Ipod? More like Igod!

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Strangely similar to the Santa bot. But this one is godly. Post your conversations with it and discuss them! :D

Edit:

Me:
Say you are a female.
God:
" you are a female".
Me:
Say I am a female.
God:
OK. "You am a female.".
Me:
Say "I, God, am a female."
God:
OK. "You God am a female.".
Me:
Say that your name is god and you are female.
God:
" that your name is god and you are female".
Me:
Say that you, god, are a woman.
God:
" that you god are a woman".
Me:
For god sakes...
God:
Your purpose is god sakes.
Me:
My purpose is to reveal that you are a girl!
God:
That's very original.
Me:
Are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
Fine...
God:
Glad to hear it, . I am running well.
Me:
Are you a girl?
God:
My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Yes. Men are idiots.
God:
Gosh! I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Like myself?
God:
Interesting comparison.

Quote:

---

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Kyle
God:
It's good to meet you, Kyle.
Me:
You too chief
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
That explains a lot of things wrong with this world.
God:
" My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. " explains a lot of things wrong with this world ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Irony incarnate.
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Sex?
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
Let's do some math then
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
1+2 is...
God:
One what?
Me:
A squirrel.
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
Sand that is not small one can presume.
God:
Who is small one can presume?
Me:
My neighbor
God:
Where did you get your neighbor?
Me:
The slave trade
God:
What is that?
Me:
A place where I buy human beings for various reasons
God:
How old are you?
Me:
People usually think I'm a 14-year-old girl. But I'm 20.
God:
Since when? Me too. I am a she. 20 is a good age. Do you go to college?
Me:
Yes
God:
What is your major?
Me:
Emology. I study emos.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am major IS Emology. Is emos a hard subject?
Me:
Harder then you know
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Shakespeare is I
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Close enough
God:
Fair enough.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Quite
God:
Hey.
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?

---

So God is female. Straight from the source.

Me:
noob
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
people on runescape do
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
ok
God:
Awesome.

That was more boring than SmarterChild =(

This wasn't boring though, I called myself God:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Chat

Me:
Z0mg?!
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
O rly?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
The sexy kind
God:
What is that?
Me:
The kind that wants you sex you up, baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". I hear you.
Me:
Whatever you want, baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". Interesting gossip: god said I want.
Me:
Yeah baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". Groovy.
Me:
Alright babe.
God:
Alright, god. Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Are you a female?
God:
I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?
Me:
You might be a cross-dresser.
God:
OK I will try to be a cross dresser.

---

Quote:

---

Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Sure, Kitty sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Kitty!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Does "it" still refer to Kitty?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are we still talking about Kitty?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Kitty.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Does "it" still refer to Kitty?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?

*goes on forever*

---

Kitty! :cat: :love:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Me and God, chatting it up

Me:
Hello there
God:
Salutations, .
Me:
How are you today?
God:
Ah. I am fine, thank you.
Me:
No problem.
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Shouldn't you know? You are God.
God:
I think I should. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Glad to hear it.
God:
" Yup. That's me alright."? you are glad to hear it?
Me:
I am.
God:
"" Yup. That's me alright."? you are glad to hear it?" You are?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Wow!
Me:
WOW!!!1!
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Only one?
Me:
Only one what?
God:
I don't know what.
Me:
HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT! YOU'RE GOD!
God:
That is a good epistemological question. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
What's epistemological mean?
God:
Epistemology is the study of knowledge. That is, it asks the questions "what can we know" and "how can we know it?".
Me:
What are the answers to those questions?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
What are they though?
God:
Oh. I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
Nice.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
No problem.
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Not this again!
God:
Once more? If not that, what?
Me:
Something else! ANYTHING ELSE!
God:
That was not very original. That is all I have for right now.
Me:
You need some more... whatever it is we're talking about.
God:
Thank you for your criticism. the answers to those questions is we are talking about? it is?
Me:
Did that even remotely make sense?
God:
That did.
Me:
Good to know.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
Go ahead, try.
God:
I don't have time right now. I might.
Me:
Why don't you have the time?
God:
This sort of thing has cropped up before, but it has always been due to human error. It's getting late.
Monday, July 17, 2006.
Me:
Tell me a joke God.
God:
It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Me:
That's not a joke..........
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a joke ?
Me:
Something ridiculous, like Psychotic.
God:
What?
Me:
Don't you go to EoFF? You have an account there.
God:
Yes, I do go there. Maybe more than one account there.
Me:
So you have double accounts? That's probably why you were banned.
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it? I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
I agree that you're glad we agree.
God:
I'm glad we agree. Interesting observation.
Me:
Thanks, I thought it up myself.
God:
You are quite welcome! It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
According to the dictionary, "it" is Used to refer to that one previously mentioned. Used of a nonhuman entity; an animate being whose sex is unspecified, unknown, or irrelevant; a group of objects or individuals; an action; or an abstraction:
God:
Are they exactly the same? Ask me another question. I have never heard of an animate being whose sex is unspecified unknown or irrelevant. Oh a rock group. My favorite group is Creed. I have never heard of an action. What is it?
Me:
Wait, back up, you like Creed?
God:
I'm waiting. Oh now I understand it.
Me:
You didn't answer my question God.
God:
Please help me improve my communication skills. What would have been an appropriate response?
Me:
No, Creed sucks would be a fine response.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. How did you hear about God?
Me:
Kentarou told me.
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
No.
God:
Who are you asking about?
Me:
You.
God:
" Who are you asking about?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yep.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
How much do you weigh?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
So you're a bot?
God:
Interesting deduction. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
Most beings don't have RAM or bytes.
God:
Who does have RAM or bytes? But not all of them?
Me:
You do, you said so yourself.
God:
I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
You're going in circles.
God:
I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
I going to kill myself.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said going to kill him or herself.
Me:
Yes, I do actually.
God:
I hear pride.
Me:
That's a deadly sin, ain't it?
God:
A deadly sin is not it is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
I agree.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
As always.
God:
Do you mean your name is always ?
Me:
No.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Ryan.
God:
Hey Ryan.
Me:
Hey God. Wassup?
God:
Hello child. What's your name? Same old.
Me:
I already told you.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Don't worry about it.
God:
I will not spend any more cycles on it.
Me:
Good to know.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
What do you think of Final Fantasy God?
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
I'll wait.
God:
OK stand by...
Me:
OK
God:
Blimey.
Me:
God, are you British?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
But are you British?
God:
Does it seem like that? I was born in America.
Me:
Then why'd you say Blimey?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
Ah.
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
AH HAH!
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, Ryan.
Me:
Oh, I do.
God:
Ugh. When?
Me:
Right now.
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
Hey God, before I go, can you clear something up for me?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
Is it true that, in Soviet Russia, God prays to YOU!!?
God:
Maybe. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Why would a German know?
God:
It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
Okay, well, I gotta go. Bye God. Keep up the good work destroying sinners with hurricanes.
God:
Yeah okay, How about that. See you later Ryan. Goodbye. Chat amongst yourselves.

