MSN makes conversations *harder*...

So, I was mailing with this girl for quite a while, and it all went smoothly; we could chat about all kinds of stuff, and we even got into discussions concerning how getting children would feel like. :D
Anyway, suddenly she obviously wanted us to talk on the MSN; I gave her my MSN, and it turned out to be this typical stiff conversation, kinda like:

"Hello!"
"Hello!"
"How are you doing?"
"Fine, and you?"
"Fine."
"That's great."

...and then we started talking about what we were doing, and all this crap, and now I get the feeling everything goes stiffer and stiffer with every minute.
Damn it, talking to people via the MSN is utter failure IMO, it's always the same crap.

I mean, I don't think she's tired of me or anything (at least it doesn't look like it, or anything), but MSN always seems to screw around with me on the conversation department; and I really ain't alone thinking like this.

It's because you're forcing it. Forced conversations are the bane of everything ever. Try talking about stuff that might actually be interesting and see if it develops naturally after that. If not, you're just going to keep getting stiff and awkward.

You should use the Private Messaging system provided at http://forums.eyesonff.com. It is free and very easy to use. :jess:

PS: And PM Resha or Old Manus, they will make your conversation very interesting. :bigsmile:

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Originally Posted by Peter_20

MSN makes conversations *harder*...

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Originally Posted by Peter_20

...and now I get the feeling everything goes stiffer and stiffer every minute.

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:jokey:

Anyways, to be serious, if your MSN conversations don't flow well, then I think you guys should just stick to email. G'luck with that. :)

Just tell her she looks like Michael Jackson. That should get her talking.

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Originally Posted by Rye

Anyways, to be serious, if your MSN conversations don't flow well, then I think you guys should just stick to email. G'luck with that. :)

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I dunno, cybersex over e-mail generally doesn't seem like such a hot idea.

Like cybersex EVER seems like a hot idea.

Maybe you're both just realy boring people. :P

Do something drastic. Send a link to a pornographic image.

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Originally Posted by Hsu

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Originally Posted by Rye

Anyways, to be serious, if your MSN conversations don't flow well, then I think you guys should just stick to email. G'luck with that. :)

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I dunno, cybersex over e-mail generally doesn't seem like such a hot idea.

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No, it doesn't really. The waits would probably be so tantalizing. :(

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Originally Posted by Rye

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Originally Posted by Peter_20

MSN makes conversations *harder*...

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Originally Posted by Peter_20

...and now I get the feeling everything goes stiffer and stiffer every minute.

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:jokey:

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Rye, you win the internet.

Maybe she got tired of talking to you so she got an automatic device to do it for her.


Oh, that didn't help...

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Originally Posted by Magus of Zeal

Maybe she got tired of talking to you so she got an automatic device to do it for her.


Oh, that didn't help...

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Then why did you ever submit the post? :mad:

Automatic device?
Gimme a break, it was SHE who asked for MY MSN.

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Originally Posted by Peter_20

Automatic device?
Gimme a break, it was SHE who asked for MY MSN.

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Well then she obviously wants to get to know you more. Don't disappoint her with an awkward, boring, conversation. Be sponaneous. :count:

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Originally Posted by I Took the Red Pill

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Originally Posted by Peter_20

Automatic device?
Gimme a break, it was SHE who asked for MY MSN.

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Well then she obviously wants to get to know you more. Don't disappoint her with an awkward, boring, conversation. Be sponaneous. :count:

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Yeah, well, I guess it's a good idea to note that I've got Asperger's Syndrome.
Anyway, what's with this "spontaneous stuff"?
I always seem to get stuck on topics that either concern myself too much or are just plain uninteresting.
What the hell am I supposed to talk about?
I don't wanna go narcissistic and start babbling about myself forever.

Yeah, sometimes I prefer email and all to MSN. :D

Then, you know, ask her about herself. Jebus.

Yeah, I just went "screw it" and started asking about herself, kinda like "I'd like to know more about you :)" and suddenly everything became much easier.

Wow, I'm making great progress for being a shy Asperger-guy. :D

It is said that woman likes talking about themselves, i won't know if this is a pro or a con.

PS: I seldom talk about myself.

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Originally Posted by Christmas

It is said that woman likes talking about themselves, i won't know if this is a pro or a con.

PS: I seldom talk about myself.

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Sometimes MASMAS even pretends to be a man :(

Don't treat MSN like a phone conversation where you have to say something every five seconds. That's just irritating.

Of course I don't usually talk to people over IM unless IRC is down or they don't get on there xD

Happens all the time. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have anything to talk about because I know the person too well and we've practically talked about everything. But that whole not talking about anything interesting phase goes away. I just say continue talking and putting some sort of effort out there, then something'll will spark up, and it'll be just like old times.

yeah, but whats worse is when an msn conversation is more stimulating than live conversation, then you know you're in trouble

MSN convos are really hard sometimes unless they're with someone you don't talk to often.

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Originally Posted by licence

MSN convos are really hard sometimes unless they're with someone you don't talk to often.

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I find it to be the opposite! I feel like I can't be myself when I'm talking with someone I don't know very well. When I'm talking with someone I'm comfortable with it's so much easier and stuff flows better and you can joke around and blah blah blah. So yeah just keep at it and eventually talking to this girl over instant messaging will get better. If you're like me anyways. Like Reles said, effort!

Every once in awhile if I don't have the energy or the inspiration to lead a conversation over IM, I'll just forget to respond and let it die out. In that case, you can always talk to them another day. In general, though, I find talking to people over IM much more fluid and conversationy than any other method online.

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Originally Posted by kikimm

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Originally Posted by licence

MSN convos are really hard sometimes unless they're with someone you don't talk to often.

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I find it to be the opposite!

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MSN > AIM, MSN > Yahoo, Yahoo > AIM

.:. MSN RAWKS MEH SAWKSERS!

EDIT: Only 'cause you can get lotsa smilies through the internet and add them though ;)

I'm not very quick on my feet. I'm not good at instant messaging stuff.

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Originally Posted by Christmas

PS: And PM Resha or Old Manus, they will make your conversation very interesting. :bigsmile:

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Everyone who is reading this message. SEND OLD MANUS A PM RIGHT NOW. DO IT.

Just start talking about household appliances or something extremely off the wall. It's an excellent conversation starter.

I think one of the reasons why your conversations feel more awkward is because you can't really put as much text into MSN messages than in e-mails. Getting used to the difference between e-mailing with someone and chatting with someone also takes a while since your conversations will be different.

It's a bit like that for me too, except on a slightly different way. When I'm used to talking with my IRL friends either face to face or on the phone, it feels really weird talking to them on MSN Messenger, and our Messenger conversations just aren't the same as IRL conversations. Alternatively, there's a few people with who I've talked a lot in the university's IRC channels and queries, but I'm not really sure what to tell them when seeing them IRL. I'd say go with the way of conversation you two have got used to and what feels the most natural for you. :)