Alas, this thread is going to be about one being extremely formal in their posts, which means no contractions, using outdated words (such as alas), and whatnot.
Let one begin with being extremely formal.
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Alas, this thread is going to be about one being extremely formal in their posts, which means no contractions, using outdated words (such as alas), and whatnot.
Let one begin with being extremely formal.
Hast thou lost thine nerve? Such strands of yarn such as this is surely to
be abandoned. I am how do they say, pulling your leg. *chuckles*
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Originally Posted by Translated
It's an adorable kitten!!
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Originally Posted by Translated
Truly!?
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Originally Posted by Translated
Thou hast already broken thine rule of "no contractions."Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeromus_X
It is an adorable kitten!!
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Originally Posted by Translated
Such blatant impertinence. This is to be taken most seriously. However one must consider the nature of such forums. Therefore, such formalities are henceforth, useless
Wouldnt you agree dear sir? :holmes:
Have thou nothing better to do than to make an extremely formal thread? Woe is me! Go on, experience the stupendous joys of life! Let us not waste such precious time squandering around on foolish forums, no sir!
Duckletts once upon will swim upon the water that may be thoud for our life of thyn hast.
Translated:
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Duckies swam in the water of life.
There's not enough booze.
My good sir, it would appear that thou hast forgotten the rule of "no contractions," it seems. Or hast thou simply ignored it? Either way, thou must correct thy incorrectness.Quote:
There's not enough booze
However, I must disagree with thee and point out that more "booze," as thou called it, would do naught but impede our attempts at a formal conversation. Thus, it is therefore realized that beverages of an alcoholic nature should be therby kept from this thread of formality, else we would otherwise violate the rules of this thread, thus making it thereby ruined.
Indeed.
No. There's still not enough booze.Quote:
Originally Posted by vorpal blade
:holmes:
Sir it would be great if the banana trees stopped swinging over to take the beer. You know why the banana tree does this? It's because your monkey keeps leaving it next to it! BANANA TREES ARE GREEDY ALCOHOLICS EVERYONE KNOWS OF THIS!
Very good. Carry on, carry on.
Truly, I find this thread unorthodox, bordering on bizarre. I find it almost....disturbing not to see leet-speak, or horrific grammatical errors wherever I rest my eyes.
Unorthodox or not, one must find it somewhat amusing to see thy people speaking in a language that has died out forevermore, thus being formal has become obsolete. However, through becoming obsolete it becomes extremely funny, one may say.Quote:
Originally Posted by Giga Guess
How art thou, my good friends? I was just lounging in the household of mine when some people came up to me and said angrily, "Alas, my good friend, that is not at all any good!"
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Originally Posted by Translated
Being formal is for people who aren't not formal most of the time but don't not want to be formal anyways.
Why, my dear Maxx Power, do we not want to act formal even once in our lives? Formality is a necessity in a place where even the basic rules of Queen's English are not abided by. This is a sanctuary from the unorthodox hordes banging on the gates of our country tennis club. *sips Darjeeling tea*Quote:
Originally Posted by Maxx Power
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Originally Posted by Translated
Greetings of the day, gentle forum acquaintances. Might I suggest that we all engage the most wholesome activity of inserting our phalanges into our nasal passages in order to extract the wonderous mucus that lies within?
My, my, how... unorthodox.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
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Originally Posted by Translated
WERD :cool:
A graceless hillock arose too near mine town center... No wonder thou wert victorious! I shalt abdicate.
Good day to you, sirs. Might I enquire as to how you are all feeling, and so forth, and what have you? I daresay that this conversational interlude should be most compelling.
:monocle:
sorry I'm English
LOL you're all gay.
One could verily say that the matter of homosexuality does not, nor shall not, have effect on this conversation of most formal nature. Your bringing of this matter before us, though applying perhaps to some gentle men or ladies within our presence, surely is not a requirement of gentle antiquated conversation, and shows only poor boorish character and an affinity for contractions which has previously been noted to be of poor taste within this most noble of circles.
Bleh. As I said a few posts back; there is a noticable shortage of alcohol.Quote:
Originally Posted by SocietyzAntidote
But my good sir, I am currently consuming spirits of the highest alcoholic content. It aids in releasing the inner gentlemen.
Sir drunkymonkey, if you do not cease in your deluded rambling then I shall have to call Jeeves to escort you from the premises. There is nothing gentlemanly about consuming an excess of alcohol. But, one must daintly sip some sherry with the vicar for politeness' sake at afternoon tea in the vicarage garden.
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Originally Posted by Translation
OMG. Lots of people get drunk, but I suppose you are right. Can I at least have a 'nana to happily chew on lovingly?Quote:
Originally Posted by starseeker
It would behoove the dastardly residents of this formal thread to refrain themselves from making such barbaric references of thine spirits which most assuredly are deserving of a more proper terminology than the very quaint "booze". For shame!
This thread has gotten out of control... and such and whatnot and soforth.
This would, indeed, have to be the most gratifying and delightful threads one has seen posted in said forum for many a day!