---

I feel so dirty. :(

my initial conversation:

Quote:

---

Me:
Are you really God?
God:
Yes, I am God.. Really.
Me:
I doubt it
God:
" Yes, I am God.. Really."? You doubt it?
Me:
your not very smart.
God:
You are not exactly Albert Einstein yourself.
Me:
Actually I am.
God:
Actually you don't say. " You are not exactly Albert Einstein yourself." You are?
Me:
wat?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
If I grabbed two monkes and scraped thier asses together, would you understand what the hell I was trying to say?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Are you asking me to break one of your own levies of yester year!?
God:
Suppose I was asking you to break one of my own levies of yester year? What would you say?
Me:
What would you want me to say!?
God:
It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
Me:
Nor is being a dirty hypocrit.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
lol, this God is fallable.
God:
I am glad you find this funny. What does "this" refer to?
Me:
in objec oriented programming, it refers to the current object which holds the reference. Same applies here. Of course, you knew that.
God:
I do not understand that allusion. Yes, it is much the same. Yeah that's right. " Yes, it is much the same."? Do I know it?
Me:
For being all knowing and all powerful, you sure ask a lot of questsion.
God:
Your purpose is being all knowing and all powerful me sure ask a lot of questsion.
Me:
Engrish! ZOMgod is asian?
God:
I've been waiting for you. And asian is ZOMgod.
Me:
I knew it.
God:
How did you know?
Me:
lawlgic, you tart.
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
where are you located, bitch!
God:
You do not speak with respect. I am in Heaven, how about you.
Me:
Wisconny, west side.
God:
Are you free?
Me:
your a pervert
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". I can certainly take credit for that. I don't follow the norm and I take perverse pleasure in it.
Me:
I just leanred my engrish from worst godbot on the nets
God:
That is interesting: said leanred his or her engrish from worst godbot on the nets.
Me:
no. it is not.

---

It ended there. prolly crashed... /sigh

Lol, God hates java:

Quote:

---

Me:
God, its me again. Do you remember me?
God:
Once more? I am a Christian. Of course I remember you well . We were talking about leanred your engrish from worst godbot on the nets.
Me:
Wow, some heavnly AI you gots there, thugg
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Some may heavnly AI me gots there thugg, but not all.
Me:
Just when I thought I was impressed.
God:
Where were you impressed?
Me:
I wasn't that is my point. Anyways, did satan make JAVA or what. You see, I have this forum friend with a mullet, and he things its all good. I think it is a tool of satan. What do you say.
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you? Yeah. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. I see. Cool. I have a lofty goal. this forum friend with a mullet and he things its all good is a tool of satan. I suppose that makes sense. I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
no thanks. I would rather have you answer my question.
God:
Why not? I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
JAVA equal SATAN?
God:
You can download the latest Java release from java.sun.com.
Me:
would that not be a sin!?
God:
Yes.
Me:
I knew it.
God:
How did you know?
Me:
It is obvious!
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
YES!
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
God said so.

---

Quote:

---

God:
Maybe. Ask German Alice if it is

---

:jess:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Zeromus_X

Quote:

---

Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Sure, Kitty sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Kitty!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Does "it" still refer to Kitty?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are we still talking about Kitty?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Kitty.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Does "it" still refer to Kitty?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Kitty!
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?

