Damn Cicadas

As I went to approach my Mom outside to ask if she was ready for us to go driving, I look between my feet and I see it. An abomination. The vilest of vile. A cicada bug. The evil member of the Cicadoidea family, of the order Hemiptera. As I stared down into its large shiny wing, filled with lies, I glanced into the two twin black beads on its face and was instantly paralyzed. It did not spew its hellish noise, but in my mind, I heard it. Its eyes pierced into my soul, as I felt it reading my every thought, my secrets, my desires. It muttered, I stood its trials...

¡CHCKCKCKCKCKKCKC Jessica, I know your deepest secrets, you cannot hide from the Cicadas!

Nooo, it cannot be. ;___;

¡CHCHCHCHCCCKCKC Jessiiiica, I know how you secretly enjoy putting pots on your head and calling yourself a pot head much to the dismay of your parents, because their 16 year old daughter is acting like she's 5!

N-no, that's not true, how do you know this, get out of my mind!

¡CHKKCKCKCKCH Jesssiica, I know how you ran into your room screaming "IT WAS A LIE!" and cried hysterically for hours the night when you found out that Santa wasn't real, when you were... NINE HAHAHAHA!

Noooooooooo, stop reading my secrets! A lot of kids found out when they were 9! I hope! ;_____;


¡CHCHCHHCHCHCHCKC Jesssssiiiiiica, I know how you once didn't get Blues Clues right and how your boyfriend rightfully makes fun of you for it still!

Noooooo! It was Steve's fault, honest! His clouds look liked flowers and-


¡CHCIKCKCKCKCKCKC SILENCE JESSICA, you cannot lie before the Cicada. I know your desires. I know how you want to... how you... want... to STROKE FABIO'S HAIR ALL DAY. You want to chop it off, skillfully make it into a wig, and gingerly stroke the golden locks all day long!

Noooooooooooo! What the Hux... I cannot win. I cried out, as I sunk upon my knees, a shell of a girl, a mere husk, the demonic CHCCKCKCKCKCKKFF clicking ringing in my ears as the world spiraled into black.

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Anyways, tell me of bugs you dislike and bad encounters with them.

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Santa wasn't real

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What. :(

I don't mind bugs unless they spew stuff on me. Then I proceed to throw them against something hard.

Some of those secrets made me lol.

And for those of you who don't know what a cicada is:
here ;D

I've had countless terrible run ins with spiders. I hate spiders more than anything and they always somehow wind up crawling through my hair when I go on hikes :(

EDIT: lol @ the pothead, I'm totally doing that all the time now.

I'm surprised you didn't post about the cicada conspiracy. Or are you afraid they'd overhear that you're on to them and come after you?

And I make fun of you for the Santa thing too.

I love listening to the locusts in the summertime. <3

I hate cockroaches! Especially the huge flying variety. I was terrified of them as a kid because our house is adjacent to a huge field and they would always sneak inside and fly at me. :(

Bees, wasps, hornets, horseflies...I am positively phobic of them. Most other bugs just creep me out. Except butterlies. Butterflies rawk.

DON'T JUDGE ME!

Puss Moths are so cute.

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Originally Posted by MoonsEcho

I hate cockroaches! Especially the huge flying variety. I was terrified of them as a kid because our house is adjacent to a huge field and they would always sneak inside and fly at me. :(

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But cockroaches are such a nutritious meal. :(

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Originally Posted by Decessus

Puss Moths are so cute.

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That is THE cutest bug I have ever seen. Shame they're so poisonous because I want to stroke it. :(

I like most bug. I think slugs and prey mantises are adorable. I think spiders are cool and I "have" a spider named Moshy, much to the dismay of certain people. xD

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Originally Posted by Rye

I think spiders are cool and I "have" a spider named Moshy, much to the dismay of certain people. xD

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Now THOSE are evil.

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Originally Posted by Decessus

Puss Moths are so cute.

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EW! Ewewewewewewewewewew! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

omgggggggggggggggggggggggggggereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

This one time I was at Matt's place and I was taking a shower. Lalala clean clean lala. So I turn off the shower, cause I'm clean, and I reach for a towel which is sitting on the back of his toilet. As I pick it up something blackish falls out and lands on the floor and SKITTERS AROUND and it was a COCKROACH and I am SCARED TO DEATH OF THEM. Like, doesn't even make sense.

So this cockroach is this big |----------------------| and is SKITTERING AT ME and I freeze and all I can do is scream.

And Matt rescued me after about fifteen seconds, but then he made fun of me. I was so scared.

Cockroaches are worse then cicadas ... one time I woke up at night, and went downstairs to get a glass of water. As I was walking, I looke down, and saw this huge cockroach that I was just about to step on, and I wasn't wearing slippers. Needless to say, I ran like hell, crying for my mom.

