Originally Posted by
Psychotic
It's alright, lovehurts. Everybody needs to fit in and make lots of friends, however, ignore everyone who says be yourself. These people are wrong. Instead, here is my step-by-step guide to becoming the Campus King:
Step 1: Buy several polo shirts.
Step 2: Wear the polo shirts.
Step 3: Make sure the collar is popped up at all times.
Congratulations, you are now popular!
Now for the ladies, because after all, that's what college is all about! Am I right? Huh? Huh? :jokey:
Step 1: Go to a popular student bar. Sometimes you may need fake ID, what with the wacky American alcohol laws.
Step 2: Find an attractive female student, who is older than you. After all, you're too good for freshman girls!
Step 3: Tell her you're going to be a doctor.
Step 4: Try to cop a feel, before being shrugged off. Bonus points if you earn a slap.
Step 5: Vomit on your shoes before stumbling back home.
Success! You are now the University's #1 Cassanova!
That's just some beginner basics. I can give you some advanced tips such as "Failing algebra by not attending class, then acting indignant about it" but I think this will keep you going for a while.