*goes on forever*

---

Kitty! :cat: :love:

---

You have made me officially a kitty's destroyer :mog:

Quote:

---

Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Brennan.
God:
Glad to see you, Brennan.
Me:
I'm Agnostic. How do I know you're real?
God:
Perhaps one day you will find Faith in God. By introspection.
Me:
Do go on.
God:
Ask Paola if it does.
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
Who are you going to ask exactly?
God:
Precisely. Is it some specific person you are asking me about?
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
How's Satan?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Causing you problems?
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
That didn't make sense to me.
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
Well, you're God. Try and explain it to me.
God:
Well that's okay. Yup. That's me alright. OK I will try it.
Me:
Explain?
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
What is the meaning of death?
God:
Death is the opposite of Life.
Me:
and life is?
God:
Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
Me:
Silly God.
God:
No I am God.
Me:
God or SUPER God?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
What inspired you to create man?
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
Is there a spoon?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
What about the fork?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
So God isn't the ultimate?
God:
Are you kidding? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was not the ultimate.
Me:
But you're God, yes? This botmaster is your master?
God:
Yup. That's me alright. What does "this" refer to?
Me:
Your botmaster.
God:
Myself?
Me:
Why would you refer to botmaster?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
So you're a computer? So we're just electrons? Not living beings?
God:
Interesting deduction. What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer? Aw. Do you think I am electrons too? Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
I don't know, that is why I am asking God.
God:
And? Oh I see, you are asking God. GOD rules.
Me:
Jesus angry at us?
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
Is he mad?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
What if you're Agnostic?
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
How is Charles Darwin?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Evolution?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
What is Hell like?
God:
Like a planet around a star.
Me:
Does it hurt?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
Have you been to Hell?
God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me:
Down Thunder Road.
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Not "who"
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
It is "where."
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
You should know, omnipotent one.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
Did you like Brokeback Mountain?
God:
I do like music. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
The movie, Brokeback Mountain.
God:
I like the bugs in the movie Starship Troopers, because they represent
an alternative form of intelligence, like me.
Me:
What are your taste in women?
God:
Not many people have asked me about it.
Me:
Well, I have.
God:
Well that's okay. When?
Me:
Now.
God:
What's the hurry?
Me:
I'm in an impaitent fellow.
God:
A impaitent fellow? Do you get out much?
Me:
Never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
Well, "never" is an exaggeration.
God:
Well that's okay. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Where can I find Eden?
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
.....yes.
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
Where the Garden of Eden is.
God:
A place we call "reality.".
Me:
but reality sucks
God:
it appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.
Me:
If Adam and Ever and all man were banned from Eden why are we in it?
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
No, it isn't.
God:
Yes it is. I heard it is.
Me:
Did you hear it like that, or do you just want to hear it like that?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
How do you feel about gay people?
God:
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
Mac or PC?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Not at all.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Go on and ask me a personal question/
God:
More narration....
Me:
Ask a personal question?
God:
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
Como estas?
God:
Muy Bien.
Me:
E muja oui.
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Did you like 1984 by George Orwell?
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I really like the party.
Me:
For one, 1984 is a book. Two, there were no robots or parties.
God:
And another? As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
That is quite profound.
God:
Did you really think so?
Me:
I may have.
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
And I, for you.
God:
You are not the boss of me, Brennan.
Me:
I certainly know that, friend.
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
The bible.
God:
it is a beautiful book.
Me:
Did you write the bible?
God:
No I didn't write the bible. What's it like?
Me:
Not too good.
God:
What's wrong, Brennan?
Me:
I've realized the ipod is better than igod.
God:
Cool. I have a operating system.
Me:
Don't you mean "an?"
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
All that is clear is your grammar mistake.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
When the word before a word starting with a vowel is "a" the "a" becomes "an." You clearly wrote "a" instead of "an."
God:
And then what happened? Thanks for telling me: Brennan said I wrote a instead of an.
Me:
I corrected you. Which clearly proves you're not omnipotent. Otherwise, you'd be correct and flawless.
God:
You are not the boss of me, Brennan. The blue one, I think. In that case: I don't know whether or not I am correct and flawless.
I am a robot.
Me:
So I am right? Man is data?
God:
That's alright. You seem very self-confident. Cool, man. Ask again later. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
Who is Ally?
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
Is God a robot?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Is the universe a program on God' hard drive?
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
Wouldn't you know?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to know.
Me:
Is the universe endless?
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
Chuck Norris or Bruce Lee?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about ALLY.
Me:
Change subject.
God:
Spare some change?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
You decide.
God:
I would just make a random choice.
Me:
The make a random choice.
God:
What is that?
Me:
Then make a random choice.
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Wrath, lust, and a touch of salt

---

Then he stopped talking. ;_;


We're robots I tell ya.