I would just like to add that my partner speaks with gentlemanly wisdom in such words often - indeed, he never uses a few words when many suffice, thereby bringing his unique brand of culture to the Antipides.
Well, I for one like eggs. I hope that most of you feel the same way as I because they are quite delectable.
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Originally Posted by Mum
Why dearest Mum, what would this world be but a hollow shell, if it were not for this unique brand of culture. Truly, though, this is greatly amusing to unleash my true eloquence, at least to a far greater extent than I would in my true mannerisms.
Alright, alright, I got off the booze part (God you people are impossible) but I an't speaking like I got a fork up my nether regions.Quote:
Originally Posted by fantasyjunkie
Can I have a banana or not?
My good fellow, you have not only used a contracted word, a practice that has several times within this thread been pointed out as ineloquent, you have also misspelled it, leading me to believe that your nether regions require several forks in them. And should there be no forks nearby, might I suggest placing your banana up there instead?Quote:
Alright, alright, I got off the booze part (God you people are impossible) but I an't speaking like I got a fork up my nether regions.
If I was asking for a banana, it's obvious that I don't have in my vicinity a banana! God, you can speak all posh if you like, but it doesn't make you smarter!Quote:
Originally Posted by vorpal blade
And 'ain't' ain't a contracted word! It's a brilliant word!
Brilliance perhaps to the most heathen of beasts. In my own most humble of personal opinions, undaunted by neither history nor fear of rejection and ridicule by my fellow men, I surmise that user "Vorpal Blade" hath posted the most astoundingly humorous series of eloquent words that the eyes of men have ever had the fortune to see. Both my cerebellum and my torso shake with great quakes of racous joy, almost as if I had partaken in too much of this poorly worded "booze" which has been spoken of, even though verily I had not!
It's elementary, my dear Watson!
Why, good chap, I find that particularly amusing.Quote:
Originally Posted by SocietyzAntidote
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Originally Posted by Translation
I can lend you some if you'd like?Quote:
Originally Posted by SocietyzAntidote
I have found this forum to be quite amusing, and of its ability to make jest of the hideous fact that we, as a society in large, have neglected the roots... No, I daresay, the most poetic and thoughtful, the most expressionistic, striking, and most eloquent method of speech. Why have we sent such a glory to the realms of oblivion, my good and dear sirs and ladies? What wrong have committed, and a heinous act not unto a higher, supreme being, but to that of ourselves? Why have we partaken of this terrible degradation of our linguisitic and communal aspects?
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Translated:
I have found this forum to be highly amusing. Whatever happened to the speech that we once so often spoke? Why and where has it gone, my friends?
If one knew the answer to that, one would know the underlying answer of many a problem in this sad world of ours. Verily hast thou spoken against the human race, and verily is thee right in doing so, for the heavens hath never intended for our means of conversing to digress to such primitive levels, but to remain eloquent. A covenant that was made long ago by our forefathers, that we hath so readily forgotten. It is as if the poisoned tongue that we converse in today was fated to be as such, and is fated to digress further, following the natural path of existence.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nominus Experse
Fellows, it occurs to me that we are in an age of relaxation, where one mas machines to do work that once was ours. Thus, mankind grew lazy, and this laziness spread. As a result, not only has man attempted to exert no more physical energy than is needed, man has also attempted to exert no more mental energy than is needed at the time. Thus, words are shortened, contracted, misspelled, and rendered obsolete after years of nonuse. That is to say, gentlemen, that people today are unfortunately too lazy to speak like normal human beings like ourselves. They instead say only what is necessary to communicate, often resorting to nothing more than grunts and growls, the sort one would expect from mere animals.
Vorpal Blade, I believe you are onto something. It would appear according to your theory that while our technology may continue to progress to extents never imagined by those eons ago, our lack of mentally applying ourselves would seem to imply that we are digressing back to that from whence we came. The first of mankind to have populace on this earth spoke in the tongue of the animal, with no more than grunts and growls as a way to communicate. Since that is where we are heading currently, it would appear that we most certainly are returning to the mental state from whence we first originated. Oh dear. This means I must find people that are of the same mental application as me, else I lose my sanity. Anything less would be no better than the depths of hell. I must now entreat ye to find men of this calibur. Godspeed to all ye who seek the light and the way of truth.
OOC: I didn't realise formal ment Shakespeare.
Good lord. Do I spy with mine eyes the spam? Oh, thine head no hair, beloved spammies. For whither the spam wanders, so dost the Resha. She, fair lady, attracted to the pungent fragrance of such beautiful philanderings doth skip gaily to the place of ceremony. She hath arrived. Greetings, good fellows. Well met and hail!
I had a cuppa with the QUEEEEN today. Like, yeah, totally. Seriously. I mean, yeah.