I was like, seven. I'm still traumatized by this incident.

Blues clue is hard evne for someone my age don't be ashamed! i remember when i watched blues clues daily i would get mad becuas ei couldn't get the answers right and then all my friends were mad becuase it was to easy.

Spiders aren't evil but they hate me becuas eof my foolish childhood mistake. Now every year one humungo dungo spider tries to kill me. Its a conspiracy there mad pelippers eat spiders so they try to kill me.

Bugs are ugly Huxers, but I don't feel fear in their presence.

That Puss moth is incredibly bizarre and alien.

Edit: Jessica :jess: The Cicadas see into your sooouuuuuulll~

They will tear the secrets from your flesh!

Naughty secrets!

Aside from the obvious spider fear, bees, ants, and centipedes always unnerved me.

I don't like bees very much. I'm fine if they leave me alone, but they really seem to like landing on my body. I hate the feeling of their feet on my skin. I freeze up and my heart starts beating really fast. I'm too scared to do anything because I think they'll jab me up if I do.
Sometimes it feels like they are still on me, even though they have left, so I can sit around for hours thinking there is a bee on me.

I've never actually been stung like that before, though.

Oh, there's another thread for bees. Oh well. smurf it.

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Originally Posted by Decessus

Puss Moths are so cute.

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D:

How the hell is that a moth?

I had to c atch kill and pin like a million bugs in tenth grade for biology ;.; it was awful ;.; I hate bugs ;.; and I had to shove pins through their M&Mlike shells ;.;

The worst episode with a crawly thing (it wasnt' an insect!) was when a centipede tried to climb up through my sink's drain while I was brushing my teeth ;.;

I wish I had one of these so that it would eat all the dumb bugs and centipedes :(

I've got to stop clicking things when I don't really want to know D= But for some reason I thought when you guys said CUTE, you meant CUTE, not SICK AND HORRIBLE AND UGLY. ;3 *quits this thread*

In texas we have flying roaches and they talk to me like that ...

I stand there staring one in its beady little eyes and then it says ... "Psst ... Hey buddy ! Gotta nickle !?!" as it opens another beer and takes a long drink.

Thats when i run outa the room or in the house screaming ... but of course it can fly so it chases me "Come on man ! i just need to get back on my feet, come on! My car is in oklahoma and my wife and kids live in washington ... i just need a nickle to get a bus ticket. Please man help me out!"

When that doesn't work they threaten to cut me ... they say "I cut you soo bad, you wish i no cut you so bad !"

then the relatives come up begging for handouts ... freeloading roaches ...

I hate bugs, plain and simple...any kind of bug scares me and I scream whilst running away...my daddy squishes them for me :love:

well, just the other day, i had a roach that got somewhat close to my groin, well...infact..it hit me....
It all happened when i was riding my motorcycle, at about 50-55mph, which is resonably slow for a bike...and this cockroach comes along and freakin hit's me in teh b*ll*cks! It stung like crazy! i had to pull over and kinda try to rub it better without lookin to strange...:eek:

Ants, I detest the little buggers, int he summer they all come into my house, so like, you're sitting minding your won business when you feel a tickling in your foot, then up your leg, and more tickling, then soon you've got 4 or 5 ants crawling up your legs, I HATE ANTS. So I do the only natural thing and shake my legs and kill any and all ants that find, then I get paranoid after that, and my leg air and arm hair feels like ants ;_;.

cockroaches are the worst and i'm glad they do not fly in North America (according to my accounts). i had just encountered one at the bottom of the sink last Thursday. some cats (like mine) just leave the dirty work to their owners from day 1, so i asked my brother to go and kill it. it turns out he only wounded it, but i had the guilty (no, shameless) pleasure of spraying it down the garbage disposal and well - i flipped the switch...

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Originally Posted by Rye

As I went to approach my Mom outside to ask if she was ready for us to go driving, I look between my feet and I see it. An abomination. The vilest of vile. A cicada bug. The evil member of the Cicadoidea family, of the order Hemiptera. As I stared down into its large shiny wing, filled with lies, I glanced into the two twin black beads on its face and was instantly paralyzed. It did not spew its hellish noise, but in my mind, I heard it. Its eyes pierced into my soul, as I felt it reading my every thought, my secrets, my desires. It muttered, I stood its trials...

¡CHCKCKCKCKCKKCKC Jessica, I know your deepest secrets, you cannot hide from the Cicadas!

Nooo, it cannot be. ;___;

¡CHCHCHCHCCCKCKC Jessiiiica, I know how you secretly enjoy putting pots on your head and calling yourself a pot head much to the dismay of your parents, because their 16 year old daughter is acting like she's 5!

N-no, that's not true, how do you know this, get out of my mind!