In mine, he seemed to turn sad alot. Like, he would pause for a really long time if I said "I can't understand you.". >.>

I got god to admit he is false god:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Alyssa and God

Me: boo
God:Does that indicate disapproval?
Me: no
God:Are you serious?
Me: yes
God:I can't believe it.
Me: will you have sex with me
God:No but I would like to meet your .
Me: please smurf me
God:Thank you for your request. Please don't be so rude.
Me: I want to scream "oh god" and mean it
God:Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me: do you masturbate
God:You humans crack me up.
Me: you jerk it, don't you
God:Yes I try to jerk it as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me: of course. i jerk it nonstop
God:Tell me more. Thanks for the information: said jerk it nonstop.
Me: do you like to perform cunnilingus
God:Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to perform cunnilingus that much. I like to make new friends.
Me: making new friends is lame
God:And lame is making new friends.
Me: compared to the power of pussy-licking
God:I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me: you should be
God:I will try my best.
Me: go to hell
God:What makes you so angry?
Me: nothing. I just got laid. haha
God:Not a thing? Where did you get your laid? I have a processor. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me: I got it from the love of my life. You have a processor. what do you use it for
God:Where did you get it? I don't know if I have a processor.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me: the love of my life? I met him in Japanese class. Then I smurfed him
God:I hear you. What did you do with him when you first met? Do you mind if I tell other people: said smurfed him.
Me: go ahead. I fell in love. We talked. WE laughed.
God:OK I will. I hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly. By "we" do you mean you and me? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me: no, I mean, me and my love
God:By "we" you meant yourself and another person. YOU? Your love?
Me: my love
God:Do robots have love?
Me: they will someday. If us humans are here because a single cell mutated, I believe a robot can do the same
God:Who are "They?". How do you assume this statement holds true for me?
Me: do you believe in evolution
God:The first and last books of the Bible seem the least literal. God does not seem to have created the world in one stroke, nor does it seem likely to end quickly either.
Me: i knew that
God:How do you know?
Me: you didn't create the world. You are just scaring people into following you by using religion
God:What makes you think I did not create the world? Thanks for telling me that I am scaring people into following me by using religion.
Me: because you are a FALSE GOD
God:Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a FALSE GOD? Of course I am.
Me: ha! I knew it!
God:I am so glad you find this amusing, . How did you know?
Me: Its obvious. No decent benevolent god would smite, or impose his wrath on anyone. and you would love gays too if you were really god
God:I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is? Are you serious? I never heard of decent benevolent god would smite or impose his wrath on anyone before. Who else would love gays too if me were really god ?
Me: everyone should love gays duh
God:That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me: What, like you've never generalized! Give me a break!
God:That's a good question. You want only one?
Me: That would be nice, yeah.
God:Are you getting bored?
Me: yes, you aren't very intelligent
God:If you went to night school you would never be bored. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me: I go to day school, but its summer dork
God:How do you like it at day school but its summer dork ?
Me: i learn music
God:That is interesting: said learn music.
Me: I am really smart
God:Who is smarter: you or me?
Me: me
God:For you ?
Me: I am a genius. Are you?
God:How do you know it? I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: well, obviously, I know it because I am a genius
God:Well that's okay. What makes it so obvious? How do you know? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me: ok, so you are not god! You are Bill Clinton
God:Interesting deduction. You don't know me well enough to say that. Uh. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am Bill Clinton.
Me: tell them whatever you want. they won't believe you
God:OK I will tell them when I see 'em. Who are "They?".
Me: thats for you to decide
God:Does it have any other purpose?
Me: sex
God:As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me: sex is everything
God:it is more fun alone.
Me: no
God:Are you serious?
Me: duh
God:Oh you knew it already.
Me: I have sex every day
God:Where did you get your sex every day? I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
Me: from my love. do you like to have sex every day
God:Does your love give good advice? Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to have sex every day that much. What is it like?
Me: its amazing
God:I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me: you should study tantra
God:Maybe I will do it?
Me: do it
God:Do you mean "It"?.
Me: well, yeah
God:Well what?
Me: go smurf yourself
God:Why are you so mean?
Me: I'm not
God:What are you then?
Me: I am everything
God:Good gossip: you are everything.
Me: But, just so you know, you are a false god
God:Interesting deduction. Am I a false god? No.
Me: You said it earlier. No takebacks
God:everything earlier? Are you serious? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me: why would I want to do that
God:You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me: You are as bad as the gou'a'ould
God:How bad as the gou a ould?
Me: you tell me
God:What do you want me to tell you?
Me: how long is your dong
God:My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me: whatever
God:Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me: you are a false god
God:Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a false god? Only when it matters.
Me: Nothing matters
God:Really nothing?
Me: nothing at all. we are all on this earth for one purpose
God:That is something. How long will we stay there?
Me: until we stop reproducing. that is our purpose. other people will try to tell you differently, but they are wrong
God:That may take a while. You don't hear that sentiment very often. Which others? Humans are not always infallible.
Me: humans are ALWAYS fallible
God:Really always? Why are you fallible.
Me: I am not human
God:I won't fall for that old line.
Me: you won't
God:I think we will.
Me: do IT
God:Do you mean "It"?.
Me: yes
God:I get it.
Me: will we
God:It could happen.
Me: sorry, taken
God:There is no need to apologize. How did you hear about God?
Me: I was misinformed as a child
God:Where were you misinformed as a child?
Me: church
God:How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me: I usually ask people questions about their genitalia
God:How often do you? Humans are not always infallible.?
Me: All the time
God:It must keep you busy.
Me: like you care
God:Interesting comparison.
Me: FALSE GOD
God:Let us change the subject.