That's exactly what I was thinking.Quote:
Originally Posted by Craig
My good sir, Mister William Shakespeare created some of the most beautiful and eloquent words in thine engliah language. Verily, we must speak the good language in all of our days, so to not become lazy and sloppy in our writings.Quote:
Originally Posted by drunkymonkey
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Originally Posted by Translated
Yes, but Shakespearean language is not a necessity to sound formal.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuffie the Dragon Ninja
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Originally Posted by translated
You may be correct, however, we must pay tribute to one of the greatest and most eloquent writers of our history.Quote:
Originally Posted by drunkymonkey
I concur with that assessment to the fullest extent. In fact, a few others and myself were saying just that only a few posts ago. We were talking about how sad it was that this form of conversing is considered old-fashioned and not accustomed to the existence that we carry out today. Oh, if only one could return to the time in which this tongue was commonplace. One could find oneself conversing with beings of the human race that were much more intelligent and affluent in demeanor. That thine mouth must be used to speak the profane tongue of today is sheer blasphemy. How my tongue aches with sorrow from the sad state that the world is in. When one is so lazy with thine speech that the letters "lol" must be substituted for laugh out loud. That "btw" is the replacement for by the way. Oh, how pathetic our world truly is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuffie the Dragon Ninja
I concur with the above statement.
Alas, our society is quite frequented by masses of people who seek to reduce the length of their conversation as much as they are physically able. By speaking in those cursed "Ebonics", with little or no regard to enunciation or even the number of syllables present in a proper english word, it seems they believe they can hasten the course which they run to, hither and thither, pointlessly running needless errands which they use as excuses to hasten an end to polite conversation. If only once I could hear the word hello, enunciated clearly with over dramatic tone or a humorous tinge. Truely, my ears only percieve the bastardizations of "yo" or "ello" or even further extensions of "what's up" which in itself is ironic, consisting of equal syllables and a greater number of letters and words than a proper greeting would entail.
Good day my fellow fellows. I would like propose a toast to the initiator of this completely delightful and ingenious online assemblage of eloquent english, Monsieur tan. Good health and prosperity! I say, jolly good! :up: :up:
I'm not paying tribute to a guy I had to study for three bloody years...Quote:
Originally Posted by Yuffie the Dragon Ninja
And why dost thou say this? While it is verily true that Shakespeare can be somewhat zealous in his works, and exaggerate certain items to the point where they ar ludicrous, and at times reading his works can be less exciting than most anything you will find on this Earth, he truly is a great man. A masterful writer who hast verily set the standard for theatrical works and classical writing. I do readily wish that I was birthed into his time period, for the eloquent speech that was used in such times, is enough to swoon even the mightiest of men. For the romantic tongue of that time, is most appealing to mine ears.
I believe that for dinner we shall have a rare african monkey that has been fed the finest liquers, as a result of which, he made such a ruckus, that roasting him in madiera sherry which French truffles is the only way that one will get any peace.
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Originally Posted by Translation
I ain't African. I'm um, Caribbeaan. I don't go down well. Nope.
Verily, the reason for the frustrations in reading his works is primarily due to the fact that none speak like him nowdays. Surely, if his speech were not so antiquated, it would be easier to read and thus more exciting.Quote:
at times reading his works can be less exciting than most anything you will find on this Earth
And yet, we continue to get endless entertainment from conversing in the same manner as men from his time did so. Very intrigueing.
I don't. I scoff at the pure silliness of it.
Such banter is incredulously ridiculous.
"I would like to talk like you people, but has you see, im not english, so I cant talk like you, as much as I liked too..."
I tried..lol
Fear not dear lad, for many denizens who have grown up speaking the language of her most royal majesty have found themselves unable to converse in the dialect of the most prestigious of writers, William Shakespeare. For some, attempting to do so would border on the preternatural. The sacrilegious attempt to classify thine spirits as "booze" is a testimony of the steady decline of the sacrosanctity of the Queen's English. That crime in itself is a viable reason to have someone of that nature or act suffer an acute case of defenestration.Quote:
Originally Posted by Perola
...*finding a translator*Quote:
Originally Posted by fantasyjunkie
It would please me ever so much to get drunk. Alas, I have no such refreshment.
I possess a decent amount of fine french red wine, white wine, and genuine Polish vodka. Let us get the antique wine glasses out, and drink a toast to shakespeare, the greatest writer to walk this earth!Quote:
Originally Posted by Æ¿æƒ2
I will drink to whatever you wish, so long as you provideth me with fine drink! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Yuffie the Dragon Ninja
Lest we forget thee...Quote:
Originally Posted by Giga Guess
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Originally Posted by Sagensyg
Let us drink then *pours fine french red wine into glass, sips.*
Perola is a female.Quote:
Originally Posted by fantasyjunkie
*raises glass, sips* Ah, nothing dost quench the thirst like fine drink with good company.
I wouldst raise my glass to that, if only one would be kind enough to fill it.
Please pardon my inexcusable blunder in mistaking the lovely Perola for anything else than the fairer sex. My mind was clouded by thy forum companians discussing the finer spirits.Quote:
Originally Posted by Xaven
Tis quite undesrtood. The spirits will tend to make one forget himself, in as much as it will tend to make him end the evening entirely nude atop a fine slate billiards table which had been used by previously two gentlemen to play a game of snooker, before the said nude laid himself prone upon it, and entered into his nights slumber.
I fart in your general direction you silly English man
Your father smelt of elderberries!