were just too expensive.
What happened to Ramza Beoulve's nose?
When Ramza and Alma were children, they were playing "I got your nose!" Alma turned her class into a Thief and stole poor Ramza's nose.
Why does the Spoon in FFIV do 9999 damage?
Spoons are actually deadly weapons in the FF world. Have you ever seen anyone in FF eating with kitchen utensils (excluding Quina - she's a bit of a risk-taker).
Why does Carbuncle's ruby extend in FFVIII/IX... (I forget which)?
Because..... your mom!
(Sorry. I had too XD)
What sort of hair gel do Cloud and Sepiroth use?
Chocobo blood.
How come Laguna never came back for Julia?
Because he was doing Raine and forgot about her until Kiros refreshed his memory.
Besides singing,what on earth are the similarities between Yuna and Lenne?
They use the same plastic surgeon.
Why doesn't Rikku work as a whore?
because fanboys arent that lucky
why does zell like hot dogs so much?
He eats lots of hot dogs to get back at the dog that scarred his cheek.
Which FF would Culex (from Super Mario RPG) fit in most and why?
Culex wouldn't fit at all, because there is no such character in existence.
Why does Cloud try to mate the chocobos?
cause he likes hot chocobo action
why arent their any black moogles
Because licorice Moogles aren't a popular flavor. :rolleyes2
Why does Leblanc call people 'Loves'? :heart:
He wants in their pants.
Do I have a chance with Rydia?
Grow a few inches taller and check back later.
Why does Rude not grow any hair?
He uses his bald head for signaling his secret moogle co-workers.
Why didn't Cloud just stab Aeris himself?
He usually pokes her with something else.
Why is Cat Sith a robot?
because he's controlled by a ultra long distance toy plane remote controller.
How many grenades does Laguna keep in his body?