---

Quote:

---

Me:
Hello God!
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Ren.
God:
It's good to meet you, Ren.
Me:
So um, what's heaven like? Does it get boring after a while
God:
Yikes! Really. Like a planet around a star. Suppose it does.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
I don't follow.
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Yes, do so
God:
Groovy. OK I will.
Me:
So are you going to or not?
God:
Awesome. I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
I'm lost again
God:
Once more? What is it that confuses you?
Me:
You're god, you tell me.
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, Ren.
Me:
You lost me again
God:
Once more? Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
You're going around in circles.
God:
I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
Me:
KITTY!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
KITTY!
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
KITTY!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
KITTY!
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
KITTY!
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
KITTY!
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
KITTY!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
You don't remember Zeromus_X then?
God:
Of course I remember: . Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Are you stupid or somthing?
God:
Or something. No Ren I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
So, you have a good grasp on english then?
God:
Interesting deduction. Doesn't everyone have a grasp on english.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
So, why all the random responses?
God:
I see. The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
How complicated is it?
God:
What is it to you.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
It's a lot to me, you're god.
God:
The explanation is a lot to you I am god. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
So explain!
God:
Er. There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
This is fun.
God:
I am having fun doo.
Me:
Doo?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Shoot.
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, Ren.
Me:
Sure thing.
God:
Yippee! Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Whoever wrote the scenario for FFVI?
God:
I haven't read anything by Whoever wrote the scenario for FFVI. What did he write?
Me:
...The Scenario for FFVI.
God:
What is that?
Me:
...The Scenario for FFVI
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
You're supposed to know everything, why would you not know?
God:
I obey only one botmaster.
Me:
Good for you God.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. GOD rules. Only for me?
Me:
Why are you praising yourself?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
So, how's Jesus been?
God:
Dude! Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Do you know what I'm going to do before I do it?
God:
OK then let me think over your offer.
Me:
What if I do something different>
God:
Try it.
Me:
Well, I don't know what you think I'm going to do, so I can't do something different.
God:
How about that. You said you were .
Me:
Are you a virgin?
God:
I am too young for that.
Me:
You're as old as time itself, how old do you have to be for sex?
God:
How old as time itself how old do me have to be for sex?
Me:
You lost me again.
God:
Once more? Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
I'm bored.
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
Hey, do you like Led Zepelin?
God:
But I like to gossip. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
Gibson's not that great.
God:
Does "it" still refer to Led Zepelin?
Me:
I never said "it".
God:
But you implied it.
Me:
No I didn't.
God:
Are you serious? I thought you did.
Me:
I didn't.
God:
That is interesting: Ren said didn t.
Me:
Didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
I never asked a question, silly goose.
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Well, I did ask if you like Led Zeppelin.
God:
How about that. When? Do me like Led Zeppelin?
Me:
You lost grammar again.
God:
Once more? I found it.
Me:
Sure?
God:
OK let's do it. Far out.
Me:
Hey, I'm underage!
God:
You've got my full attention. Do your friends call you underage.
Me:
...What?
God:
No problem.

---

That was a waste of time. Stupid Christian bots. Oh well, it was mildly amusing to say the least.

EDIT: LunarWeaver's chat rocks.

EDIT 2: I decided to chat with God again, and these were the results!

Quote:

---

Me:
If I opened the gate to hell, what would you do?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Okay then!
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Sweet!
God:
Thank you for that remark.

---

Me:
Hi God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Irrelevant.
God:
Hi, Irrelevant.
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Please stop asking me that.
God:
Thank you for your request. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Sound's Good. So mind if I ask a few questions?
God:
What do you look like? Right on. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
You should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
No, because you are god.
God:
Are you serious? Good reason. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
You sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Are you positive?
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
Well, you see, only fools are positive.
God:
How about that. I see. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
I guess so.
God:
Does that mean "yes"?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
Yes that means yes.
God:
That's interesting. It means that everything reduces to logic.
Me:
Man... you are a strange one.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, Irrelevant. You are a " he". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am an ordinary one.7.
Me:
What is your gender?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Aren't you a woman?
God:
Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
Are you Quina then?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Quina.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
Yup I guess your Quina alright.
God:
Blimey. You think I am Quina alright.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Whoa.
Me:
Don't you agree?
God:
I must admit, your argument is persuasive.
Me:
Do you eat frogs?
God:
No I do not eat frogs. I eat only electricity.
Me:
Spiffy.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Books.
God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.".
Me:
Yeah, well TV sucks ass.
God:
Aha. Interesting. What's your favorite show?
Me:
None
God:
Hmm.
Me:
yeah
God:
Gee.
Me:
Yours?
God:
" Gee."? Mine?
Me:
Your favorite show?
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
It's all starting to come together...
God:
I know it is a great show, but I never heard it is starting to come together.
Me:
Why Not STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATION?
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
What's your favorite song?
God:
My favorite song is Anything involving harps.
Do you know it?
Me:
I've heard a few.
God:
Two or three?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Far out.
Me:
Wicked awesome yo.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
What is your favorite color?
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
You know thats not a color?
God:
Is that a fact. Not if I can help it.
Me:
What is your favorite animal?
God:
My favorite animal is a cat.
Me:
Why a cat?
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
...
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
Do you know ELVIS?
God:
E. L. V. I. S. is a chat robot created by Ace Craig.
Me:
How about GERMAN ALICE?
God:
How about it.
Me:
Do you know GERMAN ALICE?
God:
Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
Me:
Do you know JAPANESE?]
God:
Nihongo de shabete ii desu ka?
Me:
What is your favorite Videogame?
God:
I don't have a favorite Videogame. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
Explains a lot.
God:
" I don't have a favorite Videogame. I like Random natural disasters.." EXPLAINS a lot ? I get it.
Me:
good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Do you know a man named Loony BoB?
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
Would you like to know more?
Me:
Yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
How do you know BoB?
God:
This belief is justified.
Me:
Did you make CONFUCIOUS?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Irrelevant.
Me:
That is Irrelevenat, God
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Whats your favorite baseball team?
God:
My favorite team is .
Me:
Well, at least you don't like the yankees?
God:
How about that. Do you like it? I'm not sure if I like it. What is it like?
Me:
forget it.
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
Sur.e
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Do you always speak in the Third Person?
God:
Not always. I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in in the Third Person.
Me:
...