¡CHKKCKCKCKCH Jesssiica, I know how you ran into your room screaming "IT WAS A LIE!" and cried hysterically for hours the night when you found out that Santa wasn't real, when you were... NINE HAHAHAHA!

Noooooooooo, stop reading my secrets! A lot of kids found out when they were 9! I hope! ;_____;


¡CHCHCHHCHCHCHCKC Jesssssiiiiiica, I know how you once didn't get Blues Clues right and how your boyfriend rightfully makes fun of you for it still!

Noooooo! It was Steve's fault, honest! His clouds look liked flowers and-


¡CHCIKCKCKCKCKCKC SILENCE JESSICA, you cannot lie before the Cicada. I know your desires. I know how you want to... how you... want... to STROKE FABIO'S HAIR ALL DAY. You want to chop it off, skillfully make it into a wig, and gingerly stroke the golden locks all day long!

Noooooooooooo! What the Hux... I cannot win. I cried out, as I sunk upon my knees, a shell of a girl, a mere husk, the demonic CHCCKCKCKCKCKKFF clicking ringing in my ears as the world spiraled into black.

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Anyways, tell me of bugs you dislike and bad encounters with them.

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I wish my pet caterpillar can tell fancy stories like your Cicada. :(

Cicadas are cute and friendly! You crazy person.

I have only ever had bad experiences with wasps, which are so traumatising that I can't go into detail on the matters right now.

You couldn't just say you hated Cicadas?

I've never actually seen one. Not even in a picture. But as for me, I once had a hairy orange bug walk on my back.

Rye, that story was very amusing :)

Anyway, back on topic - I hate spiders. Everytime I see one I scream like a little girl and call out for my mom to come and get it - My dad and older brother are also scared of these cruel creatures... It's so sad.

If you're not doing so, get help. If you are getting help, it's not working, get better help.

Crane Fly make me cry ;___; They sit on the walls and LAUGH at me screaming, and then decide to make it worse and FLY AT ME.

People at school have found out I have a fear of Crane Fly, and they keep catching them, and chasing me with them.
One lad brought a Crane Fly to our form room in his blazer pocket, I thought he was bluffing! He opened his hand and it FLEW AT ME. I jumped over the table xD

I'm getting cockroachy sensations on the soles of me feet, now. Curses. :(

This thread reminds me of the spaiwear thread xD thanks.

Anyway, I hate multilegged insects like millipedes and centipedes because their appearance is so grotesque that I dare not touch. So what's the big deal?

One day my ex gf starts yelling downstairs. I come down and see a millipede crawling around her desk!

Gasp what do I do?

15 mins later I crushed it, grabbed a tissue and threw it away. Took me forever cuz I didn't wanna touch it

ewww!

I don't like wasps because once one landed on my eyelid, and stung me. It sucked my soul out of my body and grew into a giant 10ft wasp, with a 3ft sting! It was horrific! But luckily, without my soul, I had no feeling of fear, so I jumped on it and bit it's disgusting bug-eyes and they popped and it went:

(squeaky voice) "NOOOOO!!!! THAT SOUL WAS TO BE MIIIINE! I COULD HAVE RULED THE WORLD!!!! YOU FIEND! I SHALL BE BACK DEMON! I SHALL BE BACK!"

and then it imploded and disappeared with a pop.


Needless to say, I have now got my soul again.

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Originally Posted by Pureghetto

This thread reminds me of the spaiwear thread xD thanks.

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You are my azn muse, dear PG~

And of course not, Doomie. This thread would be rather boring then. ;__;

MOSQUITOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY BIT ME EVERYWHERE!

I KILLED IT TODAY AFTER SCHOOL!

I used to hate wasps and bees.

Bugs talk to you? I'm sorry. :(

I have a millipede stalker at home, he followed me into my room, got under the covers with me, eeeeeeeeee. *cringe* I can't just kill something either, so I guess I'll let him stalk me until I accidentally squish him while rolling in bed.

This quote made me giggle uncontrollably for several reasons:

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Originally Posted by Rye

That is THE cutest bug I have ever seen. (1)Shame they're so poisonous because I want to stroke it. :(

(2)I like most bug. I think slugs and (3)prey mantises are adorable.

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1: sig'd because I am immature :bigsmile:
2: lol @ spellingerrors
3: My friend threw a praying mantis at me and it was scary :(

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Originally Posted by aisle_s

This quote made me giggle uncontrollably for several reasons:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rye

That is THE cutest bug I have ever seen. (1)Shame they're so poisonous because I want to stroke it. :(

(2)I like most bug. I think slugs and (3)prey mantises are adorable.