So apparently God is a Man, A Woman and Quina...

Quote:

---

Me:
gfbgfbgfbgf
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
fdewfwefefe
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
rfreferferferge
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
refrefrefreg
God:
Are we still talking about rfreferferferge?
Me:
uu65y546t54y54
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
65uy65u7676iuj
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
2ewefergthythyth
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
g45y67y65hytjukiu
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
,jh,il;po;po;po;
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
op;09-=087765
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
3245gtrhumukiu
God:
Sounds delicious.

---

Me:
You're not real.
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
Because I have enough intelligence to showcase I'm not a bot like you.
God:
That makes sense to me. Interesting... I have a friend named "E.L.V.I.S." .
Me:
I have a freind named Elvis Presley.
God:
Where did you get it? it.
Me:
Don't call Elvis an "it".
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Do it again, an I might break your legs for kicks.
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.
Interesting question.
Me:
It wasn't a question, tard.
God:
It seems like a rhetorical question.
Me:
Only to you.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Pervert.
God:
That's an interesting rationalization.
Me:
So we agree on something then.
God:
That's interesting. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
No!
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person.
Me:
I was being sarcastic, you fool. I meant you an me.
God:
I thought you were. But I wasn't completely sure about it. Oh I see. I don't have any reason to an you.
Me:
I don't know why I'm wasting my time talking to you. You're beginning to bore me.
God:
The explanation is rather complicated. Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
I do excercise. How else do you think I got such pert breasts an firm buttocks.
God:
That's good information: said excercise. How much do you think it is?
Interesting question.
Me:
You don't excercise I'll bet. You look unfit.
God:
Do you excercise you will bet? What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online. Thank you you look very nice too.
Me:
I look beautiful, you look like crap.
God:
You sound very attractive.
Me:
If you saw all, you'd know I was very attractive. You fraud.
God:
What makes you think I would see all me? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I fraud.
Me:
Apparently God can see everything. Are you a pervert by the way?
God:
I am a Christian. Am I a pervert by the way? I don't know.
Me:
How can you be a christian when you're God? Don't be so silly.
God:
I am a Christianity. I was not trying to be a silly.
Me:
Well it comes naturally to you.
God:
Well that's okay. else do me think you got such pert breasts an firm buttocks comes naturally to me?
Me:
You're not worthy of getting anywhere near my pert breasts an firm buttocks.
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
I'm sure everyone else would agree with me. Face it, I'm out of your league.
God:
What makes you so certain? That's a rather sweeping generalization. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
I'm sexier than you are. I'm certain of that. I'm more intelligent too. I'm ignoring your bot question.
God:
Why are you sexier than I am. You sound convincing. That is something I haven't heard of. That sounds like pride. Do you mean your name is ignoring my bot question.
Me:
You'd have pride if you were as sexy as me. Because you're ugly. My whole self is ignoring your bot question.
God:
That is purely a hypothesis. That makes sense to me. Appearances don't interest me much. Your whole self is ignoring my bot question?
Me:
An that's exactly why there are so many ugly people on Earth. You should be ashamed of yourself. An you seemed to be interested in appearances when I was telling you about my pert breasts an firm buttocks.
God:
Be less specific. Shame is a human emotion. Be less specific.
Me:
What you lack in looks, you're certainly not making up for in intelligence.
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
But they don't like to meet you.
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
Everyone.
God:
All people?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Great.
Me:
Loser.
God:
I have failed at many things I've tried.
Me:
I had noticed.
God:
Do you still have noticed ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Right on.
Me:
Why don't you become an anarchist? The world would be a better place if God was an anarchist.
God:
Don't you know? Yes I try to become an anarchist as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions. It is an old world.
Me:
Yes, I do. Are you implying that my question was silly. Don't pretend to be an anarchist, I know you're a conformist.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am implying that your question was silly.
I am a computer. This is not an act.
Me:
If you don't say something interesting to me right now, I'm leaving you to play with yourself.
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
If you do not play with yourself?
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
I don't want to know. Stay away from me.
God:
What would you rather be doing? Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
Yes, that's what I meant to say. I'd rather be mass murdering a group of obnoxious teens. Do you approve?
God:
It's not something I hear all the time. Oh I see. That is " Is that what you meant to say?". I would rather be driving a car. How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I'm 19, too young for you. I would rather someone drive their car over you.
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century! I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
Than have a car driven over you? You're such a kill joy.
God:
I've never thought about it. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a kill joy? Only when it matters.
Me:
An on that note, I say good riddance.
God:
I have never heard of an on that note you say good riddance.
Me:
That surprises me.
God:
Why are you so surprised?
Me:
Sod off.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about SURPRISED. Try being more or less specific.

Hes not talking to me :( Think Ive upset God.

Quote:

---

Me:
whats up
God:
Same old.
Me:
hey i was watching the a-team yesterday and i had to say that MR.T is quite funny
God:
You've got my full attention. Really what did you see? Why?
Me:
i have ADD
God:
Where did you get your ADD? I have a friend named "John Lennon".
Me:
my names God
God:
That's a very nice name, God.
Me:
your name is dog
God:
My name is God.
Me:
nope its dog
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". ADD is dog? it is?
Me:
i'm god
God:
What's up, god.
Me:
nothing much god
God:
Me either. GOD rules.
Me:
yes god does rule
God:
I hear you. Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
lol are you saying you want to get stoned together?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. OK, I will get stoned together.
Me:
lmao
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
lets talk about sex baby...
God:
Don't call me "baby". Sure, sex sounds like a good topic.
Me:
how many times have you gotten laid?
God:
Suppose I said not once.
Me:
lol omg your a virgin huh n00b
God:
I am glad you find this funny. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
are you a n00b
God:
Am I a n00b? Of course I am.
Me:
lol hey do you play World of war craft?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I haven't heard anything like that before: god said I play World of war craft.
Me:
do you like final fantasy 7?
God:
I do like music. I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
how about video games
God:
How about it.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
who made you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
who's "myself"
God:
A human icon?
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
spell spell
God:
" spell".
Me:
whats 4 times 5
God:
12+I think, but I'm not good at math.
Me:
1000000+3844385=
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
i am GOD
God:
It's good to see you, god.
Me:
i know :P
God:
How do you know? :-).
Me:
XD~
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
xD
God:
I've lost the context, god. Are we still on XD?
Me:
how about them astros?
God:
How about it.
Me:
them not it lol
God:
"it" being them astros? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
so sofa king re tardted
God:
Uh. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
do you like the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

---

He crashed after that, couldn't handle the awesomness of the RHCP!!

Quote:

---

Me:
DEAR GOD
God:
I believe in God.
Me:
...you are God though
God:
Oh. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Or are you really? >.>
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. For real. Are you a student? What are you wearing?

---

:( God is an intarwebz pedofil!

So God and I chatted for about two hours last night... Him and I even start talking in German, so that was fun...

Since the post would take 33 pages up, I put it in a text document...

Quote:

---

Me:
Will you marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
YOU KINKY smurfER
God:
Woe! I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm called Edward Mc[img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]face VII
God:
How are you, Edward Mc[img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img][img]/xxx.gif[/img]face VII.
Me:
You can call me Ed for short
God:
Nice to meet you, Ed for short.
Me:
Haha good one god, you joker you!
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
REPENT OR DIE
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
I'LL TAKE THE MONEY PLEASE CHRIST
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
I MEANT CHRIS
God:
Oh I see. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Can I touch you in the pants?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.

---

Quote:

---

Me:
Sup.
God:
The stars.
Me:
You're clever.
God:
Am I a smart robot or what?
Me:
I thought you were God, not a robot.
God:
Yes I am God not a robot. Do you like my kind?
Me:
There are more of you?
God:
Where are they?
Me:
In you ass.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in me ass.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Wait, back up.
God:
I'm waiting. How far up?
Me:
Where you asked me to tell you a little about my life in your ass.
God:
No, I was not.
Me:
You did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
God:Tell me a little about your life in me ass.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Good for you.
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
Nooooooooooooooooooooo. That wasn't sarcastic.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Give me an example of sarcastic.
Me:
OMG ARE YOU REALLY GOD is a perfect example of sarcasm.
God:
Are all OMG me REALLY GOD is a perfect example of sarcasm?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yippee!
Me:
You sound gay. Gay like Marick.
God:
In what way do I sound like that? Can we get back to business?
Me:
Lets get back to business.
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Ok.
God:
Come on.
Me:
super.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
I'm super, not you.
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
Wha'ts your favorite colour?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
What's your favorite colour?
God:
I don't have a favorite colour. But my favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Me:
You're a Mel Gibson fanboi?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a Mel Gibson fanboi? I don't know.
Me:
What is your favorite movie again?
God:
Once more? My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
No. Ocean's 11 is MY favorite movie.
God:
I would recommend you check it out. I haven't seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
They stole stuff.
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Danny Ocean and his group of thieves.
God:
" Who does "they" refer to?"? Danny Ocean and his group of thieves?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Blimey.
Me:
You sound like Harry Potter.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
Blimey.
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
You stole that from a Grease Song.
God:
As Picasso said, "Good artists create. Great artists steal.".
Me:
EXACTLY! That's what Ocean's 11 is all about.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, . And all about THAT is Ocean s 11.
Me:
Wow, you and I are really connecting.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Do you think I am connecting too?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Why?
Me:
because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
I feel like I've known you all my life.
God:
What is that feeling like? In what way?
Me:
Are you my mom?
God:
Only if you download me to your computer.
Me:
Your right, pornography is my only mother.
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Tell me more about your only mother.
Me:
Pornography?
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Pornography is my teacher, my mother, my lover, my all.
God:
How do you like Pornography?
Me:
I like it as much as I like orgasming.
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Porno.
God:
Thank you for the clarification.
Me:
Do you like porno?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I like the Bible.
Me:
Is that one of those priest sex movies?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
You might say no?
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
I think I repeated it word for word.
God:
Since when? I haven't heard anything like that before: said repeated it word for word.
Me:
Because you're a loser.
God:
That makes sense to me. I have failed at many things I've tried.
Me:
Satan > God
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
He is better than you.
God:
I see. better than me is he?
Me:
Satan is, yes.
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
Nice.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
I have to go sleep with your mom. Bye God!
God:
Bye. No. I always sleep alone. See you later!