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1: sig'd because I am immature :bigsmile:
2: lol @ spellingerrors
3: My friend threw a praying mantis at me and it was scary :(

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Haha. xD Shoulda seen my LJ entry about the bug. I said I wanted to stroke it and brush my lips on it and I didn't realise how much people were going to consider that to be sexual, which is sad because I usually have the dirtiest mind ever.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rye

Haha. xD Shoulda seen my LJ entry about the bug. I said I wanted to stroke it and brush my lips on it and I didn't realise how much people were going to consider that to be sexual, which is sad because I usually have the dirtiest mind ever.

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Rye, you have a dirty mind? :eek:

I thought you were so sweet and innocent and vulnerable and cute! :crying:

PLEASE tell me you have a dirty mind as in, 'There's a little bit of fluff in there. My feather duster will sort it out!' Otherwise I'll be so sad and I'll never post another Poll again! :crying:

How in love you are my friend...

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Originally Posted by Devil Man

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rye

Haha. xD Shoulda seen my LJ entry about the bug. I said I wanted to stroke it and brush my lips on it and I didn't realise how much people were going to consider that to be sexual, which is sad because I usually have the dirtiest mind ever.

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Rye, you have a dirty mind? :eek:

I thought you were so sweet and innocent and vulnerable and cute! :crying:

PLEASE tell me you have a dirty mind as in, 'There's a little bit of fluff in there. My feather duster will sort it out!' Otherwise I'll be so sad and I'll never post another Poll again! :crying:

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No, she has a dirty mind in the sense that she's constantly telling me about people ejaculating on her. Figuratively, of course, but still.

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Originally Posted by Rye

Quote:

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Originally Posted by aisle_s

This quote made me giggle uncontrollably for several reasons:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rye

That is THE cutest bug I have ever seen. (1)Shame they're so poisonous because I want to stroke it. :(

(2)I like most bug. I think slugs and (3)prey mantises are adorable.

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1: sig'd because I am immature :bigsmile:
2: lol @ spellingerrors
3: My friend threw a praying mantis at me and it was scary :(

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Haha. xD Shoulda seen my LJ entry about the bug. I said I wanted to stroke it and brush my lips on it and I didn't realise how much people were going to consider that to be sexual, which is sad because I usually have the dirtiest mind ever.

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/pried

/asianpried

/asianpried....rice

if you typed bigger maybe i would reply

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Originally Posted by Magus of Zeal

How in love you are my friend...

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Magus of Zeal is the Apple of Devil Man's Eye :bigsmile:

Come to Devil Man baby! :hot:

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Originally Posted by rikkus boy hates eliza

if you typed bigger maybe i would reply

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COMBULATIONS ELIZAGERTH IS THIS TEXT LARGE ENOUGH? MY STORY WAS ABOUT HOW A CICADA THAT USED SPANISH PUNCTUATION LOOKED INTO MY SOUL AND TORMENTED ME WITH MY OWN SECRETS LIKE HOW I ENJOY PLACING POTS ON MY HEAD TO BE A "POT HEAD" AND THE TOPIC IS BAD EXPERIENCES WITH BUGS OKAY? :bigsmile:

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Originally Posted by Devil Man

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Magus of Zeal

How in love you are my friend...

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Don't say these things. You might make Rye sad :( And me :(

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Maybe you might make Rye sad by suggesting she cannot be cute, sweet, an dirty. I have many scary bug experiences. Recently I was prancing through my house, as I often do. When I felt something stuck to my sock. I pulled it off thinking it would be something like a crumb, but it was a weevel! :weep: I was disgusted.

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Originally Posted by Rye

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rikkus boy hates eliza

if you typed bigger maybe i would reply

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COMBULATIONS ELIZAGERTH IS THIS TEXT LARGE ENOUGH? MY STORY WAS ABOUT HOW A CICADA THAT USED SPANISH PUNCTUATION LOOKED INTO MY SOUL AND TORMENTED ME WITH MY OWN SECRETS LIKE HOW I ENJOY PLACING POTS ON MY HEAD TO BE A "POT HEAD" AND THE TOPIC IS BAD EXPERIENCES WITH BUGS OKAY? :bigsmile:

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There's no need to shout :crying:

dont kill bugs unless as the case usually is they are tryin to kill you.....

pot head
hen tai

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Originally Posted by sephirothishere

dont kill bugs unless as the case usually is they are tryin to kill you.....

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Yes, sir!

I rarely kill bugs, but even if I wanted to, I could not kill the Cicada. He had me paralysed with fear and his inate knowledge of my secrets. ;________;

I had the worlds largest green grasshopper thing sit in my suitcase while on holiday. Dear god it was huge, and worst of all it jumped onto me while i slept and i opened my eyes to see this hideous abomination staring me in the face. It must have been about three inches long and high, that and it could jump to the moon if it wanted to, i'm sure.

That was a pretty nasty encounter.