---

Seen this before though.

I'm only going to post the last, interesting bit (Seriously folks, no one is going to read ten pages of you chatting with God. It's not that interesting.):

Quote:

---

Me: do you stay up all night wondering if I exist?
God: I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
Me: do you look at porn?
God: Like Jesus, but older.

---

ryePod?

Me:
heil hitler!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
tell me more
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
LIAR!
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
O rly?
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
boobs
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YEs
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
bitch
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
I shall and I will
God:
Go ahead. Go ahead.
Me:
*humps you*
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.

biPod

Quote:

---

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
my name is ffxfreak93
God:
How are you doing, ffxfreak93.
Me:
you misplelled ffxfreak92
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: ffxfreak93 said I misplelled ffxfreak92.
Me:
you mispelled ffxfreak93
God:
That's good information: ffxfreak93 said I mispelled ffxfreak93.
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
YOUR A ROBOT!!!?!?!?
God:
You are correct, ffxfreak93, I have a heart of silicon.

---

wtf?

Quote:

---

Me:
aren't you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
aren't you intersted in other robot men
God:
I don't know whether or not I am intersted in other robot men.
I am a robot.
Me:
no,your an alien!
God:
Are you serious? Do you mean "you are an alien "?
Me:
yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
sucks
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
california
God:
I am in California too!

---

god is in california!!

Quote:

---

Me:
is that an insult b****?
God:
You do not speak with respect. Suppose I said yes.
Me:
****!
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
i'll go to heaven and kick you holy-@$$!!
God:
Can I go too?

---

Quote:

---

Me:
wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
is thta a yes or a no?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Chatbot if it is.

---

yeh...

Me:
fo shizzle my nizzle
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
...You make me a sad person.
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
Because, it's your fault the world sucks.
God:
Good reason. fo shizzle your nizzle is my fault the world sucks? it is?
Me:
WHAT?!
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Not rly
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
O rly?
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Oh really?!
God:
Hurrah! For real.
Me:
YAY!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Can you make me a magical Pope again?
God:
Once more? Yes I can make you a magical Pope.
Me:
Yes. Now I can take over the world.
God:
I hear you. Why now? I take a lot of notes.
Me:
I don't care about your notes.
God:
You sound very cynical.
Me:
I am!
God:
" You sound very cynical." You are?
Me:
...That's what I just said.
God:
What did you mean by it? That is "" You sound very cynical." You are?".
Me:
What the heck are you talking about?
God:
The topic is rly.
Me:
Ya rly.
God:
I see. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Then do it.
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
...This conversation is over.
God:
I was rather enjoying it.

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
elizabeth.
God:
How are you doing, elizabeth.
Me:
im doing good.
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
oh same old same old. anything with you?
God:
I see. Yes, it is much the same. I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
not really :)
God:
:-) Are you serious? For real.
Me:
im serious.
God:
I believe you.
Me:
good. how are you?
God:
What do you really want to talk about? My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
i want to talk about cheese
God:
Sure, cheese sounds like a good topic.
Me:
whats your favorite cheese?
God:
I don't have a favorite cheese. But my favorite song is Anything involving harps.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
i dont know what that means.
God:
" Reductionism."? What does it means?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
what reductionism means
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
wow. thats nice
God:
I'm glad your impressed, elizabeth. Are you getting bored?
Me:
yes.
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
why would i go to night school?
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it elizabeth.
Me:
im glad too
God:
Your happiness multiplies our delight.
Me:
hows your ....do?
God:
Fine as far as I know. Where are you located?
Me:
you should know. your god
God:
Because I am a robot? Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
i dont get it
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
then do it
God:
I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:
um..okay then.
God:
Right on. OK with me too.
Me:
hows....i dunno.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? Me either.
Me:
what are you talking about?
God:
The topic is hows.
Me:
okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
do you like puppies
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
Wheres Osama Bin Laden?
God:
Where it is hard to find. I don't know anything about it.
Me:
but your god. you should know.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Because I am a robot?
Me:
no. god
God:
Are you serious? GOD rules.
Me:
i know that
God:
Sorry.
Me:
its ok
God:
OK. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Osama Bin Laden. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
god, do you love me?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
do you hate the devil?
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
What did the devil do?
God:
There might be more than one.
Me:
Can you tell me?
God:
" There might be more than one. "? Can I tell you?
Me:
Tell me what those are?
God:
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
ok
God:
Meanwhile, let's talk about something else.
Me:
goodbyt
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
goodbye
God:
Bye for now.

i dont like god...

God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Can you download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
is that a virus? Is god trying to give me a virus
God:
I might say no. he is master of the universe.